Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A beautiful past




Today is our Malaysia Merdeka Day for which we are celebrating our 53 National Independence. Though i have a young heart, i could still remember the 31st August 1957 when we were shouting our "Merdeka" with our 1st Prime Minister, YB Tunku Abdul Rahman at the National Stadium in Kuala Lumpur.

I was only 10 then, innocent and not knowing what independence was all about. Although we have progressed tremendously well, i still like my yesteryear when things were so different. Those days we had no mineral water, or if ever mineral bottles were being sold, nobody would buy them. We just drank water straight from the tap. We didn't have to carry any drink to school either. After taking food from our school canteen, all students drank water from the tap without fear. Believe me..no student got sick. Not today! No student or even adult would darn to sip a drop of tap water, unless it's filtered. Are we progressing... i wonder!!!

I won't forget my teenager's years, i had a great time learning to dance the cha cha, rumba, twist and finally the shake. We didn't have to waste money to dance in the nightclub or the disco. Once our parents were away and not in the house, we would arrange the dance parties at our homes. The girls came by themselves without fear and later the boys escorted them home by buses. There was no violence or thief and it so safe to move late in the night. Not today! No lady would come along with the gentleman if he has no expensive car. No girl would be brave to move alone even in the day, because the snatch thieves are so common. I too had witnessed two different ocassions when my lady friends were snatched away their handbags right in the open. Are we advancing... i wonder!!!!

Food for thought - "We can pay our debt to the past by putting the future in debt to ourselves" - John Buchan

Monday, August 30, 2010

Writing & Speaking are two different skills


Writing and speaking are two different skills. I believe those who could write well, might not be able to speak confidently on stage or openly with a crowd. Likewise those who could speak very well, might find it hard to write and express their thoughts on writing.

In the course of my work, i observed those who work as management staffs and needed to communicate on paper, always write efficiently without difficulty. However if they were required to stand up to speak their mind, they might go speechless on the platform. On the other hand, those who sell and market, find speaking is easy as ABC. Some could even 'out talk' birds from flying down their hands, a Chinese phrase of good speaking. Believe me, when you request them to write a letter or complaint, it's going to be the hardest task in their work.

As efficient life insurance agents, not only we should express well but we have to write well too. So sad! Most of us could speak like an orator, in writing they score almost zero skill. Their grammar, spelling, vocabulary and the command of the language is horrible. They are capable to bring in the sales without writing. In the long run, i wonder how they could be able to provide good services when they are unable to communicate in writing with the Principle and the clients. Yes! you can speak and talk but you still need to put your talking into writing for future references as well.

Talking is my hobby and thanks God, blogging helps me to improve my writing. Let me talk, i could capture your mind. Let me write, i think i could win your heart too. Am i right?

Food for thought - “Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”- Lawrence Clark Powell quotes

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Catholic Heart Attack


A man suffered a sudden serious heart attack, and had immediate lifesaving open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment.

She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a weak voice, “No health insurance.”

The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied. “No money in the bank.”

The nun asked, “Do you have a relative who could help you with the cost?” He said, “I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.”

The nun became agitated, and said loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”

The patient replied, “Then send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

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P.S: Man should have bought medical insurance in the first place. Buy insurance when you don't need it, when you need it, you can't buy.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Behind every great man is a greater woman


DEDICATED TO ALL THE WOMEN I KNOW TO PUT A SMILE ON THEIR FACE

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, he would now be President"

The other meaning is - “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carrey quotes

Friday, August 27, 2010

Tips to make your lady happy


While waiting for my little darling at a boutique, i took time to watch these interesting shoppers. A young gentleman was holding his girlfriend's handbag while she was selecting her choices. Later the man paid the bills happily over the counter with the girl smiling towards him. They left holding each other arms. The sales ended with satisfaction from both parties.

At the other corner, sat an elderly man with a sunken look. His old wife was taking time to pick her choices too. Finally she got her selection, when she had to pay using her own cash, while the angry husband was staring at her. She had to carry her handbag and all those wrapped dresses by herself. He walked out of the shop grumbling and mum mering with anger. The sales ended with one unsatisfied customer.

Moral of the story.. No man would complain his girlfriend for shopping. Husband.. I am not sure!!

Love quote -“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.” - Madame de Stael.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

What is Happiness?


I got to know an Iranian lady's friend recently, who is currently studying for her Doctrine in Malaysia. Her studies were being disturbed because her mind wasn't at peace. Love and the past were the main causes of her unhappiness. With our constant communication through Facebook and our emails, i was able to change her mindset from negative to positive. She seems happier and more cheerful in her recent writing to me.

One of the subject i shared with her was Happiness. I asked her how much she knows and understands what is Happiness. Sounds a very simple word! Before she began, i told her this... if one explains Happiness by using 100 words or more, i think that particular person might not really know what happiness is. The more explanation and definition, the more one confuses the word of happiness. If you could explain Happiness by less than 20 words... Ah! I think you are drawing nearer to it. Finally, if someone who could use one or less than 5 words to define Happiness, this word will be easier to understand... even a small child would.

Since my lady friend hasn't come back with an answer, i might as well blog it here for her and the rest to read. Happiness cannot be seen, neither can be eaten nor smell and cannot be touched either. One word to describe Happiness...is "Feeling." Is only feeling of our mind. Right? Our brain is constantly thinking and the only time when the brain isn't functioning is when we are dead. When we are thinking, our thought has feeling and the feeling is either happy or unhappy. Feeling comes in many forms. We can be excited, anxious, sad, frustrated, worried, tensed and scared. All these feelings lead to happy or unhappy of ourselves eventually.

If my lady friend could think of the good and beautiful past, like those childhood days when her parents were around to kiss and hug her, she could feel to be happy instantly. However if she chooses to think of the present about her unfaithful boyfriend, she might cry and feel to be unhappy immediately too. The choices are up to her. I suggest she should think of all meaningful sweet things to feel happy rather than to be sad. My dear there... Happiness is only feeling.

Specially for my dear friend from Iran - "What's the use of worrying? It never was worth while, So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag, And smile, smile, smile" -- George Asaf

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Is 24 hours enough?


Have you heard of the Planet X Nibiru?

The Planet X Nibiru 2012 theory is a supposed clash between our planet Earth and an extremely large planet. Many people believe this will take place in the early 21st century. The Term Planet X Niburu 2012 has been linked to the doomsday prediction of December 21st, 2012. You will often here this doomsday event referred to as simply 2012, Planet X or Nibiru.

Perhaps if ever Planet X Nibiru draws nearer to our Planet Earth, our gravity might be affected and our earth rotation could be slower than normal. I am just curious, instead of our normal 24 hours a day, the gravity force and rotation change our system to be 48 hours a day. What happen then my friends?

I asked several contacts this question... Do you like 48 hours a day? Some said yes and many said no. The yeses are.... more time to make money, more time to sleep and more time for holidays. Those who disagreed... have to work more, don't know what time to get up and have to wait longer to receive salaries.

Master Lee loves 48 hours. He said... he could work for 40 hours and sleeps 8 hours everyday. Steph dislikes because she has to serve her clients more than 24 hours of day light hours. Not me! I enjoy sleeping and i would allow myself to sleep two times a day. More time for me to make love and enough hours for me to blog and blog. 48 hours a day is wonderful for me. What about you?

Food for thought - "There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do" - Bill Watterson quotes

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A Perfect Husband


Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the Hands Free Speaker - function and begins to talk....Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only for £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2010 model. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths open!!!!
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He smiles and asks : "Does Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Hi! My ladies there... You think getting a perfect husband is possible? This statement might strike you... "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life" ~ Rita Rudner

Monday, August 23, 2010

Beauty without brain isn't complete.


Some girls might have beauty but their brains are slow and not creative. Ching is a typical Chinese girl who works for her father's eating store which opens only in the night. Together with another lady friend while patronizing our dinner there, we noticed Ching looked prettier and sexier than before. She wasn't wearing her thick glasses, she had highlighted her well trimmed hair and her simple clothing was presentable.

As she was serving our table, i smiled to tell her that she was beautiful and gorgeous. With a shy gesture, she said, "No lah! Where got! I am not pretty lah!" I was certain by looking at her eyes, she was actually very happy hearing this compliment. Just that she didn't know how to receive my admiration.

Next! I asked her whether she knows how to play football. Quickly she remarked, "Where got time lah!" The lady friend sitting besides me was laughing, because she was sharp to understand the implication of playing football.

Staring at the confused Ching, i explained to her... you don't need to play football to understand the game, coz when someone passes a ball to you, you should receive the ball whole heartily. When we said you are pretty, we are actually passing a ball to you. You should accept the compliment without argument and hesitation. Receive the ball happily by saying 'Thank you' plus a sweet smile and that will make you more complete.

Ching is a pretty young innocent girl and sad no one taught her the right manner. Beauty without the brain might not be truly beautiful.

A short poem - "For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it" -- Ivan Panin

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Stranger


A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Kuala Lumpur town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to
him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... . . We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household!)

He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.'

And it gets worse every day.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010


Scenario :
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to impliment bullying prevention programs

Scenario :
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bull ant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2010- State Police, Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy .

This should be read by all intelligent people to show how stupid we have become!

Think about it!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Intelligence versus smart


Today i feel sad as one of my closed working associate has lost her composure. She could not control her temper and anger against her work. I thought she is my best student who should be able to manage her own emotion. I have been teaching her wisdom of life for quite some time. And yet she failed.

Just a reminder to her and all my readers. There are two types of people, one who uses her intelligence to work and the other one applies smartness. Intelligent people have super brain, they could be high earner or achiever, and their expectation in life and work is always high. Employer, director or professional who applies intelligence on their work, could be demanding, forceful, dictatorial and aggressive. They expect result, not knowing those who work under them might not be as intelligence as them. If the employees are as intelligence as the boss, they would have been a boss as well too. Right? The earning of the boss compares with those working under her is a vast different. Being intelligent when they could not get immediate result from their staffs or perhaps the staffs could have made unintentional mistakes, eventually create misunderstanding and argument between boss and workers. Intelligent people get angry fast, tend to be arrogance and easily be frustrated. Are you my dear? I am sure you are reading my blog.

On the hand, people who work with smartness tend to be more calm, relax and understanding. Whatever they have learned with their basic intelligence, they apply them smartly on their day to day affairs. They understand not everyone is perfect in this world, they are aware most working people are not as smart as them. Instead of being the demanding type, they use encouragement and inspiration to assist their staffs to deliver their assignments. There is no forceful word but rather words are pleasant to listen and to follow. They aren't dictator to their working force, they treat their staffs like brothers and sisters. Nothing could be perfect. In case mistakes and errors do happen, they would take them as a learning lesson. After all, is only through mistakes that we learn in life. Smart people seldom get angry but rather they laugh and smile when someone tries to irritate them. Smart bosses are always the humourous and the fun type, when everyone enjoys working with them. No smart people would take anger and frustation home. They solve the problems immediately. And they would forgive and forget to those who have caused the problems while working.

I hope she would be smarter and wiser than her intelligence. Otherwise the loser could still be hers when her heartaches and the mind trembles. This is what i call the understanding of wisdom my dear.

Specially to the disturbed lady - "A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them" - John C. Maxwell

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Is the educational degree important?


Lately i seemed to be involving in some counselling free services to few young people who are under stress. A concerned mother called to seek my advices regarding her daughter and her boyfriend's future. Both these couples are 26 of age, who had returned from Britain a year back, studying together and qualifying with a specialised degree.

Ying is the pretty lady and Ng is the handsome gentleman. They both look intelligence to me, and in all ways they are compatible to each other. The lady has a stronger character and a bit emotional but luckily the boyfriend who is more gentle in words, helps to soften his lady. However both are not happy currently because they could not get job which is relevance to their qualification. Ying feels extremely bad because her parents had financially supported heavily on her while she was studying abroad. Though she is back home, her skill is unwanted here. Ng has taken an educational loan, and he is also very worried on how to repay his debts.

Due to their worrisome and fear, they get upset and agitated quite easily. Sometimes unconsciously and unintentionally, both these young people could argue and quarrel with their parents. Parents are not happy because they aren't working and they are frustrated because nobody wants to engage them.

After listening and trying to understand their problems and feelings, i drew to this conclusion; "An unhappy heart sees an ugly world." With their current negative mood and emotion, non of them would be able to think clear, or to speak gentle and sweet.

My personal advices to these two young friends, drop your qualification status. After all education is merely to seek knowledge with your intelligence, but you have to be smart to apply what you have learned. With their magnificent personality and the ability to speak well, there are many unspecific jobs which are always available in the market. I believe the most well paid job is to the one who could speak and express confidently, look smart and has a pleasant manner.

Look at me, i have got no degree, barely made it with a basic education, much much older than all of you but my market value is almost priceless. Today i can consider myself as a teacher, counsellor, platform speaker, motivator, preacher, half doctor, fate healer, writer, blogger and a demn good salesperson. What is my qualification... my sincere heart.

Hi Ying & Ng, once you have a happy heart, you would see everything beautiful. The way you think is definitely more assuring and positive, the words you use becomes more acceptable and nice to hear. Then magic will happen when everyone just loves to employ you. My final offer to you both...please call me when you need help and advice. I am just one call away from you.

To these new found friends... "Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out" - Robert Collier.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Lust & Greed.


This was the recent headline on our local news... "200 cheated of RM10mil by foreigners claiming to be college boys." At least 200 people in the city have been conned of nearly RM10mil since early last year by foreigners who entered the country on student visas, but never once stepped into a classroom.

I was not spared either. Few days ago, i received an email from a lady claiming to be single and available. Out of curiosity, i replied her (could be a man) to say that i am a 73 years old man but with four wives. Asking her whether she is still interested in me. Two days later she wrote quite a lengthy letter to introduce herself as a half Malaysian and half a British. Her father was from Malaysia and her mum is a white lady. She has never stayed in Malaysia before because she was brought up by her mother in London. She is a divorcee without any children, aged 36 years young. She intends to look for a sincere Malaysian whom she could visit and have relationship. With a naughty thought, i wrote to her again. Telling her my four wives have deserted me because i am financially broke and non of my children love and care for me. Are you still interested in me?

Surprise and more surprises! She wrote me this fantastic mail which i like to share to all my readers. Her letter..."I'm so happy that i finally meet a nice Malaysia person but how come you dont communicate with me anymore?, you capture my every thought, i want to have your pictures on my laptop, if you dont mind to send me more pictures of you to my email, i will be more than happy to get them, you are a sweet person and its rare. One thing you should know more about me is that I am a very honest and modest, hope you like that, i do not even speak little of Malaysia language, oh so bad, hope you will teach me? I will be on my computer waitin to read again from you, your sweet words and assuring too, thank you so much...am so glad i met you...take care now...Please I want you to help me look for a very nice house with swimming pool and a lawn tennis court in a very nice location because I will like to buy a house. Also I want to know about good business that I can invest in there in Malaysia or you can tell me about your job and let me see if i can invest in it. Would be nice if you call me on my cell phone; +447xxxxxxxxx."

Plus she attached her lovely sexy photos to tempt me. Sorry not good to show her photos. Believe me, any younger men might fall for her pictures. By reading her contents, i know she isn't a British. Nevertheless she used sweet words and money to draw my attention. One thing i learned in my early life, "good things don't come easy."

To all my fellow Malaysian, please be careful with all these tricks and fancies. The best way to avoid being cheated is not to be greedy in life.

A friendly advice - "Lust and greed are more gullible than innocence" - Mason Cooley

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

An eyeful a day keeps doctor away!


They said an apple a day, would chase the doctor away. And now an eyeful a day, keeps the doctor away. Hi reader! Do you think Dr Karen Weatherby's remarks are true?

Some comments from my friends....
"I definitely like to look at women's bodies, BUT my life may get shorter instead as I may be very scared and worried with my heart pumping faster and bad hormones being created due to fear and worry that my wife would "kill" me if she knows that I am always looking at other women......."

"So gurlz …if you love ur boyfriend or husband & friends around you………… Pls allow us!!!"

"Sweetheart...pls allow me to look at your breast as often as possible...ok?"

For me! Oh! I love gazing big attractive breasts. They make me excited and that's why i am healthy as ever.

Have a laugh please - "A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become" ~ Anita Wise

Monday, August 16, 2010

Fatherly advices to my friends children.


What types of children you like to have? The well behaved but soft and tender or the unmanner one but tough and out going. All parents want their children to be successful for sure.

This week i have two assignments. A mother is worried over her son who is too good a child. Ivon is in the mid twenties, an animal lover who is in his pet business. He is kind, gentle and humble, all friends would confirm he is a well behaved boy. I like speaking with him, because he has patience and tolerance in respecting the elders. However his mother claimed that Ivon is too soft, when many people might be taking advantages on him. Furthermore she finds it difficult to teach her grown up son now. She knows the son is very closed to me. Over the recent telephone call, she requested a favour from me, to guide and enlighten her boy. Her last message, "Teach my son to be a bit naughty, i mean good naughtiness like you."

The second assignment is a father who is having concern over his son. Lmi is about the same age like Ivon, who has just returned from London. Lmi was supposed to be studying abroad but due to outside influence, he failed to concentrate on his studies. Though he is an Asian, he thinks and clothed like a Westerner, a personality which the father didn't like. Due to his stubbornness, the unhappy dad insisted the child to return home. Although many of his family members might not like Lmi's character, me and Lmi gets along like good buddies. We speak from the heart and i know Lmi is a very talented and creative young man. His father sent me this message, "Please motivate my son."

Looks like i am going to be the parent to Ivon and Lmi, a task i love doing. The past experiences of me parenting my children, might be useful to them. My only advice to these parents are, treat your children more like a friend and you would win their heart.

Food for thought - "It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself" ~ Joyce Maynard

Sunday, August 15, 2010

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY!!!


ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 --- CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at
her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' .... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Put on a smile, we deserve it! haha.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Why some men have dogs and not wives



1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.











2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.












3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.



4. A dog's parents never visit.



5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.













6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.


7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..






8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.









9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"


10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.




11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.





12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Photo of the Year.

I was so touched by this photo, which won The Photo of the Year. I wonder how many women in this world have the heart of this Bishnoi mother. And The Bishnois are a community of nature worshippers in the state of Rajasthan, India. I am sure the rich and the knowledgeable one, might find it difficult to breastfeed another live who doesn't belong to them. More so is an animal, a young fawn and not a baby of our kind. Perhaps a simple woman, poor, uneducated but full of spiritual love might have it. It is so that when we became richer and more knowledgeable in person, would we loose our giving heart to nature. So sad! I rather not crazy to be wealthy and to forget my purposes of life... To help those who need me.

Food for thought - "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal" - Albert Pike

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Art of Human Relations.


CP and LeeF are good friends but lately both tend to be at loggerhead. I know both these two great ladies. They are intelligence, attractive and are very capable business entrepreneurs. Because of their high ego and self pride, they are sensitive to unnecessary issues and matters. Over reacting, they became arrogance and angry with each others. On confrontation over their telephone calls they spoke with hatreds, neither one refused to give way.

I had a recent conversation with CP who related this sad episode to me. Since both these charming ladies are my friends, i suggested a way out to CP who listened attentively to my wisely advices.

When two hard rocks are hitting towards each other, either one or both might break into pieces. In order to avoid such impact, one rock has to be converted into water which would cushion the force of the hitting rock. Meaning 'hard' and 'hard' is painful, whereas 'hard' and 'soft' is painless. Let LeeP be the hard rock, and i advised CP to be the softer person. If CP is prepared to soften herself while speaking with LeeP, she would turn to be the actual winner who eventually be able to control LeeP instead.

On the nite when CP met LeeP again, she let her friend spoke her mind. She didn't challenge or excused her previous wrongs, neither she raised her angry voice but spoke gently and kept asking the friend to forgive her mistakes. There were no arrogance, temper and shout heard in this meeting. They drank with joy and laughed through the heart. Before they departed, they both hugged like kids again.

While driving home after this gathering, CP was smiling to herself because she felt the pride of winning her friend back. Yes! She had given way as a loser at first but the actual winner was still herself who was wise and smart to understand the Art of Human Relationship. And for me..Yes I am equally happy for both of them because Happiness is to see others happier.

Specially for CP & LeeP -
A Short Course in Human Relations
The 6 most important words: I admit I was wrong.
The 5 most important words: You did a great job.
The 4 most important words: What do you think?
The 3 most important words: Could you please.
The 2 most important words: Thank you!
The most important word: We.
The least important word: I."
Author Unknown

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The funny side of text messaging.


Do you know writing on blog is different from writing on text messages through our mobile phone? The right word to spell OK is Okay but on SMS in short is K. The original four letter alphabet has reduced to just one, 'K'. Ten years ago, i was at lost, wondering what that K means. Today, i have to catch on with these yuppies to understand their languages.

How are you? Should be written as How r u? Mrn is morning, Thnx is thank you, Btw is by the way, Otw is Otherwise, Xcld is cancelled, Xnot is cannot, Roger2 is noted, Brb is be right back, Pixs is pictures and Bole or Boleh is can. Recently i received two sensational words...The first one is Wokey. Know what?? It means Very2 Good. The second is Tooker... please guess!!! I can't believe it... It means Make Love.

So if someone sends you this message..."Btw ur tooker is wokey." You should reply "Roger2."

To my readers.. in case if my spelling on my blog is bad, please forgive my mistakes because the SMS has overruled my thought. Or perhaps if there are some aggresive younger yuppies out there who would like to share some of your keywords, your contribution would be most appreciated. Coz i am here to learn from the younger world.

Food for thought - "We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open" --Jawaharial Nehru

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The power of a pen.


Selling tips..

Most life insurance agents are very well dressed and groomed from top to bottom, spending much to look presentable and marketable on all sales calls. They don't even mind to invest heavily on expensive cars to capture the attention from their prospects and clients. Their watches, rings, handbags, shoes, clothing and laptops could cost a lot of money too. However most of them fail to notice their pens they used.

A pen might be a simple device to write but there are many types of pen available in the market. A ballpoint pen could be as cheap as a dollar or it might even cost a few hundred to a thousand, depending the brands and the quality of them. A good quality pen signifies strength, status, position, professionalism, knowledge, power, personality and commitment.

Whenever i conduct sales presentation, i always carried two pens with me. Both are good quality pens, 'Parker Pen' which are with me for more than twenty over years. One was given by a wise man who said this pen would give me luck. It is a fully gold plated ballpoint pen, though is 20 years old but is still shinning as new. I used this Parker Ballpoint to present and illustrate my sales. I never used my fingers to present sales to my clients because i think it's offensive and might be unpleasant to look at. The glittering of the Gold strikes the attention of my onlookers. On signing the proposals i have another Parker rollerball pen of heavy duty to let my clients to hold. This pen allows the clients to feel the sense of pride because they are about to commit to a full responsibility of insuring themselves. These two pens have helped me to win all my clients till today. I really cannot live without them.

Sometimes i wonder, if one could spend so much on putting all those expensive attires but unwilling to spend on one presentable pen. I can't imagine asking a client to sign with a one dollar ballpoint pen on his million dollars insurance. I hope this simple selling tip could enlighten all my fellow colleagues in the industry.

You have to believe this - Bulwer-Lytton: Quotes: "The pen is mightier than the sword."

Monday, August 09, 2010

Penang Hawkers In The 30's










These are memories, which many haven't seen, including myself too. I like to share them with all my readers. Specially for Hasty who at this moment of time, isn't happy with her past. She could not forget and forgive her past mistakes. I told her, "Mistakes are our teachers." Without our past, there won't be a beautiful today. If you are in Penang now, it offers you plenty to see and so much to eat. Right Hasty?

For this unhappy lady - "One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past" & "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Think Before You Speak


Think before you speak...
Here are three reasons why you should think before you speak -

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
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We all say things we don't really mean, So think before you speak!!!!

Saturday, August 07, 2010

108-year-old Wook weaves ‘magic’ to keep younger hubby


The world thought only older men like younger women. Not exactly true! Please read on the following news from our local media and it will amaze you totally.

This article is from The Star Online (http://thestar.com.my)
URL: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/8/2/nation/6775886&sec=nation
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KUALA TERENGGANU: What is the secret that allows a woman who is 70 years older than her husband to keep her man happy?

In the case of 108-year-old Wook Kundor it is her “killer massage” that she learned from her ancestors.

The traditional massage is what is keeping her 23rd husband Mohd Noor Che Musa, 38, glued to her side.

“I will massage him when he starts to talk about younger women. This will dissuade him from thinking about them,” she said when met at her house in Kampung Bukit Tok Bat in Kuala Berang yesterday.

Asked the technique of the massage, Wook refused to share her secret, but said the focal point of the massage was to concentrate on rubbing the sensitive parts of the body.

She said it was the same massage that she used to keep all her previous 22 husbands remain true to her until their death.

Wook also revealed that one of the golden rules in the traditional massage was to first effleurage (stroking movement in massage) the masseur before doing the same on the partner.

“It will usually take about an hour to complete the massage that will totally relax your partner. This will create a closer bond between husband and wife,” she said.

Apart from giving her husband regular massage, Wook also keeps him happy by cooking him delicious food.

She also avoids nagging her husband as she believes hen-pecking could lead to cracks in a marriage.

“I hear a lot of stories from my neighbours about wives who nag at their husbands. Nagging is bad for a marriage as men generally hate it,” she said.

Wook also said that she always made it a point to keep herself clean at all times and never failed to perform her daily prayers as that also helped to strengthen a marriage.

Asked how she was coping after Mohd Noor was released from Besut drug rehabilitation centre following 18 months of treatment, Wook said they were happier except for some financial constraints.

She said many people who had promised to secure employment for Mohd Noor after he was released had reneged on their words.

“But I told my husband not to give up and to keep looking. I fear that if he is not working, he will revert to hisdrug habit,” she said.

Mohd Noor was detained for drug abuse early last year.

The union between Wook and her much younger bridegroom five years ago grabbed worldwide media attention.
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So! Read to believe my world. For the older ladies who are single, don't leave out, have the courage to seek for your mate again. Life without LOVE is meaningless.

To those lonely souls -"It is never too late to fall in love." - Anonymous

Friday, August 06, 2010

Earning your Trust in selling.



Selling Tips..

I was at Taha's office yesterday preparing my annual insurance review with him. Most of my clients like my regular financial reviews with them, when i could advise and suggest any necessary adjustment on their plans.

Before i started my review, Taha told me there was a recent sales call from an agent representing my company, wanting to explain and to market a new range of insurance product to him. I believe was another new agent trying to prospect Taha who holds a senior managerial position in a reputable company in town.

Taha confidently told the agent, all his insurances are handled by Mr Robert Foo and he is the only agent he trusts in the industry. Should there be some new products, he strongly believes Robert would know what is best for him and his family. He only listens my recommendation.

Those statements really made my day. I was speechless and honoured. I felt great and was appreciated. I am sure that agent who called him, knew it was almost impossible to reach his prospect who is so satisfied with his servicing agent.

To my fellow colleagues who aspire this challenging career, and who intend to stay successful in our business, you have to be sincere and honest with your clients. Sincerity and honesty cannot be taught or trained but rather is from the heart. You might be an intelligent agent but without sincerity and honesty, the life long journey in selling might be tough. Taha has been my client since 1991. We have had gone through the good and the difficult path of life. I had seen him fall, when i assisted and inspired him to rise. Definitely he is a smart person who could sense the character and value of my personality. Obviously these twenty eight years of full commitment in my career, has earned the trust and creditability from my faithful clients.

For that agent who could not approach Taha, please don't be rejected and feel bad over the outcome. You hadn't failed but rather you are learning from this mistake. Coz mistakes are always our teachers in life. Just be patience and have perseverance, and it's a matter of time you would master The Art of Selling.

My strongest belief - “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved” - George MacDonald quotes

Thursday, August 05, 2010

How to employ a honest & sincere staff?


Is not easy to get a good staff to work for you, neither is it easy to get an understanding boss too. Not me! I have a secretary who has been working for me for the past 18 years. She is my dear Hafizah, she calls me darling boss and i address her dear.

18 years ago when my previous girl left me, i requested some friends to recommend a staff for me. I told them, i only need a simple lady who could work with me as long as i live. Beauty wasn't important, qualification wasn't necessary as long as she writes and could speak reasonable well, neither did i need an intelligent brain but she has to be honest and sincere. The best way to get an honest and sincere person was to engage one who is religiously inclined.

On the first day when Hafizah came to my office, she was fully clothed with black from top to bottom. She had the typical Islamic personality look. Those days not many International Companies would take staffs who had no colour on their dressing. Black resembles faithfulness and spiritual. Without asking much from her, i immediately employed her happily because a religious person has to be honest and sincere. She is answerable to God all the time and i felt safe to be working along with her. True enough, my dear has been with me for the past good 18 years. Though i hardly go into the office all the time, i know she would be diligently working alone there.

She might not be so smart at the beginning but i taught her the knowledge and skill as we worked along. Her dressing might be a bit dull those day but with some encouragement, she added colour and fashion to her present look. Thanks God! Her strong spiritual belief offers her the right attitude in character. Honesty and faithfulness are the main factors that kept her with me for these many years. Thank you my dear Hafizah. Thank you for working with me.

Yes! Don't forget she is also lucky to be working with a fun and a most understanding darling boss too. Right? We need both hands to clap together.

Food for thought - “Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself” - William Shakespeare quotes

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

The Beginning Of Logic

Raheleh is one of my great lady friend. She is talented, attractive and full of laughter all the time. Each time i visited her office, she and all her female colleagues love talking with me. One day Raheleh asked me, what type of friendship glue and charm do i have that makes all ladies admire and adore my presence. That was a good question! I told her, i am only a simple man who has a genuine heart, full of sincerity, patience, humble, kind, fun, humorous and plenty of wisdom to share.

She said i am different because most men still practise the old fashion way. I really didn't understand what she was saying, until yesterday she sent me this cartoon which demonstrated the meaning of her thought. The Chinese proverb says.."One picture is better than a thousand words.

Raheleh...I know you're smiling! And i hope everyone is also smiling too with your cartoon.