I had a keen lady reader from India who forwarded some interesting questions. She wanted me to write on this subject and to enlighten her. I wish to open to everyone, who might be able to contribute as well.
These are the exact following contents she wrote. Among us, there will be many of them, who are having some other affairs other than their girl friends/ boy friends, wives/ husbands.
So far in my concern, those relationships can be like these:
A) Relation of a "married man" with an "unmarried woman" or "married woman",
B) Relation of a "married woman" with an "unmarried man" or "married man",
c) Relation of an "unmarried person" with another one (opposite sex), even though he/she continuing a healthy relation with someone else.
These type of relations, quite often lead to physical (hope everyone could understand). So can any one tells, how far these types of relation are healthy.
a) Towards the bondings of the previous relations,
b) Even though it is not merely a physical, but also a very deep love towards the other one (from new relation),
c) Is it suitable to disclose a relation like this to the society (means family or other partner) (seeing the circumstances of Indian society),
d) If someone wants to continue a relation like this till the end ( here end means, end of life), is it a right decision or wrong?
Wooh!!! She had much to ask. I might have a little wisdom of life and gone through some mistakes, including love mistakes. But that doesn't mean I am an expert in love and romance. Nevertheless I will say a few words to this admirable female friend.
I always believe love has energy but it got to be true love from the heart and mind. The force from them create impact beyond imagination. No true love could work just with the mind coz mind alone isn't pure in thought. From the heart and mind, the love is more sincere and sweeter. If one party is pure and the other isn't, I am sure they will not gain the power of love. With the five senses created for mankind; sight, smell, taste, touch and hear, they should allow each man and woman to seek their rightful love. Plus if the couple concern is connected with true love, then it is a matter of time, they will witness the miracle of happening. I advise my friend there in India, "only the brave and the courage survives." In love, one has to be brave. Brave to approach and courageous to accept. Immaterial of what nationalities and races you are, our present world is for you to live for yourself and not to live for the sake of showing to others. The rest she has to decide herself. What about you, my readers?
Food for the thought - "The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart."
Hello there,
ReplyDeleteComing from a liberal perspective of mind, I think it is okay to choose your extramarital affair over "the one" that you have chosen on your wedding. Just because you are already married to someone else, that does not necessarily mean that s/he is the right one. After all, love is fickle, love is difficult. It can come at the most inconvenient time. No matter how Indian society may look down on affairs, it--after all--is the individual's decision. The society doesn't live for the individual nor does the individual has to live for the society. Life is too short to give up something that can change your life forever; which is love. In life, there will always be people who won't acknowledge or approve your thoughts and actions. But, so what? Will these people be in your life forever? Certainly not. You will have to face small to big obstacles. I like to believe that everyone has to take some kind of a risk in life. To not risk is to remain unchanged.
However, one must be careful when making a big decision like this. I observed that people who choose their extramarital relationship tend to run into a big problem--lust. Lust is a dangerous trap, for it disguises itself as love at first. Lust lures, lust traps. They think they're in love, but in fact, they're hypnotized by lust. I would advise this lady to ask herself if her relationship will endure obstacles in life. If this lady's relationship with her man is built on a strong foundation of love, the judgmental society and its people will not matter. They will conquer all. If, however, their relationship is built on lust, it is doomed to fall apart. It won't endure.
Love is brave. Love is enduring. Courage; that is true love.
Hi J. Oiseau....
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments, beautifully written, down to earth, straight & direct and certainly with a lot of truth and wisdom. I am sure the lady will gain the insight of them. Thank for reading my blog too.
Hi Young Man !
ReplyDeleteI would like to share with our friend. With the relationship problem she raised, I noticed that she is aware of the social stigma,
sufferings & miseries, and a little confused at the situation she is in.
People rarely live up to a hundred years of age, yet they carry with
them the worries of a thousand years. People have created for themselves thousands and tens of
thousands of attachments and worries.
Like circles within circles and layers upon layers, these attachments & worries have firmly
plug in their minds; so tightly plugged that one is nearly suffocated; so densely blocked that it becomes indissoluble.
Their purpose in life have been totally sunk into a loss, and an illusion of the past, the present & the future. No time is ever spared to seek the real meaning of life.
Hence, greed, anger, ignorance and desires come into being and the endless floating and sinking of births & deaths come into being.
God helps those who helps themselves. It is good for our
friend to have faith in God and
study or refer to any Holy Books
which will lead you from darkness
into light. Your wisdom will develop and you can create your own destiny.
Meanwhile, have self-confidence, faith in God & devote your love to everyone instead of to one person, then you will be happy!
I hope my contribution can make you
feel comfortable.
Be Brave, Be Happy & Be Wise!
Young Kat
Hi Young Kat...
ReplyDeleteI am sure my friend will listen to your words of wisdom. May the divine force be with you. Thanks again.
Dear Mr Heart to Heart Talk,
ReplyDeletehmmm let me illustrate this topic like having a handphone, the one phone that we already use is comfortable, we get use to it,with the eyes closed we can just move the fingers to the buttons...as the world go crazy with new technology...our lives becomes more of a demand to be robust...how we wish we could have a phone that do this do that etc...
End of the day we bought a new phone,more to our needs more robust...takes time to get use to it but with frequent usage and trials...we may manage to get use to it.
But then we still need the old phone since all the phone list are there...the important dates are stored there..and it seems endless to transfer it to the new phone...
So new things are interesting, if we commit to it..we may manage...so as to relationships...it depends!!!!
regards,
Red Lavender
Hi Red Lavender...
ReplyDeleteIs a very creative explanation and usually creative person is romantic too. Thank you so much.