Good verses bad.

Last Saturday I had a chance to meet up with Helmi who was celebrating his 24th birthday. A talented self employed young man who specialist in art and design. Over a discussion this interesting question was forwarded to me..."If God gave you a choice to experience the extreme good and the extreme bad, which would you pick?" Mmmmmm!!!!

I was accompanied by another attractive intelligent lady partner then. Without hesitation, I offered the attending lady to answer this unexpected question first. My partner said she would rather go along with the extreme good, select those which are useful and practical, and make the best out of them to help others.

This was my personal comment. I would pick the extreme bad first and later try the good. Without experiencing the bad part of life, I will never be able to understand and appreciate the goodness of what I have. To understand life is to know what is bad and good. A capable person is one who has gone through life with pain and suffering. When later he has to the goodness of himself, he knows how to keep and value them.

Helmi was amazed by complimented me with a 'five' for my favorable answer. He felt I was talking the same wave length with him. At his age, he had almost tried everything from sex to drugs, which all adults claimed are sinful and horrible in nature. However with his intelligence and smartness, he never got hooked up with any bad habits. Today this young man speaks more wiser than most of his peers. His friends are working for someone, whereas he works for himself. He is totally different because he darns to venture the both world of darkness and brightness. Though his parents might be concerned over him, I am sure he would make his parents proud given time.

Food for thought - "You must scale the mountain if you would view the plain" - Chinese Proverb

Success is a balanced life

Are you too focus on your career, work or business? Be aware, life is not just only work, work and work. Especially those of my fellow industry colleagues who are so carried away with selling of life insurance. The company and their agencies kept promoting and motivating their people to sell endlessly without knowing that work as a certain limit. In anything we do, there must be a limit...too much or too little is not good.

I have been affiliated with the Million Dollars Round Table for twenty seven years. The International Organisation has taught me to live by the Whole Person Concept or a balanced life in order to achieve a fulfilling live. It started thirty years ago, when The MDRT realized that there were many broken and unhappy marriages to the successful life insurance agents. Meaning, they were making good money in selling but at the expense of their personal and family lives. Success isn't in career alone, more so if one is selling family security and protection, the agent has to be a rounded person. An unhappy agent with a broken marriage doesn't reflex true success. Finally The MDRT developed an effective way to work and live, The Whole Person Concept was established for all aspiring agents.

The Whole Person Concept is a rounded wheel of life with seven spokes to determine the living styles of a person. The seven spokes are; 1. Career 2. Family 3. Health 4. Friends 5. Community 6. Financial & 7. Spiritual. If one is to focus only in career and neglecting the rest of the six spokes, his wheel of life will not be rounded. Not a rounded wheel will not move smoothly and evenly. Under such circumstance, the unbalanced wheel of life will fall in a matter of time. After all everyone is given 24 hrs a day, one has to manage his time accordingly to achieve the best out of the seven aspects of living. One could be considered as truly a successful person, if the seven ways of life are reached effectively. I sincerely hope all companies and their agencies would promote a balanced live to their working staffs, rather than just gaining sales and profits without bothering the welfare of the people.

Warren Buffett's definition of success - "You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong."

Passion, Belief & Love.

I received an email from one reader, Cheng.....

Hi Robert, accidentally I found ur blog n interested with ur experiences and wisdom.I m one year experience as the full time insurance agent but the result is part time insurance agent. I would like to seek for your advises or enlightenment for me to break thru in this career.Within these 15 mths in this career, I found that I cant break thru myself with working alone. I feel that my wisdom is more than my action. How to break thru /convert my strength into the action for the consistency performance? I believe in the insurance biz need the consistency but not the shooting star performance. Hopefully you may advise and enlighten me with your wisdom. TQ.

The three main key factors to sell successfully in life insurance are Passion, Belief and Love. Passion...have the desire to meet people, to listen and to understand them. Listening and understanding require plenty of patience and tolerance. After listening, you have to understand to provide all the necessary of what have listened. Listening is an art when others are confidence to speak the heart with you. Understanding is a skill when you could see what is life. Unless you have the passion to see people and are prepared to assist unconditionally, selling life insurance permanently might be tough. Can you see the lady who plays the violin with passion?

Belief...to believe life insurance as a religion or a miracle product which could benefit the needed. To preach with strong faith that our product offers the peace of mind to all families. Believe you are providing food, shelters, education and security to the world. Take yourself as a preacher and not a salesperson.

Love has magical force and energy. It could be created only if you know how to love others willingly with good intention. Be the best friends to those you know, and make sure you have your family support. No man or woman could live alone. Have an intimate love who could inspire and motivate you all the time.

Cheng, the above might sound simple but believe me...they work!

Food for thought - "If you have a passion, then you have something to contribute" — Catherine Muther

Did I Marry the Right Person

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Expensive woman.

Aristotle Onassis, the Greek Shipping magnate of the 20th century who declared this statement; "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning". I sms'ed this quote to few of my friends to see whether they agreed.

A retired Captain replied, "Agreed. A lot of money have been spent on women and they spent a lot of money too". Another naughty sales agent said,"True but money can't buy love. However money can create opportunity to make women happier with men". A bookshop distributor responded, "More than true brother, I agree". One caught me by surprise, a spiritual leader said,"Hi! Bro but why? You mean all the money is for them to spend? May as well give to charity!" Either he did not catch the statement or he doesn't like women. From a single mother, "I think so! Can't think without coffee. Aiyoh! Without your presence how to think?" A cheeky lady who has a European boyfriend replied," True sayang! Otherwise my love here will be the saddest man". Of all I like this remark from an intelligent lady..."If men didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning also...everybody will be very sad. Thank you for being The Real Man for your sweetheart... mmmmuuaaahhhh!!!"

Conclusion...without women, all men will have no incentive to live. With women, especially those we love, men tend to work harder and smarter for the purpose to flower their women with joy and admiration. Our world is so full of colour and excitement is because there is the existence of women.

I certainly agree with this phrase - "God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him".

Sex by appointment.

Mazuki is a client, turned good friend who always called on me for wisdom learning. Last few days over a cup of morning breakfast, when we met I noticed this young man did not look happy and cheerful. His voice lacked the enthusiasm and confidence. During our conversation, without him realising, he showed his temper and arrogance on me too. He was sad and frustrated because his business is failing and funding is extremely weak due to the current downturn.

I really can't blame him because life is always full of obstacles and problems. Is easy to sail over a calm sea but when the weather turns stormy, one has to learn to beat the strong wind against you. Otherwise obstacles and problems unchecked, would lead to stressfulness and tension. When you are stressful and frustrated, your thinking might be illogical and irrational. Your behaviour could be arrogance and unpleasant to those you communicate and interact. The best way to distress and release stress and tension is to have a good session of sex with the one you love.

After explaining the above matters to Mazuki, I asked him a personal question.."How often you make love with your wife and when was the last one? He said is getting lesser and the last one was on the Saturday night. I went further to ask..."Was it an impromptu session or a fixed appointment date and time between you and wife?" He was doubtful with that question! I explained; an impromptu sex is not a prearranged making, whereas by appointment is prefixed and agreed upon by them. The different between impromptu and by appointment are..the upper might not be fully prepared for the love making, one might be sleepy, or the other needs to sleep early because he/she might need to get up early tomorrow or either one isn't ready for the night. On the hand when appointment is fixed, a date that suits and convenient both, making sure both are fully geared for that exciting evening and preparing the necessary to have a good sex of the week. No effective business, sales, medical checkup, motor car services or holiday could be conducted without an appointment made. Once an appointment is granted, you rest assure the time and peace of mind are given...Including love making.

Mazuki is a healthy and normal growing man who needs an effective love making with his wife. However both currently are worried over their business and related matters, plus not having a satisfying sex, their stress levels remain extremely high at the moment. Perhaps if they attempt to change the mode from impromptu to appointment make, I am sure their sex making would definitely improve. The only way to prove my method is correct and ideal, why don't you, the one who is reading my blog now darn to try once and see. If it works to your sensational advantage, please don't forget to share your experiences in my comment's column. Ok?

Don't you think this is true here - "What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse." - Henry Miller

Love inspires.

I have a lucky friend who is always happy as ever because he has a most understanding and loving soul mate who knows how to impart her love energy to him. While he was still sleeping, she SMSed a meaningful message to her man. It was written.."Love is two minds without a single thought...love is like a colourful rainbow...love is you are in cloud 9...love is nutrients, water and oxygen... love is without speaking a word and you can feel, understand, touch, smell, taste and hear your soul mate all the time... Cool morning my love...wakey wakey!!!"

True enough! When he read these beautiful words in the early morning, he felt like he was in cloud 9. Without further ado, he replied her sweetheart...."Roses are red. Violet is blue. Sugar is sweet but not as sweet as you. I love you darling".

I have an American reader who said, "I don't know what a favorite cuisine is in Malaysia, but in America, we love pizza and there is a good old saying: "Sex is like pizza, even when it is bad, it is still good!" I shared with her this.."The English educated in Malaysia speaks alike, we like eating pizza too. The local here loves durian..king of fruits. Sex is like durian, the more it stinks, the more we eat. You must come over to try."

Anyway, love is not only sex alone but the benefits you derive from loving someone. The caring, affection, understanding, the giving or even a short message to the one you love, like the above. I am sure, my above friend and his sweetheart know how to build a strong bonding with each other. They inspire and motivate one another almost everyday, which are so most needed in our stressful and tiring life. To the one who is reading my blog now...are you happy and loving at the moment? If you are not...try sending an inspiring and affectionate message to the one you love and you will see some magic in them later.

I have learned some thoughts from Mother Teresa - "If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them".

Killer smile

Elis is a cute attractive lady agent. She wanted to learn the formula to effective selling of life insurance. I told her she already has, because she has a sweet smiling face which most people like to adore. What she has got to do is just smile when she sees someone! A smile is the love language which is accepted worldwide. Before she talks business, she needs to smile to make her prospects like her.

Smile comes in many ways. When you are unhappy with someone, you might throw a cunning smile. To capture the attention of men, smart ladies give romantic smile. If you have no guts to confess your love, a loving smile could depict the meaning of 'I love you'. Or perhaps if you are horny, a sexy smile signals your intention to have sex. A casual smile means to say 'hello'.

In business when you are meeting someone the first time, your smile has to be sincere and friendly. The smile has to be felt with confidence; reflecting the person as a successful, responsible, committed, caring, intelligence, smart, experience and wise. Though this smile could be a short gesture, the people around you could easily be drawn to your attention. It takes a long time to master this art of smiling. I call it the killer smile! All effective selling begins with a killer smile. For those who want to learn this skill, keep smiling in front of a mirror until you are satisfied with yourself. You would love it!

You have to believe this - "Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of every body's heart".

A genuine sale.

What is a genuine sale? One that totally benefits the one who buys. Most often, all sales are concluded with a bit of insincerity in the one who sells. The unprofessional salesperson sells his products with the mind of making and gaining profits out of his sales. Is fair that the person who sells has to make money out of his selling but just to benefit out of the transaction without the consideration of the buyers is definitely unethical and unreasonable.

I might not be well verse in other products but selling life insurance is in my blood. I really hate those inconsiderate and unprofessional agents who sell plans that they gain more in commission and incentives, rather than tailor programs which their clients might need. There are many insurance products and benefits which are created by the companies, which suit the individual according to their budgets and requirements. However the greedy agents and agency managers sell according to their wants and fancies. To make matter worst, they are being carried away by the constant promotions and incentives offered by the companies and their agencies.

Selling life insurance is a long term career which requires patience, sincerity, tolerance, honesty, integrity and fairness. If you are an agent who do not have these qualities, I think you should not be selling these products coz you are doing injustice to our societies and mankind. Selling life insurance is a rewarding career and without the purity of our heart and mind, you would not be able to stay long enough to see the rainbow of our business. I love my little darling and equally I love my career...selling life insurance till my last breath of my life.

Everyday I learn a little - "One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life" - E. M. Forster

Does he loves me?

A SYT was asking me..."How do I know whether my boyfriend truly and sincerely loves me?"

I think is quite simple. If he is crazily and madly in love with her, he should be brave to tell to the world. Does he holds your hand and arm, grips your hip, hugs you over and kisses you openly? If not...please test on him the next time he is with you. I believe all men who loves their women, are proud to show their partners to everyone, more so to their friends and relatives, including the female sides. If the man refuses to show up and is not prepared to be romantic while friends and relatives are around, you have to doubt his love over the lady. Either he is shy or he has own agenda for not letting others know he is the boyfriend.

The last heroic test on him. While eating or drinking, kiss to transfer some food or water from her mouth to his mouth. It might not be a very hygienic act but when one loves another person, nothing is unpleasant to them. If he again rejects such romantic play while dinning, I guess this is not a man for her.

This message is specially written for ladies but it applies vice verses as well.

Woody Allen said..."To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down".

Three R's

Some interesting facts I read through WALKTHE TALK.com ............

“The 3 R’s” of Business Ethics

Like to enhance your reputation as an ethical business person and team member? One of the best ways to do that is by focusing on – and mastering – “The 3 R’s”:

The first “R” of business ethics is RESPECT. It’s something that must be applied to people, organizational resources, and your environment. And it includes behaviors such as:
Treating everyone (customers, coworkers, vendors, etc.) with dignity and courtesy; Using company supplies, equipment, time, and money appropriately, efficiently, and for the business’ business only; Protecting and improving your work environment, and abiding by all rules and regulations that exist to protect our world and our way of life.

The second “R” of business ethics is RESPONSIBILITY – to your customers, your coworkers, your organization ... and to yourself. Included here are behaviors such as: Providing timely, high-quality goods and services;Working collaboratively and carrying your share of the load; Meeting all performance expectations and adding value to everything you’re involved with.

The third “R” of business ethics is RESULTS. More accurately, it’s right results – the kind where the how’s are equal in weight to the what’s ... where means to achieving ends are just as important as the ends themselves. Obviously, you’re expected to get results for your organization and for your customers. But you’re also expected to get those results legally and ethically. Allow yourself to lose sight of this, and you jeopardize your business and your career.

Never Enough.

Everyone likes money! Is 'too much' or 'too little' or 'don't have' or 'never enough' be the ideal amount for you? I think it depends on the individual. Before we solve this obstacle, we first have to relate them on another interesting subject.

How much sex is enough? Is too much sex good? I think so! Those who are highly a sex person is usually a risk taker, his/her life is colourful and creative in nature. However that particular person has to meet up with another compatible partner, in order to fulfill each other's needs. I have a highly sexual male friend who could ejaculate seven times a night. All his girlfriends disappeared from him. Leaving him a miserable person.

Those who have too little sex are the frustrating one. They are shy, timid and not prepared to open up. Physically, mentally and financially they are weak. Being not satisfied emotionally, they live an unhappy life...dying slowing and with partners singing the song.."Killing me softly!"

The one who 'don't have' sex is the most unhappiest person. Either you suppress or not to indulge in sex definitely makes one miserable. Lately one of my reader who told me, her lover had a tumour growth in his brain because he had suppressed and abstained from sex for too long a period, when he was a healthy normal man. Further more, those who don't have sex are usually not the motivated kind.

Ah! I like 'never enough' because each time after an interesting love making, I always felt it is never enough. Especially hearing this proclamation from little darling who said.."Sweetheart, lets do it again for it is never enough". 'Never enough' can spur one to work harder. Giving hope that there is another better time again. Allowing us to improve, experiment, explore and take challenges. Strange isn't it? But it works on us.

Food for the heart - "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all" - Samuel Butler.

Die with a smile.

Yesterday one of my male client passed away without a smile on his face. He was diagnosed of cancer four months ago, suffering in pain, until the sickness succumbed him. A typical man who did not know how to appreciate and enjoy life, except work and money, and hardly spent time with his two children. He was stingy, hot temper, arrogance and had no love for anyone. Since his wife died few years ago, his only son and daughter left him because they too could not tolerate the father's character. During the funeral, I had a chance to look at his face in his coffin, when I could see an unhappy face on him. I believe he was sad and sorrowful at his last moment of live, knowing his closest family members were not around to witness his death. Though he was dead, his facial tells a lot about his feeling and thought.

At the same time, I have another female friend who is suffering from cancer for the past three years. The last few months she was only on drips because the cancer has spread almost to all parts of her intestines. She vomits if solid food is taken. The severe pain and inconvenient are unbearable. She seeks her husband permission to let her die in peace, by taking away the drips from her. She is without water for the last three days and yet could still be living. She refuses to pass out because her only daughter from Europe is coming home to bid farewell to the mother. I believe she could survive at the moment, even though she is extremely weak and dying...is because LOVE is in her heart. She is holding her last breath to wait for her loving daughter to return. Although most of her inner organs have given way, I could see the lady still has the smile on her face. Her look is as pleasant as ever because love is in her heart.

I was lucky to have the chance to experience these two friends' suffering before they left this world. Nothing is permanent except death. One left with sadness and the other is happy to leave. When my turn comes, I promise to depart as happy as possible, making sure to die with a beautiful smile.

I like George Asaf's power phrase - "What's the use of worrying? It never was worth while, so pack up your troubles in your old knit bag, and smile, smile, smile".

Learn to be confidence.

I was having my breakfast when I noticed one small boy and his elder sister were peddling their sales in an opened restaurant. The boy could be seven and the girl was around twelve. Perhaps due to the current downturn, many people are trying to sell in every possible way to make the extra income. However these two young children really caught me by surprise!

The boy was approaching every table, selling his packet biscuits and the sister was standing besides him. He wasn't shy to ask..."want to buy a packet from me?" Sad for him as there was no buyer from the entire shop. Over hearing his voice I heard, "Sis! Why nobody buys?" The sister replied with encouragement, "Don't worry! Some will buy. Continue to ask". True enough, there was one who bought finally and I could see the joy in both the children.

Patience is the game. In selling, one needs plenty of it to last and to survive. To the boy, it could be fun and excitement but I am sure he would learn to be strong, independence and skillful in future selling. The sister might be just watching her brother, in fact she made a good effective motivator and inspirer. I was glad to see them because they reminded my past. I did what they had done. My early grounding in life had made me a stronger person who isn't afraid to seek the unknown and to meet strangers. Patience has given me the confidence and courage to sell successfully.

Food for the thought - "Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain" - Vivian Greene.

Tips on dating.

Selling is an art and getting to know ladies is a skill. The dressing of a prospect reflexes his personality and the way he talks reveals his character. Today, I learned something interesting from a frank interesting woman who shared the facts of romantic dating.

According to her, many romantic dates were unsuccessful because most males do not understand their ladies. When a girl is prepared to accept a man's dating, he stands a good chance to be nearer to her. She might not speak her heart but a smart man should know her body's language. Be observant the way she dresses prior to her dating with you. If she is a casual lady on normal day but on the outing with you, she dresses very attractively...be well informed...I am sure, she is definitely interested in you. Pay a bit of attention on the blouse she wears. If she has unbuttoned one or two buttons, she is telling you..."am I attractive to you?" If you are truly a nice gentleman, you should offer her your admiration...."my dear, you look gorgeous tonight".

Or perhaps she comes with a daring sexy and loose dress...she is telling you something. Do you know what? Some innocent men might not even know the hint and just let the night passes by. A brave man would romantically invite the lady to his arm and ends the night on the bed.

Yes! The way she dresses could tell you a lot of the lady. BUT! Be careful! In our hot humid country, Malaysia...most young girls love to dress loosely as well. So don't be caught in a wrong situation. I hope these little tips could be useful to those men who are still looking for their loves.

I like Melanie Griffith's statement - "There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart".

Have you found your love?

Something I learned while still growing up.....

When do you consider a girl to be your girlfriend? Ah! It depends! To a puppy love when you were a little boy, you had to ask that little girl to be your girlfriend directly. She could be shy but if she said 'yes', she became your special. Simple as that! You did not have to date her, neither you had to romance with her. Just treat her special by giving her the attention.

Came later when you were studying in the college, when you noticed another sexy and intelligent classmate. Out of the many friends, if you could request a date with her alone, you stood a better chance to woo her. With some effort and attempts, if she allowed you to hold her hand, you were already considered as a boyfriend to her.

Once you completed your education and were venturing into the working society, you met more interesting girls to arouse your attention. Equally those girls were smarter and wittier, they picked the best available man who could reach their loving heart. The one who could hug, kiss and finally bed with her....is considered to be the sweetheart.

Perhaps is not easy for me. Being a grand father in status, respected by the community, old to those who do not know me and yet have intention to find a new love in life. I can't be like the little boy who asked.."Can you be my girlfriend?" Neither can I hold a lady hand too fast to reveal by interest, for it may frighten her too soon. What more if I hug and kiss the lady! Most likely I would receive two tight slaps if I do.

I believe my only approach to convince that lady to be my special was to show her, I do understand the meaning of love deeper than most men she knew. Unless I could see her eyes that showed the joy, trust, confidence and love in me, I would not make the final move. Over a fine dinner with wine and music, I held her hand gently and said ..."I love you dear". If there was no objection, I would approach her with a tender kiss on her face. She might not say a word but her expression revealed the acceptance. Yes! I have found mine, have you found yours!

To my little darling - "Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you" Sang by Elvis Presley.

Speechless!!!

In the working world, an experienced worker works better than one who isn't. The knowledge and mistakes he picks along the way, makes him competence and efficient. The funny thing is when I asked my male friends this question..."You prefer an experienced girlfriend who has many past loves and romances or one that isn't?" All claimed they rather go for the one who is innocent, naive and simple.

In my mind, how could a simple girl who has never fallen in love before would understand the real facts of love and romance. I believe an ideal woman is one who has seen the good and bad part of lives. She has gone through the suffering with pain out from love. She realises her flaws and mistakes which she has encountered from her past relationships. Though the past could be bitter and unpleasant, she is prepared to change and improve. She makes an ideal lover to those who would appreciate and understand the real meaning of life. Not the one you see posted on top here.

I might disagree with this phrase - "A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man. CHARLES DICKENS

Simply irresistible!

A little joke which is simply irresistible not to share. From a darling who reminds me that such joke could happen to us one day....

Husband: Oh, come on.

Wife: Leave me alone!

Husband: It won't take long.

Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards..

Husband: I can't sleep without it.

Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Husband: Because I'm Hot.

Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.

Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Husband: You don't love me anymore.

Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Husband: Please...come on

Wife: Alright, I'll do it.

Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Wife: I can't find it. Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

Wife: There! Are you satisfied?

Husband: Oh, yes.

Wife: Is it up far enough?

Husband: ! Oh, that's good.

Wife: Now go to sleep, and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Now, what were you expecting?

Childhood memories.

Looking at the above photograph, I cannot imagine such young child could be playing with this toy...a flip phone. Today all children are pampered with all sort of toys and games. You name them and they would have them! Not my childhood days! We had to self make our own toys and games. I remembered we made our playing guns out from wood, our toy trains were actually empty cigarette packets, the blowing horns were made from leafs, we caught fighting fishes from the ponds, excitement from the killer spiders caught in the jungle, we learned our swimming from the unused tin mines and we move around with our bicycles all the time.

Yes! Those natural things we did as a child then, made us to be strong, independence and creative. We were never afraid to strive alone in the unknown, we explored and ventured to new discoveries, and survived with whatever we had. Sad to say, our children of today are deprived of what I had. Whether the past or the present was better is debatable..but I still prefer my past childhood which made me of what I am today.

One friendly advice to the parents, flip phones can cause very serious effects to the reproductive development of young children. Please keep them out of reach to children.

He spoke and wrote it - "There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in." - Deepak Chopra

What is happiness?

This is my favorite phrase...."The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are but on how happy others can be because of you". I believe the first person on planet earth, who applied this principle was no other than Adam. When Eve was created for him, he appeased her in every way. She was the only companion and a little different from him in feature. The more he made her happy, the more happier Adam was. In love and sex, I guessed Adam was also trying his level best to satisfy his only partner. In turn Eve gave her most intimate performance to her master who was totally over joyed. End result...the world explored with billion of people. And that is why, you and me are here now...I write and you read.

Happiness is to see others happy. Look at yourself...when you make love...were you trying to satisfy your partner or you prefer to stay aloof and just let your partner to satisfy you!! In all cases, when a couple is in love, they try to make each other happy when they make love. The beauty is...when you see your partner being so overly excited because of your effort and action, spontaneously you would also get delighted. This could be the basic application of happiness started from Adam & Eve. However the sorrowful part of life is...we only apply this procedure in sex making and not in other aspects of living. Most of the time, we tend to be selfish and reserve, forgetting that happiness is actually seeing others happy because of our action. The above is my personal perception only.

I salute to this statement - "Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace." - Albert Schweitzer

How skillful are you?

I had a chance to share an hour talk with two agencies today. I told them...to be successful in our challenging life insurance business...we have to be skillful in our doing.

I related this true incident to the class. Quite recently, while I was dinning with a sweetheart in a crowded food court, I saw a unique skillful beggar. He was in his late fifties, looked healthy to me, dressed poorly in black and his hair was totally white. He wasn't afraid to move from table to table to beg. I saluted his courage and guts, to approach strangers without the slightest fear in his face. Most salesperson would not darn to prospect in open areas but this old man seemed to be enjoying his moment of begging. He was smart to identify the right person who had the softer heart at various tables. Each time he approached a prospect, he touched his tender hand over their arms for attention. Upon seeing his prospective customers, he used his gesture of expression from his face...was like telling to them.."Please help an old man like me!" Not a single word was uttered. At the same time, he limped and lower himself with only one leg standing, both hands holding a begging bowl upwards to face his customers. He stood motionless until a dollar or few coins were given. Each time he was paid, he would reward his customers with a thumb's up sign...saying thank you.

I was watching and admiring his movement. His closing was seven against ten...a ratio better than selling. He is truly a professional beggar who knows his business well. You might take him as a beggar but in actual fact he is a sales person who sells sympathy. He survives because his skill is there. What about you?

You might learn, if you could understand this phrase - "The feeble tremble before opinion, the foolish defy it, the wise judge it, the skillful direct it. — Jeanne-Marie Roland (1754-1793).

Location & Time are key factors in selling.

One of my close associate was quite disheartened not closing a life insurance case, though the prospect was highly recommended by a good family friend. On listening to her story, I understand she had failed to fulfill the most important requirements on any sale discussion.

In a sale talk, the location and time are the main factors for a proper presentation. The agent together with her friends, met the prospect at a wet market place for the introduction. There were no table and chair to seat in comfort, the place was warm and smelly, and the environment was not suitable to exchange views and sharing. Although agent had all the time for the prospect, he was quite busy because he needed to travel at the later part of that evening. Agent managed to explain the insurance plan to prospect but he was not convinced and wanted more time to think. They concluded the meeting without the sale signed.

If I were the agent, under such circumstances and environment, I would have just introduced myself as a friend to the prospect first. I will never put forward the plan to him on such unfriendly occasion but would just invite him for a cup of coffee nearby and market my potential to him instead.

Most agents missed many good cases by failing to understand these simple rules...location and time must be conducive for an effective selling. The harder one pushes a sale without considering these two main factors, the sale will be lost even more faster. Perhaps I learned these key factors when I was young...trying to win over girls whom I had the interest. I failed to ask for the first date from those girls because the location and time for asking were not appropriate and timely. I believe chasing girls and looking for sales are relatively the same. You need plenty of patience and understanding to overcome such obstacles in life. Believe it or not...is up to you!!!

He spoke the truth - "Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise, because of impatience we cannot return." - W. H. Auden

The wedding test!

Sunday Laugh....
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
And I had been dating for over a year, and so we
Decided to get married. There was only one
Little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful
Younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
Tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She
Would regularly bend down when she was near
Me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to
Be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was
Near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to
Come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
Alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
Had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
Overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once.
Before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if
You want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go
Up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned
And made a beeline straight to the front door. I
Opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing
Outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and
Said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
Little test. We couldn't ask for a better
Man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.

Food for thought - "If you can dream it, you can do it" - Walt Disney

The Benefits of Sex...

The BENEFITS of SEX.. Reading this is entertaining !!!

Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin ?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes hair shiny and soft.

2. To make love in soft and relaxed way reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine.

3. To make love allows to burn all the calories accumulate is this romantic love scene.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tonifies all body muscles. It is more enjoyabel than doing 20 lapses in the pool. And you don't need special shoes !

5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !

7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.

8. To kiss everyday allows to avoid the dentist. Kisses aid saliva in cleaning teeths and lower the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.

9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins.

10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma and spring allergies. This message was sent to you so that you have good chances in sexual relations.

You love me or not?

"Sweetheart...do you love me coz I am beautiful or I am beautiful coz you love me?"

I was scratching my head, pondering which should be the rightful answer for my little darling. She expected a prompt response from me! This was what I told her. I love her coz she is beautiful....she has the beauty of the heart where love resides. She is beautiful with intelligence and attractiveness. She is beautiful with kindness and affection. She is beautiful in every way I see her. Yes! I love her coz she is a beautiful lady.

The second part..as written "I am beautiful coz you love me" is meant for her to express. She felt beautifully in her heart and soul, coz she knows I truly love her with all sincerity.

I believe the above statement has two entire meanings and application. I might be wrong in my personal perception. Would appreciate, if someone out there who could be kind enough to offer some comments.

In whatever way..."The key to succeeding in a marriage or relationship isn't finding the right person: It's learning to love the person you found".

Always tell the truth.

Don't guess if you aren't sure! This was what I told my secretary, Fizah who has been working with me for sixteen good years. I called her to enquire some clients information at the office. Perhaps she was busy when she took my call, without the slightest thought she responded me with an answer. Though she is capable with her job with me, but being a working man for forty years experiences, I could also sense her uncertainty.

As my clients expect high degree of expectation from my career, I have to be a perfectionist on my work. Every request and question has to be correct and prompt. Otherwise clients might not be satisfied with me. Of course I have to depend on my supportive staffs and especially my secretary who is always be in my office. Therefore all questions I forward to them, have to be positive and reliable. Meaning.. her replies have to be honest and straight forward without doubts. If she hasn't got the answer, say "no"! Or if she is not certain, don't be afraid to say "not sure". The "no" or "not sure" are still an answer. By not saying them and instead offering a "yes" might cause further consequences which might lead to more unpleasantness later.

These three responses, "Yes, No or Unsure" can cause a lot of misery if they are meant not to be spoken. If you are unsure of a partner, please don't say "yes! I love you" or similarly if your heart has no sincere feeling for a soul mate, don't say "yes! I miss and need you". By twisting the no and unsure to a yes is actually cheating the other person. They can cause more harm than good. When I say..."Yes! Little darling I love you"...I meant every word of it. The end result is fantastic and delighting. In work or love, the three responses should be honest and frank.

Food for thought - "All people are ordinary; only those who realize it are extraordinary. G.K. Chesterton

Marriage match-making can last.

Last Sunday I attended Azeesur daughter's wedding, witnessing a marriage through match making. Yes! Match making might be a common practice decades ago but in Malaysia, it is still well accepted by our Indian Muslim community.

Azeesur daughter is a highly graded teacher with a MBA behind her. The bridegroom is a professional who is also well educated. She is 28 and he is a matured man of 32. Though the newly wedded couple have many friends, they let their parents to decide and choose their ideal life partners. Upon checking with this compatible couple, they strongly believe in tradition and culture. In spirit, they know their young mind and sight could be blind and corrupted. What they see might not be perfect because it's not easy to understand the heart. On the hand, they trust their parents who would know them better. As all parents love their children, they seldom fail to identify and select the most suitable man and woman for such occasion.

Although the bride and groom had not met before, except their parents, they looked so loving and sweet when I saw them on their wedding. Believe me! I have not seen any broken marriage by match making among these communities. They got marry as strangers first, later became friends and love blossom eventually. They have to be thankful to their understanding parents who know their needs. Whereas we got marry as lovers but gradually ended as strangers.

Food for thought - "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Nursing home sex!

A good friend shared this story with me....

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?' She asks, 'What?' 'Sex!!' he replies Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!' 'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.' Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of a bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?' Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'

Those who are facing the normal silent sorrow like Lai, should follow Harold's approach of solving his manhood. Smart and brave is he!

Food for thought - "The true test of manhood is not age or life experiences, but when you stop looking for solutions and become that of which you are looking for..." - Wilson J Washington III.

Silent sorrow

Lai is seventy nine years old. I have known him for more than 25 years as a stationery shop owner. His shop is currently managed by his children. While passing his place recently, I dropped by to visit him, after not seeing him for many years. He almost forgotten me when I stood in front of him but with a bit of time given, he was surprised I was there.

I would never forget Lai because he was a highly sexual man. In order to satisfy his sexual needs, he had to pay for special services rendered outside. He had been doing it for the past twenty years, ever since his typical Chinese wife who wasn't interested in love making. Out of curisity while having a cup of coffee with him, I wanted to know whether he was still good and active in sex at this age. As we are closed friends, he wasn't shy to reveal his present strength. According to him, his family refused to let him go out by himself alone. Currently he has no chance to visit brothels in town, or to have sex holiday in Thailand. All his buddies or good friends of the same kind and interest had passed away or sickly to be with him. His only entertainment is by masturbating himself alone, late in the night when his family is asleep. He could not tell them his needs, while his family is thinking the man is aging, old, unhealthy and not interested in life. But the fact is...he is still a highly sexual person who has strong erection everyday. He is actually suffering from silent sorrow, a problem that could not be told.

Before I left him, he asked a special favour from me...to accompany him for a sex trip abroad without telling his family. I was lost with words. A man who had worked hard through the years but have to end his life miserably without love and sex. I am sure there are many men who are like Lai...not able to raise their voice and respect but to suffer silently.

His children said his father is old and the wife claimed the husband is lazy. What about you the readers? How do you look at him?

Food for thought - "It is with sorrows, as with countries, each man has his own" ~ Francois August Rene de Chateaubriand.