Lovesick at 60.

I was introduced to Lai who desperately needed some advices and suggestion. He is exactly 60 of age and in very bad shape because of lovesick. Yes! I really mean lovesick, a sickness that could not be treated medically. He couldn't sleep, eat and conduct his daily business in trading. Over night his hair had turned grey and he looked exhausted and tired. Nobody knew about his personal problem. He could not tell to his family, neither could he seek a younger person's view and opinion. Those who are more senior, might be laughing at him or they themselves might not even know how to advise him. His insurance agent who is younger than him, brought this timid business man to see me personally.

Lai is married with all his children grown up. Though he has a wife, they are not in talking term. Ten years ago he fell in love with another woman who is 10 years younger than him. He brought her to work along in his trading company. You might say, she was like a mistress and a secretary to this lucky man. She was a committed staff and a faithful lover at the beginning. Everything seemed beautiful and nice for them, until lately when another man came into their lives. This man happened to be the ex-boyfriend to the lady. He is younger, more caring, more loving than the older Lai who is unromantic at all. Lai's mistress is blaming him for taking her for granted all these years. She doesn't feel the sense of security and happiness with Lai. She doesn't feel to be loved and cared upon by the old fashion man. She has left her job with Lai and trying new things elsewhere. All these happened only two months ago. Poor Lai is saddened with unspoken words.

Out of sympathy, i asked to confirm with Lai whether he still loves his mistress who has betrayed his emotion. Though Lai is sorrowful, angry and jealous but he confessed his love with her is still strong. My assessment on him is, 'a weak lover who didn't reveal his heart openly.' During their ten years of relationship, not one time did Lai spoke these beautiful three magical words to his lady..."I Love You."

These are my advices to him. Be brave in love. Be romantic and caring. Be fun and humorous with your love. Be patience and tolerance in love. Be understanding and responsible for her. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes are considered as our teachers, including Love Mistakes. Forget your past. If you still love her, go for her and tell her you still love her. What this younger boyfriend could do, you have to do better, either in romance or action. Love could only be overcome if you do away with your pride and arrogance. If you love her, don't try to possess her and control her. After all love is freedom and you have to trust her to earn her confidence. Lastly, if she could get true love and happiness from another better man, please be a willing loser. Because when you really love a person, you allow that person to pick the best ideal choice. Love isn't selfish. Lai left us with an enlightened heart.

My belief - "Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for them."