As dad, I replied...........

I took my son to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. 

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. 

My son noticed I was watching a teenager sitting next to him. 

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red,
orange, and blue. 

I kept staring at her. 

The teenager kept looking and would find me staring every time. 

When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" 

Knowing myself, my son quickly swallowed his food so that he would not choke on my response;  He knew I would have a good one! 

In classic style I responded without batting an eyelid .... 

"Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."