Listening can help another frustrated person.

One of my ex staff requested me to contact a lady friend who was under depression and needed counselling. I spoke to her once on the phone and communicated several times by the text messages. From her verbal and written words, I could feel and sense that she was unhappy, upset and frustrated. Without delaying further, I invited her for a casual meet today.

Upon meeting her, I could see she was a lost person by the way she dressed and spoke. With my introduction and encouragement, she started to reveal herself without fear. She is an active business trader who runs several promotional gift stores where ever there are action. She complained that business is difficult due to supplies, shortage of manpower, good locations, and poor cash reserve. There were many set back during the past few years. Especially she was cheated by many due to untrustworthy friends and relatives. Even her own sister and brother in law whom she had trusted, refused to assist. While talking on this subject, emotionally she cried with tears. She has the beauty of a good heart but not many who work closed to her would appreciated such beauty. She had spend the best part of her life in this business but she still could not get what she wants. She had no family love and till today she has not found her lover yet. Neglected with love and attention, she has accumulated a huge amount of debt. Many times she had attempted to commit suicide to take the easy way out of life. It was a sad story.

I was listening and understanding her. She was lonely, lacked love and concern. Frustration led to depression which created illogical thinking in her working life. I told her to relax and always try to think the positive way of life. I encourage her to smile and be happy. Smiling can make her attractive and be pleasant in look. Smiling can create confident. Although we met only the first time, she was very comfortable with me. She felt much better after our talk and I assured her, I am only one call away if ever she needed help. We both left as good friends and the meeting was very meaningful to me too.

What Loretta Girzaitis wrote was true, "If someone listens, or stretch out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen."

Later of the night, this lady sent over a text message to me, "Thanks for your encouragement. I will remember all my life."

Start the morning with a cheerful note.

The best thing to start the day is to cheer someone first in the early morning. I am lucky to have friends who celebrate birthday everyday because each day of the calender is always filled with friend's birthdays. Not forgetting today my lovely friend, Suleiha who is celebrating her sweet birthday. Ever since I had known her for twenty five years, I had never failed to send her my self designed personal birthday card. Even making shame on her husband who at times might forget. Not me because they are too important a friend for me.

This morning before she got up from bed, I had prepared a special text message for her. It was written as, "Specially to this lady I admire so much...True beauty of a lady is seen with her heart where love & passion reside...My dear, Happy Birthday to you today. U do have the gifts of the above."....Robert.

Shortly as expected, my mobile phone was returned with this message from her, "Thank you so much handsome u make my day. I mean it." Equally I was delighted with her words. I replied her again, "I am so glad you like my wishes. More so to this attractive and intelligent lady who is reading my sms now." Finally she came back with, "U have a good day sweetheart."

I believe she was happy. Happiness is to see others happy because of ourselves. End result, I was engrossed to feel the pride and wonderfulness of the surrounding. I started with a happy mood and the day ended extremely well too. How I wish if everyone lives by this way of life, perhaps the world then will live more in peace and in harmony!

What Albert Einstein spoken was true, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Perseverance, Tolerance & Patience in selling.

Amanda is one young lady agent also my colleague, who used to contact me for advices and guidance on selling. Recently she sent me a text message, "Hi! Robert how are you? Have not been really chatting with you lately. Are you happy today? I am very happy because even though I lost a small case to another agent who gave discount. It is because I did my best and the husband apologised. The wife insisted to buy from this unprofessional agent. He was happy with my advices. Out of no choice, he had to oblige his wife's decision to deal with that agent and not me."

I felt great to receive her message for I knew she was following my guidance without desperation to sell with discount too. I replied her, "Hi! My dear, I am happy coz you are doing the right approach. Perseverance, tolerance and patience are the way. Read my blog and you learn more."

The next minute she responded, "Now I understand why you are a long time MDRT and always happy. :) Will read. Enjoy your evening."

I sincerely hope Amanda and all those who aspire in selling Life Insurance to practise Perseverance, Tolerance and Patience. These are the key factors to stay and maintain in a long term selling career.

I learned from a friend, Ariff who gave me his encouragement; "Perseverance is the growing quality and Patience is the passion of great hearts."

See the bright side of everything.

Most people always look at the sad part of life when on their day to day affairs. It happened even today. I was assisting another club member in our gym, when he was alone pressing his bench press. He was complaining the bench was uneven and the iron was dirty. I politely reminded him not to complain further, otherwise he would lose interest on the exercise. Since he was already here, might as well think of the benefits he gained. Everything has its good and try looking at the brighter view rather than locating the sad one. My few words changed his outlook and he regained his composure on the serious workout again.

On the way back to my office, I met another colleague whom I had not seen for quite sometimes. He greeted me, "How are you Robert?" Cheerfully I responded, "I am so happy and excited to meet you at this moment." His face was moody, "Not me! Is a horrible day! Everyone is rejecting me." For his sake I explained to him, "Whatever happened there must be a reason. Why don't you take today's rejections as a good learning lessons. Feel happy that someone out there were teaching and guiding you for tomorrow's success." That change his mood, "Humm! You are right. I will try to think that way. Thank you Robert."

Every situation or happening has its wonderful or sorrowful view. If we harp over the wrong part of it, most likely we will feel lousy and frustrated. On the hand, if we pick the ideal part of it, we definitely feel nice and excited. The choice is on us. Nonetheless most people have the negative mind to opt for bad than good. The strong minded will focus the bright side of everything.

William James said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is the man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind."

Understand the bad and keep the good.

Our world cannot be prefect because we have both good and bad in the making all the time. Without bad, good will never know they are good. If there isn't any sickness on earth, mankind will not appreciate good health. Meaning, we have to experience illnesses at times to understand what is good health. To stay healthy, we need the extra effort and energy, which in turn generate productivity for the world. Medical benefits are needed and jobs opportunity are created. If we were to look at it deeper, our mind goes beyond imagination.

If there is no bad guy, than we don't need rules and regulations to control our world. When law is not needed, the police will be out of job and no student is interested to be lawyer then. If that happened, many people will be out of job and it may lead to a lot of frustration later. Under such circumstances, it looks like without the bad guys, the good may find it difficult to live by itself. Is logical to live in a good way of life but without the living of the bad, the good will not know what is good again. What matter most is to know and to understand the different of bad and good in life and pick our choice to remain at good all the time. Believing in good of life is happier and more meaningful to society.

The late Tony P from the Philippines spoke to me once, "No one can go back and make a new beginning but anyone can start from now and make a happy ending."

A home needs a woman

I have a son working in Singapore. Although he has a good job, he was unhappy because he missed his wife and children. The understanding wife, took the sacrifice to resign her established career to join the husband there, taking along their three little kids. With both husband and wife now working, he asked his mother in law and retired auntie to come over to care for their young. As both these elder ladies also missed the children, they were too happy to join them as well.

Not too far away from my son home, I have another brother in law who had migrated to Singapore earlier. Recently his maid had resigned and the family had to share duties to maintain the house. Lately his father in law from the Philippines had a stroke and the daughter had to fly home to see the father. Without any woman in the house, the man was at lost. Immediately he called my wife or his sister to the rescue. Requesting my wife to go over to his home, together with my maid to help.

Men are considered as smart and capable. They hold higher position and can be earning much more than women. Sad to say, without woman in the home, all men will be at lost. My son without her wife around, he was unhappy and fell into depression. His kids, all boys without the grand mother and auntie around, they would feel sad and lonely. My brother in law at first without the maid, the whole house went upside down. Later when his wife left for her home, he realised a woman was so important for the house. Surprised me, non of them thought on male to their rescues. They never asked me or another brother or another male relatives to assist. Finally they knew women are important to them under such circumstances, but they had forgotten that this man who wrote this article also needs woman as much as they do. They took my wife but they left me with a young maid in the house. I wonder what happen if there is no woman on earth, would man be able to survive by themselves!

Elizabeth Cady Stanton was right; "Motherhood is the most important of all the professions - requiring more knowledge than any other departments in human affairs."

The power of woman.

Hairuddin was an old staff of mine, who left several years ago to venture into his tourism business. With the support from his family and especially his wife, he rose rapidly in his circle of contacts. Early this year, there was a down turn when he had conflict with his wife. He had fallen in love with another younger lady whom he had intention to get marry. As a Muslim, he is entitled to get marry again. But without the consent from his first wife, his new young girl friend got frustrated and instead left him for good. Later with further quarrel at home, his wife also divorced him. Without any woman, he was lonesome and sorrowful. He could not sleep and eat for months. His business was badly affected. One day while returning home, he met a nasty accident when he knocked and killed a motorcyclist. He too was badly injured with a fracture leg. The court fined him heavily and banned him from driving for two years. I knew about all these while calling him on phone two months ago. He was recouping in his parents home when he had nothing to do. His voice sounded dull, moody and uninteresting. There was no personal drive in him, when I felt he was like a lost person. Two weeks ago I called him again for the Hari Raya greeting. Surprisingly he sounded very cheerful to me on this occasion. A voice that I could feel with love and happiness. I asked him, "Din, are you in love again?" He replied, "Yes! Boss I found a new girl friend. She is besides me at the Port Dickson beach now. I am coming back for good. After the holiday, I will start by business again."

I believe his words. With nothing at the beginning but with the love of his wife, he built his setting gradually. He lost everything when he created anger with his wife. Without love, it would be difficult for him to move. He might have nothing at the moment, but with his new found love, I trust he will make it again. A woman can lift and spur a man to success but if you had a wrong woman, she can also drain and jeopardize a man to failure. Ladies are for man to love but we have to love them right. In fact, women are actually smarter than men. Whether we like it or not, this is the true facts of life again.

A naughty friend gave this interesting quote, "The greatest achievement for a man is to be able to conquer two women and make them fall in love madly with him passionately. One is a wife and the other is a girl friend. You can even be happier by never allowing these two women to meet. Then you are truly a wonderful happy father and a good lover." I wonder whether its true.