Are we like that......

So sorry I was away for quite sometime. Many of my readers would have been wondering what happened to me. Well! I'm still as naughty and playful with the same youthful heart.

To begin with, I had posted a beautiful picture for all to see and admire. I had shared this cartoon with many of my friends using the WhatsApp application on my hand phone. My question to them was... "Are we like that?" Wow! Everyone was amazed with the cartoon, and they gave me many different comments and replies. In a broader scope, perhaps this blog could create more attention, when readers could also view to appreciate what they can see in this loving picture. Please feel free to write your thoughts and be brave to tell the truth. Okay?

Do u know why sweet & cute girls turn angry and bitter wives?

My eldest son sent me this joke last nite....

Girls & Wives...

Once a Man asked God:

"Why are all Girls so cute and sweet?

And all Wives are always Angry and Bitter?"

God answered: "Girls are made by Me.... and you make them Wives!!!"

I replied his message... "What about Boys and Husbands?"

Son replied... Got to check with God

Much later these were what I told him....

Just called God. HE said......

As created by ME. All Boys are Naughty and Playful. But the minute they made those girls as wives, they lost all their playfulness and naughtiness. Just like this once naughty boy who is reading my playful message now.

He laughed... "Hahaa!!"

What say you gentlemen out there?

When Couples go to bed.............

So sad to see this cartoon but is true. I sincerely hope our local authorities could do something to improve the situation. 

What keeps the doctor away for men???

The old days of saying... "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away" might be not so effective as what you see on top. What say you gentleman?

Good Manners..............

Gentlemen out there.... Are we really from Mars?

I sell love....................................

It had been quite sometime that I wrote on my blog, and many of my keen readers were concerned about my well being. Tell you my friends, I'm always on top of the world. Just that lately I am extremely busy, never had I been so fully occupied in my entire life. They said when you grow older, you would be less busy and more time for yourself. Not me! I think I'm still growing up, rather than growing old. Growing up is by choice, while growing old is mandatory.

Believe me, this happened recently to me. In one of my dream world's night, I received a call from A Boss of The Universal G.O.D. Corporation. Out of the million candidates, HE had chosen me to be a recognised Rep for his corporation. The qualified candidate has to have experienced the "Good & Bad" of our earthly lives. A simple person, not rich, not poor either but have all the fun and humour in him. His heart has to be pure and sincere, and the mind must be willing to give unconditionally. It took HIM sixty five years to endorse my qualification.

On the phone, The Boss who spoke so sweet and blissful, melted my heart when HE gracefully announced my appointment with The Universal G.O.D Corporation. As a Rep I am allowed to sell one of their unique product. There is no basic or any financial return of any kind while selling this product but I know the benefits will be tremendous. The product is L.O.V.E. and I have to sell it without discrimination and prejudice, no colour bar, race or faith.

Lately as A Rep for the corporation, I had been moving around acting as counsellor, preacher of love, fun maker, horoscope and palm reader, graphologist, motivator and guest speaker, fund raiser, fate healer, match maker, job seeker for others, entertainer and actor. Most important of all as a father or brother to whoever I met, when I could sell my miracle product, L.O.V.E. to them.

How I wish one day is 48 hours and not 24.

BTW.... If you need my product, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm just one call or email away. Forgotten to tell you guys, my product is free.

Why Condoms are Packed 3, 6, 12 to a Box.......

Sunday laugh....

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They

happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies,

"Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of  that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

"Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday,

one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy.He notices a 6 pack and asks,

"Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the dad answers.

"Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks,

picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied

"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for 

March......."

The boy shot back, "Then I am not going to get married!!!!"

                            

The New Hat..................

I LOVE THIS WOMAN

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam..

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"

 

"Yes, I know," said the lady.

"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."

 

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

 

The woman looked down, then back up at the man
and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.

I just bought this hat yesterday!"

You can laugh ah?

My question to you now... is

What happened if the woman isn't 75 but a sweet 21 years young lady?

 Like this one?

You guess she holds the top or the bottom??

Please don't be afraid to tell your thought!

Amazing how your values change as you age!

The Back Pew .....................

Sunday Joke

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.

        After 6 children, this started to get expensive

and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.

        A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children

were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

        After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke,

        "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

        Silence fell over the congregation.

        In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,

"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

        The entire congregation said, "Amen."

        Gotta love those senior citizens

Big end problem?

I like this joke....

A Ducati bike rider walked into a chemist shop in Brisbane, Qld and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. 

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and that as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. 

She then asked if she could help him. The biker said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The biker then agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a ......permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it."

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is:

1/3 ownership in the shop ....

A company car...

Five home cooked dinners a week ..

And $ 3,000 a month in living expenses." 

Difference​s in ethnic compassion...

Sunday laugh....

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. 

Three women, an American, a French and an Australian, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. 

The American woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on. 

The French woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on. 

The Australian woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been fucked?' The man broke into a big smile and said, 'No.'

She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'

Getting older....

First you forget names, 

then you forget faces. 

Then you forget to pull up your zipper... 

it's worse when 

you forget to pull it down....

Luckily today is April's Fool and whatever mistakes, it's excusable. 

Baby's First Doctor Visit. . .

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. 

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied... 

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. 

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. 

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.' 

I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.

The three great kings.......

Some humorous wisdom....

Teacher:

Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?

Little Johnny:

Drin-king,

Smo-king,

and Fuc-king.

Never underestimate children of today.

Financial Planning ...............

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away."I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her,

"But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".

"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. 

Women are so much better at financial planning than men. 

Aging......

 How true...

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say "you don't look that old." 

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when
you forget to pull it down. 

Buying Condoms.....

Have you ever purchased condoms over the counters before? I'm sure if you are a normal healthy person, whether is a male or female, you must had experienced it before. Right?

Well! Tell me, whether you feel good buying them, or feel proud buying them or feel shy and embarrass about buying this little rubber safety needs. When I asked little darling how she feels. She said it's a man's job and not the women who should be buying them. She wasn't telling the truth! I believe as a lady, she is shy to buy and pay over the counter, especially when the cashier over the counter is a male. The stare of him might be sensitive when he prices over those packets she is buying. What brand she is choosing, why so many packets. The brand she picks might depict the standard of income she belongs to. The number of packets might reveal how heavy is she on sexual needs. Consciously her personal side of life might be known!

What about me? When I was a teenager, buying a condom needed guts and courage. However showing the condoms to my friends was a hero. Later when I got marry, buying condoms was my routine. I preferred to buy when the counter was managed by men. Some how or rather, I didn't feel comfortable buying through a female cashier. A good understanding cashier, normally packed the condom packets fast and neat to avoid unnecessary inconvenient and embarrassment to the customers. Now! At my current tender young old age, buying condom is a joy to me. I feel like a hero again. Because if one isn't healthy and normal, you would not have the chance to buy such requirement in your daily life. Thanks God! He still gives me the vitality of strength to live.

A woman can change your life.....

Hi Man!!! Are you down, lifeless, no drive, no dreams, not doing well, unable to fulfil your obligations, sad, frustrated, unhappy, sorrowful and still single.... Try this.

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False Teeth........

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.  The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.  The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.  The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes.  The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.  But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...!!!

Wheel of Chance.......

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I received a Valentine card from little darling. Would like to share it with you guys to see, laugh but please don't tease her. Promise?

That wheel of chance reminded me of my childhood days. When I was a little kid, those bicycle ice cream sellers carried a wheel of chance behind their ice cream boxes. For a five cent, we were allowed to spin the wheel once. All the numbers were One, except one particular side was printed as 9. Any child who could spin to get the number 9, would be given 9 ice creams. I was thrilled once, when I got 9 ice creams for only paying 5 cents.

Sad today! Because The Valentine Wheel of Chance has all the odds against me. It has 11 No Sex over 1 Sex. What a Valentine card I received! Hahaha!!!