Afraid of rejection.

The thought of wondering why most believers, who believe in the spiritual world are willing to give unconditional and undivided love to a belief of faith, which they could only feel, when they are not prepared to offer the similar kind of love to the real world of people whom they can see, talk and touch. I had spoken to many friends regarding this subject and not many could give me a logical answer. One even told me that the spiritual world cannot be compared with people. But in fact, this friend had forgotten, it is the spiritual world that taught us to be loving and kind to others. What is the point to be loving to the Almighty alone ,when you are selfish to the world! Perhaps this is the part that most people lack in the understanding of life. To be loving and kind to the unseen, unheard and untouchable but selfish to those we actually can see, talk and touch.

To my surprise, my secretary who is a very religious lady and has been working with me for fifteen years gave me the powerful reason. According to her, the spiritual world is always blissful for the mind but the real world of people give rejection. Yes! The answer is, people just don't like to be rejected or afraid of rejection. Loving a person has joy and pain. Pain is a form of rejection which most people try to avoid. To succeed in selling, one has to be rejected many times to gain a sale. Sales rejection is a frustration process. You want to smile to the world but not necessary the world smiles back. Conclusion: to avoid rejection most people tend to be more reserve and selfish in nature. Solution: prepare to accept the rejection of life which is unavoidable.

I strongly believe; "We worry about our family, we worry about money or the lack of it, we worry about work, about where we live, about all sorts of thing. These are all burdens, the things we pick up along life's path and lug them around the obstacles and over the crevasses that life will bring; only to find that, at the destination they are useless and we can't take them with us. So be happy yourself and just do your best and surprises would come your way".

Never turn a sale peddler away.

Happiness is to see others happier and knowing your sharing is being accepted. As I was sipping my afternoon tea, I received a text message from one of my secret admirer who took my learning seriously. She wrote, "Hey dear!...I was sitting there and someone came and ask for donation and I thought about u, 'Never Turn A Person Away And Always Give Them A Chance'. I hope u are hip hopping away..c u soon.." I replied her immediately, "U have done right my dear. Always give hope to someone who approaches u".

Life is always full of rejection and if someone smiles and offers a support, hope and dream might be created. It is not easy to peddle sale in the open or to seek for a charity course from the public. Many people snob at these approaches which they consider as a nuisance and rejections are extremely high. For those who peddle on the street are not wrong either. After all for the sake of survival one has to start some where to work. Whenever I being confronted by such peddlers, even I might not purchase or make a donation to them, I will offer them a friendly smile together with a sincere thank you. That little gesture can motivate them to continue to live and survive. This is the understanding of wisdom in life to help another person to live. I am glad my lady friend has learned that facts of life too.

This happy thought by Buddha, "Thousand of candles can be lighted from a single candle. And the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared".

Our world has gone upside down.

Not every one is as lucky as Alan who failed twice in marriage but yet has an understanding girlfriend. The minute Alan had plan to move over to Shanghai, his new found girlfriend, Fanny was willing to accompany him. She had a successful bank job prior joining him. For the sake of not loosing him, she was prepared to resign her work to follow him for the better or for the worst. She is not bother about the future coz as long as love is there, she is happy with her man.

Not many females of today are willing to sacrifice like Fanny, especially those who are educated and termed as the modern ladies of the world. The present women are strong minded, independence and are hard working. For their success achieved, they tend to lose the need and interest on man. Many successful ladies remain single or those who were married might have high chances of broken marriages leading to divorce. Recently I was asked by a close lady acquittance, "Why should I need a man when I can be earning well?" That statement wasn't spoken twenty years ago. Before, woman seeks for ideal man to provide securities. Whereas today, ladies seek for successful career to determine their future.

Yes the female is getting stronger by the days and the male is getting weaker by the minutes. Man is not as hard working, weak minded and lacking in drive. This morning itself as I was talking to a friend, William from Singapore who is still not married at thirty four of age currently, mentioned that he finds it extremely difficult to get a girl friend or a wife. Most Singaporean girls have higher expectation in life. They take career and position as more important than romance. With so much setback for man and without the feminine charm of the lady world, man is turning and romancing with man ourselves. Fifty years ago, the gay, homosexual or bisexual are hardly heard. Those days, these group of special people were hidden and unknown. Today in every corner of our world, they have gathered their strength and are partially recognised. Even myself at my age, I was cornered by one who claimed that he loves me and likes to make love with me. What a joke! Few days ago, another male acquittance told me that he is now a bisexual. A man who likes women but also likes men. He claimed that he didn't behave like this before, until his previous girlfriend left him. According to him, making love with man is even better than making love with woman. His final remark to me, "Robert! If you don't try, you will never know it is the best". This statement scares me!

Perhaps our world has gone upside down. Before it was the female who excites man but now man has to assist man. And the female has to live and be happy within themselves. I think we had lost our original creation, when God created Eve to love Adam. We have forgotten our roles. She wants independence and not her man. He is hungery for her love but she isn't there for him. Whether you believe it or not, these are the true facts of life happening at the moment.

Specially for the ladies; "Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery". Spoken by Spike Milligan

True Happiness lies within.

Everyone wants to be happy. Most people await for happiness to come to them. Only few would make others happy unselfishly. Take my words, if you offer a sincere compliment to tell a lady, she is pretty, she surely will be excited and happy. If a man has done well in his job, by cheering his achievement, his pride will feel with sensation. Advising a friend and showing him the road to success, brings joy and happiness to him as well. But only the wise, understands that true happiness is to make others happy and succeed in life. He do not await for happiness to come by his way coz he knows happiness could be created at every moment of his life. His objective is to serve rather than to be served. Sharing and giving is a joy and not a pain or a sorrow. Is only with deep understanding of life, one is prepared to surrender oneself for others. The happiness and success of others is the accomplishment for the one who gives.

I hope this short message of happiness be understood by this special lady friend of mine, who debated with me on how happiness be gathered in our day to day living.

This happy thought by Og Mandino, "Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself".

Difference between control & under control

Over a cup of coffee, together with two friends we were talking about bringing up children. Mohd Jamali brought up two interesting words; control and under control. I totally agreed with him, these are two different meaning of words and application.

Control sounds forceful with negative result. Whereas under control is to apply solution for a positive reasoning. If parents were to control children in bringing up them, children tend to turn rebellious and be frustrated in thought. On the other hand, if parents want the children to be under control, then the parents have to think of a better way to love and teach them right. Or if a man loves a woman by controlling her well being all the time, she might feel herself is being possessed. Controlling leads to selfishness and jealousy within both lovers. A love relationship that is under control is normally built on trust and understanding. Or a weak manager who controls his staffs might gain little result. Comparing an understanding manager who applies encouragement and motivation, his staffs surely would be under control eventually. Application of words and meaning are very important in life. Use them well and effectively, the outcome will have a tremendous impact on our lives.

Manju Puri said, "The differences between optimists and extreme optimists are remarkable, and suggests that over-optimism, like over-confidence, may in fact leads to behaviours that are unwise".

Are u the loved or hatred person?

During my forty years of selling, I had interacted with uncountable people. Today, I strongly believe there are two main types of human being. One is the loved kind and the other is the hatred one. The loved person gives love willingly without feeling tired but when he turns hateful he loses energy very fast. On the hand, the hatred person is not willing to offer love. Unless there is an opportunity gain or for a purpose. Giving out love is tiring but to be hateful is normal to that person.

A loved person has admiration for others. He adores and appreciates for whatever he receives. Most of the time, he is friendly in nature. Helping others is part of his way of life and he will not get tired about it. He enjoys giving more than receiving. Making people happy is happiness to him. Seeing others succeed is like an achievement too. Should he gets upset and becomes angry for some unforeseen reasons, his energy would drain off easily. Love is his strength and hate is his weakness.

A hatred person is resentful to others. He has a selfish character and dislikes sharing and giving. For the purposes of showing to others, he could behave loving and caring. Or for the intention of seeking a gain, he approaches a friendly image with a mask covers on the face. The hypocrisy of love tires his mind when he applies too long a period. Whenever he is with his family or with his loved ones, he speaks with temper and anger. Those who do not understand him, might think he is angry or frustrated but in fact his hostility of behaviour is part of his normal self. Love is his weakness but hate is actually his strength though.

To a loved person, he might think a hatred person is wrong. Similarly a hatred person, could think the loved person is stupid. As far as I am concerned, the world will never have any perfect person. What is important is to understand the facts of life for the world needs all types of people to live together. Love the friend who has hate and understand the one who has love.

Quote to inspire; "Beauty is not in the face, beauty is a light in the heart". Spoken by Kahlil Gibran

What is pride?

The word PRIDE looks simple but it serves different purposes in life. In layman term, it means pleasure or satisfaction taken in achievement or the opposite as arrogant or disdainful conduct. In our day to day life, pride at times drains our energy but sometimes we really needs it to excel.

A couple was in love madly but came a day when both quarrelled on some misunderstanding. Both refused to talk and compromise. To further anger each other, they complained and criticized further. If love still remains, it will come to a point that both might feel the pain in their heart. This is called love sick. On their own, they cannot sleep, eat or work. They feel miserable and unhappy all the time. The only solution is one party has to swallow his or her pride. Just admit your wrong and the other party will accept with pride. If pride overrules both of them, most likely they will never have a chance to meet up again. Pride is the main killer on their mind.

The following quotes are true in this circumstance. Spoken by Emily Bronte, "Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves." By Thomas Jefferson, "Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold." Unknown, "Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there."

You might want to be a successful salesperson but are not prepared to accept defeats and rejections at the beginning, then most likely you won't make it in the first place. On the hand, if you started with pride which you earned through the many years of learning and understanding life, the chances of succeeding is greater. Pride within yourself creates confident, and respect bursts yourself with pride.

Words spoken here are correct too. Muhammad Ali's famous quote; "I am the greatest. Not only do I knock em out, I pick the round." George Bernanos said, "It's a fine thing to rise above pride, but you must have pride in order to do so." By Benjamin Franklin, "Pride that dines on vanity, sups on contempt."