Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year.

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains'?

'Not yet', she replied!!

I laughed while reading this short joke. Is true, when his testicles turn brainy later in life, he would be naughty and wild. His mind might say no but his brainy testicles could still overrule. All intelligence, smart and successful man always has brainy testicles. Including myself. Don't believe test me!

Have you heard of this quote - "But I hang onto my prejudices, they are the testicles of my mind” - Eric Hoffer.

A person who has love, has right mental attitude.

One of my recent client, Dato Dr. Raja Mohamad invited me and my team to speak to his marketing staffs. They sell The OIC Today, a business & investment magazine meant for the Islamic world.

I presented my favorite topic, TEAMWORK, highlighting the 30 attributes to be a star performer. A star is one who has the right mental attitude to excel in any circumstances and in any working environment. All the attributes are inborn in themselves, and its up to them to apply or not to apply. For instance, they know what is honesty but whether they want to be honest is up to the individual. To work hard is one of the 30 attributes but they find so difficult to work on it everyday. Humanity is a powerful attribute but to be honest and sincere to feel for others could be debatable.

I created the awareness of these common 30 attributes, and is up to these young people to accept them whole heartily. I believe there are three different groups who had listened. The first group is those who would accept my points and applied what they had learned today. The second group is those who think they are intelligence and need not follow what i said. Lastly is the third group who is irresponsible and not bother what had been mentioned.

Looking at their eyes and facial, those who fall into the first grouping are those who have love in their heart. My belief; "A Happy Heart Sees A Beautiful World." A person who has a happy heart is one who has Love, Romance & Sex complete. These magical forces of love will light up their mind and heart, when they would accept and apply the good things of life. Love seldom fails. I am sorry to say, those who fall into the second and third group are those who lack love in their heart. Perhaps a sad and unhappy heart could never see the world beautiful. These are the people who would always not having the right mental attitude in life. I definitely can't change them. Only love will.

Dr. Albert Schweitzer: Inspirational Quotes: Attitude Quotes
"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere; while a pessimist sees only the red stop light. The truly wise person is color blind."

No tipping No services

Is tipping good or bad? Some might say bad but i think is good.

Quite recently i patronised an Indian Restaurant, one i used to have my afternoon tea. I noticed the level of services had dropped drastically. The waiters and cashier did not smile, and were unfriendly. They were nominated with a One Star cleanliness restaurant by the local council few years ago. The framed recognised certificate was still at displaced over near the cashier. However the floor was dirty and the toilet was equally bad. I was wondering why the overall service and maintenance had been slackened so badly! As i was looking around, i realised a big signboard written "No Tipping" was posted besides the back of the cashier. Ahah! That was the reason.

Life needs challenges and rewards. No tipping could be good to stingy customers. But no tipping is discouraging to those working staffs. Not all waiters have the right attitude in work, and without tipping most are not bother to give the extra miles. Perhaps the boss thought that the No Tipping request is positive, but in actual fact it has more setback than being progressive in his business. I wish i had the chance to tell him!

Tipping isn't compulsory. Tipping is just a dining manner to appreciate those who have done his best to serve. A good tipper is one who has the heart for others. Giving the encouragement and support for the other person to work harder. I am one who never fail to tip those who deserve to be tipped.

The Tipping Point - "How little things can make a big different" - Malcolm Gladwell quotes

Two faces One character.

Something i learned from a good friend, Lisa who is still young to me but has the experience of life. She said it's normal to have "two faces and one character" of a person, rather than "two faces but two characters" of you.

Whenever i conduct business i adjusted and adapted myself according to the situation and environment. I might be unhappy or upset at that moment of time, i would still put on a big broad smile to the person i meet. The heart is unpleasant but the face shows pleasantness. Or another situation, i love my little darling but due to some little argument or conflict, i acted harshly towards her. That doesn't mean i have fallen out of love. I still have a kind and loving heart, just that emotion at that moment of time has taken control of me. These i called two faces with one character of a person.

Be careful with those who have two different characters of personality. He might be smiling and looks kind and tender from the outside, but back home he is violent and abusive to his family. Or she is beautiful and softly spoken the first time you meet her, she could be insincere and unfaithful when you fall in love later with her. Two faces with two characters are dangerous people and you have to be smart to understand them.

'Two faces' powerful phrases i try to remember - "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time" - Abraham Lincoln

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" — Marilyn Monroe

Final Hours!!!

Good joke must be shared. Laugh please! For it's holiday festival mood.

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife

that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.

Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.

About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,

"Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.

Could we please do it one more time?"

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch

and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.

He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,

"Honey, please... just one more time before I die."

She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time..

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.

Morris, however, worried about his impending passing, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours.

Do you think we could..."

At this point the wife sits up and says, "Fuck Off,

I have to get up in the morning... you don't."

For the men to know - “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” -Oscar Wilde quotes

You get your wishes on Xmas.

At the eve of Xmas, Santa Clause would be bringing all the gifts of joy to the world. To the little kids, they be happy and excited to see toys and games. I asked my secretary who has been working with me for the past 18 years, what she wanted when Santa arrives. She said "Boss, there is no Santa Clause lah! Its only a child's mystic and imagination. But i will be very happy if i receive my salary together will a fat bonus." I told her, "Yes! Santa would fulfill your dreams!"

I spoke to Ah Fei what he wanted for the presents tonite. He wishes Wati would love and marry him next year. I called Ong staying in JB what he wants. Spiritually he wants to have Peace. I am sure Santa would understand. The wife who was besides him asked for good health. Yee Fun who complained of frequent back pain would be happy if Santa could come with a cure for her discomfort. Zarina still single hope to marry sooner, wished to have a love from Santa. Peng who is so engrossed to qualify for her Company oversea trip by end of this year, demanded more sales by this month.. "Santa! please let me have the Paris trip."

While writing this page, i seek the Almighty Universe to grant all the wishes and dreams to all these friends who are so closed to me. Though Santa Clause might be a mere mystic to our physically world, his name has the magic to bring us the gifts of love and happiness. Santa would be sliding down your chimney on the eve of Christmas with the presents you would wish for. May this Christmas brings joy and peace to this violent earth of ours. May this Christmas brings us happiness. May this Christmas brings us love.

Ah!!! I almost forgotten for myself. "Santa, please wrap up a gift with my little darling in it. Coz she is very important to me."

Meanwhile i wish all my readers, A Merry Xmas & A Happy New Year ahead.

To you know this - "Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." -- Calvin Coolidge

Woman is equally difficult to please too.

Women are equally difficult to please too. Don't believe? Ask Jenny. Her boyfriend who just started working, inexperience and lacking in love & romance. Though he loved Jenny so much, she still not happy with him. She did not feel secure financially with him. He might have the time for her, he could not afford to flower her heart with dreams. To Jenny, love wasn't just empty promises, love does not live on air and water alone. She loved shopping, flashy car, holidays and a dream house, and the poor young man did not have that much of money in his account yet. Out go the man, and Jenny preferred to remain single.

Along the way, Jenny met a rich older man who captured her attention with his expensive sport car. He had all the cash to pamper his new found darling. They went for long holidays abroad, an apartment was bought for her and she needs not have to work anymore because the man promised to pay her every month. Jenny was happy for a short span of time, but when he did not spend more time with her, quarrel started to surface gradually between both of them. Out of lonesome and frustration, Jenny broke the relationship though the man still loved her so dearly. Money could not replace love in this case. At the end, Jenny preferred to remain alone again without man.

Funny isn't it! The first man had no money but had the time, Jenny wasn't happy. The second ideal man so thought, was successful and wealthy but had less time for her, Jenny was also not happy. Luckily i was not the first or the second man. Otherwise i might be the most unhappiest man. To satisfy women isn't easy.

Specially for men - "Women like silent men. They think they're listening." ~Marcel Achard, Quote