The secret of staying young....

Most people asked me, "What is the secret of staying young?" Simple! Live a rounded life, be cheerful, contended and have all the humour to make others laugh and smile.

I like the number 60 because once you reach the age of 60 without getting these two common sicknesses of high blood and diabetes, very likely you would be a healthy person. A healthy person is one who is active and appreciate the beauty of sex. Otherwise life could be quite meaningless, especially for the man.

Since I'm in the life insurance business, my experiences tell me that most people who neglect and abuse their body are usually in their thirties and forties. The causes are usually due to over eating, no exercise, drinking too much, over womanizing, lack of rest, stressful work and family problems. So! By the time they reach the fifties, they have all kind of illnesses. Sex? Forget it! Dicky cannot be erected and pussy has no interest. Haha!!!

The few who could reach 60 without all those nonsense habits are the responsible one. The discipline and the right habitual lifestyle allow these senior veterans to enjoy life until the end. Me! I eat everything moderately and take a bit of fine wine with the right company. I'm still naughty as ever, whereas all my classmates have already retired with nothing to look forward to in life. So sad! Some had left to another peaceful world elsewhere too.

Imprinted on my name card I wrote.... The Seven Rules to be happy: 1. Never hate 2. Don't worry 3. Live simple 4. Expect a little 5. Give a lot 6. Always smile 7. Have friends like Robert Foo.

WISDOM OF CONFUCIUS.......

1. 
   
   
   

   Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:-
   
   1. To plant your idea in someone's head
   
   2. To plant someone's money in your own pocket
   
   - He who succeeds in planting his idea in someone's head - we
   call Lao Shi (teacher)
   
   - He who succeeds planting someone's money in his own pocket - we
   call Lao Ban (boss)
   
   - The one who succeeds in both - we call Lao Po (wife) or Lao
   Qian (trickster)
   
   - The one who fails in both - we call Lao Gong (husband)

What is a bad business person?

Ranjit sent this message to me; "A bad business woman, is like a prostitute who gets pregnant!"

I asked him, "What about a bad business man then?"

He couldn't reply!

Let me try. "A bad business man is one who gets women pregnant without intention of having the babies!" Is like having the fun and not be responsible to all consequences later. Whereas a good business man enjoys his work and also fully responsible to all his dealings.

Not all pussies are the same......

I have been in the financial planning services for three decades and I fully agree with the above poster saying "Long term: The car is cheaper". Because to maintain a pussy, one has to flower her with lots of love and attention. And not all pussies are the same. The picture below speaks the truth. Is a joke here but it's the true facts of life.

ROMANTIC SMS.......

She sent the following message while waiting for her train:
My love
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams
If you are smiling, send me your smile
If you are crying, send me your tears
I love you

He replied:
I'm in the toilet. What do I send?

A Woman's Place...

WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul,
Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind
Their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime,
the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now
seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to
change?'

The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation
Said, "Land mines."


Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go):
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BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN!

How's your day going?

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"