Vaseline survey.......

Heard of this Vaseline skin care cream before? I have been using it since a child and didn't know this usage until I read this research. Read on to find out yourself....

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.

Have you ever used the product?'

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!

Dirty mind!!

-- The evil you do remains with you. The good you do comes back to you.

Complication in marriage.....

Marry the one you love
or
Love the one you marry ?????

Read on to find out please.....

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems. Shot after shot. The Indian man said to the American: "We have problem in India. We can't marry the one whom we love. You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely and domesticated girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love. I told my parents that openly and now have a hell of a lot of family problems."

The American said: "Talking about love marriages, in America we can marry the one we love. Let me tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated her for three years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems?"

The Indian fainted...

The Homeless man.....

Most of our Malaysian have gone for a long holiday this week. If you happened to be around, let me amuse you a bit with this story...

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the homeless man said.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded, "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, and golf!"

A heart a horse likes........

In the course of selling life insurance for the past 30 years, I had seen many well learned and intelligent agent who came to join our career aggressively but left the trade sooner than expected. On their name cards, it's imprinted with all sorts of credential, memberships holding, leagues they representing, positions and academic qualifications. Some even have Doctrine or MBA for showing their level of excellence.

Surprisingly those who have nothing to show but are basically simple minded agents with a big heart, lasted much longer in this challenging business than the intelligent one. The reason is also simple because - "A horse doesn't care how much you know, until he knows how much you care"- Pat Parelli.

Princess Melt.......

Weekend story.....

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;

Metal,

Wood,

Stone,

Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured.'

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition.
Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and
inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and the prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.
:-[

The third prince approached. He told the princess,

'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard.. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Innocent virgins getting marry.............

A young Chinese couple get married.

She's a virgin & they are both waiters. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she covers naked under the sheets, as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you first time and you berry flighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows, and he waits patiently and eagerly for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls ... Nummaa 69".

More thoughtful silence, but this time from him Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her...
"You want ... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?"

Luck comes when one works harder....

Selling tips......

One property agent is supposed to sell one of my old apartment. He hadn't contacted me for quite awhile. Curious to know about his progress, I sent him a message, "Hi Young man. Any good news about my property?" He replied, "Hi Robert! One buyer getting bank loan & buyer coming tomorrow. Will keep you updated on developments. Thanks. Luck luck luck pls come!"

I was quick to respond him, "Luck alone isn't good enough. I believe in action more. The heart & the mind have to sink together to make things possible".

To me in selling, luck only comes when there are much activities involved. When the salesperson who doesn't see many prospects, his sales bound to be low. Whereas another salesman who is prepared to see unlimited prospects, I'm sure his sales would be good. Luck is justified by seeing more people. To my agent who intends to dispose my property, I wish he could contact more people out there.

I believe in this proverb - "Be prepared, work hard, and hope for a little luck. Recognize that the harder you work and the better prepared you are, the more luck you might have" - Ed Bradley