Who is the most important person to you?

As I was about to get into my car, a sweet lady agent greeted me, "Hi! Robert, how are you? Is nice to meet you here. We had always wanted to learn from you. Would be good if you could give me a tip in selling."

I was actually busy but I knew it wasn't easy to talk sensibly over in the car when she was standing. I told her, "Ok! Let's have a cup of coffee nearby and perhaps I can squeeze 20 minutes with you."

Over in the cafe shop, I asked her again,"My dear, can you tell me who is the most important person to you at the moment? Without hesitation she said, "I love my dad. He isn't around any more. Robert, you look like my father and I enjoy talking with you."

She wanted a tip in selling. To be successful in selling, treat all your friends, clients, prospects or even strangers if you bound on them, as though they are like your father. As your dad is the most important person you love, naturally you will treat him with respect, kindness, patience, smiles, laughter, understanding and plenty of warm. You spoke with sincerity without the slightest thought of making money from him. You let him felt important and acceptance. You felt proud to be with him. You felt honour to be with him at all time. You were prepared to give anything he requested. You didn't feel bored to be with him. You talked with excitement and laughed so much when he was around. You melted his heart, until he felt for you as well.

I asked her, "My dear, can you treat everyone as important as you had treated your dad?" She stared at me in a haze without uttering a word. I continued, "I delayed my appointment to have this cup of coffee with you first. Coz I know you are too important for me at the moment. I hope you can follow my footstep and I am sure you will be successful in all your future undertakings. I am sorry, I have to go now." I rushed to pay the bill coz I seldom allow ladies to pay when they are with me.

My first rule in selling - "Treat all your prospects and clients as important as the one you love most at the moment."

Man & woman relationship.

I had a keen lady reader from India who forwarded some interesting questions. She wanted me to write on this subject and to enlighten her. I wish to open to everyone, who might be able to contribute as well.

These are the exact following contents she wrote. Among us, there will be many of them, who are having some other affairs other than their girl friends/ boy friends, wives/ husbands.

So far in my concern, those relationships can be like these:

A) Relation of a "married man" with an "unmarried woman" or "married woman",

B) Relation of a "married woman" with an "unmarried man" or "married man",

c) Relation of an "unmarried person" with another one (opposite sex), even though he/she continuing a healthy relation with someone else.

These type of relations, quite often lead to physical (hope everyone could understand). So can any one tells, how far these types of relation are healthy.

a) Towards the bondings of the previous relations,

b) Even though it is not merely a physical, but also a very deep love towards the other one (from new relation),

c) Is it suitable to disclose a relation like this to the society (means family or other partner) (seeing the circumstances of Indian society),

d) If someone wants to continue a relation like this till the end ( here end means, end of life), is it a right decision or wrong?

Wooh!!! She had much to ask. I might have a little wisdom of life and gone through some mistakes, including love mistakes. But that doesn't mean I am an expert in love and romance. Nevertheless I will say a few words to this admirable female friend.

I always believe love has energy but it got to be true love from the heart and mind. The force from them create impact beyond imagination. No true love could work just with the mind coz mind alone isn't pure in thought. From the heart and mind, the love is more sincere and sweeter. If one party is pure and the other isn't, I am sure they will not gain the power of love. With the five senses created for mankind; sight, smell, taste, touch and hear, they should allow each man and woman to seek their rightful love. Plus if the couple concern is connected with true love, then it is a matter of time, they will witness the miracle of happening. I advise my friend there in India, "only the brave and the courage survives." In love, one has to be brave. Brave to approach and courageous to accept. Immaterial of what nationalities and races you are, our present world is for you to live for yourself and not to live for the sake of showing to others. The rest she has to decide herself. What about you, my readers?

Food for the thought - "The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart."

There are two different breakfasts in a morning.

I came home late last night and could not write my blog much earlier. Anyway as tomorrow is a Saturday when I don't need to work, I intend to sleep longer with my little darling. Before I dose off into our dreamworld, "Darling lets have our two breakfasts later in the morning!"

Some would be wondering why there are two breakfasts in the early morning. I give you a hint! Usually the first breakfast is served on bed without any preparation. In the wake of the morning hour when is still dark and quiet, one of us has to press for the call. Gently the man has to fondle and caress her partner. Her awakening has to be soft with whisper, otherwise she might not respond to this early breakfast in bed. When her interest and appetite is aroused, that is the time one would serve and the other receive. For better digestion, is always encouraged to try various styles of feeding and milking. Co-operation and teamwork end with fullest satisfaction of this meal. Immediately after this breakfast, its recommended to go back to sleep again. The next second meal would be served in the dinning with a set of Amercian breakfast, when both man and woman are contented and happier coz they had one earlier breakfast on bed.

Have you tried these two breakfasts in the morning? They help love to bloom and tie relationship together. I wish to have more. Because I believe - "The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom" - James Allen.

The five senses for buying & selling.

In any buying and selling, the five important senses are required. They are the sight, smell, taste, touch and voice. These are the buying and selling signals, depending on the products or services render. Through sight or visual is the easier and fastest means to sell. A catchy and sensational car model could tempt most interested buyers. No property could be sold without the illustrative design or preferable an exact model home for viewing. Delicious food is taken by smell and taste. You can never explain the smell of durian, until you have one in hand. Seeing a beautiful dress is nice but without touching its fabric, the lady might not buy it. All tangible products are sold through sight, smell, taste and touch, which I consider as easy transaction sales. However intangible product like life insurance cannot be sold by the above four senses, except through voice by talking, visualising, discussing, debating, arguing and listening.

Life insurance cannot be seen but it can be explained in words. It is a lasting product which has to be visualised in segments of time and needs. It cannot be smelled but you have to imagine the fragrance of flowers that surround the family. It is tasteless, yet it is so sweet when the peace of mind is gathered. Is only the contract papers that can be touched, but are spelled the hopes and dreams which offer promises and assurances. Is not an easy product to sell, because it needs a truthful voice with understanding, kindness, sincerity, honesty and patience of the heart to make it real and alive. If you are selling life insurance, are you using this voice to communicate?

A Chinese Proverb - "A filthy mouth with not utter decent languages."

Over-weight can kill.

Just a few days ago, one of my client's staff passed away all of a sudden. She was admitted for difficulty in breathing and on the second day she died. The whole company was taken aback because she was only twenty eight years young, married without child yet. It was only two months back I spoke to her, when her employer took medical insurance for the entire company. I needed to see her personally because she was extremely fat and over-weighted. Nevertheless my company effected her cover with some loading. Thanks God! Although she had left, not one cent on her medical charges was paid by her boss or her family. The timely cover took care of her heavy medical bills on time.

Back in her office, all her colleagues were sad and emotional. They could not believe such a young sweet girl could die so soon in live. I was there to share their sorrow and sadness. As their insurance agent, I could understand the cause of death to this unexpected lady. I noticed most of the female existing staffs there are fat and over weight as well. Without fear, I took the courage to ask permission to speak to all the staffs on this uneventful incidence. They were listening.

I told them, she died because she could not breath when her heart was congested with fats. Nothing could be done now but life is always a learning lesson. If death could happen to her, it could strike to any one of us here too. I was direct to indicate that not only the decease was over-weight but many of them in their office were also heavy in size. Most ladies who are not married would take the trouble to look good and beautiful, but sad to tell them not when they got marry. Married working women always claimed that they don't have time. They have to work in the day and care for the family at night. One word, they take life for granted! I suggested to them that they should consider seriously to exercise regularly plus proper diet with good nutrition. Regular exercising will built strength and muscle. Good nutritious diet will allow better health. Not only they are healthier, they look better in shape and style. This is also another way to capture the interest of their husbands, as their wives are still attractive to them. My final conclusion to them; let this incidence be a lesson to all of us. Love your body and your health will take care of you.

I was glad all the working staffs accepted and took my advices positively. They promised to start exercising soon. Each of them had set a target to reduce their unwanted fat according to their age and height. They are afraid to die too soon and also scared to loose their darling husbands. The boss was equally happy that I was telling the truth of life. I am more happier than them because I had convinced them to stay longer in this world.

Food for the heart - Sharing what you love. Lend others your favourite book. Let someone borrow your favourite clothes. Allow somebody else to drive your car. Treat your family to your favourite food. Loving is in sharing and sharing is loving.

A heart felt appreciative letter from a friend.

My recent title, "Giving rebate is a bad ethic in selling" was well read by many of my clients. Out of the many, I was deeply touched by an old friend, Dato Merican who is currently residing abroad, wrote to me upon reading my blog. I like to share his thought and feeling.

His email...."Yes, Robert. Yours was first email I read at 6am today after completing my morning prayer and meditation. I try to at least 10 minutes of meditation everyday immediately following my morning prayers. I try to mold this as my daily routine because the mind is still fresh at the early hours and more so after saying your prayers to God for thanking HIM to see another new day of your life in this 'temporary' world.

As I read your article, my mind which had just went through its training to attain clarity and calmness through the routine meditation, could easily travel back into time and recollect how we met and how you sold me insurance. What impressed me at that was your reply to my question, why you chose the insurance as your career. You told me, as follower as Buddhism, this was the only career you thought, could allow you to serve mankind in a way of giving him the protection he needs as he grows to face the world. Of course, I see it that every industry, in one form or another is a service oriented, whether it is banking, manufacturing, massage, etc, etc and so is the insurance. Since the time I met you three decades ago, we have had been in contact without much a long break. My policies had been matured many years ago and I no longer hold any policy with you but still our communication is alive and continuing. We have seen each other grow through the decades, you have not ceased your "services" to me. You are still sending me informative and motivational ideas and thoughts that suit my current age. You have helped in my financial needs. You ensured that my insurance was always alive during its tenure. Given me advices on handling problems related to family and business. So! In short, I want to say, you have lived to your words that you uttered to me three decades ago with your service to mankind. Best regards."

His letter was so appreciative that I almost cried while reading his contents. I started well and ended beautifully with the world. My belief - "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with our heart." I am sure my friend and me have felt it in our heart. Dato Merican thank you for allowing me to serve you for these three decades as a friend.

Meaningful stories can move heart & mind.

A good life insurance agent has many roles to play. First he has to be an effective salesman plus knowing how to be an actor while selling. On top of it, be an interesting stories teller to those he meets. Not many prospects like to meet salesperson but if an agent could sell like an actor who dramatizes with emotion and action, then everyone loves to see him. Actor talks with reality, whereas salesperson speaks with intention. Actor moves with feeling, whereas salesman commercializes fear. Actor makes you laugh and cry, whereas sales surely drain you dry. A professional agent who has much experiences in life, story tells more than he sells. An inexperienced agent hard sells on his products by explaining all the benefits. He might not even know his prospects are the least interested in his selling. Prospects are not drawn with excitement and acknowledgement. Chances are rejections could be higher than acceptances.

As far as I am concerned, I sell when I need to be but I love to act more than to sell. All my words are spoken with the right tune, meaning and purposes. I practised my role plays many times before I act to sell. Today my acting is part of my natural character when it became real and entertaining for those I interact. There is a saying, "A picture is better than a thousand words!" Similarly I believe, "A meaningful story moves the heart and the mind!" Is difficult to explain the need of life insurance by illustrating just the product benefits. Telling emotional true stories depicting death and suffering are much easier to understand for the purpose to solve mankind living problems. Stories excite with feeling. Stories moves all obstacles. Stories make things easier to understand. Stories help prospects to buy. So why just be a salesman to sell when we could act and be a good stories teller in our challenging career. I hope these little information could be useful to those who excel in selling life insurance.

Food for the thought - "Don't bother just to be better than your comtemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself" - Willian Faulkner

I promise to make her laughs and not cry.

I had seen many broken marriages and love relationship. Everyone of them started with a happy and interesting beginning but sad to see most ended with sorrowful ending. Love always has pleasure and pain. When one is having pleasure, love is beautiful and exciting. However life isn't grown with roses alone, because around the roses are surrounded with countless thorns. The roses look nice and smell sweet. In order to appreciate the beauty of the roses, we have to move carefully to avoid those thorns. Otherwise the thorns would create pain and frustration for sure.

Mr WantU and Miss NeedU are one couple I admire. They have be in love for a long time and I have not seen them quarrel at all. They are loving, understanding and forgiving. I asked them what are their secret for keeping such a wonderful relationship for so long. Both were frank to tell, it's impossible for any couples who could be living without having to face any misunderstandings at times. They tried their level best to love each other but quarrels and arguments are unavoidable in life. Miss NeedU had requested her partner a promise which Mr WantU promptly agreed. She asked, "Darling, as long as I live, can you promise that you are going to make me laugh and not cry?" This promise is fulfilled until today because Mr WantU had suggested to his partner, that should there be any serious misunderstanding during their lives time, their fights, arguments or quarrels should be discussed over within their closed bedroom.

It sounded funny to me with a closed bedroom. Mr WantU was kind enough to explain, all lovers could be hostile when they quarrelled but when they are kept within their love nests, hugging and kissing with each others solved all problems eventually. Usually their anger and frustration would end with a good intimate love making. As promised, Mr WantU had made his partner laugh again without tears.

Woh!!! That is certainly a marvellous way to maintain a good relationship. Make love and there will be no war. Thank you Mr WantU & Miss NeedU, I will follow your promise to make my little darling laughs and not cry as long as I live in this world. I have to tell her that our future unexpected fights have to be fought in a closed bedroom too.

Food for the heart - "To unblock the fountain of love and enter on the path of creative, spiritual growth, we must let go our fears." - Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

Giving rebate is a bad ethic in selling.

My fellow colleagues used to ask me, "what is the main factor that kept me successful in selling life insurance!" Not giving rebate is one of the key factors to keep me going successfully for these many years. Many new agents sold insurance by allowing discount, especially to their friends and relatives. Perhaps they wanted the sales more than anything else.

I came into this business all by myself, as I could see the potential and my future. After gathering all the necessary information, I decided to quit my previous employment and contracted as a full time agent with my present principle company until today. My family and friends even discouraged me at that time not to resign my so called permanent executive job. Those days securing a reputable employment wasn't easy. They suggested that I should sell life insurance only on a part-time basis. Nothing could stop me then because the confidence and enthusiasm I had, I know I would make it if I seriously worked on it. At the beginning, I was also hard pressed to give discount on sales make to friends. However politely I told them, if they take me as true friends, they should allow me to earn my entitlement because I had resigned from a good job to sell insurance. I had burned my bridge when there was no turning back. Although my selling wasn't as sharp and professional as of today, my humbleness and sincerity overruled most hearts. Of course, there were some who refused to buy without discount, but later they realised that they had done wrong.

The thousand of clients who had purchased life insurance from me, allows me to progress and to learn this wonderful business. I learned the up and down of the career. From not so smart I am a little wiser now. Not only I learned the job, I understand all aspects of life from the poor to the richest. I had seen the poor suffered and the filthy rich who have good taste of lives. I might not be rich, but my career allowed me to send all my children to further their education. I am only a salesman, but my job allowed me to see most parts of this world. I am only a life insurance agent, but my career allowed me to save many lives, who were critically sick or to make sure the families survived with dignity, when the bread winners had passed away in an untimely death. I give joy and hopes to all my friends and clients who are still living. All these are possible because I did not give any rebate to those who buy insurance from me, neither did I give discounted services and attention to my clients. They were the one who actually paid me to learn and to make sure I can stay permanently in this miracle business. Deep from my heart I speak, "Thank you very much to my supportive clients who have make me as what I am of today. I love all of you."

Food for the thought - "Be proper and sincere. Regardless of how others malign us, it's a chance to improve our characters even more.

Is your woman behind, besides or in front?

They used to proclaim, 'For every successful man, there is always a woman behind him'. Not today any longer. I prefer, 'For every successful man, there should be a lady besides him'. Those were the days, when man led and woman followed. He would be happy if his woman was naive and be obedient. As long as she served him willingly without complaint, the man would be satisfied. Today, we hardly see such women around, unless they are not normal healthy females. The present women are educated and very much career minded. They are intelligent and some are even very sophisticated in character.

As I said, I prefer to be successful with my lady beside me. The lady who stands beside me, I expect her to be intelligent, attractive, playful, motivated, independence, loving, kind, fun and understanding person. With her intelligence, she shares her thought with me. Her attractiveness excites me. Her playful nature keeps me young. When I am down at time, she motivates me. She is brave and courageous with independence. Her heart is full of love and kindness for me and others she knows. I won't be bored coz she always has fun and laughter. Most important she understands what I want. Thanks God, I am blessed with my little darling.

If you happened to have a woman in front of you, I think the success has to be given to the lady rather than to the man. Can't blame this to happen coz there are many successful women who also need men to follow as she leads. Those are the men who are naive, obedient and are willing to serve without complaint. So! What are you?

Food for thought - "Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open" - Sir James Dewar (1877 -1925)

Good sex relieves stress.

Sometimes you see your colleagues coming to work in the early morning with a long dull unhappy face. Do you know why? They might not tell you the truth but the chances are, either they did not sleep well or they didn't sleep because they didn't get what they wanted. Sex is part of adult needs. All healthy normal person has the desire for sex. If one was to suppress and to avoid having it, it might lead to frustration and dissatisfaction of the mind. The affected person might not tell his emotion but his facial expression shows.

CP is a friend who inspires everyone she meets. She starts the morning with cheers and smiles. She gets all her energies from her soul mate who understands her needs. Not like some couples who force themselves on sex , just for the sake to complete their obligation. Some even need to 'rape' their unwilling partners who are least interested in sex. CP and her mate explore their sex lives to a deeper level. Their excitement and satisfaction create contentment and happiness in their daily lives. I once asked CP how she maintains her success all these years. Her replied was, "To be successful, I must know how to relieve my stress and tension. The best way to get out of these burdens is by making good love with an understanding mate."

Sex isn't dirty, if only we know how to appreciate and apply it. Without it, we can still live but with good sex, we live better in many ways. So the next time, you want to have a happy and cheerful start for the day, make sure you have a good round of sex before you sleep.

Food for the heart - "Every day, I touch the world with love & kindness."

Do you review your insurance programs?

This particular title is written for my fellow colleagues who sell life insurance. Although I have been in this career for more than 26 years, I seldom came across prospects or not my clients who were adequately insured. Those who had few policies were always sold by various agents from different companies. Most of them could have terminated some old plans along the way, when they met new agents. "Agents came and went." Most younger agents were not serious in this profession. When they found a better job, they would just leave the business, leaving the customers alone for another agents to serve. Those who stayed longer could have turned to recruiting and training of new agents. They rather built new agents than to built clienteles. So at the end of the journey, clients are seldom being served with established agents who are focus and serious in retaining this business.

Most agents are trained to sell 'first policy' to whoever they meet. They prefer to see new prospects as a way out to increase their personal sales. Without them realising, they expose their existing clients to other agents to prospect and sell as well. Selling life insurance is a profession career which needs understanding of life. Each time when an agent who has secured a sale from a new client, he has to commit his life long career to the customer. He has to be successful, to learn and to develop himself for further knowledge to serve his client's needs and want. The first policy is the doorway to knowing the client. After that is how much he put his love and passion over it. He should know when and how to review his client's programs from time to time. Making sure that the clients' dreams and needs are fulfilled. And at all time, the clients' interest and attention should be taken as first priority. If this method of selling and commitment are practised, no client would move to another agent and company, because no another agent could be better than the one who serves so well with dedication. I might be much older than many agents around, I strongly believe no younger agent has the ability to discourage my existing clients to cancel or switch their current insurances to them. The simple reason is, I have proven myself that I can stay in this business as an agent even after more than 26 years. I have not been distracted but to remain as a faithful humble agent to those I sold, as I really love selling life insurance. I have an unwritten law that to sell and to remain only with one principle company until the end of my time here. How I wish my fellow colleagues could sell the way insurance should be sold.

Food for thought - "To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first" - William Shakespeare.

Life Insurance is never enough!

After selling life insurance for more than 26 yrs, I can confirm that life insurance is never enough for everyone as long as we live. It sounds funny that statement but I have the experiences to lay my claim on it.

I had sold many plans and repeated sales to my current clients. Averagely a client who is with me for more than 5 years, usually would be buying two to three policies through by hand. There are clients who carried twenty plans taken at various time with different needs. During these many years of selling, I had encountered countless claims. There were the death claims, sickness claims and hospital & surgical claims. On all these occasions, I would be the most respected and important person to the decease and their families. Because those were the times when money was needed most. It was the insurance claims that could solve their immediate problems.

I still remembered, at the beginning of my career when I wasn't competent on my profession yet, many who bought insurance from me, used to say that they don't need insurance as a cover. They claimed that they bought for the sake of obligation out of me. I wasn't happy at that time but I was not convinced to believe, in actual facts they needed the sales and the products more than me later. Today, each time when I handed over a death claim cheque to the decease's family, non ever complained that the payment was sinful money. The needed money brought hopes and joy. Deep down in their hearts, they wished it was more. The medical claims brought relieves to the sick who thanked me sincerely. I was like their saviour who was sent by the Almighty to enlighten them.

Death and sickness are life's problems but living too long is also another problem. When you live too long in life, you need the savings to maintain your retirement. The guys who told me twenty years ago, the ten or twenty or even the one hundred thousand dollars were considered small sum for saving in life insurance. Today, most of them who retired found that they had nothing except the saving in our life insurance taken years back. They might be cashing out the 50 or the 100 thousand only. They took the cash with tears because these money was so valuable to them at this moment. They had one regret, for not taking more life insurance when they could. Sometimes I wonder, whether they were at wrong or I had not done forceful enough to press my clients to save more in our miracle products. Believe me, life insurance is never be sufficient for you. Buy life insurance when you don't need it, when you need it, you can't buy!. I speak from my heart after selling this long to be convinced.

Food for thought - "The past is gone. The future is unpredictable. All we have is now. Make great use of it."

Love & Support Can heal.

I have seen Amrina grown since she was studying as a little girl. Her parents were my clients and great friends too. Later she left for Australia to pursuit her further education to become a qualified accountant. Eventually got married to an Australian. Last year on a routine medical checkup, she detected a small tumour and found to be cancerous. Immediate surgery was done to remove the necessary. The sickness caused her to be under pressure and chemotherapy was needed which might weaken her health. She had to resign from our potential career. Her mother is a medical doctor working in Malaysia, persuaded her to return home where her family could take care of her medical attention and care. The mum knew her daughter needed plenty of love and laughter in order to fight the unwanted illness. Treatments were definitely had to be given but without the confidence of herself, nothing could work on this weakening young lady.

Upon returning home here, I could see the parents were spending a lot of time to guide and assist the daughter in every way. The understanding mother had also purchased a small medical life insurance cover for her, when she first started to work in Australia. As promised in our policy contract, the sickness claim was paid promptly to her, after she had submitted all our medical requirements. The insurance money came very handy for her, when she could feel the sense of financial independence without having to bother her aging parents. She continued with her post treatments at nearby local hospital. Lately I was told she had left for India to visit her grand parents. Through Facebook, I could see her photographs taken recently. She looked gorgeous and attractive and I believe she has recovered. I trust, she has recovered so rapidly is because love and support were showered to all when she needed it most. Love was from those who knew her personally, especially her entire family. Financial support was from the insurance claim, which gave her the inner confidence and peace. She is a very lucky lady who could certainly smile now. I too felt contented as I am her agent, who witnessed the miracle of life insurance. Money to be paid when is needed most. May The Almighty blesses her good health and long lives.

Confucius said - "Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."

Happy Father's day

I received a wonderful present from my son abroad. He had written another similar title, Happy Father's Day on his blog, mobchina.blogspot.com. Yes! He was right! I had taught him the good and bad part of life when he was growing. Knowing just the good isn't sufficient because one has to understand the bad to appreciate what is good. I have been a good naughty dad to him since he was a baby. Today, I had breeded him as another good naughty person who is strong and independence to challenge the world. I know he has the abilities and strength to understand the meaning of life. I wish him a Happy Father's Day as well, as he has to teach his own children now from the other side of the world. I had done my part and I expect him to do his.

I take this opportunity to wish all my male heros a Happy Father's Day too. If you are reading my blog, I am sure you are one who is seeking for knowledge and learning to do well in life. I sincerely hope this little sharings on this blog can make all, a better father for our children.

Food for thought - "Nothing is thicker than the father blood for his children."

Confidence, Trust & Hope!!

I shared my experiences on this blog here and I do receive a lot of others sharing too. Someone sent me a simple text message which is meaningful and pleasant to read. I like to forward this title for the whole world to read as well.

"One day, the villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer everyone gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella. That's CONFIDENCE. When you throw an one year old baby in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him. That's TRUST. Every night we go to bed, we're not sure that we'll get up tomorrow, but we still have many plans for the coming day. That's HOPE. Have confidence, believe in God or The Almighty Universe and never lose hope! Have a nice day."

Junie Lim was the one who sent this wonderful message. Thank you so much. You reminded me again that confidence, trust and hope are important factors in our lives.

My sight deceives my feeling.

One man' meat is another man's poison is definitely true. In order to live young at 37 turning 36, I decided to dress young too. I walked into a shopping department with a much younger little lady. I told her to see whether I could pick the right colour and design for my shirts to blend my younger heart. It took me awhile to select a few aggressive shirts which I thought were specially young for my age. Without ado, I asked my little female companion to give me her frank opinion and view. Her response was, those were old fashion colourless shirts for the uncles and not meant for the thirties young men in town. I was caught speechless. In my mind I had to accept the facts and logic of this younger person words. My sight and thought were of older selection, even though I might have tried to think young by feeling. Whereas she is still relatively young in physical and mental at this moment of time.

Without arguing with her, I requested her to pick another selection of shirts for me according to her fancy. Out of my surprise, she selected some t-shirts and shirts which were of black and bright colours. Those were the colours I won't have taken for sure. With some persuasion from her, I took the courage to try and wear them in the changing room. Hey! I spoke to myself. I was taken aback with the new look of me. I was amazed, they really looked good and fresh in my outlook. I was excited and I bought all those clothing eventually. For the next few days, while I was wearing my new outfits I caught much attention from my friends and clients. My secretary claimed, "Boss! You look so handsome today." My little darling gave me her special kiss, "Sweetheart! I can't believe.. you are so young now."

From this experience, I know that to feel young isn't good enough in life. One has to feel young with courage and braveness and later to act on them. Like I said earlier, our sight could deceive our thoughts. Unless we know how to borrow strength from someone who could understand. Meaning, seek the young for their youthful energies and forces. In return share our knowledge and wisdom to the young who might not have our thoughts yet. The young and old need each other to grow and survive.

Food for thought - "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak" - Hans Holmann.

Why are you afraid to ask?

Over a recent party, some males and females were discussing the issue on intimate shyness. I was lucky to be invited to participate together on this private forum. Is good to be in love but not easy to maintain a loving relationship. Within a love relationship, there are many obstacles which many won't realise until later. For instance, how many females are daring enough to reveal their feeling to their male lovers. At the same times, all females expect males to lead and show their feeling first. Over our sharing, we realised not all males are brave but in actual fact, they are equally shy like the females. Especially when the man is in love with his woman, he finds difficult to confess to her intimately. Even though they might be seriously in love, when they have reached the skin to skin contact, both would still have a bit of shyness to reveal their needs and wants.

If the lady wants to make love, she might not dare to ask openly. Out of desperation, she could offer some hints or signals to her counterpart. If her lover is a 'doop', he might not even realise those seducing signs. Making her more frustrated and dissatisfied eventually. However most females would expect the man to ask or show his interest first. On the other hand, man could be brave in many ways, but on intimacy he also has the similar weakness like the woman. He finds it difficult to request for love making opening as well. Both sexes have the thoughts to make love but refuse to admit their needs and wants for fear without a reason. We concluded that this is considered as psychological shyness of all human being.

Among us, one related her story. Each time when she or her husband wants to have sex that night, either of them would place a bottle of essential oil besides their bed, indicating the needs. Some shared the touching of legs and hands while on bed, are similar indication of wants.

Of all the stories, I like to share with you this particular one here. A father was high on heat while the mother was washing the family clothing. He was too shy to tell his wife that he wanted to have sex with her that moment of time. He approached his little son. Please tell your mother that daddy is waiting in the room. 'The typewriter is there for her to type'. The boy told the mum the same words given. Mother understood the 'stupid' statement. Instead she told the son to relate her reply to his dad. 'My washing machine is temporary spoiled. You type your own typewriter!'

Love is beautiful when we know how to appreciate it. Love is admirable if we know how to express and communicate within us. The private forum allowed us to understand that the better way to be in love is to be frank with the one you are in love. Be brave to reveal your strength and weaknesses. Tell what you like and what you don't like. Explain your emotion in heart and in mind. Adjust the needs and wants according to both requirements. Shyness could be overcome, if only both lovers are prepared to talk it over intimately. Yes! There are many obstacles in lives but it is a challenge if we dare to face them willingly.

Food for the heart - "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

Rich and humble.

Kabeer is an old friend for more than 30 years. A successful publisher and a self made person who carries warm wherever he goes. As a likable man who often shared his knowledge and wisdom, I love talking to him. This afternoon we had a short chat together, when I learned some valuable insights from him.

As a devoted Muslim, whenever he prays, he seeks the blessing from The Almighty. He asks for this special request, "When I am rich, I must be more humble than today & everyday." According to him, money is the root of most evils, when money makes one to be arrogance without one realising. When one is poor, one could be kind and simple. Not when one is rich and has gained power, the same person could turn different. Humbleness is the greatest divine offering to the world. It is easy spoken but always difficult to achieve. I am so glad to have known this great simple friend, Kabeer, rich and successful and yet so humble in character. He melts those who could reach up to him. His final advice, "I must help people without people asking." This kindness of heart is almost not possible in most normal people. If you are, I believe you could have reached the highest level of enlightenment. Truly your heart and mind would definitely be happy and blissful in nature. Thank you my friend, for sharing the simple ways of life.

Food for thought - "Our true wealth is the good we do in this world. None of us has faith unless we desire for our neighbours what we desire for ourselves" - Muhammed.

Small knife cuts big trees & Small key opens big doors.

Teng is a successful real estate agent who understands the selling world. In Chinese he said, selling life insurance isn't an easy job. In proverb he remarked to me, a good professional life insurance agent sells with 'a small knife to cut a big tree'. Sounded very funny the short phrase but powerful enough to broaden our mind.

In real life, its' rather impossible to fall a huge tree by cutting with a small knife. However if you need to do it, a small knife could still cut the tree. First, you have to be patience, knowing very well the small knife isn't easy to perform a great task. The small knife has to be constantly sharpened with care. You have to be tolerance because along the way, there will be many obstacles while cutting the thick trunk of the tree. You have to be farsighted because you need a lot of time to cut slowly without loosing your determination. You need plenty of passion to understand the purpose of falling the tree. Your heart and mind have to be motivated all the time. Otherwise the external forces might deter you to continue. With time, destiny and energy, finally you realised that your impossible feat could be achieved. Just by 'a small knife to cut a big tree. Selling life insurance applies the same principles of the small knife. How true it is!

According to my friend, Teng, selling real estates is like 'a small key opens big doors'. A small key might not be able to open a big door but if one is prepared to open enough big doors, there would be one out of the many, one would get the right door to open. Dealing with real estates is the same. Teng is successful in his career because he had attempted to see many prospects and buyers in his selling. He might not have been successful all the time, but the few sizeable projects that he had concluded, made him very profitable today. He is right again, 'small key can open big doors'.

Something to be remembered by those who sell "Small knife cuts big trees & Small key opens big doors."

The pride of staying longer in my business.

It was such a joy to meet up with Simon Yee, a client and friend for almost 30 years. I brought him a cheque which he had not expected so soon. Twenty years ago, when Simon was still working as a self employed tailor, he effected an educational plan for his last daughter who was then a little infant. This particular month is exactly full 20 years when this policy is maturing for payment for the daughter. When Simon received our cheque, he was caught by surprised because without him realising, the twenty years had gone by so rapidly. We both remembered, it was not easy for him to effect this plan at that time, as he was only drawing a minimum income to survive. I was the one who knocked him hard, when he agreed to pay the little premium for the sake of his last child. During these past 20 years, he had his up and down of life. There were many occasions when time were bad that he wanted to terminate this cover. I had to sit down with him to provide alternatives and making sure the policy remain to stay. Thank God! I felt so proud to be still alive, healthy and still working as an active agent for him till today. I had honoured my promise that I would deliver my services no matter what happened. I had seen the child grown from a baby to be a pretty and intelligent student, studying currently in Australia. I felt great for the father and daughter, who had trusted me for this long.

When I handed this maturing cheque to Simon, I said,"I had make a mistake 20 years ago for not asking you to save more. Otherwise, I should have brought you another cheque with another zero added behind to this amount now." You know what Simon replied! He remarked, "I regretted for not buying more from you, Robert. Otherwise I should be receiving more today for my daughter. Anyway, thank you so much."

To my keen readers. Always remember, "Buy life insurance when you don't need it. When you need it, you can't buy!"

Essence of Words

We had heard of vanilla essence, durian essence, strawberry essence but have you been told there is 'Essence of Words'. All fruit essences have the taste and flavour of its juicy. Similarly Words of Essence, if written and spoken effectively, one will be able to taste them, smell them and feel them, like as though electricity is running all through our bodies. The essence of words could pump your heart to beat faster than normal. Essence of words gives endorphin to our listeners, which energises them with a positive reply and respond. Using the appropriate words at different occasions, professions, relationships, businesses and families reflex good manner. Most of us do not practise or rather forgotten the courteous way to write and speak. Essence of words is powerful, which brings the closeness of relationship to another level.

One typical example here. A male friend was a bit disturbed because his girlfriend wasn't able to spend time with him on a Sunday. In order to cheer him up, I encouraged him to send a little message to her. On behalf of him, I wrote; "Darling I know you are busy today. How I wish we can hold hands and visit some friends together.. Especially on a Sunday when it should be a relaxing day.. to laugh and humour, to talk grand mother's stories or just chat, to rub bodies or allow someone to massage us, fun and casual drive to nowhere, to explore the unknowns, to disturb and have fun with others, swimming or exercise, searching for new hawker's food, showing you my past memory lanes, to shop until dead, walk until I have to carry you, sweat till I leak them dry for you, chase monkeys in the parks, catch fishes in the ponds, catch spiders in the wild, see how the lizards make love, I be Tarzan and you be Tarzanie in the forest, let me romance and fantasize you with excitement and let us try what we have never tried before. After all, we would not be able to come back again to this world. We have only one live. So make the best we can darling. Remember..live the uncommon way and others will be admiring us. Not us following others! Do u like to tuck onto my life journey and be with me today, Sunday."

The young man was amazed with the little massage which turned longer than thought. He was a bit concerned but I assured him, these are the Essence of Words which could be tasted, smelled and felt when read. A minute later came this reply from her, "Wahhhhhh...u are really a great salesman, talker and lover. Anyway I love u as what u are. Yes babe if you allow me to join your life path..I would be the most happy and excited woman in the whole wide world.."

See! The Essence of Words had connected both lovers to a greater intensity. Creativeness and courage are necessary to express these essence of taste, smell and feeling in written form.

Evan Esar - "You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." Phrase was shared to me by a good friend, Jarod Lee of lifeandmotivation.blogspot.com

Love is in the air.

One of my lady friend asked, why am I so happy lately. I told her, I am feeling on top of the world coz I have found an interesting love in heart. She wanted to know whether I am in love and how to be in love when I have reached my golden age. When I was young, I was a young lover but now I am a mature lover who understands the beauty of love in every sense.

Young lovers are playful, romantic but lack the knowledge of life. The playfulness in them makes them to explore the unknown and the excitement. Their youthfulness creates a marvellous romantic setting for them. They have all the energies to stimulate each other. However their understanding of life is a little shallow because they are still too young, when they have not tasted enough the salt of love. To them, love is romance and sex only, when love has so much to ask for in return.

As I am a mature lover, I gain the wisdom of life to love my little darling who is so comfortable with me in every way and moment. Most man of my age could have lost the jest of playfulness and wittiness in character. Not me! I have the heart of 37 and turning 36 next year. Playfulness needs to be courageous, which in turn makes me a man of fun and humour. I make everyone laughs, including my little darling who loves my company. No doubt, I had made a lot of mistakes in life but I do accept that my past mistakes were my teachers. They taught me to appreciate life and to understand the beauty of love. Sex is only one part of love. The most important is to cover myself with a full blanket of love, which my little darling can tuck in together. Although the blanket of love could be a simple one, but added with patience, tolerance, care, kindness, fantasies and plenty of understanding, it allows us to sail a journey of happiness till the end.

Whether you are a young lover or mature lover, it takes two to tango together to achieve true happiness. If you are a younger lover, learn to be patience and have tolerance in love. For the mature lovers, be brave and learn to be playful again. Without the wittiness in you, love would definitely be dull and boring. Or if you are not in love, I am sure there is a soul mate waiting for you there outside. Just go out and give yourself a chance to fall in love once more.

The happy thought by Haim Ginott - "Happiness... is not a destination. It is a manner of travelling. Happiness is not an end in itself. It is a by-product of working, playing, loving and living."

Proper lady undergarment creates sense of pride.

I never realised lady undergarments are so important to females, until I spoke to a lady who specialises on this professional trade. According to her, a beautiful dress won't be complete without a proper brassiere and pantie. Most branded undergarments are not cheap and only the successful women are prepared to purchase these products. A good bra and pantie would lift the confidence of a lady. Although they could not be seen from the outside, the lady who wears them could feel the grip and the feel, which eventually creates the attractiveness and sexiness of her personality. To those females who do not understand, might try to save by buying cheaper undergarments or not bother to change, even though their bras and panties are badly worn out. They thought the outer clothing is more important than the inside wears. They rather spend more of the dresses to look attractive than the unseen bras and panties.

According to this specialist, those ladies who wear expensive undergarments are usually the well spoken one. They are independence, aggressive, intelligent, sociable, lovable, likable, attractive, sexy and a class above those women who do not appreciate wearing the beautiful selected undergarments.

If you are a man who wishes to look for these types of lady, don't just judge your woman from her external clothing, attempt to see her bras and panties she wears as well. Take the trouble to see how she purchases her wearing or perhaps check at her home when she is washing her clothes. A perfect lady is the one who knows how to take care of herself inside out. I am too lucky to have my little darling who always spend time to shop for selected undergarments. Now I know, why she is so sexy, intelligence and attractive because these products have actually created her a sense of confidence that leads her to be successful today.

My story might sound a bit weird but these are information not written and unspoken before and I hope they are useful to ladies who seek for some betterment in inner look.

My belief - "Confidence of your physical and mind, brings success in your doing."

Suggest, don't criticise!

Suggestion is better than criticise. Suggestion has understanding,whereas criticise creates anger. When I was much younger, I tend to criticise and I did not gain support then. With a little wisdom of today, I tried to suggest more in life and I tend to gather more strength.

Those days, when a good friend turned up late, I would criticise his bad punctuality. Instead the criticism led to anger and quarrel. Today if a friend is late, I try to be patience and give him the benefit of doubt. I prefer to suggest a better way to ask, "I am sure your late could be due to some unforeseen matters. Perhaps call us the next time, if you can't make it in time. Will you?" No friend will be angry with that approach.

Last time, I would criticise my sons for being not responsible in any undertakings. I felt sad eventually because the criticism turned frustration between us. My children might not talk to me for days later. With a little wisdom of today, I have changed to suggesting instead of criticising. With a bit of humour I would say, "Son, as you are a brilliant boy who has a caring heart, I am sure if you put all your effort into this assignment, you will be able to complete it. Right?" The job was done in perfect condition.

I am writing my blog now when my little darling has gone to bed without waiting for me. In fact earlier we were thinking to have intimacy tonight. Now she has slept while I am alone. Shall I criticise her tomorrow and tell her on the face. If I do it, I know she will be annoyed and I might not have her for the next one week together. The better way is suggestion. I would smile and say, "Darling, I know you were tired last nite and slept earlier. How I wish you were waiting for me while I blog. With you around me, don't you think I can write better. Coz your intimate love can excite me, dear!" Don't you think, it sounds better?

Oprah Winfrey - "Turn your wounds into wisdom."

How to overcome and strengthen love relationship!

My recent article, 'Love has no comparison' captured some interest from many readers. One of them, Red Lavender was kind enough to add some details sharing on her past experiences plus ways to overcome setback with love relationship. Her sharing was written on the comment's column and with her permission, she agreed to allow me to post it again on today's title.

Red Lavender wrote, those that cannot be measured soon will need to be measured some how, some where... so I started the "5 words to describe your relationship"...and for the first glance my heart blurt few... but limit to 5 first.

Experienced

1. deceit

2. no respect

3. friendship

4. to give, not takes

5. mentally tortured

Searched for

1. genuine

2. trust

3. sincerely honesty

4. soul mate

5. spiritual

Observed

1. tired (becoming fake)

2. empty, uncomfortable

3. fear

4. jealous

5. need to please (not sincere)

Fear

1. felt rejected

2. deceit

3. unintentional behaviour

4. cannot trust

5. lifeless (dead, no feeling)

Bonus

1. to change

2. energetic

3. agreeable

4. prefect

5. aware of new requirements

Reduce/Don't

1. ego

2. status review

3. yell at each other

4. curse

5. "ownership" syndrome

Dos

1. self control in all aspect

2. achieve one new things occasionally

3. spontaneous and joke

4. grow together and survive

5. review to improve

Hope this will make a different view of how to manage relationships...remember... we cannot do it alone... things don't just happen by coincidence...it happens because we allow them to happen.

PS.. Thank you for your contribution Red Lavender

Selling Life Insurance is like a preacher.

Some of my younger colleagues were curious why my selling was so simple and yet so effective. They had to talk so much and yet could not close at times. Whereas I spoke little and my clients responded. To make them realized, I explained the progress of a willing preacher who is just like an exciting rookie life insurance agent.

A new young preacher has to carry his bible to explain his belief. Perhaps he has to speak in length, he has to refer the written pages and proverbs, he has to speak with his sincere heart, and yet not many would believe his words. With his strong desire towards the spiritual reach, he might convert some followers to his faith gradually. Along the way, he could have been rejected countless times, he could have been scolded by many and laugh upon with his unproven belief. When his determination is strong, nothing could stop his path of preaching. From rank and file, he rises humbly with more followers to acknowledge his wisdom of holiness. At this stage of his spiritual strength, he needs not carry his bible in hand to preach and conduct services. His smiles are pleasant to all, his eyes have the love to attract, his mouth has the sweetness to melt your heart and his movement capture attention. He has the charisma to create energy to those who surround him. His rare personality offers you enthusiasm which could reach your heart and mind by just touching you with a few added words of love. If ever one is being blessed by the Pope himself, he might just have to say five words, "My child, I bless you!". I believe these powerful but simple five words can make you cry with enlightenment. He needs not has to spend much time with you and yet you will be contented to accept his blessing. Time has certainly changed his fame and success in the spiritual world.

I was just like the young preacher 26 years ago when I first started to sell life insurance. Those days, I had to carry all the information needed to prove to my prospects. I had to visit them few times each, I had to speak for hours, I had to offer various proposals or plans option, I had to speak my heart, and yet not many agreed to buy from me. However with sheer determination and strong guts, I improved my selling methods. I built confidence and trust along the way. Gradually I shortened my selling time to close each case. Today, I speak lesser on insurance matters and I need not elaborate in details on the plans, but yet clients would be too happy to buy from me. I believe my personality reflexes the creditability and confidence that assisted me to close my sales easier. Perhaps if I could still sell life insurance in another 10 years, my sales would be of only 5 words. They are, "Child, please take life insurance!" and clients would be just too glad to sign. Believe me, it will work, if only the agents could stay long enough in this passionate career. We are like the preachers who sell hopes and so am I.

The phrase I will never fail to remember - "Its not how much we do, but how much we put in the doing. Its not how much we give, but how much we put in the giving." - Mother Teresa.

Love has no comparison.

Is sad to see many broken marriages as I go along working in my career. With the current environment, when both husband and wife work, many misunderstanding of life do happen. I saw them as my clients when they first got marry and later sought for separation. I witnessed many life insurance agents who came into this career but ended unhappily with filing for divorce.

From my observation, most broken marriages were affected by lack of understanding in love relationship. The first rule in any relationship, love has no comparison. The man cannot compare how much his woman loves him nor the woman compares her earning against her man. If they do have these emotional thoughts, certain amount of dissatisfaction would definitely arise. Either the man might be upset, like accusing her for not spending enough time for him. Or the woman might degrade her man who is earning less than her. Comparison is the threat to good relationship.

Second rule in a relationship, there is no winning and no losing because love is not a contest. You love more to win over your partner and not to love more for winning to possess your lover. After all love cannot be measured in any way, neither can you quantify the amount.

To fall in love is easy but to maintain in love is difficult. Either you learn from your mistakes or learn from another person mistakes to avoid a happy relationship. I sincerely hope the above information could be relevant to those who are still in love.

Food for the heart -"There are two worlds; the world that we can measure with line and rule, and the world that we feel with our hearts and imaginations." - Leigh Hunt

Tipping is a manner.

Everyone wants prompt and efficient services but most are reluctant to tip for services rendered. I always believe tipping is a manner. Tipping is to appreciate and to encourage others to serve better. Is sad the Asian is lousy tipper compares to the Westerner.

My little darling knows I tip everyone who serves us. Last night, she was dinning with her entire family, when she was spending RM 200 on the bill. She only gave 90 cents as balance tips to the waiter. She asked me whether she had tipped right. I told her, tip any amount as long as she felt comfortable. Most important she must tips without pain in her heart. She tipped to appreciate the services given. She tipped to encourage the workers to work even harder. I was glad she had tipped willingly. She should have given another RM 2 to make the waiters happier. Right?

There is some unwritten tipping rules and guide lines. I think the minimum tip is 3% against the bill. The rest is up to the individual on how he thinks. Even if you are not happy with the services rendered, tip to the minimum as a manner. However if the services are marvellous and you are totally satisfied with them, it is appropriate to tip more than 15%. Is like telling the person who serves, 'you have done a good job, please keep it up'.

A person character could be determined by the way he tips. If one doesn't tip at all, I think most likely he could be a great miser. He wants others to serve him, yet he doesn't understand the manner to go around. These are the selfish people who want the best of themselves, without thinking of others need and interest. To those who tip by the little or the left over of coins are not too bad. They want to tip but not willingly yet. They have a disturbed mind and a doubtful heart. There are those who tip generously to appreciate and to encourage the servers. These are truly the class who have the good heart for others to live and to survive. Saving those little tipping isn't going to make them rich. But the little tips could brighten those who serve. The saying is right; 'Penny smart, Pound foolish'.

Phato - "Never discourage anyone - who continually makes progress, no matter how slow."

The nicest feeling I've ever known is being in love.

I think the highest form of happiness is when one is truly in love. The heart sparkles with joy and the mind stimulates with excitement. The face grows with blissfulness and the eyes are sweet as ever. The feeling is like you are on top of the world. You see the world as beautiful and meaningful. Nothing will stop you to reach the impossible. If you are in love at the moment, let your mate knows. Tell her or him. If you are shy, send a card to express your feeling. I assure you, those words will create magic to bond your love greater.

I was lucky, my little darling hand picked a special greeting card to me. The first page was written; "The nicest feeling I've ever known is being in love with you." Wooooh!!! Those few words melted my heart. I could not wait to turn the main page for more wording.

It was written as followed.

To my dearest sweetheart Hero Robert....

Thank you for these feelings.

For bringing me happiness as though it were a gift I could open everyday... I thank you.

For listening to the words I want to say... I appreciate you.

For letting me to share the most personal parts of your world, and for welcoming me with your eyes... I am grateful to you.

For being the wonderful, kind, giving person you are... I admire you.

For being the most beautiful light in my life... I desire you.

For being everything you are to me, and for doing it so beautifully... I love you.

From your little darling.

Although it was only a hand written card, it had touched my heart, so deep that words alone could not be expressed. If it could create happiness to me, I believe it can with others as well. Love has no obstacle and barrier. Love is free but it should be given willingly without condition. If you love someone, why hold back. Be brave! Tell that person now and miracle of love will appear in front of you immediately.