Taiwanese prefers jail to a nagging wife .....

WHY MARRY?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
----------
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am.. I married the wrong man.' 
_______
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
______
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
---------
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
--------
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
---------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 
---------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
---------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all. 
---------
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' 
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' 
---------
'A Woman's Prayer: 
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man ,
to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
xxxxxxxxxx

The above jokes were all collected through the years from my friends. I taught they were just for laugh, until I read the newspaper today. Please continue to read the real facts of life.....

A TAIWANESE man who found his nagging wife unbearable decided to stage a robbery so that he could go to jail to avoid her, Nanyang Siang Pau reported.

The 36-year-old restaurant owner, identified only as Bai, entered a convenience store in Taichung city, Taiwan, recently and shouted at the workers: “I am here to rob. Call the police!”

Bai kept insisting that they call the police.

Then he bought a packet of cigarettes and smoked outside the store, while waiting for the police to arrive.

He was released by the police later when they found out that he had no intention to commit a crime.

This article is from The Star Online (http://thestar.com.my)
URL: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/22/nation/12352619&sec=

Late night call to the Vet .....

Sunday laugh.... See whether it works for you.....

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "on heat', agreed to look

after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbours were on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs

apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs

locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"It just worked for me," he replied.

Not afraid to grow old....

Are you afraid to live too long in life? I used to ask many old age friends, around the sixties and above this scary question, and their answers are... "Yes!" Meaning, they wished not to live too long because they are afraid to be a nuisance to their family, when their health might be a big problem. 

I have two distanced relatives, I so called them as uncle. Both passed their age of 90 and above. Their wives had passed away few years ago. When they were around, husband and wife would quarrel all the time but now that the wives had gone, they wish the women could still be around. Reason... They have no one to talk to. Though both men are healthy and have no serious illness, they are lonesome in mind and soul. At their age, all their good friends had left this world. Those days, these senior citizens might group together to chat or to play mahjong to pass time happily. As time passed, these old folks got sick and unable to move. Later they just disappeared, leaving this single old man alone. Each day these two uncles have to wait for their sons to come home to accompany them. Otherwise without their sons, they practically have no one to talk to. The grand children are afraid of them, the daughter in laws do not know how to communicate with these stubborn old men and the sons are busy with their businesses. So at the end, they live in a lonely world without friend or families. They wish to die sooner and yet they can't. So to live too long in life could be a suffering!

What about me? No! I am not afraid at all, I am looking forward to reach 85 and see the glamour out of me then. To overcome boredom and lonesome, one must have a lot of good friends besides his family members. Today I have friends ranging from 85 years old to 15 years young. In fact I have more younger friends below my age, rather than those older than me. In 20 years time, all my friends would also be older by 20 years. The one who is 15 today will be 35 then, and I would make sure he or she would still be my good friends. So! If non of my sons are interested to talk to me in twenty years later, I rest assure there are enough younger people to stay around with me at that time. The secret of mixing with younger people is to lower my pride and self esteem. Speak to them like a brother if they are male and talk to the girls like they are all your dears, honeys or darlings. With all these younger people, how could I be getting old. No way! Thus, I am not the least be scared to live up to 100. 

So true - "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art" 

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Lower our expectation....

I love eating Wan Tan Mee, Chinese noodle. However the original taste of this noodle food is no longer available in our township. All the stores or food courts selling them are tasteless. There is one typical Chinese restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, specialising in wan tan mee is still operating. It's a family business brought down by the grand father, and currently is run by the third generation. Yesterday I purposely drove down to this shop for my lunch and I hadn't been there for quite awhile.

When I was at their place, I was shocked to see only foreign employees working. Except the cashier, I believe could be the boss himself and two Chinese local supervisors who only took orders from the customers. The entire restaurant was practically managed by foreign workers. I saw three Indonesian women  preparing drinks, and three Bangladeshi Cooks preparing the food. I couldn't imagine Chinese food, especially wan tan mee was prepared by foreigners. How could these workers understand the process of the noodle's preparation, and know the taste buds of our locals! My plate was served with the right setting, noodle, meat and soup. BUT! When I started to eat, I realised the taste and the quality was totally different. There you are, gone are the best wan tan mee of Kuala Lumpur. Looking around, I could see people were still pouring in to order this noodle. Perhaps the younger people of today had not ever tasted the original taste of the yesteryear noodle, while I was lucky when I had tasted it 50 years ago. To them this shop is still the best for this type of noodle. High time that I should lower my expectation in life.

Sylvia Plath proverb said - “If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”  BUT! Can this include food??? You tell me please?

You are important to me......

Selling tips..

Never never pick up a coming calls when you are facing and talking with your customers. It might be urgent, is still practical to avoid them. Whenever calls are ringing over my hand phone, I will tell the person in front of me this... "The call might be from the PM, he has to wait because you are more important to me at the moment." Believe me, that statement really helped me to close many unexpected sales. 

The right way to give your name cards.

Selling tips,

Name cards are important, especially when you are in business or in sales. The name card is your identity, representing your company and yourself. Now! When you are out doing business, where do you keep those cards. For the ladies, they normally would be keeping them in their handbags. And for the gentlemen, do you keep few of these name cards inside your wallet? From my observation, most salesmen would handover their cards from the wallets which are always kept at their back pockets. Right? Men have their pants which are tailored with two handy pockets at their back. On the right is where they put their wallets, and on the left we normally have a handkerchief. 

To me, I never keep my name cards inside the wallet. Personally I feel is not a proper manner to give out name cards from your backside. It's rude and doesn't look appealing to the one who receives your identity. I always keep my name cards inside a small folder or pocket diary which I put inside my front shirt pocket. My cards would be given out from the front, almost like from the heart I give them out. Is more sincere and polite to give them from the heart. Plus give them out with a smile with two hands together. This gesture is the most effective way of giving out your identity, especially to those who might be meeting you the first time. I have been doing it ever since I was a salesman forty five years ago. I really works. Please try.

Roses have thorns

A true story of my childhood friend, from rag to riches.

Those days it wasn't easy to be promoted to the form six (Pre U standard). We had to pass well in our Form Five Senior Cambridge before we could get a seat in form six. I just barely passed with a grade three result as I was never good in studying. What do you expect from me! After all by nature I was naughty till today. Right? Not my friend Chan who was poor and yet he scored excellent results, and the next year he went over to sit for his form six. After our form five, most of our classmates were already working but Chan was still pursuing his education. Two years later after Chan took his examination, while waiting for his result, the parents were unhappy that he had wasted too much time studying. They wanted him to work, so that he could support the brothers and sisters. Those days there was no part-time job, and getting an office job wasn't easy either. One day while he was walking home, he saw a big poster seeking for general workers. Out of desperation he walked over to the construction site, spoke to the site supervisor who immediately gave him a job as a casual worker. Though the work was tough, he was happy because he could bring home some money for his family.

Within weeks Chan became popular among his fellow workers. He was the most educated man there, who spoke many languages and dialects, especially English and he could read and write Chinese as well. Soon he was spotted by the big boss too. The boss himself was not an educated person, was amazed with Chan's academic qualities. Knowing his good command of English, the boss had to borrow his translation whenever he needed to see high ranking people. From a casual worker,  he rose to be the site supervisor. Later he became a sub contractor and less than two years he became a main contractor himself. He could rise so fast and rapid because he understood the entire construction industry. He could feel for the workers because he started right from the bottom like them. He could think like an engineer or an architect because he spoke their language. He was humble and prepared to work hard. Ten years later he migrated to America as a Millionaire. From reliable sources Chan is a multi billionaire now.

"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns: I am thankful that thorns have roses" - Alphonse Karr. Not Chan. Right?