Friday, December 31, 2010

Childlike naughtiness.


Are you the naughty one? I mean clean naughtiness without disturbing others. I believe everyone has some naughtiness in us, except most are reluctance to reveal their true identities. Few are brave and not the least be bothered by what others see in them.

These are what i gathered from my blogging. Most readers love reading my dirty jokes and cartoons, women likes romance and not many darn to show themselves in my comment's column. I have a tracking station to locate these traffics. Believe me, clean articles aren't very well received. The more playful and witty i wrote, the more they enjoyed my sharing.

Life has always being covered with a face mask when you thought your friends are the serious one. Not true you know! I have two clients, one is religious and the other is a politician behave a perfect person without nonsense, until one day they received some of my pornography emails. They became excited and begged me to send them more because they never had a chance to see them before, as no friend was brave enough to forward such emails to them.

I really don't know how you term me? Am i playful and naughty to you? Yes! I am naughty but i am the truthful one who would not hide behind the unwanted face mask of life. I think the one who darn to show his naughtiness without fear is usually honest and jovial. The good part of life is when you are honest and jovial, you tend to live a happier and fruitful life.

Moral of my story:
Is not wrong to be naughty at time when you are trying to make others happy. Be brave to do the things you like. Why hide under your shell when you have the choice to show the world of what you are. Don't be too serious in life.

My new resolution for 2011: To stay more naughtier as ever making the world more merrier to live.

My strongest belief
-"An honest man is always a child." - Socrates

Thursday, December 30, 2010

RIGHT SPEECH ...............


There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered,'You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?




A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

Food for thought - "When love is not madness, it is not love" ~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

All couples in love should read.....


TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

Food for thought - “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved” - George MacDonald quotes

Monday, December 27, 2010

How compatible are you?

Is fat & fat compatible or fat & thin be better!!! I wasn't sure, until a wise old Malay friend told me these. A fat wife and a fat husband might find it difficult to conceive pregnancy, neither is a fat man and a slimmer woman but for something to happen a fatter lady has to look for a thinner man. If you don't understand, please refer to the bottom illustration. Yes! You can laugh but it's true fact of life. A thinner man has the posibility to make babies on a fatter woman.
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They said.... "Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable" - Gleason, Jackie

Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Christmas Heart........


What is Christmas to me?

When i was in school, Christmas was holiday to us when all our examinations had concluded. We laid off the books and need not to study for two whole months before a new school term begins. The holidays gave us ample time to prepare parties, learning those latest dances of those days to impress the attending girls who were invited for the fun events. Xmas was parties over parties.

Later when i started to work, Christmas was still considered as holiday to me. As Xmas is always the most celebrated seasonal festival for everyone, i loved this day because i need not work for half the month of December when most sales ended for the year. Xmas was getting drunk when i care less what was happening, until the next year comes.

To recall the past, Christmas those days were happy and exciting because i was amusing myself all the time. What is Christmas to me today? I wish all my friends, clients, relatives and to the whole world that there is peace and joy for everyone.

In silence i pray, i wish Wan my reader from The East Coast to be a successful father and husband, and be a wealthy business man. In sincerity i pray, I wish Lai Har my great fan of my blog to have a soul mate to keep her company. In humbleness i pray, i wish my new found sister, RL from Brunei to get marry to Ching Ai by the coming year. In eagerness i pray, i wish Dipa Rani from India be famous with all her written poetry and poems. In heart i pray, i wish all my dears, honeys and all my lady friends to be beautiful and pretty wherever they are, especially my little darling, because if women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. In mind i pray, i wish all my sons and all my male friends to be healthy and cheerful no matter what happened, be naughty a bit, after all we are man. In desire i pray, please the Almighty Universe let me have the skill and strength to write and share my wisdom of life on my blog everyday if impossible. Christmas to me today is to think great of others.

Food for thought - "Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart" -- George Matthew Adams

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Merry Christmas' Naughty Joke.....


I wish all my readers A Happy Merry Christmas. It's celebration time where fun is all round. Lets laugh and be cheerful. For a start let me share a joke for the day with you if you happen to be reading my blog today......

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep..

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

If you could laugh, then you are in Xmas mood for sure. Have fun.....Yippee Yippee Holiday!!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

My client took me for granted............

Selling tips....

When your prospects or clients do not turn up on their appointments, what would you do? I am sure you would be disappointed, sad or even frustrated. Are you going to see them again?

To me, any person who doesn't honour his promise to meet, when appointment is confirmed, is a person who has no principle in life. He considers his time as paramount important, whereas he takes for granted time belonging to others. He doesn't even bother to inform, or at least leave a message if in case emergency does happened. When a person who has no principle in life, he tends to disrespect another person, he might be a big bully, he works without ethic and rule, he is difficult to be satisfied, he is an unappreciative man and usually he is also an unhappy person.

What should i do? I always avoid this type of people and i try not to deal business with them. Knowing them makes my life miserable, when i should concentrate on customers who are sincere, have integrity and mutual respect for each other.

So! In case if a prospect who misses his first appointment with you, please consider it's lucky for you. Because you don't have to waste time on him as a client later. Cut him off totally in business. Okay?

Some cheeky agents asked, what happened if is a first blind date. Alamah! Caught here!!! Try this then. If the man is late, chuck him off again but if the pretty and sexy lady is very late, wait lah for her. Haha!!!

Food for thought -
"The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is" - Oscar Wilde

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Do you have the personal touch?


I was in the office opening a lot of recent mails unread. There were two birthday cards sent directly to me from two senior directors of our company. As they are considered my bosses, i felt nice to have them writing to me. Excitingly i unfolded the envelops, eagerly wanting to read their wishes to me.

The first card was from this gentleman, (sorry lah can't reveal the name to you guys here) has been working with us for more than 15 years. It's quite a standard birthday card, specially printed by the company. On the card, he beautifully signed his signature with 'Dear Robert' written by hand on top. Of course for a moment, i was happy to read his birthday message. As i love reading other people's signing and writing, i noticed the two words, 'Dear Robert' aren't the same style of font against his signature. Furthermore the ink on 'Dear Robert' is darker than his signing. With these comparisons, i could confidently say, this Director didn't write my name himself. I guessed he had pre-signed all the birthday cards, and his secretary was the one who wrote our names and dispatched out according to our birth date. The moment of happiness was adjusted to not so happy after all. I could sense the director isn't sincere. For the sake of sending out birthday card, he did it without the commitment and passion on his part. Conclusion: there is no personal touch.

The second card was different. It was signed aggressively, with my name and my birth date written by the undersign himself. I could feel he is sincere and honest, and willing to reach up with me. This gentleman is only two years with us, and he is already the number one man of our company. Though he is busy and fully occupied all the time, he still has the few minutes to write our names. That makes him different from others with his personal touch.

I wish my second boss has this -
"If you have much, give of your wealth; If you have little, give of your heart" --Kahlil Gibran

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The qualities of being good.


They said to be a good person, one has to be Sincere, Harkworking and Compassionate. But be careful, because having all these three qualities of life alone might also be dangerous.

A too sincere man might be taken for granted by his girlfriend, or too hardworking a staff might be overused to the extreme or too compassionate a person might have to give more than expected. Personally i think sincerity, hardwork and compassion alone works well in the religious path but in the corporate world it's definitely not enough to cope with the challenging needs.

They said three things could destroy a person, namely Pride, Greed and Anger. If you are a prideful man, no perfect lady would be attracted to him. Similarly a greedy employer won't get good employees. And an angry man is a hungry man who would have less friends.

Good isn't enough! Good and with experiences, a person knows the different of these six words in application might have more understanding with our complicated world. Mix them together Sincerity, Hardwork, Compassion, Pride, Greed and Anger, they become Wisdom of Life. So my dear reader what have you got?

I like this proverb -
"If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy" -- Ancient Proverb

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Birthday is the sweetest day of the year.


Guess which is the sweetest day of the year for anyone? Xmas or New Year could be an important day for everyone, but your birthday is the most special for oneself.

On my recent birthday, i received a most wonderful present from my three sons. One is still staying with me, and the other two elder brothers are abroad, shared to buy this unexpected tool of joy. They must had been cracking their brains what is the most ideal gift for their dad. Following my footstep, they learned to make others happy, especially on some one's birthday.

Unfolding the gift box, i was delighted to see a brand new Apple iPad which i had thought about it ever since it was launched recently in Malaysia. Wow! Sons... you really know your dad's mind. You guys really make me young again like kids. Can you remember... When all of you were still in the teenage year, dad had bought each of you those Casio Palmtops? Those days computer wasn't even available yet, and Casio was the brand leader then for storage of simple data information. I could still remember buying those Palmtops from Hong Kong made all my children go wild and crazy then. Now is my turn to go crazily happy for receiving this present from my children. The next few days the Apple iPad could take me for a long exploration with its new features to learn. Yes! Thank you sons. You certainly have made my birthday a happy one indeed.

Specially for my sons - "There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know" - Lewis Carroll

Specially for the ladies -
“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age” - Lucille Ball quotes

Monday, December 20, 2010

Young only once.


Mrs Sabrin gave up her profession as a medical doctor seven years ago when she had a first child. Her doctor husband was too happy then because the family would be well taken care. At the beginning, things worked out pretty good with only one little darling in the house to play with. Today, the family has grown from three to five now. They have three children aged seven to three.

I thought Sabrin should be much happier because she has two princes and one princess to care for. The last visit at her home, i could see she was exhausted and unhappy. She has lost her calmness and confidence in dealing with her growing family. While having a short chat, she threw her sorrow over a remark, "I have to drive all my kids to various classes each day. Even weekend won't be spared, when i have to take them for swimming, music class and more. I am a no paid driver." I could sense she is really an unhappy mother.

Though i didn't say a word to her when i was in her house. Later when i came home, i sent her a text message. It was written as, "Our children could only be young once. Have fun with them when they are still young coz when they are older, you will never be having such fun again."

I sincerely hope Sabrin would get my message right.

Food for thought -
"You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough" - Lewis, Joe E.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

WAIT FOR ME !!


Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye .
After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.
Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small miss.
Me, my mother and my father, we sleep On the same bed.
Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?'
Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye."

So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".
The following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief.
But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again.
"My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?"
He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still.
Then my father and my mother started moving{you know} at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"...
Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?'
Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'.
They don't usually go anywhere without me so i said 'Wait for me...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The poor groom who just got married....


This can happen to any man on the street.....

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So, he announced, 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.'

Then, he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.'

The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter..........

All except the poor Groom!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Time really flies.......


Selling tips....

Twenty years ago i sold an endowment policy to Simon. Yesterday i personally hand delivered the maturing cheque to him. Over the lunch i told my great friend that i am happy and sad to see this payment meant for him today.

He was wondering why i was sad!!! I told him the happiness first. I felt extremely happy and proud because i was the agent who sold him this plan and i am still around to handover the full payment as promised 20 years ago. I didn't fail him, neither did i change my profession though there were many a time i was almost tempted to leave this challenging career for something else. I remain focus, sincere, honest, loyal and willing to serve no matter what happened. Thanks God! HE let me stay to survive. More so my client, Simon is also still around to enjoy this retirement benefit.

Simon couldn't wait to know why i was sad. I was rather sad because i didn't exert enough force on him 20 years ago. Should i had made him paid an extra zero on his premium then, i would have increased another extra zero on this small cheque payment. Right? He was laughing.

I asked him this question; "Did you have any regret over purchasing this policy with us?" Simon said 'Yes!' Reason was he should have deposited and save more premium.

My belief - "Is not of how much you earn but rather is how much you could save that matter."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Hell... I got married!!!


Specially for all married men....... women can read also......

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind,

'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.

The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.

Once again, the voice shouted,

'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around

The corner, barely missing him.The man asked.

'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.

'Oh, yeah?' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got Married?'

This is the Best !!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Rag to riches has to be smart......


I used to explain these differences of Intelligence and Smart to young people. Intelligence is the IQ, the ability to seek knowledge and smartness is the ability to apply what you have learned. All of us who are of normal person, have these two qualities in us. Either you are more intelligence or more smarter. Sad to say, some could be only intelligent but no smartness in them.

The successful and filthy rich people are usually smarter. With some intelligence in them, they are smart to engage all the super intelligent to think and work for them. Give you an example. Our late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong Lim (Chinese: 林梧桐; pinyin: Lín Wútóng) (1918 – 23 October 2007) was a prominent wealthy Malaysian Chinese businessman. He was renowned for his vision and courage in transforming Genting Highlands from an unexplored hilltop into one of the world's most successful casino resorts. He was once the richest man in Malaysia, Asia with net worth US$4.2billion.

Born in 1918 in Anxi, a mountainous county in South Eastern Fujian province, China, Lim Goh Tong was the fifth child in his family. His father was Lim Shi Quan and his mother Goh Ban. He has an elder brother, three elder sisters, a younger sister and a younger brother. Lim was born into a rustic environment in a village, during that time, China was in a period of turmoil and unrest after the 1911 revolution, but life was relatively sheltered for Lim in the village. He grew up peacefully and had the opportunity of studying in school. However, disaster struck and his father died when he was 16. Lim was forced to leave school and he and his elder brother had to take over the heavy burden of feeding his family.

As of now, Genting Highlands is one of the most successful Casino resorts in the world and is one of the primary tourist attractions in Malaysia. All these glamour won't have created if not of this man who came from rag to riches. So to say...being smart he employed the engineers, architects, lawyers and accountants to work for him. These professionals are definitely intelligence but not so smart as Tan Sri who even had to use his thumbprint for signing documents.

So... you want to be intelligence or smart now? Me! I really don't know. I am not rich like Tan Sri but i am damn smart to draw your attention to read this blog. Haha!!!

Keep learning -
"A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether" - Roy H. Williams

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Making a baby - This is hilarious!!!


There is not one dirty word in it, and it is still extremely funny. You must read it.....

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Alcoholic


A joke worth reading....................

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass. "It's red wine , Cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels."

"Correct."

The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blond, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"

Friday, December 10, 2010

Life insurance agent & Medical Doctor save lives.

Selling tips....

Life insurance agent and medical doctor are both professions that require to save lives. The different is doctor saves life of patients who are already sick, whereas agent prevents clients from getting sick. Are you confused? Read on plssssssss....

As a respected doctor he stays in his clinical surrounding, waiting for patients to seek his consultation. He is lucky in that sense because he needs not prospect his clienteles. Not the agent! He has to be brave to approach the prospective customers outside. Prospective clients who are healthy normal person. The funny part of life here is, the more critically sick you are, the more the doctor could earn from you. We the agents work differently! Before you get sick, we encourage you to stay healthy and active, we motivate you to save while you are in peak form, we inspire you to do well in every way and most important we create the 'peace of mind' while you deal business with us. Our promise to you is, should you fall sick which is unavoidable in life, we rest assure that all your medical expenses shall be paid by us. And if in the event that even the doctor could not save your life, we promise to be the guidances to your family from the little one to the older one.

I think in this world, there is no other profession, other than we the life insurance agents could offer you these promises that i have mentioned. Thanks God! He made me to be a life insurance agent and i am so proud to be one.

My tag line is - "Buy life insurance when you don't need it, coz when you need it, you can't buy."

Thursday, December 09, 2010

The selling formula.


Selling tips....

A rookie agent asked; Is knowledge on products important in selling life insurance? Yes! Is always a changing world with different needs, when we have to keep pace with our new range of products all the time. We have to be 100% competent and sure with what we sell. But!!! Read the next paragraph please.

The formula in selling is 10% knowledge, 30% skill and 60% Heart ( Love & Concern). The 100% score on knowledge is equal to 10% of the total ability in mastering the Art of Selling. If you are the one agent who is keen and has all the interest to learn and remember those details and information from books, but lack the development to acquire the selling skills, and do not have the sincere heart to see and meet people, you would never be able to last in our challenging career.

Many agents who have the brainy minds to study, passing all the relevant courses and papers but do not have selling skills and heart, find it so difficult to stay in our business too. Passing the required examinations and attending the needed classes, doesn't mean you have made it. The real fight is when you could learn the right skills to touch some one's heart out there. The company could provide you the knowledge, whereas the skill and the heart are from within yourself. Unless you have the last two qualities, selling life insurance is going to be tough. I sincerely hope my sharing could benefit all my fellow colleagues, especially the beginners.

A beautiful statement - “Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.” - William A. Foster quotes

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Ladies like Mancho Man.......


Talking about Rich & Poor, i have another interesting true story for you....

I had once a rich friend who claimed that all his girlfriends like him because of his wealth only. He flowered them with gifts and incentives, generous in every way to make the ladies attracted to him. Whereas his driver had got nothing, he had plenty of lovers who called him day and night seeking his love and romance. The boss asked, Robert you know both of us well. Tell me why my driver has got more lady's lucks than me.

Mmmmm!!! That was a very sensitive question. Right? Taking up some courage, I assessed both of them. Yes! Boss you are wealthy and successful but you lack the strength, energy and charm of a macho man for all ladies to adore. You could be generous in money but are you demanding!! You offer gifts and incentives but not love from the heart. You might be approachable, are you arrogance and bossy!! You are successful in your business but i believe you have little time for regular exercises. Reason... Your frame and size show you are over weight. An over weighted person who doesn't exercise would never be able to perform well on bed. Strength and energy are definitely needed for a satisfying round of bed performance. Boss! Ladies like money but they also like man who could satisfy them outside and inside.

I think the boss took my hint. Whether he likes it or not, these are all facts of life. Right?

She cannot be wrong -
"A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him" ~ Mae West.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Father Joseph almost in trouble....








Is a public holiday today in Malaysia. I am taking a break on top of the hill resort to feel the cool and fresh air. Feel free to laugh over these cartoons coz is good for the heart. Laughing is the best medicine. If you can't laugh now, something must be wrong with you. Either you pinch yourself or you let your partner to pinch you. Otherwise ask Father Joseph for help. I think he is quite a naughty person. Haha!!!

Monday, December 06, 2010

Poor but happy.......


I was only a little boy when this story was told to me. Here it goes....

In a small village, lived two families. One was rich with a big house and his neighbour was poor. The rich family children were weak and lazy, whereas the poor family children were strong and active. One day the rich man asked his neighbouring friend, what food did he gave to nourish his children who were full of life all the time. The poor man replied, we could not afford much for the kids. Our regular meals were rice and vegetables only. Every meal was taken when you served yours. Because the smell and aroma of your well cooked food from your kitchen side, gave us the appetite to eat. Hearing this explanation, the rich man was furious. He felt that the neighbour had stolen the best out of his meals from smelling. Leaving nothing for his children to benefit, and thus they were weak and inactive.

Not satisfied, the rich man charged the poor man from stealing without consent. He was brought to the court where the judge listened. Was the poor man found guilty? Yes! The judge fined one thousand dollars on him. For a moment the rich man was over joyed, while the poor man cried for mercy coz he had no money to pay. Out of pity, the judge took out his one thousand dollars all in notes and handled to the poor man. The judge instructed him to count the cash and insisted that he had to count with his voice raised for everyone to hear. So it went like...One hundred, two hundred, three hundred until he reached the one thousand count. The rich man was excited because he could see and hear the counting. After the total count, the judge requested to return the money back to him. Everyone was puzzled, more so would be the rich man who was confused. He asked, isn't the money meant for me your honour. The judge said Yes! He had given you already when you were hearing the counting of the hundred to the thousand. The logic was like he smelling your food when he actually didn't steal and now he didn't physically give you the cash but you took them from him by listening and hearing. Case closed! The poor man was over joyed now and the rich man was frustrated.

Moral of the story. I was taught since young, whether we are rich or poor, the most important factor of life is to be happy and be contented with what we have. You might be the richest person in town but without a happy and contented heart, no food would be tasty to the mouth.

A powerful statement - “He who is contented is rich” - Lao Tzu quotes

Sunday, December 05, 2010

A Judge's Dilemma.....


In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the brothel owner sued the church authorities on the grounds that the church through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his brothel, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons for the act of God. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

"I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a brothel owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church that doesn't."

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Love Affairs


A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

Friday, December 03, 2010

Pampering too much on our children.


Yesterday i was talking about our children and i haven't finished this topic yet. The more i see them, the more i feel so sad for them.

Only yesterday itself, this was what i witnessed. A client i hadn't seen for three years, invited me to her beautiful new house. Its so huge and spacious, it looks almost like a villa to me. They made it there because the husband is an extremely a successful and a wealthy business man. I was introduced to his eldest son who is 30 years young and had graduated with two degrees. Though the house is built with a lovely big swimming pool plus a first class gym or fitness centre, the son is overweight in physical. What a waste with such health facilities provided by the father!!! Ever since he came back from abroad, he hasn't been working yet. Perhaps he needs not work!

Next! I have another good friend whose son is already 18 of age and currently studying for his A level locally. Everyday his parents have to take turn to chauffeur him to classes. On checking with this boy, he has never been allowed to go out by himself alone. He hasn't experienced the thrill of taking buses or train to roam around for fun or meeting his friends outside home. The father is a medical doctor who is sending him to study in England next year. Being not good on streetwise, i wonder how the son could be able to cope up when he is alone there soon. I only have to blame his father for pampering his child too much.

Next! A father had to take leave away from his important job to drive his daughter for her year end examination. In between the morning and afternoon session papers, he waited nearby to provide meals and drinks for her. Mind you! The daughter is already 18 of age too. He claimed it's unsafe to let her child to move out alone. What a protective father is he?

I can tell you more. Is alarming to see how our young children are being brought up in such pampered way. They are almost like being spoon fed all the way from baby to adulthood. Yes! They could be intelligence academically but i doubt they would be smart on the road to fence for themselves later in their lives. All these won't have happened if only the parents had not spoiled their own children.

In religious point of view - "A father without a rod is no father at all. A father without discipline is no father at all."

Thursday, December 02, 2010

The unwanted coins.


As usual i like having my morning breakfast at a nearby coffee shop. Little darling would know my favourite dish is the 'wan tan mee'. Though it might not be as tasty as the yesteryear one, this shop has the best food courts around my house.

After taking my food and was about to walk out of the shop, an old lady who was sitting next to my table, patted my shoulder to indicate that i had forgotten to collect my change of ten cents which was left on it. I turned back and without hesitation i took this little change. At the same time i stopped to thank you this customer for being kind enough to remind me.

Over the next few minutes, i shared some of my experiences to those customers around. They eagerly listened to my story. When i was a small boy, my mum would always insist that i should pick whatever coins and shillings that were lying on roads outside. The smallest denomination was the one cent coin which would have no value then. Unless you had the combination of 5 one cent to make it as five cent, perhaps you might be able to buy a sweet. Mum would be angry if we didn't pick those unwanted coins found. She said it was sinfull and shameful not to pick those money. Mind you, her advice still remains in my mind.

Not today any longer! Children of today have no feeling for coins, they prefer the notes, especially the five, ten or fifty dollar denominations. There are those five and ten cent coins strayed all over the road pavements, no children would be bother to pick them up. Because they think the coins are of no value.

Upon reaching this stage of sharing, the same old lady raised her voice to us. She said, "Yes! Our children today is smarter. They know the value of those coins." I didn't challenge her statement and darn not utter a word. Quietly i smiled and left the crowd.

In my car i pondered over her statement, "Our children today is smarter." In my mind i asked.. Are they actually smarter? I think not! They could be more intelligence but they aren't smart. Their intelligence has degraded the value of those unwanted coins. Their intelligence has changed them to be proud and prideful. They don't have the humbleness and simplicity of the heart. If they were to be smart, they should have collected those under value coins and donate them to charities or the poor. Thanks God! My children still pick the left over coins.

Quote in joke - "You can use your 1 cent coins to piss people off....next time you pay for something just pay in 1 cent coins!!!"

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Lonesome Kills.


Dr H is a lady medical doctor i have known for 24 years. For the last three years, she had done three angioplasties with three stents repaired in her heart arteries. Poor lady! I felt so sad for her. Hospital advised her to go for her bypass surgery but she chicken off. See! Even doctors themselves are afraid.

According to Dr H, she has always on strict dietary supplements and meals, but her cholesterol level is still high. She blamed it on hereditary reasons because her parents were like her.

While discussing over her current medical insurance claims, i took the courage to advise my client. I said... You have been doctoring all your patients these many years, please let me this time to doctor you. You have been a good doctor for others but you have failed to heal yourself. Please disregard the hereditary reason because one could avoid to be like our parents' way of living. Though you are careful with your food intake, you are not careful with the intake of stress and tension. As doctor, you are intelligent but not smart to live a rounded life. The past 35 years you had been enclosed to these four walls seeing only the sick and dying. Yes! You might have the passion to work in your profession to save lives but there is no one at the moment to love your sickly heart. When your children were young, they gave the joy for you to work. When your dad and mum were around, they offered their souls for you to work happily. When your husband was there, he too could have spurred you to move and excel. So sad today! Your parents were gone, your husband had left you and the sons had migrated. Besides those patients who are your customers, you really have no friend or someone who cares for you currently. The only medicine you really need is one word...
LOVE.

The final conclusion for my friend. I recommended and advised her to search for her love. The someone who is willing to love and heal her stressful and lonesome heart. Go out and be free! Smile to the world outside besides just the four clinical walls and i am sure there would be this someone who could see the beauty of this lovely lady of sixties. Believe me, she is tender and beautiful.

Specially for Dr H - a song lyrics
Are you lonesome tonight?
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day?
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
- - -Roy Turk and Lou Handman, "Are You Lonesome Tonight"

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

MMQ ...What is the meaning of life?


I wrote a title, "What is the meaning of life?" on 23 Nov & yesterday a good friend, Maram commented with his beautiful insight onto it. I can't resist not to share his words with everyone. Allow me to post it please.....

My Dear Bob,
Thank you very much for writing a topic and sharing what you see as the meaning of life. That was exactly how I used to see it too!. Sure rang a few bells to put a smile and giggles in my heart! As life's journey takes its twists and turns, so did my view of life as it traverse from one chapter to another. The objective is to be happy always. To understand the meaning of life, I needed to explore the question of the purpose of life itself. I began to think of our very existence, that everything we see and have around us is designed and made by someone, from designer fashion wears to electronics gadgets to spaceships and submarines to atom bombs etc. Then we watch the amazing underwater worlds in National Geographic HD, with unimaginable array of beautiful living things, the lives of incredible creatures in the wild etc. This thing called Earth is so incredible and yet is but only one component of the huge universe. Then it dawned on me that there must be a creator designer of all these great universe and its contents! No chance that all these came into being by chance. Certainly not!. I am fully convinced that there is one creator of all this, the whole comprehension of it is way beyond human capacities. Today we dont know so many things because the body of knowledge in this world is too huge for man to fathom all. So, to me, to understand the meaning and purpose of life, we need to go back to basics ie to understand life itself from its origins to its final destination! And it is not complex at all!. Sounds like a heavy subject or task indeed, but on the contrary it is as simple as can be!! It starts from self exploration, and then look at our surroundings. From there, the answers will come to you as you continue to search for the one and only one Creator of the worlds. Common sense will tell us that there cannot be more than one, or the world/universe would be very difficult to manage as it has to be perfect in its execution!Yes nothing less than perfection! When I understand life, then perhaps I will be able to truly achieve happiness, not necessarily the happiness in the dimension that most will define today. Most of us are too busy with our daily challenges, as I was before, to be able to dwell into these "other" VERY CRITICAL QUESTIONS ON OUR LIVES. Those who do will find their real meaning and purpose of life. TQ

Monday, November 29, 2010

Daughter in law stole my son.


Hey there! Are you having grown up children who are married? Be careful! If you cannot get along with the "in-laws" you stand a chance to loose the sons & the daughters.

Madam Chan has two sons who used to love their mother so much. She was a proud mum, when all relatives were so envy on her because her sons not only were intelligence, they were obedient and caring for the widow parent. Their mother's interest was always first and important, and without the mum's decision on any matters, the sons would be patience to wait. The family of three were happily united, until they got married. Alas! Things changed when two extra females came into their homes. The new ladies of the house equally love these two nice sons, or i should say they love them even more. Mother could only love them from the outside, whereas the other women gave their entire souls and bodies to the husbands. Mother became possessive when emotional love turned more to jealous and anger. Soon the three women of the once warm home became cold and violent. They quarrelled, argued and showed temper. To make matters worst, the sons stood on the wives' sides, hurting the old lady beyond doubts. Soon the family was breaking apart without a solution, when the sons and wives left their old home. The aging mother was left alone to fence for herself. The most happiest mum at one time has broken her heart today. Reason... The daughters in law have stolen her good sons away.

This is true fact of life and to avoid such unnecessary problems, learn to love your future in-laws. I have two ex-daughters in law and two current daughters in law who love me so much because i never in the first place behaved like a father in law ever since i knew them. I treat them like my best friends when i joke and have laughter all the time and i love them more than their own parents. Yes! These ladies have taken my sons from me, but they haven't taken away my love away from my sons. Haha!!!

I like these two quotes - "Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law" (Hubert Humphrey) & "The difference between in-laws and outlaws is...outlaws are wanted!"

Sunday, November 28, 2010

WHY SEX IS GOOD!


The BENEFITS of SEX

Reading this is entertaining !!!

Be sure to read the final comment.

Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin ?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes hair shiny and soft.

2. To make love in soft and relaxed way reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine.

3. To make love allows to burn all the calories accumulate is this romantic love scene.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tonifies all body muscles. It is more enjoyabel than doing 20 lapses in the pool. And you don't need special shoes !

5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !

7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.

8. To kiss everyday allows to avoid the dentist. Kisses aid saliva in cleaning teeths and lower the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.

9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins.

10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma and spring allergies.


Note: Who say sex is bad after all? Lets have more please.......

Saturday, November 27, 2010

A visit to the Gynaecologist


A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist..... The doctor took one look at the woman and All his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, ‘Do You know what I am doing?'

'Yes,' she replied, 'You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.'

'That's right,' said the doctor. He then began to fondle her Breasts. 'Do you know what I am doing now?' He asked.

'Yes,' she said, 'You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.'

'Correct,' replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having Sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, 'Do you know what I am doing now?'

'Yes,' she said, 'You're getting syphilis: which is why I came here in the first place.'

Friday, November 26, 2010

Successful selling goes without discounting.


Selling tips....

Many rookie agents used to ask this unavoidable question; "Are you giving discount?" Me! I don't because once you make it a practice, you have to give it all the time to those who purchase your products.

Commission is our earning, our life blood, our food and incentives to work. Not forgetting as life insurance agents, we have no salary, allowance and bonus. We are not employees of the company but rather as contracted agents to represent a principle to solicit their products in range. We are considered as self-employed and professionals by our own.

In my early years in this business, if clients could have asked this discounting issue, this was my answer to them. "I am sorry i can't give any discount because i need to do well and stay in this business as long as possible. Giving the discount might not allow me to earn more to provide my family a better & comfortable home. Giving the discount might deprive my dreams for my children to do well in their studies. Giving the discount might encourage me to look for another job because i earn lesser. By not giving discount you let me stay in this challenging business. By not giving discount you let me grow further with hopes and values. By not giving discount you let me stay permanently to serve you whenever you need me now or later of our lives."

My above principle of no discounting when i sell is proven with my twenty eight years of successful selling of life insurance. The total earning received allows me to serve and service all my clients with pride and honour. I have developed myself to be competent and knowledgeable in my practices, thus be able to protect and care for all concerns to the highest level. I could perform and deliver my promises because they had paid me in full willingly.

To all my fellow colleagues, if you intend to stay in this business be firm as what i had written. No discount please but make sure you serve with a smile.

A friendly advice - "Don't deal with a buyer who doesn't pay but expects much."

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Humiliated, I learned to be stronger.


An incident i won't forget.

I started to learn selling life insurance 28 years ago. Full of enthusiasm and energy, i was prepared to be trained and guided in everyway possible. Those days, training and motivation classes were limited. The best way was to read and see the available books and video pertaining to the greatness of other agents of the West.

One day my immediate agency manager suggested that i should approach the top sellers of the company for tips and advices. Why not? On a day of our company annual convention, all qualified Star Producers were invited to a grand dinner for the night. I was one of them, a rookie agent who by chance managed to make it for that 1st year. I was too eager to rub shoulder with all those so called top producers those days. I told myself that i ought to meet the Champion. With some courage, i managed to see this great agent who was mixing around with all his buddies then. I approached him with a broad smile, together with a warm handshake to congratulate this senior veteran of our business. I was told he was already in selling for more than 15 good years with our company.

During the short chat with him, i eagerly asked this question, "What is the secret of your success in selling life insurance Hero?" Staring at me, he said," Drink my glass of whisky and i would tell you!" I was stunned and caught in despair with his response. I told him that i am a non drinker but willingly to learn from him. He was laughing loudly. He continued saying, "If you respect me, you would drink it. Bottom up!" All his surrounding colleagues supported him too. Repeatedly these words sounded, "Drink! Drink! Drinkkkk!" Giving me no choice under such circumstances, i grabbed his glass and forced myself to drink the unfriendly whisky of his.

As soon as i finished his drink, he sounded this unforgettable statement till today i will still remember, "The secret of success in selling life insurance is to drink whisky and beer all the time!!!!" With the cheeky laugh, they moved away from me. I was disgusted and humiliated by these group of successful professionals.

Conclusion: He was selfish and unwilling to share. Though he might be successful in business, his heart wasn't rich. Thanks God! He left our business few years later and ventured into some other businesses.

Though it was my unforgettable experiences, it taught me that one should not be humiliated when that person had the humbleness to ask for favour. Ever since then, i promised myself that if i do well in life, i would share all my experiences and wisdom to those who need them.

Quoted on my name card, i wrote - "My Belief - I must help people without people asking."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A piece of paper could sell million.


Selling tips...

What can a piece of 5"x 8" blank paper be used? You might think it's worthless, except scribble a few words or notes on it. You might not believe me! I had made million sales out from this simple white paper.

Ever since forty three years ago when i started to work in the sales force, i had been carrying a piece of paper on me all the time. Before i leave the house, i make sure this 5 by 8 piece of paper be folded into half, and be kept in my shirt's pocket (all men working shirts have a small pocket on the upper left). Inside my wallet, i have another spare piece too. Parked besides this paper is my Parker Pen of twenty years old to go along with.

This paper comes very handy when with friends or anyone who need to jot a few points during a discussion. Imagine you are having a short chat with your clients and you want to show your ideas but you guys don't have any paper to spare. Perhaps you could look around or request for one but by the time you reach to have one piece, the mood and ideas might have forgotten in your mind. Hit your ideas when they are boiling hot. Right? Me! Luckily i have this paper with me all the time. I could be able to illustrate and demonstrate my views instantly across through the layout on the paper. Believe me! I had sold many plans by writing on this mere white paper. Magic it is!!!

The paper has helped me to write names and contacts while on the move. Most of my blog ideas are gathered while i am driving, and this one paper helps to keep the stories. I had given this tiny paper to Minister, CEO, Chairman right down to the ordinary men on the road before. Reason...at the time when they needed something to write, they didn't have paper and mine became a valuable piece. You might have all the ipads and high tech mobiles, paper is still the best way to express your thought at that moment of time.

Something i learn -
"Success is not defined by obtaining everything you want, but by enjoying and appreciating everything you want. Learn to enjoy what you have."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

What is the meaning of life?


A good friend, Maram was trying to test me with this unique question; "What is the meaning of life?" Sounds simple and yet very philosophical in thought. He wanted me to write with smiles and giggles all round. Let me try young man...

When i was a little boy, all i wanted in life was to do well in studies, be obedient to my parents, helping my dad's coffee shop, catching the right spider to win all the times, making the strongest kite and be the champion of tops playing.

Ooop! Time passed so rapidly. In my teen age while still in secondary school, life was all about learning to dance the char char, rumba and the crazy 'Shake'. These dances made me popular when i got to know many girlfriends. Studies were neglected.

Reaching 21, Life was freedom when the independent key was given. Life was to seek for job. Though at that time getting employment wasn't easy, i landed myself to be a young salesperson selling office equipments. So innocent and naive, i realised the working world wasn't that easy after all. I was taught the vices of everything available. Wine, women and music were the main issues all the time. I learned to gamble too. The most favorite game among the sales people was the poker cards. This poker taught me to have a poker face and to understand others as well. Life at this stage was to make money, immaterial from any sources.

I got marry quite young. Husband at 23 and one year later i became a young father. Having a family to raise made me more serious in life. I became more responsible, more hard working and committed. Life was to see that my children had a future. I became more caring and loving. Seeing my children grew made me understand the value and hope for others.

Sixty three of my best part of life had just gone by. Any regret over it? No! Not at all because it taught me to appreciate life better. Life is a journey to me. It hasn't ended yet because my journey is getting even more interesting and exciting. What is life to me at the moment? Life is to stay healthy as long as possible and yet be able to help those around you. Money isn't that important any longer when my career became my hobby and interest. I don't need to dance to be popular among ladies because i have the wisdom to draw the attention from those lucky ladies i know today. Life is fun
and laughter. The more we have, the more cheerful and happy we are. Right Maram?

Specially for my great friend, Maram - "It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had" - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross