Me & My Father.

To my three sons and all children of this planet to read..............

When I was 4 Yrs Old : My father is THE BEST
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When I was 6 Yrs Old : My father seems to know everyone
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When I was 10 Yrs Old : My father is excellent but he is short tempered
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When I was 12 Yrs Old : My father was nice when I was little
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When I was 14 Yrs Old : My father started being too sensitive
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When I was 16 Yrs Old : My father can't keep up with modern time
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When I was 18 Yrs Old : My father is getting less tolerant as the days pass by
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When I was 20 Yrs Old : It is too hard to forgive my father, how could my Mum stand him all these years
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When I was 25 Yrs Old : My father seems to be objecting to everything I do
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When I was 30 Yrs Old: It's very difficult to be in agreement with my father, I wonder if my Grandfather was troubled by my father when he was a youth
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When I was 40 Yrs Old: My father brought me up with a lot of discipline, I must do the same
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When I was 45 Yrs Old: I am puzzled, how did my father manage to raise all of us
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When I was 50 Yrs Old : It's rather difficult to control my kids, how much did my father suffer for the sake of upbringing and protecting us
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When I was 55 Yrs Old: My father was far looking and had wide plans for us, he was gentle and outstanding. .
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When I became 60 Yrs Old: My father is THE BEST
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Note that it took 56 Yrs to complete the cycle and return to the starting point 'My father is THE BEST '
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Let's be good to our parents before it's too late and pray to God that our own children will treat us even better than the way we treated our parents.

Specially to all fathers - "There are three stages of a man's life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus" - Author Unknown

The Bathtub Test.

Lets see how sharp are you?

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Do you know - "Children have very sharp powers of observation - probably sharper than adults - yet at the same time their emotional reactions are murky and much more primitive" - Donna Tartt.

Dad! Why mum is smarter?

A little boy asked his father. Dad, why is mum smarter than you? She gets up earlier than you, makes breakfast for us everyday, sends me to school before she goes to work, goes to the supermarket to buy our food if necessary, prepares our yummy dinner before you return dad, she has to serve you coffee while you watch the late nite TV, and she is always the last to sleep.

The father was caught with such surprised question from his son. He had to answer to the awaiting child. Yes son! Mum is smart. Dad had been intelligence enough to pick your smart mother to marry me. Otherwise she won't be here to love and care for you and making life comfortable for both of us now. Son! If you grow up, make sure you have to be as intelligence as dad to pick and marry a smart wife like your mother. Then your future would be wonderful and joyful as ever. The son nodded his head to show he understood.

This incidence happened while we were in a client's home. I was amazed the little child could feel the important of his mum, and the dad was clever to respond to the inquisitive son. To my reader who is reading this story now...Who is smart and who is intelligent? The child, mother or the father? You have to tell us please!!!

To those great mothers out there - "A boy's best friend is his mother" - Joseph Stefano.

"A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is" - Keith L. Brooks

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest" - Irish Proverb.

I am being screwed.

Can't resist not to share a screwing episode...

A woman went to the service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

'PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!! !'

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers. The manager comes to the woman and asks,'Ma'am what's wrong?'

She explains the problem with the toaster, and he also tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screams,

'PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!'

which begins to draw a even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, 'Ma'am, why are you saying that?'

In a huff, the woman says,
'BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED !!'
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

Now stop laughing before you are being screwed for not doing your work today.

Man is intelligent but woman is smarter

My recent title, "Are you earning less than your wife?' captured interest over with some of my clients. They asked further questions; Should men be more intelligence and smarter than their women? Or women be more beautiful than their men?

In my personal opinion, all these are facts of life that touches our way of living. Just imagine, if a woman doesn't need to be employed outside as the husband is prepared to work hard and be responsible to take care of his family, everybody would be admiring the wife as a lucky lady. However if the woman has to earn to keep her family going, when the husband is staying back home doing nothing, the whole world would look down upon the man. Is a glamour and nice to be addressed as housewife or a homemaker. No male be called as houseman. Right?

If your boyfriend is intelligent and smart, you definitely would feel good and proud of him. On the other hand, if the girl is more intelligence and smarter than the boy, she might out shine the poor lover. After all, male has to be stronger in every way to take care and protect the females. So if the man is weaker in mind and spirit, he might not be able to provide the sense of security to his love.

Asked my friends, if man is always at upper hand over woman, then ladies might not have anything to show and demonstrate. No my friends! One important factor or quality of woman is.. They have to be more prettier and more beautiful than us. Meaning; a beautiful wife or girlfriend gives value to her man. He might not be handsome but if he has an attractive lady besides, all eyes and admiration would be on them. Their gossip could be..What a lucky man he is!!

Advices to the gentleman. Look isn't important but your intelligence and ability to earn well is.

Tips to the ladies. Don't outsmart your men, even though you are intelligent. Don't pick a man who is more beautiful than you coz he would outshine you. Bring out your external beauty of the face and the inner beauty of your heart which will be your drawing points.

Food for thought - "The true beauty of a woman is her inherent ability to make better a man in every way.” - Don Williams, Jr quote

JUST A TAP ON THE SHOULDER.

Another laugh before you go back to work tomorrow...

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently Tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up Over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking Driver said, 'Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out Of me.'

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't Realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle the driver so badly.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my Fault Today is my very first day driving a cab . . . . . . . . .. ... I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.

Food for thought - "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end." ~Max Eastman.

The Black Condom.

If you don't laugh, you must be nut!!!

A 'just married' White couple decided to make love on their wedding night in the hotel.

The wife did not want to get pregnant yet and requested the husband to buy condoms from the shop nearby.

When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.

The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin.

He asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him which quality he wanted.

'The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each.' So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents.

While the husband was out, a Black thief came into the room.The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing.

The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.

Without a warning, he jumped onto her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic and she thoroughly enjoyed the session.

Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a Black baby boy. When the boy grew up, he asked the father. 'Papa, why am I Black and you are White?'

The father shouted 'You are damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!.

Hahahaha ...

Would you agree - “Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom”