Rich in heart.

I had seen Hanafiah grew. From a young innocent man at 21, after 18 years he has developed himself to be a successful stock broker in town. Few days ago, he texts me a message, "Can you write in your blog. The longer I live in this world, the lesser friends I get. I mean, a lot of friends but so little good and sincere friends. Why?"

From his words, I knew he wasn't happy and somethings must be disturbing him. Without ado, I invited him for a lunch when we had a long fruitful sharing. During our friendly chat, I started to ask this simple question, "Are you rich?" It fact this question was thrown to me a few day ago by an intelligent lady. Hanafiah replied, "Robert, you have seen me progress. I was penniless when you knew me. God has taken good care of me and blessed me with wealth from my trading. I consider myself as rich. With a little luck, I could be richer in a few months time when I might hit the jackpot."

I felt happy for Hanafiah frankness. Instead I said, "You are lucky my friend. You are definitely wealthier than me. However I am rich in my heart which makes the different." By his look, I knew he did not really understand my meaning. These were my explanation to him here.

To be rich in heart, one who is willing to give unconditional love to whoever he meets. Be they strangers, friends, enemies, poor or rich, young or old, man or woman. As long as they are from this planet earth. Offer your love with humbleness. Not only to the rich but to the poor as well. Be kind to the one who needs your help. Be caring to those who seek your assistance. Give without any expectation of return. Give with all your smiles. Give to those who even complain and criticize against you. Give to feel happy and joyful. Give to feel contented and fulfilling. Give to the world and make others happy. If only you could understand that by giving and making people happy because of yourself, you will feel the happiness in you too. This is what I call rich in the heart.

A person who is rich in heart will see the world as beautiful as ever, because his heart is happy all the time. I told Hanafiah, you might be rich in wealth but your heart isn't rich yet. Unless he is prepared to change his perception of life. After all, love is free. The more you give away, the more you will receive. Otherwise I won't have survived this long in this selling world with so much of respect, value and trust given to me, by my clients, friends, dears and my little darling. I love them whole heartily and equally they love me sincerely too. I hope Hanafiah can accept my wisdom of life.

Food for the heart - "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind" - Henry James.

Forget first or forgive first.

A sweet young thing (SYT) threw me this question. "Forgiving is easy but forgetting isn't!"

I told her, if she could not forget, then I am sure she had not forgiven yet. Unless she could forget, forgiving is assured in any instances. In order to clear her doubts, I depicted some illustration to this SYT.

A friend might had offended SYT. Later this friend realised her mistakes. She approached SYT and asked for forgiveness sincerely. Unless SYT had a great heart and mind to forgive and forget, her friend would never be forgiven. SYT had to forget her friend's wrong first, before she could forgive this person.

SYT had a boyfriend who was unfaithful to her. The incident caused SYT to feel extremely painful in heart and mind. The boyfriend asked for forgiveness. The unfaithfulness was due to temptation but his love for her remains. SYT might forgive him but the thought of him with another lady was unbearable. Not able to forget the unpleasant incident, their love for each other would never be the same again. Because the true sense of forgiving was not there, although claimed given.

SYT fell in love again with a another boyfriend. His love for her is true, sincere and warm. His patience, intelligence, fun, humour and caring, prove worthy to her. He is honest and frank to reveal his past wrong doings and admitted his failure in other previous love relationships too. SYT is a very understanding lady. She knows love has to be unconditionally given. She knows trust is the vital support in loving a mate. She accepts the past as a learning stage of life. The past mistakes were our teachers to guide us to be better person for present and for the future. She is totally a wise lady who could forget her new boyfriend's past and is prepared to forgive him in every way. I termed her as the happiest person because she really has forgiven her lover while forgetting his past. She has accepted him as what he is of now.

Conclusion - we have to forget first before we can forgive.

Food for the heart - "When a deep injury is done on us, we never recover until we forgive" - Alan Paton

Love her whole heartily.

While watching my little darling swam at the poolside, I had some fun chat with another interesting club member. He said, "To love a woman, you have to love her with the two holes." I was a bit puzzled, "I beg a pardon! I really don't understand that statement. Can you explain?" He continued, "To love a woman, you have to love her whole heartily for her hole."

His meaning was. To get her heart, you have to love her entire self. You have to understand what she likes and doesn't like. You have to love her whole family, as thought they are yours. You have to make her happy all the time. Making sure she isn't sad or sorrowful. You protect and let her feel secure with your present. Her problems are yours. Her needs and wants have to be taken care by you. You have to amuse and to humour her to laugh. Her time is more important than yours. You give her more priorities than others. What belongs to her are hers, but what are yours have to be shared with her. She can be the queen but you can't be the king. You can be the master of the house, but whenever she says no...you also have to say no. Unless you can accept to love her whole heartily, you will never be able to get her hole. These are the true facts of life. For those ladies who read including my little darling, would you agree to it?

Food for the heart - "We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present" - Marianne Williamson.

Sell towards a receptive mind.

I have known Gan for almost three years. He was working for my client as an engineer until he left recently to start his own business. Still unmarried at 30 now. During these period, he never gave me a chance to talk on my favorite subject, life insurance. He always sounded he had enough covers and had friends to handle his policies. I took the wrong guess that he knew about the needs and the benefits of our products.

I had the opportunity to meet up with him again recently, when he relocated his new office besides my friend place. He was too keen to introduce his new set up plus showing me his newly invented products, dealing in IT security. His demonstration convinced me that this hardware system could be useful to many of my clients and friends. Without hesitation, I promised to assist and promote his range of products. Naturally Gan was happy and we became closer in relationship.

Last week when I was supposed to meet him again, he called to cancel our appointment. His father had a bad accidental fall and was admitted to the hospital for an immediate operation. Two days ago, he called to request my help. The father admission cost them a bomb. He only carried a small insurance plan and the son did not know how it works. Neither the serving agent was around. Upon checking with his dad's cover, I realised there was no medical benefit included. I was also surprised from this discussion, Gan actually knows very little on insurance matters and he has no friend who are in insurance too. Meaning all this while, he behaved he knew and refused to listen when he was approached.

As we went further to talk more on life insurance with the various benefits and options, he was surprised and admitted his ignorance of the goodness in this miracle product. He asked more than he should. He went deep to enquire the inside out. Before I left, he requested three proposals to be quoted for himself and his parents. I am sure I had sold him already now, but they should had been sold three years ago. Was it my mistakes?

Conclusion - no sale could be sold when the prospect's mind isn't receptive. With an opened mind plus good relationship, nothing will stop a sale from being closed.

Food for the thought - "To make one good action succeed another, is the perfection of goodness" - Ali Ibu Abi Talib.

Am I too old to have a baby?

My little darling introduced me to one of her friend. He is 59 and happily married to a much younger wife of 30. From his first marriage, he has three grown up children. The second wife gave him another son who is only 3 years young. What amazed me was, the wife is again pregnant and will be expecting soon. The younger son and wife kept the man young as well. He looks much younger than his age.

I wonder why my little darling talked so much about this admirable family. Was it the man that captured her interest or the young son and wife! On our way home, she threw me this question. "If I am pregnant, do you give me the right to decide to tell you or you insist that I should not hide from you?" Ohhh!!! That was a powerful question. Unexpected but was happy. I did not know whether I replied her right. I said, "Darling, whatever is your decision, I will not mind."

I am just like her great friend, having a wisdom mind but a young heart. Now that all my children are grown up, married and not staying close to me, shall I try to have another baby for myself again. I was not a perfect father before but I am sure I can be a better one now. If that happened, all my present grand children will be older than my child. Should they call the junior as uncle or auntie? Perhaps not to confuse everyone, I think the ideal name should be addressed as 'sweetheart'. I know all my children would be laughing if they read this blog, but is good for them to laugh because they have an interesting and courageous dad. After all, I believe there is only one live and I will try to make it as interesting as possible while I am still living. Or on the other hand, it is silly for me to make baby again. Would having another new born be a burden for me at my present real age. How would the society be looking at me? They might think I am a crazy old man. Or many might accept me as an admirable old young person. Am I right or wrong? I have been sharing my wisdom on this blog without fail. Is time I should seek my readers comments on this subject. Your enlightening would be much appreciated.

I learned from C. S. Lewis - "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

Serving to please.

Today I brought a maturity cheque to Kumar. I have known him and his family for more than twenty years. During these two decades, he had taken my advices to effect all the various plans for his family. Many a time, he had intention to terminate some policies or when he wasn't doing well, he tried to avoid paying his premium. Whenever that happened, we would sit down to review and to discuss. I would try my level best to encourage him to continue, which he never failed to accept my professional advices. Although he wasn't in the house, I gave the cheque to his loving wife, Muni who was delighted with excitement. This was the second maturity cheque given so far. Two years ago, we handed to him a similar payment.

This was what Muni said when she received our insurance cheque. "Robert! We are so glad to have been blessed with such a committed life insurance agent like you. I have to thank you Chakra who introduced you to us. Without your constant encouragement and advices, we will not be able to save by ourself definitely. This saving won't be here today. Thank you for being an agent and a good friend to us."

Those words melted my heart deeply. I felt honour to serve. I felt proud to be still around and to be available after more than 26 years in the making. I did not deviate, neither did I move away for other greener pasture, but rather to keep my promise to deliver. I am here to serve to please which matters.

Food for the heart - "If you can make good use of time, you will surely go where you want to go."

The way to identify baby girl or boy!

I would be expecting my sixth grand child this coming September. When I saw my daughter in law early this year, when she was only two months pregnant, I could see the expected baby to be a girl. I told Fionna then, "My dear, your baby is a girl." She could not believe it, until she and her husband who recently did a scanning which confirmed the sex as to be a female. They are over joy as our family actually has too many males. A darling girl will make a lot of different to us. Especially to a young grand dad like me, who now loves girls more than boys.

Fionna asked. "Dad! How could you see me to be conceiving a girl at that early stage of pregnancy?" This is something I had learned through the years of observing and experiencing. When a woman is carrying a baby boy, she tends to look rough in physical and facial. Perhaps the male hormone in her, changes her metabolism. Physiologically she looses her feminine charm. However if she carries a girl, the extra female hormone makes her to be more sexier and prettier. Look at her above photograph posted. She is still as beautiful as before, because there is another beautiful girl inside her. Scanning could identify the end result but our eyes are equally effective if only we learn to use them well.

Food for the thought - "Thought is cause; experience is effect. If you don't like the effects in your life, you have to change the nature of your thinking" - Marianne Williamson