Forget first or forgive first.

A sweet young thing (SYT) threw me this question. "Forgiving is easy but forgetting isn't!"

I told her, if she could not forget, then I am sure she had not forgiven yet. Unless she could forget, forgiving is assured in any instances. In order to clear her doubts, I depicted some illustration to this SYT.

A friend might had offended SYT. Later this friend realised her mistakes. She approached SYT and asked for forgiveness sincerely. Unless SYT had a great heart and mind to forgive and forget, her friend would never be forgiven. SYT had to forget her friend's wrong first, before she could forgive this person.

SYT had a boyfriend who was unfaithful to her. The incident caused SYT to feel extremely painful in heart and mind. The boyfriend asked for forgiveness. The unfaithfulness was due to temptation but his love for her remains. SYT might forgive him but the thought of him with another lady was unbearable. Not able to forget the unpleasant incident, their love for each other would never be the same again. Because the true sense of forgiving was not there, although claimed given.

SYT fell in love again with a another boyfriend. His love for her is true, sincere and warm. His patience, intelligence, fun, humour and caring, prove worthy to her. He is honest and frank to reveal his past wrong doings and admitted his failure in other previous love relationships too. SYT is a very understanding lady. She knows love has to be unconditionally given. She knows trust is the vital support in loving a mate. She accepts the past as a learning stage of life. The past mistakes were our teachers to guide us to be better person for present and for the future. She is totally a wise lady who could forget her new boyfriend's past and is prepared to forgive him in every way. I termed her as the happiest person because she really has forgiven her lover while forgetting his past. She has accepted him as what he is of now.

Conclusion - we have to forget first before we can forgive.

Food for the heart - "When a deep injury is done on us, we never recover until we forgive" - Alan Paton