I treat my children as friends.

Madam Tan was worried and upset over her only son who isn't behaving right. He is only 19, just finished his high school and not interested in pursuing his studies anymore. He is currently mixing with some friends who influenced him to make big money, coming home late and not listening to his parents.

Over a cup of coffee, I advised Tan to be relax and reminding her that most teenagers are like her son, who prefers to listen to outsiders rather than their parents. The best way to win her son's trust and understanding, is to befriend him, treat him more like a friend and not so much like a son.

Tan said its not easy to do it! Obviously its not going to be easy, unless she is prepared to throw away "the devil" in herself first. Take away her pride, self-esteem and arrogance as a mother. In fact the choice is hers!!! Once is done, talk patiently with love and request nicely with the son to allow her to be a friend instead. Joke with him. Play fun with him. Have humour with your advices. Tune down your voice. Hug and kiss him. Tell him you love him so much, please don't keep in the heart. Go with him wherever he likes to go, and not go wherever you like to. Spend evening time together.

I was like Madam Tan when all my children were little kids. Thanks God! I have changed my status as a father. Today all my sons are no longer son, they are all my best friends. They aren't afraid to tell all their naughtiness and secrets to this dad because I am just as naughty as they are. In order for me to befriend with my children, I have to change first and to accept the facts of life. No children would darn to treat their parents as friends, unless the parents could show and educate them in the first place. Madam Tan, I am sure you could as well and is definitely not late at all. Please act immediately...Today!

Food for thought - "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back" - William D. Tammeus

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself" ~ Joyce Maynard.

Give the boy a PhD ... must read lah!!!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the Principal's office. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test:

Principal: "What is 3x3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6x6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"!

Ms Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy quickly answered..

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The Principal's eyes again open really wide and before he could stop the answer....

Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"

Boy: "Yep"

Ms Neelam: "You stick Your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.. I get wet before you do."

Boy: "Tent"

Ms Neelam: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy: "Wedding Ring"

Ms Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose"

Ms Neelam: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Boy: "Arrow"

Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck"

Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use your hand"

Boy: "Fork"

Ms Neelam: "What is it that all men have. It's longer for some men than on others. The nuns dont need it. The pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?"

Boy: "SURNAME"

Ms Neelam: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"

Boy: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:

"Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

He he he!!!! Please laugh lah.

One Paragraph That Explains Life!

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983..

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

"The world over, 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'. And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "

"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing,
But only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...”

No idea is an idea unless is shared.

I really dislike those who claimed they know everything, especially upon hearing someone who is sharing some thoughts. In most seminars and talks I had attended, some seniors who thought they knew so much of lives, ought to be thrown out of the hall. Their remarks were; the speakers were lousy, the ideas are so so, I had heard of it long time ago and the subjects are not new. They would be complaining and criticising but would not be bother to share with others of what they know.

I could never forget my good friend, the late Adam Cheah from Prudential, who once mentioned this statement to me. "No idea is an idea unless is shared willingly." A great man might have a fantastic idea stored in his brilliant mind, but without sharing and speaking his thought out for others, his idea is as good as dead when he passes away one day. However if he is not selfish and prepared to share whole heartily with someone, his idea remains forever to the surviving world. His great name and legacy lives on.

So if you are the type who don't like to share, it would be better to keep you mouth shut rather than being a nuisance to the learning world.

My favorite belief - "The mind grows by taking in, but the heart grows by giving out."

Smaller the better.

If you are a sensitive person, suggest you should not read this page...

Master Lee has been my masseur for the past three years. He has been in this practice for more than 25 years, with male and female clienteles. This afternoon while I was enjoying my massage, I had an opportunity to learn something 'unwritten' from this experienced master.

We started with this topic, "Big things not necessary have to be Good!" According to Master Lee, smaller male testicles are healthier than a larger one. A size of a 50 cents coin of a testicle is considered ideal. Whereas a testicle of the size of a 'beverage can' would be heavy, which might lead to more complication in later part of manhood. Smaller testicle male is more active than the larger one, they walk faster as well. Most likely the upper type is more intelligence and playful than the latter. Thanks God! Mine is small. You better check yours and see.

There is a Chinese saying, "Big bust has empty brain!" Master Lee went further to share his experience on female personalities. He said God is fair. Women who have huge or bigger breasts are more attractive, whereas the smaller bust ladies are usually more intelligence. The smaller bust women are also better sex partners. Thanks God! Little darling's boobs are not the super large. So gentlemen out there. You want beauties or brains now?

Food for thought - "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think" ~ Author Unknown

Carrot or threat & heaven or hell.

What is the best method of educating and changing a growing irresponsible boy of twelve? Mmm!! This question was thrown to me last nite.

There are only two ways, either by the "carrot or threat" or both at the same time. You start with carrot first, offering incentives and encouragement. If it doesn't work, try to push on him with threat, depriving and taking away his pocket allowances and his favorite computer games.

Why I always used "carrot and threat" in our lives, simply because the world is constantly reminded with "heaven and hell." Since childhood, our parents had injected our mind with these thoughts, good children would go to heaven and the bad one goes to hell. Heaven is painted with the sweet things and hell is a horrible place. Heaven is an incentive and encouragement and hell is suffering and discouraging. Whether there is heaven or hell in the next world, lives need a direction to move.

The children need motivation, the parents need inspiration, the companies require support and a nation needs unity as well. Motivation, inspiration and support come in many ways. Obviously they are all related to "carrot & threat." To this irresponsible child, try carrot first but if it failed, the parents have to enforce threat as the last remedy.

Food for thought - "There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings" ~ Hodding Carter

Attitude is everything.

What an INSPIRATION...!!!!

Your attitude towards life defines not only who you are, but the quality of life you are after.

Whatever it is that has been bugging you, doesn't seem so bad anymore, does it?
If only we all could have the spirit that this little boy has!