Monday, June 07, 2010

I treat my children as friends.

Madam Tan was worried and upset over her only son who isn't behaving right. He is only 19, just finished his high school and not interested in pursuing his studies anymore. He is currently mixing with some friends who influenced him to make big money, coming home late and not listening to his parents.

Over a cup of coffee, I advised Tan to be relax and reminding her that most teenagers are like her son, who prefers to listen to outsiders rather than their parents. The best way to win her son's trust and understanding, is to befriend him, treat him more like a friend and not so much like a son.

Tan said its not easy to do it! Obviously its not going to be easy, unless she is prepared to throw away "the devil" in herself first. Take away her pride, self-esteem and arrogance as a mother. In fact the choice is hers!!! Once is done, talk patiently with love and request nicely with the son to allow her to be a friend instead. Joke with him. Play fun with him. Have humour with your advices. Tune down your voice. Hug and kiss him. Tell him you love him so much, please don't keep in the heart. Go with him wherever he likes to go, and not go wherever you like to. Spend evening time together.

I was like Madam Tan when all my children were little kids. Thanks God! I have changed my status as a father. Today all my sons are no longer son, they are all my best friends. They aren't afraid to tell all their naughtiness and secrets to this dad because I am just as naughty as they are. In order for me to befriend with my children, I have to change first and to accept the facts of life. No children would darn to treat their parents as friends, unless the parents could show and educate them in the first place. Madam Tan, I am sure you could as well and is definitely not late at all. Please act immediately...Today!

Food for thought - "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back" - William D. Tammeus

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself" ~ Joyce Maynard.

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