Little daughter is afraid to tell the truth.

Madam Ku has two little daughters, eight and five. Both seemed to love the mother a lot. I asked her this simple question, "You treat the children as daughters or more like friends?" She was a bit puzzled, "What's the different?"

I told her, if the children take her as friend, most likely they won't be afraid to tell mum everything, the bad and the good as well.

With her permission, I asked both children another question. "Do you tell everything without fear to your mum all the time?"

The younger one wasn't sure because she might not know the meaning of this question. However the elder sister was brave to tell us these, "I love my mother and I would tell her everything, except when I don't do well in my studies, I would hide it from her!!!"

The mother was caught with surprise by her daughter's statement. I cautious her not to get angry, otherwise the little girl might not tell the truth the next time. With this remark, it relates the girls are still treating the mother as parent, rather as good friend.

As parents, we set rules and regulations for the growing children. We have high expectation on their progress and personal development. We praise for their achievement on one hand, and on the other hand we might show temper and anger when they make mistakes. At the end result, children might not tell the truth to the parents, for fear of punishment and dissatisfaction.

I think the best and ideal method to bring our children up is to befriend them as good friends. Because its only as friends, trust and confidence could be drawn nearer. Then fear and shame could be erased from this beautiful relationship. Is definitely not easy but Madam Ku agreed to attempt to change her attitude towards her children. What about you?

Food for thought - "Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes" - Chinese Proverbs quotes

Seeing The Third World Countries has changed me.

On my recent drive home from Singapore, I had a chance to accompany Wai Yen who was on holiday with his young family too. He is one of my first son's university buddy who is currently working with a health product's company which required him to travel all over the world.

He had seen the best of the world with the most fantastic surrounding and living. The last two years he was posted to Africa where he has to visit almost all the third world countries from the north to the east and west of all their regions. It wasn't easy at first because he has to accustom to their culture and getting his food of his choice was really a problem. As Asian, we bathe twice or more per day. Not the African, they normally take bath once a week because water is scarce and expensive. They only change their clothings after their weekly bath. Is common most African have strong body odour which might be unbearable, especially sitting inside a bus. Wai Yen has to buy extra water and fill it inside the bath tank himself. A task he need not do at home! Wai Yen is a Chinese who loves Chinese and Western food. Sorry! In Northern Africa, he has to forget them because the only food available is the typical African food which he is not used to. He has lost 10lbs ever since he works in such primitive land. Even in dreams he thought of those "mee and satay" back home.

According to Wai Yen, the stay and employment in the third world countries has made him a stronger person in mind and soul. As a pampered child, he used to take things for granted. He complained and criticised whenever he was not happy. Not anymore after seeing the worst of the world. Today when he is home to see his family in Kuala Lumpur, he appreciates almost everything. Food which he might not like before, he would eat all without any leftover now. He was comparing the greatness of other nations with our developing status at home those days. Under such comparison, he wasn't happy politically and environmentally. Surprisingly he feels good to come home, appreciating all that he could see in his own motherland here. The suffering and hardship, he faced while working under those unpleasant conditions outside, has changed him to be more reasonable in life. He wants to be more practical and simple in being a person from now onwards.

Words of wisdom - "No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change" - Barbara De Angelis

Never too old to be at work.

Have you retired? Many of my friends have. Some even retired at their early fifties, and later have to depend financially on their children. Instead of thinking ways and means to make a living, they request an increase of allowance from the children who might be hard hit as well. I think all these retirees should take a short trip to Singapore where all senior citizens are given opportunities to work.

I was in Singapore last weekend with my son and family. While having meals at all those malls and food courts, I could see with my own eyes, old folks were employed in these eateries. Some were at their early seventies who worked as cleaners and waiters. They looked healthy and cheerful to me, and were proud to be at their job. I hardly saw any foreign worker, and all food courts were manned by the own people who prepared better and tastier food. Not like Kuala Lumpur, my home where most eateries, including hawker's foods are prepared by foreign workers instead. We are too dependable on foreign employees who know very little of our local taste. Our older folks retired earlier than expected and our younger generation is not willing to work. I wonder this is going to be good for our country, the people with wrong attitude and ethic in work.

Food for thought - "In your hands you hold the seeds of failure or the potential for greatness. Your hands are capable, but they must be used and for the right things to reap the rewards you are capable of attaining. The choice is yours" ~ Zig Ziglar.

The Donkey's attitude.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun. KEEP SMILING !!!!

Buying In China

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, 'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'.

Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and return to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuse to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.

The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.'

Chinese Proverb - "A wise one knows moving mountains is beyond human power, but a fool has other thoughts."

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

I like this quote - “God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him”

Highly sex person could be violence.

Over a cup of tea, I had a chance to speak to RT who is enjoying her retirement. She is 63, a widow for almost 15 years. She has three grown up sons, the younger one has some form of mental problem. She blamed the husband who had abused the last son tragically while the child was still young. According to her, the husband was a very hot temper man who could be scolding the family with the slightest mistakes made. In fact the husband was an educated and knowledgeable person who held an important government key post. An arrogant father who constantly canned and slapped his children, when he was furious and upset. Non of his children love him. His wife being the soft one could not overcome his nasty behaviour.

With some courage and to see whether my judgement is correct, I asked RT a very personal question. Was your husband a highly sexual person? Without hesitation she promptly said yes. Not only highly in sex but rather a sex addict. Ever since he married the wife, he insisted sex almost every night. If the wife was tired or exhausted, he would still demand a "quickie" or a short game to settle his urge. When he faced challenges on his work, he solved his problems by "sex first and work comes later." As his wife, she had to give way to him on obligation rather than for love. At the age of 50, though the man was still a healthy man without any sickness, he was succumbed with a heart attack which killed him almost instantly. Non of the family members shed tears over him.

My judgement was correct. A person who is highly in sex is normally an intelligent person. An intelligent person always has high expectation in life. If their demands are not catered or fulfilled, they get upset and frustrated quite easily. They can turn arrogance, aggressive and violent in approach. The only way to balance their calmness and tranquility in mind, is more sex activities. Unless a compatible partner is matched, the highly sex person might not satisfy his or her attainment. Then...the real problem begins..Its just the repetition of RT and her family. I believe it happen everywhere. Perhaps you might be the one who is reading my blog too.

Something to ponder - "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand" - Woody Allen