Madam Ku has two little daughters, eight and five. Both seemed to love the mother a lot. I asked her this simple question, "You treat the children as daughters or more like friends?" She was a bit puzzled, "What's the different?"
I told her, if the children take her as friend, most likely they won't be afraid to tell mum everything, the bad and the good as well.
With her permission, I asked both children another question. "Do you tell everything without fear to your mum all the time?"
The younger one wasn't sure because she might not know the meaning of this question. However the elder sister was brave to tell us these, "I love my mother and I would tell her everything, except when I don't do well in my studies, I would hide it from her!!!"
The mother was caught with surprise by her daughter's statement. I cautious her not to get angry, otherwise the little girl might not tell the truth the next time. With this remark, it relates the girls are still treating the mother as parent, rather as good friend.
As parents, we set rules and regulations for the growing children. We have high expectation on their progress and personal development. We praise for their achievement on one hand, and on the other hand we might show temper and anger when they make mistakes. At the end result, children might not tell the truth to the parents, for fear of punishment and dissatisfaction.
I think the best and ideal method to bring our children up is to befriend them as good friends. Because its only as friends, trust and confidence could be drawn nearer. Then fear and shame could be erased from this beautiful relationship. Is definitely not easy but Madam Ku agreed to attempt to change her attitude towards her children. What about you?
Food for thought - "Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes" - Chinese Proverbs quotes
I told her, if the children take her as friend, most likely they won't be afraid to tell mum everything, the bad and the good as well.
With her permission, I asked both children another question. "Do you tell everything without fear to your mum all the time?"
The younger one wasn't sure because she might not know the meaning of this question. However the elder sister was brave to tell us these, "I love my mother and I would tell her everything, except when I don't do well in my studies, I would hide it from her!!!"
The mother was caught with surprise by her daughter's statement. I cautious her not to get angry, otherwise the little girl might not tell the truth the next time. With this remark, it relates the girls are still treating the mother as parent, rather as good friend.
As parents, we set rules and regulations for the growing children. We have high expectation on their progress and personal development. We praise for their achievement on one hand, and on the other hand we might show temper and anger when they make mistakes. At the end result, children might not tell the truth to the parents, for fear of punishment and dissatisfaction.
I think the best and ideal method to bring our children up is to befriend them as good friends. Because its only as friends, trust and confidence could be drawn nearer. Then fear and shame could be erased from this beautiful relationship. Is definitely not easy but Madam Ku agreed to attempt to change her attitude towards her children. What about you?
Food for thought - "Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes" - Chinese Proverbs quotes
No comments:
Post a Comment