Appreciation not condemn.

CF, a young lad who made his first trip to Shanghai for a holiday alone to visit his elder brother. Before taking off from home, his mother who had been to Shanghai before, briefed his son regarding the China airport city transportation. Upon arrival to the airport, the best way to reach his brother house was by the official taxis piling along the front terminal. By the clocking of the taxi meter, the estimated fare should not be more than yuan 180 for an one hour journey.

The next morning, CF called home through Skype, letting his mother knew that he had arrived safely. I happened to be around over hearing the son and the mum conversation. CF sounded a bit sad and frustrated, because he was taken a ride by a con limousine claiming to be the official taxi from the authority. Instead of charging a fare of not more than 180, the aggressive Chinese driver insisted a fare of 380 from the poor innocent CF. Though CF is an oversea Chinese but he was cheated by another local Chinese.

Instead of having sympathy over the child, the mother scolded furiously over the mike near to the computor. These were her angry words, "You were so stupid!! I had told you before you left that the fare is only 180 and yet you paid 380. You are brainless. Stupid and stupid!!!"

Over hearing their online chat, I could only listen and calmed the mother down. In empathy I thought, the lad was not stupid but rather was his mum. Perhaps he wasn't smart enough to understand the canniness of the outside world. After all, he wasn't a regular traveller and the first time to this huge city. I think the mum was stupid for not being able to understand the frustration of his mind. He had been forced and cheated by a stranger. If the mother could have being a smarter mum, she should have said, "Alright son. Is ok! Now that you have arrived safely there, I will feel better for you. I hope you will learn from this lesson coz I know you are my intelligent boy."

Lesson I learned...is always easy to criticise and condemn at the slightest mistakes but not easy to offer sincere compliment and appreciation when goodness has been done.

Food for the thought - "Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement -- and we will make the goal." - Jerome P. Fleishman

Can I ask sex directly...isn't offensive.

June is only 23, just finished her degree and is working now. She is one of my relative only daughter, simple, intelligence, attractive, and very mature for her age. As a smart girl, she always like mixing with older and wiser people for learning. Together with little darling whom she adores, we had a chance to mix freely recently on a shopping spree.

Over a chat, June who is also my keen blog reader, related my recent title, "Can I ask sex directly?" Her answer to us was a positive 'yes!' We both were stunned and surprised by her affirmation.

This was her explanation. If there is a gentleman and an admirable friend, who is brave to ask sex from me directly... in my heart, I would feel proud and excited. I feel great because I must have the sexiness and beauty to attract this man. Sexiness and attractiveness are beauty for woman. If I could not draw and capture attention on man, then perhaps I might not have the beauty of a sexy lady. Next...if the man who asks is sincere and I have the love and feeling over him, I would say 'yes' to him. To me, a sincere man must be prepared to take all responsibilities if he has the intention to have sex with me. Asking this direct question is not offensive to me. Further more, love & sex are important for couples before marriages.

WoW!!! I didn't know the younger generation thinks likewise. They have different thinking and feeling. Is a wrong to me but is a right to them. To my brother who might still be reading my blog, I think you should attempt your unoffensive sex question to the deserving lady in waiting.

To June, you are right in every sense. You have the sexiness to attract by the sight but don't forget the smell is equally important. Little darling and me could smell your body odor which you did not realize yourself. Most people concentrate the external personality and fail to adjust the inner physical. Suggest not only you buy those beautiful dresses, take a look with those body lotions or perfumes which could definitely attract more admirers for you. Remember the five senses of man; sight, hear, smell, taste and touch. You have achieved attraction from sight but overlook your smell in some way. We sincerely hope you could correct the necessary.

Food for the thought - "Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one of its culminating peaks. Apart from a few queer fanatics, all the world knows this and conducts its life accordingly; science alone is too delicate to admit it." - Sigmund Freud

Can & May!

WY Yap is an international traveller whose business requires him to work all over the world. As a man who needs to move so frequently, he has all the necessary telecommunication tools to be mobile. Over a friendly chat, he complained about the telemarketers or the marketing persons who are so unprofessional in their telephone approaches. Not speaking confidently is one issue but not knowing the different of an oversea call connected is ridiculous. Meaning... when one is calling a mobile hand phone which is roaming on oversea, the ringing tune is always slightly different from a local ringing. On roaming, the receiver has to pay for the calls received. No person will like to receive an unwanted prospecting call. Right?? (Note... for all salesperson.. please be aware of such information). If a telemarketer or marketing person is sensible, they should immediately disconnect those particular calls to avoid unnecessary disturbance to their prospects.

The saddest thing was...even WY Yap who accidentally picked up those silly calls, he repeatedly told them that he was speaking from oversea, the callers would still insist to continue talking. To make matter furious, the callers used this statement..."Can I speak with Mr Yap?" or at time "Can I speak to Mr Yap's wife?" 'Can' is a very authoritative word which is demanding and forceful. As a verb, 'can' in this application did not sound friendly and obliging. More so the callers were total strangers to him. They should use the verb 'may'..."May I speak to Mr Yap?" The may is softer to listen...with meaning like... to be allowed or permitted.

I totally agreed to Yap's explanation. Our marketing people are weak in every sense. They do not understand the ethics of telephone communication and their understanding of words application is rather weak. I hope the above could be an eye's opener to all people who handle sales and marketing.

When you are in love and have intention to date a new girlfriend, say..."May I take you for a dinner?" or "May I surrender my heart to you?" Not when you confess to her, you should say.. "Can I marry you my little darling?"

The verbs May and Can are simple words but they do have a lot of meaning in usage. Unless one uses them right, the end result might not be effective. The chat with WY Yap was definitely very fruitful and benefiting. May be some readers out there might offer some comments too!

Food for the thought - "If you can imagine it, You can achieve it. If you can dream it, You can become it. — William Arthur Ward.

"What a day may bring, a day may take away" — Thomas Fuller, (1608-1661), English clergyman, antiquarian.

Always see the good part of a person.

In my career as a professional life insurance agent, we try to be perfect on our job. Though I always attempt not to make mistakes, errors on my work do happen at time. I could be perfect most of the time, when I tried to please and be helpful to all my clients, but if I failed once or made one silly mistake, nobody is going to be happy with me. This phenomenon had been disturbing me for awhile...asking myself why our world is so unforgiving. Good work are seldom appreciated. Whereas mistakes are punishable or most noted in every way. One could have done ninety nine goods but when a single mistake is seen, that person is considered as unprofessional and unsatisfactory. So sad!!

While on my recent oversea trip, I befriended two love birds who happened to stay in the same hotel of mine. On the first day itself, I was admiring their relationship and their intimate. They were loving and romantic to my eyes. Wherever they went, they both would be holding hands or hugging each other. I could see them chatting endlessly all the time. I believe they were madly in love.

Surprisingly they were from the same city I came from and coincidentally we took the same flight home. We managed to check in the flight together and got the same seating besides as well. During the first hour on board, the three of us were having laughter and sharing. As this was a budget flight we had to order and pay our food and drink. We were seated in the centre row as arranged. By the time, the flight stewards came to us, all the best available food were sold to other passengers at the front and the back. Leaving us the least not tasty packet food left. After that, things changed for the worst between the two lovers beside me. They were having a slight argument in their language I did not understand. By the facial, I could sense the lady was unhappy over the man. We no longer talk for the rest of the journey. I knew unpretentiously something sour had occurred, when I could see the lady was closing her eyes with both arms crossed, showing her confrontation against her man.

When our flight landed much later, I had a chance to speak with the man over the misunderstanding on board earlier. His girlfriend was upset as she could not purchase the food she wanted. She was angry with him because he did not take her instruction to buy on line those meals when he registered the booking on the web. Should he had ordered those food on booking, the flight would have assured of their meals. According to him, he hadn't done such ordering before on line, except the booking of flight and destination. It was not his real intention not to order those meals in the first place. However he felt bad not being able to get the best meals for his lady on board. It was the last part of their holiday and yet he could not complete it with full satisfaction for his love. He was so sad too.

The above incident was truly an unhappy ending for these love birds' holiday. The man was trying so hard to please his love from start till the end. He was there all the time for her, escorting her everywhere, showering her all she needed, creating laughter and fun to amuse her, offering total affection and care, bought whatever she wanted, obliged her in every way if possible and yet when he made and being caught for one unintentional error, she throw her frustration and anger to the man who loves her so much. Back to my earlier statement again..."ninety nine rights cannot beat one wrong in life"....including love and romance. We talk so much about love... when love has got tolerance, patience, forgiving, unconditional giving, least expectation and always giving... but most of us fail to remember to apply what we have learned. After all, nobody is perfect in the first place...including this man who tried so hard to love. I had invited both this couple to read my blog and I sincerely hope both of them would forgive and forget what had happened. Why pick on the one wrong, when there are so many beautiful strength and value of a person. See the better side of him, and you will admire his potential in life.

Food for the thought - "When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive".

I am home from holiday.

Hi everybody! I am back and home sweetheart home again. I left on Tuesday to a neighbouring country where I purposely got lost to 'no where'. It was a relaxing holiday when I didn't bother about time and place. I used to go on tour to most part of the world when upon returning I tend to be more tired than before leaving. As far as I am concerned, on tour isn't considered to be a holiday but rather is seeing places of interest. One has to move so fast when you might not have enough sleep while touring. Not when I took this to 'no where' holiday. I woke up any time I liked, took late easy breakfast, window shopping with no buying, ate when I saw some interesting local food, relaxed at poolside to admire those lovely bodies, beach and sand, spa and massage to my leisure and walked aimlessly without any particular destinations. It was like seeing the world go round, especially when most people were on holiday mood now. Although I was alone but the world never let me to be lonesome because as long as I had the heart to meet and talk with people, there were new friends to be found. Smiles were the lauguages to meet people. Whenever I was asked...where I was from?? My rely was...I am from Planet Earth. Surprisingly some were so innocent to ask again...where is Planet Earth?? I could never imagine there are still many people in this world who do not know where is Planet Earth. Jokingly I told them....Planet Earth is a place where all people smile and live happily together.

Food for the thought - "There are hundreds of lauguages in the world but a smile speaks them all" - Frank A. Clark

What is sex to you?

I am going for a holiday tomorrow and taking an early flight. Be away for a few days, relax and get myself lost into the unknown. Just was I about to sleep, this brother disturbed me again. He sent a question to me on text. It was written..."Bro, what is sex to you and how you see it?" By right, he should be asking more on selling rather than these three letters word of curiosity. Since he isn't doing so well in sales, I might as well teach him a bit on sex. Perhaps when he understands sex deeper, he might do well in selling because sex is related to selling. Funny isn't it!!!

I replied him briefly with some thoughts on it. I think sex comes in many ways to different people and culture. Most take sex as vulgar, indecent, offensive, sinful or for the sake of lust. Out of lust, most people satisfy themselves through sex and have intercourse. This is temporary satisfaction of desire on sexual needs and wants. As long as two different opposite sexes agree, they can have sex without fuss over it. However, I am in different grouping my dear brother. To me...love and sex got to come together. With love come first, sex will be more beautiful, meaningful and lasting. Sex with true love, creates positive energy which can move all obstacles of life. Love with sex bonds a relationship closer. It enhances the vital force of the ying and yang energies or in Chinese, we called them as Chi. The unimpeded circulation of chi and a balance of its negative and positive forms in the body are held to be essential to good health in traditional Chinese belief.

Through the air and spirit of the chi (Ying & Yang), sex lives is happier and merrier. Brother, believe me ...when you heart is happy and contented, you tend to work harder and smarter all the way. Your facial will be brighter and your eyes will be sharper. Just few days ago, I met a lady doctor who is at her late forty and still a spinster. Her face was dull and her skin was aging. She didn't look a happy person to me. I think she lacks love and sex. An unsatisfied person is always an unhappy person. Brother, you have came the rightful age to be married and yet you still remain single, I am worried that something is missing in your system. Yes! You could have got the lust for sex when you hit and run, which were temporary of no benefit. You lack also the chi badly. Without the balance of life energy through love and sex, I am sorry to say...your personal life would definitely be affected in some ways.

Is getting too late now. If you are still interested to go further on the subject of sex, please arrange a special class of ten person (5 males & 5 females), I promise to discuss this topic with all of you again. I talk life insurance and I can share love & sex too.

Food for the thought - "Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one of its culminating peaks. Apart from a few queer fanatics, all the world knows this and conducts its life accordingly; science alone is too delicate to admit it." - Sigmund Freud

Caught in a tight situation.

I love talking and equally I like body massage. Every week without fail, I distress and pamper myself with a good massage. Last time I fancy the Thai traditional type, but lately I think the Chinese traditional and leg reflexology are more relaxing. I spend one hour on the leg, and one and half hour on my entire body from head to toe done by female masseurs.

As usual this afternoon on a beautiful Sunday, I was being massaged by my regular masseur. Half way the massage, I felt a little upset in my stomach. There was gases in my intestine and I felt like farting. To fart it out would be nice when gases were being released. However I was controlling my 'breaking wind' as she was rubbing my body gently. On the other hand when I was resisting my fart from being released, I tend to tighten my body muscle which I should not. The purpose of massaging is to relax our muscle for better blood circulation. The worst was, when she started to rub my two buttocks while I held my fart from farting. I was caught in a difficult situation...the sensation was nice while she rubbed my rear pelvic area but my stomach gases were also developing to a higher intensity of being blown out sooner.

I could not relax as my mind was being disturbed. Though my eyes were closed, I was actually awoke. Few questions were in my mind. The first...should I just fart out the heavy gases which might be smelly. Imagine her face was directly over my backside. If I fart at that moment, she would be shocked and it is not a good manner to fart with someone around. The second choice... tell her I am farting and please excuse me. However I felt shameful to tell her my problem. The third choice...remain silent but have to suffer for another one hour. Puzzle and puzzle!!! I didn't not know what was the best way to solve this problem!!! It sounds stupid but believe me, all of us had encountered such similar situation before. Some managed to escape without offending others or perhaps you might not bother but just fart as much as you like. Would like to open to readers who might have a better way to behave under such circumstances.

"When a fart is suppressed the gas may be absorbed by the gut. Most of the hydrogen and other gases eventually escape in the breath, but luckily the smell does not get through".
— Adam Hart-Davis