All ladies must read.

On Nov 29 2008, my title was..."All men must read". One reader, RL suggested for women as well. Perhaps this one might sound good for today..."All ladies must read".

In the world of romance, one single rule also applies to ladies. Make us, men happy. Do something he likes, and you ladies get points. Do something he dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get points for doing something he expects. Sorry, that's the way our game is played. Here is a guide to the point system and hope all women like them:

Simple duties

You get up first, and let him sleep longer (+5)

He gets up first, and you sleep longer (0)

Breakfast is ready when he is awake(+10)

He has to prepare breakfast (0)

You eat together with him (+1)

He eats alone and you do your thing (-1)

You listen his morning chat (+10)

You talk more than him before he leaves the house (-1)

You hug and kiss him (+5)

You smile (+1)

You do nothing while he leaves home (-5)

Social Engagements

You stay by her side the entire party (-1)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with the surrounding (+1)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a male (-2)

Named David (-4)

David is a playboy (-6)

David is single and is handsome (-10)

David is your ex-boyfriend (-500)

You dress attractively with admiration (+2)

You dress attractively and speak confidently with his friends (+5)

You hold his hand while socialising with male friends (+5)

You introduce him as your sweetheart to males (+10)

His birthday

You forget his birthday (-1000)

You take him out to dinner (0)

You take him out to dinner and listen to his stories (+10)

Buy him a present (+5)

Add a smile, hug & kiss (+10)

Plus Sex included (+500)

A night out

You take him to a movie (0)

You take him to a movie he likes (+4)

You take him to a movie you hate (-10)

You take him to a movie you like (+2)

Plus holding his arm while watching the show (+10)

Whispering in his ear...Thank you & I love you (+100)

Before the show ends...promise him sex is later (+1000)

Enjoy the "big" question

He asks, "Are you happy with me?" (Yes +10)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Now?" (-35)

You reply, "Yes, especially on bed" (+1000)

Communication

When he wants to talk about an issue, you listen (+10)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+100)

You listen without interrupting (+500)

You change his subject (-1000)

Now what chance do you have???

Man is man!! We have difference characters, emotion and feeling. Just for the sake of laughing, let me share these with the ladies. Five Rules For Men To Follow For A Happy Life:

1. Get a woman who helps at home, cooks and clean up.

2. Get a woman, who can make you smile and laugh.

3. Get a woman who you can trust and who does not lie to you.

4. Get a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It is very important that these four women do no know each other.

Remember...Its just a joke ladies!!!!

Ineffective communication causes misunderstanding.

Yesterday early morning, Jennifer, one of my client called. She wanted to make sure I am still alive and are still selling life insurance. According to her, her husband Mr Yim received one of our company telemarketing call, informing him that I had expired. The word... 'expired' could either mean I am dead or my contract with my principle company has expired. I was shocked to hear her news and she felt so relieve to know I am still around. I could not believe, my company would say such uneventful and meaningless statement. I was very upset and without ado, I immediately confronted the relevant parties in the office.

All our telemarketing calls are recorded whenever a telephone call is made. Upon checking and verifying, this was what happened and transpired. The telemarketing teams were trying to promote some new products for our existing clients. Randomly they picked names and called our clients. As most of the telemarketers are young and inexperienced, they spoke with scripts pre-written without the natural flow of words.

One part of the script lines were written as... "We are calling you sir, because the agency promotional month had expired.....". Instead the telemarketer said..."We are calling you sir, because the promotional agent had expired...". Her voice lacked confidence, not clear and the flow was uneven. She made mistakes without realizing herself. There is a lot of difference between "agency promotional month had expired" and "promotional agent had expired". She had missed out the word, month and twisted those few words accordingly.

From the recording, they could hear and listen to their own mistakes. Although it might seem a simple error but the poor communication caused ill feeling, misunderstanding or miss interpretation, anger and frustration. If unaware and not corrected, in the long run, it might lead to more damages to all parties concerned.

I am glad those whom I had spoken to like, Yen Ling, Rachel Ong and Ann Lim from the marketing team, took the initiative to investigate the above matter seriously. I could be upset for a short while on this error of communication, but certainly I would not blame them for this unintentional mistake because no body is perfect in this world, moreso they are still young and are inexperienced in work. Especially speaking on phone to a stranger. It takes a lot of training and assistance before one can master the confidence. In order to help my colleagues, I offer myself willingly to a half day talk on effective communication with them.

This is the letter written by Rachel to her boss Ann Lim....

Dear Ann,
Just spoken to Mr. Robert Foo, I have apologised to him and Mr Foo shared some of his findings and experiences for our better improvement. Meanwhile, I have called Mr. Yim and apologised on this matter also. Mr. Foo shared some of his tips which can help to get better attention from customers over the phone. We will brief all TMR again on how important it is to speak to customers with proper language and the meaning of the words. We need to ensure our TMR maintain their professionalism. If possible, I suggest that we can invite Mr. Robert Foo to come over our call centre again for his sharing. I found his sharing is quite useful.
Thanks & Regards, Rachael Ong

Ann Lim had invited me to talk with her staffs on the 9th January 2009. Yes! Shine or rain I will be there because effective speaking and communication is important in life.

Specially for the marketing team - "Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals, whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers." - Les Brown

An interesting life till death.

I have more younger friends than the older ones. In fact I feel more comfortable talking with those younger than me. They listen and easily get excited with my sharing all the time. To talk with the older one I need a lot of patience and understanding. Otherwise I would be lectured easily by them.

Just like this particular incident when I last visited an old childhood friend. He is Steven who runs an old sundry shop in PJ. We grew up together and studied in the same school. When he was young, he was an active and a jovial person. However as he grew older, he became self-centred, arrogance, stingy, unfriendly, unloving and lonely. The shop of 30 years he owns, did not change a bit but rather looks very run down. I hardly saw any customer buying from his store when I was in his place. There was no assistant and he practically had to manage his business all by himself. He still drove the same Madza saloon car which was bought new 35 years ago. Although he is still married with his same wife but she is not staying with him. Reason...she could not tolerate his character. He has four children and non wants to follow his footstep. He claimed he works everyday, from Monday to Sunday but yet business is bad and unproductive. The only breaks he took was the Chinese New Year when he might visit some near relatives. He had never gone for any holiday since 30 years ago.

While in Steven shop, I shared with him my life. Though I am of his age, I feel like I am 37 turning 36 only. I look forward to the world with challenges. Everyday is an exciting day for me coz I like to be playful with fun. Not only I have many young male friends but I have countless dears, honeys, darlings and one sweetheart out there. They are all my secret admirers who respect and adore me. I love them and they love me as well. I enjoy every moment of my life without regret.

Before I could finish my sharing with Steven, he interrupted me with force. This was what he said..."You are a disgrace of the old. As we age, we should age gracefully and not be playful and naughty like before". Added with ###@@@**** which were not pleasant to listen.

He claimed he is a wise person whom I should listen. I scratched by head with puzzle from the advices he had spoken. Should I follow his wisdom, when I should live an uninteresting life or life should be interesting no matter what age I am!!! In the car my driver asked..."Boss! Is Steven your uncle?" Thanks God! I am not Steven.

Food for the thought - "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore dreams" - Mark Twain

Not easy to please everybody.

Ah Han is an old friend of more than 35 years. He is an non believer of life insurance. A typical Chinese who runs a nite foodstore selling satay. It was his late first wife who took the initiative of listening my advice before she effected a simple whole life plan for the husband 27 years ago. That was the time, I started selling life insurance. Could be she bought out of obligation rather than he needed the insurance. As a good wife, she faithfully paid her husband premium even he did not like it. Seven years ago, his wife passed away after a long sickness. After that, Ah Han refused to continue his own policy and quietly without my knowledge discontinued and surrendered his plan directly with our main office in town. I felt so sad when I knew about it later. I could not believe...wife paid and he benefited the saving.

Four years ago, I had a chance to meet up with him at his home. He was lonesome and his two children, a son and a daughter had left him ...for reasons I really won't know. My senses told me, he was no longer as young as before. He was already 57 years old, still stubborn than ever and stingy. I knew very well I had to press him again for life insurance because time was against him. Before age 60 all life insurances could be purchased but after age 6o no one would be interested to insure him. It took me much time, afford and patience before I could convince him. He kept saying that he did not need insurance protection because he had saving in the bank. He rather keep cash than holding a piece of paper in insurance. Reluctantly he signed a minimum hospital & surgical medical plan of the lowest benefit. To him, he felt that he was doing me a favour. For the first two years, he made me to collect his monthly premium at his home before I managed to request him to change to auto debit through his banker.

Recently Ah Han was admitted to the hospital where doctors diagnosed him to be suffering from liver cancer. He was accompanied by his second wife whom he remarried two years ago. When he was at the hospital, he wanted to admit to a single bedded room and be treated in a first class comfort. However when he was told his medical insurance could pay only the minimum benefits, he and his wife became upset and furious. Although he was discharged recently, the hospital reminded him to prepare the money needed for the follow-up treatment. It would cost him a bomb!!

Today I had a chance to meet them at his home again. Before I could brief them how his existing plan could help him on his long term care, his wife furiously threw her anger at me. Claiming these remarks...what a lousy company you represented!..no first class benefits!.. we have little saving now, who is going to pay for all his medical fees!.. We had paid diligently four years premium and he did not get the full benefits from you! ... the medicine and drugs are expensive! ... my husband cannot be working any more at the food store! ... our income will drop! ..who is going to take care of us! ...what happen if he dies! .... his two children are not bothering his father! ...he has no saving in the bank! .... we are at lost! ... please help us!!!!!

Her husband was listening. He did not utter a word. Deep in his heart, I knew he was sad and regretted for not listening my sincere advices fours years ago. I held his arm firmly and said..."Ah Han, I will do my best within my means. You may not get the best from this medical plan but at least part of your burden is taken care". He nodded his head acknowledging his guilt.

Wondering myself now...have I done right? Perhaps somebody out there can tell me.

Something I learned now - "You can never get enough of the things you don't need, because the things you don't need can never satisfy." - Marvin J. Ashton

Pull or push?

One of my friend, Eugene is migrating to Australia soon. According to him, there are two main factors for leaving the country. Either is the pull or push or both factors. The pull factor is the attraction from the migrating country provides and the push factor is from the country originated from. Currently he is affected by both factors, which give him more reasons to move.

The pull and push are interesting words to me. Without the pull of my clients, I would not have lasted so long in my business. Their 'pull' comes in the form of respect, value and hopes which attracted me to work harder. I consider the push is good and not a negative force in me. Without pushing myself, I won't have been successful in the first place. Further more without pushing, nothing would move.

Even in winning over women, men need the pull and push. The ladies have to be intelligence and attractive, to pull the attention of men. Without this pull of woman's charm, men won't push so hard to gain the love from them. Whether we like it or not, the forces of pull and push are important in our life. Know where to locate the pulling energy and tap the pushing force to get what you want.

Food for the thought - "Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light" - Norman B. Rice.

9 + 1 = ONE brain

Is there a remote control to adjust the look of a person? Sounds funny!!! Isn't it? If a lady is too sexy, some would say she is bad...not good for good man. If her busts are huge, you say she is tempting or if they are small, you complain....ayah!!! flat like airstrip. If she is attractive, you say she wants to attract attention but if she is simple, you don't want to look at her. This is not only applicable to ladies, men like us are not spared too. I dress young with fanciful sport shirt and jean, they said I am naughty and playful but if I change to dull and simple clothing, they said my days are gone.

Not only look is commented coz emotion is being observed as well. If a lady is too romantic and loving, you say she is bitchy and itchy but if she is not...you say she is not a woman. I am a caring and loving man who dare to express my feeling openly. They said I am a playful naughty old man. If I pretend to be a goodie goodie person, they said I have lost my manhood already. Which ever way, we try to look and feel...the world will still criticise and comment on us. The only way to live is to live for yourself. Be happy with what you are and not afraid of what others see in you.

While writing on my blog, I am learning from those who shared on my readers' comment columns too. Yesterday one of my regular reader, Red Lavender wrote something interesting which I like to share. She said...."A saying = A man have 9 brains while the woman have 1 brain. To conclude a man + woman = complete brain. The fact is, noone can live alone, there must be that someone who makes us the wise person to enrich the relationship and develop it to become what we call LOVE. Love give us meaning to life and everything with love becomes so balance when managed wisely by the man and supported well by the woman. Its the fact of life..GOD works in amazing ways".

Have to tell little darling, I have the 9 brains and she has the one to make it complete our brain. With it, we have LOVE.... we need not be bother how people look at us. Coz love has the miracle of life. Thank you Red Lavender for such simple formula of love.

Food for the heart - "Only when we give joyfully, without hesistation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means" - Leo Buscaglie

To love with trust and joy.

Coming back to Irena's topic two days ago on.. "U can't sell when U are unhappy"... I was saying that I will attempt to write further ...."To love with trust and joy". Perhaps is a public holiday tomorrow, I think many Malaysian would be free to enjoy reading this title, especially those who are unhappy over romance love.

Though love has pleasure, pain is unavoidable with it. To be in love or to be beloved, is a sensational feeling. You can easily notice those who are in love with their joyful eyes and their smiles are always sweet. Be careful...not when you have fallen out of love or should there be any misunderstanding on love, your sunken face will show.

Irena had complained that her boyfriend has caused her miserably because he is the very possessive type. He disallowed her to meet male prospects and clients, and restricted her movement. His jealousy is so strong, which inconvenient Irena to meeting all her male friends. I really felt sorry for Irena who has lost her freedom over night.

I might have not seen Irena boyfriend before but with her description, I strongly believe this man definitely lacks personal confidence. To love a person, is to care for her and making sure she is happy and joyful all the time no matter what happen. He has to be patience and kind to her. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Loving the person, he has to put in the extra effort. Love always hopes and perseveres which will lead to trust. Unless the man understands totally what is love, he will fail in love.

My little darling is an intelligently mature and very attractive lady. Though sometime I might feel jealous a little when she goes to meet some important males, I will never stop her in all her meetings with others. Deep down in my heart I actually feel proud that others are admiring her beauty and intelligence. I have the fullest trust in her because I am capable to love her more strongly than any men around. If for any reasons, there is another better man who can win her even though I have given my best, I have to give way for such a man. Loving her is to make sure she has the best in everything. To make sure I am always the deserving man for her, I cannot take her for granted but to continue to shower her all my passionate love forever. Only those who do not have the confidence, thought that by controlling their love, relationship might last. In actual fact, love is locked through the heart and not the mind. You give the heart the trust and the mind the joy.

To the one I love - "May our relationship last forever. May I sail upon your sea. May we go through life together. May there be always be a WE. May I be your endless sky. May your breathe my gentle air. May you never wonder why! Each time you look for me, I am there. May we be for each a smile. Like the warm, life giving sun. Yet we are in pain awhile. May our suffering be one. May we share our special days. The happiness one for two. And if we go separate ways. Let my love remains be with you."