Laugh Please!

Punjabi Mathematics.

A Punjabi woman says to her mother:
'I'm divorcing Ranjit... all he wants is anal sex! anal sex!!.. and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin when it used to be the size of a 5 cent coin!!

The Mother responds:
'Dear Sheila - You're married to a millionaire lawyer ...
you live in an 7 bedroom mansion in Damansara
you drive a Mercedes ...
you get RM10,000 a week allowance ...
you take 6 vacations a year .....,you got 5 maids,
2 drivers,3 gardeners,2 cooks
.....and you want to throw all that away for a mere 45 cents???

The joke was shared by a good friend, a professor and as naughty like me. We believe...All work no play, makes Jack a dull boy. Do you know - "Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors? - Norman Cousins

Are you a gentleman to ladies?

I am glad my good friend, Fariza has finally found her ideal partner, a Caucasian and not a Malaysian. She had married once, many lovers and all are local males. Not one could really make her happy in love. Until she brought up her courage to fall in love with a foreigner who is of different culture and faith.

I agreed with Fariza, most of our men here are not true gentlemen. In the first place, we are not as romantic as what we claimed. Perhaps romantic to us might be just the few moment on bed and after that, we lost the loving care and attention towards our ladies in attendance. Can't blame our women, they are afraid to fall in love with the courting men, who are inconsiderate!

The other weaknesses i personally observed, most of us are arrogance with high ego, especially after falling in love with their ladies. We are selfish and ungenerous, especially on financial matters. Go to the restaurants and observe yourself. Over at the cashier counter, you would notice all bills are shared by their friends. The male has no courtesy to pay for the females, unless he has benefit over the companies. Sometimes even young lovers insist to share their expenses, for every single cent counts. We have not learned the pride to pay for another friend, more so for females. Thanks God! I never allow ladies to pay whenever they are with me.

On tipping! We are really bad. We expect high and efficient services but we shy away on tipping. Not only are the men, the ladies are equally the same. I hope my little darling has learned to tip and appreciate those who rendered service to her. Unless we, the males are prepared to change our attitude and approach, we wound never be considered as true gentleman like this Caucasian.

I like this statement - "Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time." - Luigi Pirandello

Eyes reveal thought.

Tesh is my God daughter and she is only sweet fourteen. Whenever she spoke with me, she was afraid to look at my eyes. I guessed she was shy! The last i advised her, its a manner to speak with another person face to face and preferable eye to eye.

I gave her a few good tips. The eyes reveal the hidden thoughts of the person. The eyes show the joy and sadness of oneself. Sometimes a person might pretend to be happy, but the eyes reflect the truth of sorrow. To know a person better, sight his sincerity and passion from the eyes because the gesture and movement of them show. A con man has suspicious eyes and a kind hearted one has a warm friendly look. A cocky eye is dangerous, a sneaky eye is treacherous and a snaky eye has to be avoided at all cost. In love the eye flashes with romance and blissfulness. Not out of love when the eye is dead. When is agreeable, eye signals faster than the lip because it shines and grows. Be careful when is disagreeable, coz that is the time anger and frustration could be thrown from the sight as well.

In selling understanding the beauty of our eyes because that is the place where all information could be gathered without the prospects relating the truth. For love and romance, the more you have to master the magic of this vision because the eye has a pathway to the heart where love resides. Tesh has a pair of loving eyes, they tell me she is an intelligent, caring, adventurous and an interesting lady. I am so proud of her and equally her mum has a beautiful pair of sexy eyes too.

This is true fact - "An animal will always look for a person's intentions by looking them right in the eyes." - H. Powers

Peace of mind.

A story from a spiritual friend...

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty.. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,“See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water.

Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.” What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, “It is effortless.” Having ‘Peace of Mind’ is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

This is a very blissful story with lessons of STRENGTH....COURAGE to pursue....have loads of PATIENCE..... In life everything goes on... Keep Going. Have a peaceful Life ! KEEP SMILING not because of something but inspite of everything.

Teamwork RF2P is here.

Less Me More We...

Recently i had formed a team, namely RF2P, comprising of myself, Fizah, Faisal and Pris who are prepared to share our experiences of work. In our course of selling life insurance, we have had gathered some knowledge and understanding of how people live and work. Our nation has created the theme OneMalaysia with the hope and vision that we could live and work together happily as a team of one nationality. Yes! Teamwork begins from the family, where the man leads his woman and children. Without happy homes, there would be no happy and committed people to work for all the companies. Without people and the winning companies, our country would not prosper and be peaceful. With this concept in mind, we opened our arm to our friends, who invited us to their place of work to deliver our TEAMWORK presentation.

Last week, we were invited to two different platforms to share our thought. The two companies were High Point Nurani and Sym World, who have great vision and strength. We did our part by motivating all their staffs, we introduced the 30 attributes of a star performer and explaining the important of having the right attitude in lives. We convinced them that a positive attitude person is always a likable person who gives more willingly. We proved to them that right attitude is even more powerful than being intelligent by having exciting games and plays, which needed teamwork and strategic planning to work. The sharing ended with plenty of fun, they learned what is integrity, humility, sense of humour, self drive, determination, confidence, responsible, effective communication, organized, good listener, empathy, focus, decisive, belief, goal oriented, enthusiasm, common sense, detail master, dependable, dedicated and loyalty.

The bosses asked what was our charges for the entire shows. We replied...give us your smiles and plenty of love. One of the Director Dato Harith sms me this text; "I personally feel that we had benefited from your team performance. At least Shaari and Haji Wadud held my hand during the game without hesitation. We made a good start and look forward for another session. Thank you very much and regards to your team RF2P".

Though RF2P had spent many hours of preparation on these sharing, my teammates enjoyed every moment of our work together. I reminded them...Happiness is to see others happy as well, and succeeding in lives. Definitely we are not ending here but rather we are only beginning, we expect more invitation to come.

The definition of teamwork is "Co-operative effort by the members of a group or team to achieve a common goal".

Every problem has a solution.

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a female village moneylender. The female moneylender, who was old, fat and ugly, fancied the farmer’s handsome son. So she proposed a bargain. She said she would forego the farmer’s debt if she could marry his son. Both the farmer and his son were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning female moneylender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. She told them that she would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty moneybag. Then the son would have to pick one pebble from the bag. If he picked the black pebble, he would become her husband and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If he picked the white pebble he need not marry her and his father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if he refused to pick a pebble, his father would be thrown into jail. They were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer’s field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As she picked them up, the sharp-eyed son noticed that she had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. She then asked the son to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the son? If you had to advise him, what would you have told him? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities: The son should refuse to take a pebble. The son should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a lying, backstabbing female cheat. The son should pick a black pebble and sacrifice himself in order to save his father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The son’s dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if he chooses the above logical answers. What would you recommend to the son to do? Well, here is what he did….
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The son put his hand into the bag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, he fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. ‘Oh, how clumsy of me,’ he said. ‘But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.’ Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that he had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit her dishonesty, the son changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don’t attempt to think. A man is but a product of his thoughts… M. K. Gandhi.

Just want to make you smile.

Weekend jokes.

I collect adult cartoons too. You can either giggle in your heart or laugh aloud, because a little humour is good for our health.

Garrison Keillor said "Humour is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody".