Good verses bad.

Last Saturday I had a chance to meet up with Helmi who was celebrating his 24th birthday. A talented self employed young man who specialist in art and design. Over a discussion this interesting question was forwarded to me..."If God gave you a choice to experience the extreme good and the extreme bad, which would you pick?" Mmmmmm!!!!

I was accompanied by another attractive intelligent lady partner then. Without hesitation, I offered the attending lady to answer this unexpected question first. My partner said she would rather go along with the extreme good, select those which are useful and practical, and make the best out of them to help others.

This was my personal comment. I would pick the extreme bad first and later try the good. Without experiencing the bad part of life, I will never be able to understand and appreciate the goodness of what I have. To understand life is to know what is bad and good. A capable person is one who has gone through life with pain and suffering. When later he has to the goodness of himself, he knows how to keep and value them.

Helmi was amazed by complimented me with a 'five' for my favorable answer. He felt I was talking the same wave length with him. At his age, he had almost tried everything from sex to drugs, which all adults claimed are sinful and horrible in nature. However with his intelligence and smartness, he never got hooked up with any bad habits. Today this young man speaks more wiser than most of his peers. His friends are working for someone, whereas he works for himself. He is totally different because he darns to venture the both world of darkness and brightness. Though his parents might be concerned over him, I am sure he would make his parents proud given time.

Food for thought - "You must scale the mountain if you would view the plain" - Chinese Proverb

Success is a balanced life

Are you too focus on your career, work or business? Be aware, life is not just only work, work and work. Especially those of my fellow industry colleagues who are so carried away with selling of life insurance. The company and their agencies kept promoting and motivating their people to sell endlessly without knowing that work as a certain limit. In anything we do, there must be a limit...too much or too little is not good.

I have been affiliated with the Million Dollars Round Table for twenty seven years. The International Organisation has taught me to live by the Whole Person Concept or a balanced life in order to achieve a fulfilling live. It started thirty years ago, when The MDRT realized that there were many broken and unhappy marriages to the successful life insurance agents. Meaning, they were making good money in selling but at the expense of their personal and family lives. Success isn't in career alone, more so if one is selling family security and protection, the agent has to be a rounded person. An unhappy agent with a broken marriage doesn't reflex true success. Finally The MDRT developed an effective way to work and live, The Whole Person Concept was established for all aspiring agents.

The Whole Person Concept is a rounded wheel of life with seven spokes to determine the living styles of a person. The seven spokes are; 1. Career 2. Family 3. Health 4. Friends 5. Community 6. Financial & 7. Spiritual. If one is to focus only in career and neglecting the rest of the six spokes, his wheel of life will not be rounded. Not a rounded wheel will not move smoothly and evenly. Under such circumstance, the unbalanced wheel of life will fall in a matter of time. After all everyone is given 24 hrs a day, one has to manage his time accordingly to achieve the best out of the seven aspects of living. One could be considered as truly a successful person, if the seven ways of life are reached effectively. I sincerely hope all companies and their agencies would promote a balanced live to their working staffs, rather than just gaining sales and profits without bothering the welfare of the people.

Warren Buffett's definition of success - "You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong."

Passion, Belief & Love.

I received an email from one reader, Cheng.....

Hi Robert, accidentally I found ur blog n interested with ur experiences and wisdom.I m one year experience as the full time insurance agent but the result is part time insurance agent. I would like to seek for your advises or enlightenment for me to break thru in this career.Within these 15 mths in this career, I found that I cant break thru myself with working alone. I feel that my wisdom is more than my action. How to break thru /convert my strength into the action for the consistency performance? I believe in the insurance biz need the consistency but not the shooting star performance. Hopefully you may advise and enlighten me with your wisdom. TQ.

The three main key factors to sell successfully in life insurance are Passion, Belief and Love. Passion...have the desire to meet people, to listen and to understand them. Listening and understanding require plenty of patience and tolerance. After listening, you have to understand to provide all the necessary of what have listened. Listening is an art when others are confidence to speak the heart with you. Understanding is a skill when you could see what is life. Unless you have the passion to see people and are prepared to assist unconditionally, selling life insurance permanently might be tough. Can you see the lady who plays the violin with passion?

Belief...to believe life insurance as a religion or a miracle product which could benefit the needed. To preach with strong faith that our product offers the peace of mind to all families. Believe you are providing food, shelters, education and security to the world. Take yourself as a preacher and not a salesperson.

Love has magical force and energy. It could be created only if you know how to love others willingly with good intention. Be the best friends to those you know, and make sure you have your family support. No man or woman could live alone. Have an intimate love who could inspire and motivate you all the time.

Cheng, the above might sound simple but believe me...they work!

Food for thought - "If you have a passion, then you have something to contribute" — Catherine Muther

Did I Marry the Right Person

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Expensive woman.

Aristotle Onassis, the Greek Shipping magnate of the 20th century who declared this statement; "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning". I sms'ed this quote to few of my friends to see whether they agreed.

A retired Captain replied, "Agreed. A lot of money have been spent on women and they spent a lot of money too". Another naughty sales agent said,"True but money can't buy love. However money can create opportunity to make women happier with men". A bookshop distributor responded, "More than true brother, I agree". One caught me by surprise, a spiritual leader said,"Hi! Bro but why? You mean all the money is for them to spend? May as well give to charity!" Either he did not catch the statement or he doesn't like women. From a single mother, "I think so! Can't think without coffee. Aiyoh! Without your presence how to think?" A cheeky lady who has a European boyfriend replied," True sayang! Otherwise my love here will be the saddest man". Of all I like this remark from an intelligent lady..."If men didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning also...everybody will be very sad. Thank you for being The Real Man for your sweetheart... mmmmuuaaahhhh!!!"

Conclusion...without women, all men will have no incentive to live. With women, especially those we love, men tend to work harder and smarter for the purpose to flower their women with joy and admiration. Our world is so full of colour and excitement is because there is the existence of women.

I certainly agree with this phrase - "God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him".

Sex by appointment.

Mazuki is a client, turned good friend who always called on me for wisdom learning. Last few days over a cup of morning breakfast, when we met I noticed this young man did not look happy and cheerful. His voice lacked the enthusiasm and confidence. During our conversation, without him realising, he showed his temper and arrogance on me too. He was sad and frustrated because his business is failing and funding is extremely weak due to the current downturn.

I really can't blame him because life is always full of obstacles and problems. Is easy to sail over a calm sea but when the weather turns stormy, one has to learn to beat the strong wind against you. Otherwise obstacles and problems unchecked, would lead to stressfulness and tension. When you are stressful and frustrated, your thinking might be illogical and irrational. Your behaviour could be arrogance and unpleasant to those you communicate and interact. The best way to distress and release stress and tension is to have a good session of sex with the one you love.

After explaining the above matters to Mazuki, I asked him a personal question.."How often you make love with your wife and when was the last one? He said is getting lesser and the last one was on the Saturday night. I went further to ask..."Was it an impromptu session or a fixed appointment date and time between you and wife?" He was doubtful with that question! I explained; an impromptu sex is not a prearranged making, whereas by appointment is prefixed and agreed upon by them. The different between impromptu and by appointment are..the upper might not be fully prepared for the love making, one might be sleepy, or the other needs to sleep early because he/she might need to get up early tomorrow or either one isn't ready for the night. On the hand when appointment is fixed, a date that suits and convenient both, making sure both are fully geared for that exciting evening and preparing the necessary to have a good sex of the week. No effective business, sales, medical checkup, motor car services or holiday could be conducted without an appointment made. Once an appointment is granted, you rest assure the time and peace of mind are given...Including love making.

Mazuki is a healthy and normal growing man who needs an effective love making with his wife. However both currently are worried over their business and related matters, plus not having a satisfying sex, their stress levels remain extremely high at the moment. Perhaps if they attempt to change the mode from impromptu to appointment make, I am sure their sex making would definitely improve. The only way to prove my method is correct and ideal, why don't you, the one who is reading my blog now darn to try once and see. If it works to your sensational advantage, please don't forget to share your experiences in my comment's column. Ok?

Don't you think this is true here - "What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse." - Henry Miller

Love inspires.

I have a lucky friend who is always happy as ever because he has a most understanding and loving soul mate who knows how to impart her love energy to him. While he was still sleeping, she SMSed a meaningful message to her man. It was written.."Love is two minds without a single thought...love is like a colourful rainbow...love is you are in cloud 9...love is nutrients, water and oxygen... love is without speaking a word and you can feel, understand, touch, smell, taste and hear your soul mate all the time... Cool morning my love...wakey wakey!!!"

True enough! When he read these beautiful words in the early morning, he felt like he was in cloud 9. Without further ado, he replied her sweetheart...."Roses are red. Violet is blue. Sugar is sweet but not as sweet as you. I love you darling".

I have an American reader who said, "I don't know what a favorite cuisine is in Malaysia, but in America, we love pizza and there is a good old saying: "Sex is like pizza, even when it is bad, it is still good!" I shared with her this.."The English educated in Malaysia speaks alike, we like eating pizza too. The local here loves durian..king of fruits. Sex is like durian, the more it stinks, the more we eat. You must come over to try."

Anyway, love is not only sex alone but the benefits you derive from loving someone. The caring, affection, understanding, the giving or even a short message to the one you love, like the above. I am sure, my above friend and his sweetheart know how to build a strong bonding with each other. They inspire and motivate one another almost everyday, which are so most needed in our stressful and tiring life. To the one who is reading my blog now...are you happy and loving at the moment? If you are not...try sending an inspiring and affectionate message to the one you love and you will see some magic in them later.

I have learned some thoughts from Mother Teresa - "If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them".