I am preparing another talk for tomorrow with three of my closed associates. Ah Fei is one of them, the youngest at 36, single, creative, naughty but lack confidence. During my briefing, i asked him this question. What is the different of the mind and our emotion? He was speechless!
In simple language i related to him. The mind is the decider and our emotion is the negotiator. One good example for him was...he is interested in a new found girl, Wati whom i recommended through the phone. His mind decided to know her. They spoke for many days and spent hours chatting on the hand phone. While interacting and communicating with her, his emotional feeling gradually developed. His emotion started to question; is she attractive and sexy? does she accept my not so handsome personality? is she a choosy lady? is she expecting high hope on me? and endless thoughts. His own emotion is negotiating with his mind.
Next example on him...he is interested to teamwork with me on future presentation and training. His mind has decided to pick me as his mentor. We had gone through many updates and discussion. However on the final countdown for tomorrow event, his emotion is playing dirty with him again. His emotion doubts him whether he could speak when comes his turn, could the listeners on the floor laugh at him, would his own agency and manager complain, and more. Though he has decided but uncertainty lies ahead because of emotion.
The above character could be applicable to everyone, including myself. The best way to overcome such situation is to have a positive mind and a positive emotion at the same time. Be decisive, stay motivated, have pride in all your doings, remain single-minded and have belief in oneself. With these few strong attributes, one should have the confidence to overcome our negative emotion. To Ah Fei, i am sure you would win over Wati and success in career is a matter of time. I am sure you would speak well tomorrow.
Food for thought - "The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool." - George Santayana.
8 comments:
I think, dear Robert,that Ah Fei has more confidence than you give him credit for - after all, was it not only a few days ago that you spoke of his wiliness concerning Bob and Sue? He was certainly of a positive mind then!(I am teasing, Ah Fei, - Robert knows how much I like to joke.)
Jesting aside,the power of positive thinking is a skill that all benefit from learning. Our emotions are there for a purpose, but we are their master, not the other way around and we need to learn to control and put them to positive use. If Ah Fei psyches himself into believing that he is the handsomest man in the room (difficult, I know, when he has to compete with Robert!)and the best speaker there, then that attitude will convey itself to his intended audience - be it a roomful of businessmen or the sexy, beautiful Wati.It's a con trick we play on ourselves at first, but then, as our mind adjusts to the positive impact, it becomes a socially conditoned part of our being.
Also, as you look across the room at all those faces, if you feel nervous, remember that they are all human just like you and imagine them all sat on the toilet with their attire around their ankles - you won't be afraid of them, anymore! Ah Fei, you have a great teacher - with Robert at your elbow, you're sure to get both the career and the girl...xx
Hi my dear,
One of the attribute to be successful is a good sense of humour. You are truly a born joker. I was laughing while reading your story. I am sure you make everyone likes and loves you wherever you are my dear.
I am glad you added some pointers for Ah Fei and those who are lucky to read this title of the day. The way to control our emotion into positiveness and of efffective use.
Thank you for your sincere sharing. We will practise what you told us, especially this afternoon when we are on stage presenting our talk.
I hope it goes well. I will be thinking of you both...xx
Hi my dear,
We had a wonderful time, sharing our talk and Ah Fei though nervous before the session, had presented his thought very well. He read your comment and followed your advices pretty close. The crowd yelled with joy because we had games as well. I personally felt extremely happy because Happiness is to see others happier. And i made it happened.
Thank you for thinking of us...
Excellent news!
Congratulations, Ah Fei - the next time, you will be able to build on this success and it will be far easier...now, go get that girl!
...xx
Hi my dear,
Ah Fei is a shy guy who is afraid to comment here. He promised to go all out to win over Wati.
I'll expect an invitation to the wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xx
Hi my dear,
Why have to wait for the wedding! Come over now please. Give your blessing at the same time.
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