Listen to my silence.

Is funny! A 'No' could be a 'Yes'....if only you know better! My friend, Ah Fai was waiting for a respond from his new found friend, a voluptuous girl whom he is very much interested in. They had been chatting quite often over the phone. He wanted to date her out but each time when he requested for an outing, she would divert her attention to something else. He is scratching his head, wondering whether she isn't interested in him. Though he is an intelligent man, he isn't smart to understand the feeling of woman. Seeking my advice, I told him.... in contract law, silence doesn't mean one is agreeable. However when a girl who has interest over a man, silence means agreed. No woman would declare her love first to her man, neither would she kisses him if he doesn't make the first move. If the man has intention to kiss his new found girlfriend, he can't be asking for a kiss from her. He has to be smart to understand from her facial silence, whether she is agreeable to be kissed upon. At the same time, the man has got to be brave to shower her the confidence of romance. As he moves towards her, the silence of voice plus the closing of her eyes is a confirmation of a 'Yes'. Meaning she loves him and she is too willing to be hugged and kissed. Ah Fai.... her silence is also a 'Yes'...you should go ahead with the date.

Closing a sale is liking closing a romance. No prospect will reveal his true intention of buying a product or services. An experience salesperson observes the emotion of his prospect from his eyes and words. His silence doesn't mean is a 'No' but just that he has the pride not to say it as 'Yes'. So! Gently and softly, we have to treat him like closing a girl and encouraging her onto bed. So the next time when you got a 'No' on any occassion, think first before you accept it as 'No'. Perhaps is a 'Yes'.

Food for thought - "Silence is sometimes the best answer". — The Dalai Lama.

U can't sell when U are unhappy.

Irena called me, "Sifu! I am worried my business is bad. Most appointments are cancelled and I don't have many prospects to see. I am at lost and I don't know what to do. Can you help?"

Though Irena is a 5 years term life insurance agent, many other agents could possibly fall into such dilemma and not knowing what to do next. I only spoke to Irena on the telephone but her voice sounded unhappy from inside. The company could be offering many challenges and incentives at the tail end of the year or her agency manager is motivating and encouraging her to move, but when her heart and mind is unhappy....nothing will excite our poor Irena to work. If I could sense her voice is unhappy, I am sure those successful prospects whom she intended to approach would also be able to feel and notice. When a person is unhappy, the voice lacks confidence, the face doesn't grow with charm, the eyes are dull and the words spoken are not sweet. She might try to hide her unhappiness feeling, but without she realising, the emotion was translated to tension and stress which could be seen by others. Nobody likes to deal with an unhappy person because an unhappy person might be an unsuccessful person. Always remember this!!!

I reminded Irena this powerful quote - "A happy heart sees a beautiful world". If you are truly happy, nothing will stop you from moving. Upon checking with her on love and romance which is the most vital part of a young lady's life....she told me later...she is extremely unhappy with her present boyfriend, who is very possessive and making her lives miserably. Ahhh! That is!!! Her problem is not the market isn't good for selling but rather she is hindered by LOVE. Love has joy and it has pain as well.

Suggestion to Irena. Either she solves her matters with her boyfriend or introduce him to me, when I can enlighten both of them. Or give me sometimes, I will write a subject on..To love with trust and joy.

Food for thought - "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive." - Havelock Ellis

Love & career need determination.

Selling life insurance is like loving a person. To fall in love is easy but to maintain a love relationship is difficult. All loves and romances begin with excitement and happiness. Everyday is a joyful day when you are in love. The sight and smell of love create feeling of hope and desire. However along the journey of love, there bound to have obstacles of life. As long as there are emotion and feeling in love, misunderstanding and distrust might appear. It takes a lot of understanding and wisdom to withhold the strength of love. Unless your love is strong with passion and determination, not many loves could last a life time.

Selling life insurance at the beginning is exciting too. The company paints you a rosy picture of your dreams. You could almost get the impossible which you never had dreamed off. They offer you the fantastic holidays around the world, prestigious clubs, luxurious cars, expensive homes, unlimited income to be earned and more incentives to excite the beginners. The smell of these sensational offers would make all young agents go crazy. Nothing in this world comes easy! All success goes along with your hardwork, determination, concentration and prepared to take all hardship. The most difficult task in this business is rejection. Sometimes you need to take 20 rejection of 'NO' before you could receive one 'YES'. Meaning... is like being slapped 20 times before one pretty girl accepts your date. There might be many agents selling life insurance, not many could actually be able to stay long enough to deliver what they had promised.

So! Its like love and romance, if you are one agent who is reading my blog, do you really have the strong love, passion and determination to maintain in this tough business. Otherwise, most likely you would not last a life time like me. Selling is easy but to maintain it is definitely not easy and that goes with love as well.

William Shakespeare - Three sentences for success....a) Know more than others. b) Work more than others. c) Expect less than others.

Start the day with a cup of tea.

Myself and little darling are tea drinkers. Without a good cup of tea in the morning, we will just feel lousy for the whole day. Yesterday was a bad one because we were served tea without enough 'love' added. There was no hommm in it !!Though the breakfast was taken, we never felt happier after that. Tea isn't like beer which could be taken more. The most we could drink are three or two cups of tea or coffee per day. A good tea should be served hot with ceramic cup and spoon. The tea leaves have to be chosen right of good quality, colour and taste. Most importantly the passion of serving tea must be there. The most ideal person who can make me a nice cup of tea or coffee is my little darling coz she put in a lot of effort in making it. This is what I called LOVE added.

Drinking tea has many purposes, including doing business. Its always difficult to secure a business appointment but is easier to invite our contacts for a cup of tea. Over a tea or coffee, I had connected countless business opportunities and sales. Is uncomfortable to meet prospects in their offices or homes but over a cup of tea or coffee outside, I built bridges to reach their hearts. Friends or clients might be unhappy with you for some reasons, take them out for a cup of tea or coffee, magic would happen to make them laugh again. If you like a sweet girl and have intention to court her, the simpliest way to get to know her better...is to invite her for a cup of coffee or tea. Most love and romance starts from there. Without the excuse of a cup of tea, I would not have known my little darling then. For a cost of two dollars only!

Like I said, a good cup of tea to start the day and another to end the evening of sensational boat rocking. My little darling always asked, "tea, coffee or me?"

This is interesting - "The best quality tea must have creases like the leather boot of Tartar horsemen, curl like the dewlap of a mighty bullock, unfold like a mist rising out of a ravine, gleam like a lake touched by a zephyr, and be wet and soft like a fine earth newly swept by rain." - Yu Lu

Patience is a winning game.

I believe a creative person thinks faster than those who are non creative. I am one of them. It's good to be able to think ahead while talking to others. Meaning, before you finish your sentences...most likely I already have an answer for you. It took me a long time to control my thought and calmness. Just imagine...I have to keep listening, when I knew what you are trying to relate. If I interrupt your discussion, you might be offended or perhaps you might feel inferior for being a slow speaker. On the hand, to listen and knowing what you are trying to tell me, needs a lot of patience and tolerance. During my earlier years in business, I got very irritated, if I happened to meet slow thinkers due to impatience of listening. As I was also a methodical person who had high expectation in lives, made things even worst. I got angry easily and lost my temper without realising, I was offending many friends and relatives then. Through mistakes, I learned to slow down my thought and emotion. I set three important rules to control myself. They are 'don't worry', 'expect a little' and 'give a lot' in my interaction with others. After all, nobody in this world could be the same, some are smart and some are not so smart. I have a faithful secretary who has been working with me for sixteen years. Though she has all the experiences of my work, she still makes mistakes at times. The only explanation I could give is...if she could think like me, she won't have to work for me any longer. Most likely she would have be selling and turning herself to be another professional. I have lowered my expectation on others and listen more patiently without loosing my temper. It takes a bit of wisdom to understand life...so that I could live more happily with others. I sincerely hope you don't make the same mistakes of my past.

A good piece of advice -"Little by little, through patience and repeated effort, the mind will become stilled in the Self." - Bhagavad Gita

Beauty of the heart is more important.

Today's woman is much more attractive than before. In our life insurance industry, we have more female agents than the male. Each time, I walk into our office, there are more ladies than the gentlemen. Like this afternoon, I was surrounded by all ladies and I was the only man in the lift. Perhaps I was lucky to have all the pretty, beautiful, intelligent and attractive girls around. From the head to their toes, they looked gorgeous and eyes catching. To be presentable in their career, I am sure they are taught to dress well. Their hair-do come with the latest style and mixed with special colouring. A lot of money is spent on their faces to look charming. Cosmetic and facial cleansing are not cheap either. Besides the facial, they have to pick the latest clothing to blend according to their taste and fancy. Not forgetting to add some costume jewelleries to bring out their fashion. Next would be the proper high heel shoes to spur their elegant walk. No prospect would denial such beauties to their appointments. And that's why most male agents are loosing to the woman.

I might not be attractive as to these lady agents, but I have the beauty of a sincere heart which matters most. Should they have spent more time to develop a beautiful heart, I think all men and including me will be out of business. Perhaps The Universe is fair...they have the beauty of the outside and I have to the beauty of the heart. At the spur of the second, I will loose to them because sight is faster than hearing and sensing. All prospects love to see a beautiful lady agent but those who come with a beautiful heart will naturally build a longer relationship in business. However life is very funny! The outside beauty could be dressed and beautified but the inner beauty of the heart cannot be made except it comes blissfully by itself. Coz sincerity comes from the heart.

Food for the heart - "Sincerity and truth are the basis of every virtue." - Confucius

Smart cunning thinking.

Could not finish my smart story last nite. Here I am to continue the connection on being smart. Chong's story was 35 years ago. Today, I have another similar one which happened 15 years ago. It goes like this...there was this young man, Alvin who was only 23 then. With just one year experience working as an accounts executive serving an advertising agency, Alvin together with his girl friend, started their own advertising media. Although they worked very hard, it wasn't easy to gain entry to those big accounts. Most established companies preferred to work with the international house. Alvin with his creative mind, engaged two white men, one as art director and the other as managing director for his own company. Both were paid as part timer or to be paid whenever their services were required. The both white man names were printed onto their company profiles to look impressive. Each time when Alvin needed to see an important appointment, he would bring along the part-time MD and art director to show their credential. Instead his name card was printed as accounts director, thought he was the real owner of his firm. The white men were just to show their faces on the first visit and later Alvin was to follow all future calls. It was unbelievable! The business came pouring in with lesser afford.

The Asian always claimed the white man is intelligence by the fact of their look and personality. They might be intelligence but it's the smartness of a person who uses the craftiness to overrule the intelligent. Chong and Alvin were those who knew how to overcome the acceptance of being smart. Chong was my friend and Alvin is my first son.

Today we the Asian have not changed much. Even my principle company still appoints an English man to be the CEO of our business in Malaysia. You might not like it but that is the fact of life in Asia. I wonder when we are going to change!!!

Food for the thought - "Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline; simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness postulates strength." - Lao-Tzu