Not easy to please everybody.

Ah Han is an old friend of more than 35 years. He is an non believer of life insurance. A typical Chinese who runs a nite foodstore selling satay. It was his late first wife who took the initiative of listening my advice before she effected a simple whole life plan for the husband 27 years ago. That was the time, I started selling life insurance. Could be she bought out of obligation rather than he needed the insurance. As a good wife, she faithfully paid her husband premium even he did not like it. Seven years ago, his wife passed away after a long sickness. After that, Ah Han refused to continue his own policy and quietly without my knowledge discontinued and surrendered his plan directly with our main office in town. I felt so sad when I knew about it later. I could not believe...wife paid and he benefited the saving.

Four years ago, I had a chance to meet up with him at his home. He was lonesome and his two children, a son and a daughter had left him ...for reasons I really won't know. My senses told me, he was no longer as young as before. He was already 57 years old, still stubborn than ever and stingy. I knew very well I had to press him again for life insurance because time was against him. Before age 60 all life insurances could be purchased but after age 6o no one would be interested to insure him. It took me much time, afford and patience before I could convince him. He kept saying that he did not need insurance protection because he had saving in the bank. He rather keep cash than holding a piece of paper in insurance. Reluctantly he signed a minimum hospital & surgical medical plan of the lowest benefit. To him, he felt that he was doing me a favour. For the first two years, he made me to collect his monthly premium at his home before I managed to request him to change to auto debit through his banker.

Recently Ah Han was admitted to the hospital where doctors diagnosed him to be suffering from liver cancer. He was accompanied by his second wife whom he remarried two years ago. When he was at the hospital, he wanted to admit to a single bedded room and be treated in a first class comfort. However when he was told his medical insurance could pay only the minimum benefits, he and his wife became upset and furious. Although he was discharged recently, the hospital reminded him to prepare the money needed for the follow-up treatment. It would cost him a bomb!!

Today I had a chance to meet them at his home again. Before I could brief them how his existing plan could help him on his long term care, his wife furiously threw her anger at me. Claiming these remarks...what a lousy company you represented!..no first class benefits!.. we have little saving now, who is going to pay for all his medical fees!.. We had paid diligently four years premium and he did not get the full benefits from you! ... the medicine and drugs are expensive! ... my husband cannot be working any more at the food store! ... our income will drop! ..who is going to take care of us! ...what happen if he dies! .... his two children are not bothering his father! ...he has no saving in the bank! .... we are at lost! ... please help us!!!!!

Her husband was listening. He did not utter a word. Deep in his heart, I knew he was sad and regretted for not listening my sincere advices fours years ago. I held his arm firmly and said..."Ah Han, I will do my best within my means. You may not get the best from this medical plan but at least part of your burden is taken care". He nodded his head acknowledging his guilt.

Wondering myself now...have I done right? Perhaps somebody out there can tell me.

Something I learned now - "You can never get enough of the things you don't need, because the things you don't need can never satisfy." - Marvin J. Ashton

Pull or push?

One of my friend, Eugene is migrating to Australia soon. According to him, there are two main factors for leaving the country. Either is the pull or push or both factors. The pull factor is the attraction from the migrating country provides and the push factor is from the country originated from. Currently he is affected by both factors, which give him more reasons to move.

The pull and push are interesting words to me. Without the pull of my clients, I would not have lasted so long in my business. Their 'pull' comes in the form of respect, value and hopes which attracted me to work harder. I consider the push is good and not a negative force in me. Without pushing myself, I won't have been successful in the first place. Further more without pushing, nothing would move.

Even in winning over women, men need the pull and push. The ladies have to be intelligence and attractive, to pull the attention of men. Without this pull of woman's charm, men won't push so hard to gain the love from them. Whether we like it or not, the forces of pull and push are important in our life. Know where to locate the pulling energy and tap the pushing force to get what you want.

Food for the thought - "Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light" - Norman B. Rice.

9 + 1 = ONE brain

Is there a remote control to adjust the look of a person? Sounds funny!!! Isn't it? If a lady is too sexy, some would say she is bad...not good for good man. If her busts are huge, you say she is tempting or if they are small, you complain....ayah!!! flat like airstrip. If she is attractive, you say she wants to attract attention but if she is simple, you don't want to look at her. This is not only applicable to ladies, men like us are not spared too. I dress young with fanciful sport shirt and jean, they said I am naughty and playful but if I change to dull and simple clothing, they said my days are gone.

Not only look is commented coz emotion is being observed as well. If a lady is too romantic and loving, you say she is bitchy and itchy but if she is not...you say she is not a woman. I am a caring and loving man who dare to express my feeling openly. They said I am a playful naughty old man. If I pretend to be a goodie goodie person, they said I have lost my manhood already. Which ever way, we try to look and feel...the world will still criticise and comment on us. The only way to live is to live for yourself. Be happy with what you are and not afraid of what others see in you.

While writing on my blog, I am learning from those who shared on my readers' comment columns too. Yesterday one of my regular reader, Red Lavender wrote something interesting which I like to share. She said...."A saying = A man have 9 brains while the woman have 1 brain. To conclude a man + woman = complete brain. The fact is, noone can live alone, there must be that someone who makes us the wise person to enrich the relationship and develop it to become what we call LOVE. Love give us meaning to life and everything with love becomes so balance when managed wisely by the man and supported well by the woman. Its the fact of life..GOD works in amazing ways".

Have to tell little darling, I have the 9 brains and she has the one to make it complete our brain. With it, we have LOVE.... we need not be bother how people look at us. Coz love has the miracle of life. Thank you Red Lavender for such simple formula of love.

Food for the heart - "Only when we give joyfully, without hesistation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means" - Leo Buscaglie

To love with trust and joy.

Coming back to Irena's topic two days ago on.. "U can't sell when U are unhappy"... I was saying that I will attempt to write further ...."To love with trust and joy". Perhaps is a public holiday tomorrow, I think many Malaysian would be free to enjoy reading this title, especially those who are unhappy over romance love.

Though love has pleasure, pain is unavoidable with it. To be in love or to be beloved, is a sensational feeling. You can easily notice those who are in love with their joyful eyes and their smiles are always sweet. Be careful...not when you have fallen out of love or should there be any misunderstanding on love, your sunken face will show.

Irena had complained that her boyfriend has caused her miserably because he is the very possessive type. He disallowed her to meet male prospects and clients, and restricted her movement. His jealousy is so strong, which inconvenient Irena to meeting all her male friends. I really felt sorry for Irena who has lost her freedom over night.

I might have not seen Irena boyfriend before but with her description, I strongly believe this man definitely lacks personal confidence. To love a person, is to care for her and making sure she is happy and joyful all the time no matter what happen. He has to be patience and kind to her. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Loving the person, he has to put in the extra effort. Love always hopes and perseveres which will lead to trust. Unless the man understands totally what is love, he will fail in love.

My little darling is an intelligently mature and very attractive lady. Though sometime I might feel jealous a little when she goes to meet some important males, I will never stop her in all her meetings with others. Deep down in my heart I actually feel proud that others are admiring her beauty and intelligence. I have the fullest trust in her because I am capable to love her more strongly than any men around. If for any reasons, there is another better man who can win her even though I have given my best, I have to give way for such a man. Loving her is to make sure she has the best in everything. To make sure I am always the deserving man for her, I cannot take her for granted but to continue to shower her all my passionate love forever. Only those who do not have the confidence, thought that by controlling their love, relationship might last. In actual fact, love is locked through the heart and not the mind. You give the heart the trust and the mind the joy.

To the one I love - "May our relationship last forever. May I sail upon your sea. May we go through life together. May there be always be a WE. May I be your endless sky. May your breathe my gentle air. May you never wonder why! Each time you look for me, I am there. May we be for each a smile. Like the warm, life giving sun. Yet we are in pain awhile. May our suffering be one. May we share our special days. The happiness one for two. And if we go separate ways. Let my love remains be with you."

Listen to my silence.

Is funny! A 'No' could be a 'Yes'....if only you know better! My friend, Ah Fai was waiting for a respond from his new found friend, a voluptuous girl whom he is very much interested in. They had been chatting quite often over the phone. He wanted to date her out but each time when he requested for an outing, she would divert her attention to something else. He is scratching his head, wondering whether she isn't interested in him. Though he is an intelligent man, he isn't smart to understand the feeling of woman. Seeking my advice, I told him.... in contract law, silence doesn't mean one is agreeable. However when a girl who has interest over a man, silence means agreed. No woman would declare her love first to her man, neither would she kisses him if he doesn't make the first move. If the man has intention to kiss his new found girlfriend, he can't be asking for a kiss from her. He has to be smart to understand from her facial silence, whether she is agreeable to be kissed upon. At the same time, the man has got to be brave to shower her the confidence of romance. As he moves towards her, the silence of voice plus the closing of her eyes is a confirmation of a 'Yes'. Meaning she loves him and she is too willing to be hugged and kissed. Ah Fai.... her silence is also a 'Yes'...you should go ahead with the date.

Closing a sale is liking closing a romance. No prospect will reveal his true intention of buying a product or services. An experience salesperson observes the emotion of his prospect from his eyes and words. His silence doesn't mean is a 'No' but just that he has the pride not to say it as 'Yes'. So! Gently and softly, we have to treat him like closing a girl and encouraging her onto bed. So the next time when you got a 'No' on any occassion, think first before you accept it as 'No'. Perhaps is a 'Yes'.

Food for thought - "Silence is sometimes the best answer". — The Dalai Lama.

U can't sell when U are unhappy.

Irena called me, "Sifu! I am worried my business is bad. Most appointments are cancelled and I don't have many prospects to see. I am at lost and I don't know what to do. Can you help?"

Though Irena is a 5 years term life insurance agent, many other agents could possibly fall into such dilemma and not knowing what to do next. I only spoke to Irena on the telephone but her voice sounded unhappy from inside. The company could be offering many challenges and incentives at the tail end of the year or her agency manager is motivating and encouraging her to move, but when her heart and mind is unhappy....nothing will excite our poor Irena to work. If I could sense her voice is unhappy, I am sure those successful prospects whom she intended to approach would also be able to feel and notice. When a person is unhappy, the voice lacks confidence, the face doesn't grow with charm, the eyes are dull and the words spoken are not sweet. She might try to hide her unhappiness feeling, but without she realising, the emotion was translated to tension and stress which could be seen by others. Nobody likes to deal with an unhappy person because an unhappy person might be an unsuccessful person. Always remember this!!!

I reminded Irena this powerful quote - "A happy heart sees a beautiful world". If you are truly happy, nothing will stop you from moving. Upon checking with her on love and romance which is the most vital part of a young lady's life....she told me later...she is extremely unhappy with her present boyfriend, who is very possessive and making her lives miserably. Ahhh! That is!!! Her problem is not the market isn't good for selling but rather she is hindered by LOVE. Love has joy and it has pain as well.

Suggestion to Irena. Either she solves her matters with her boyfriend or introduce him to me, when I can enlighten both of them. Or give me sometimes, I will write a subject on..To love with trust and joy.

Food for thought - "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive." - Havelock Ellis

Love & career need determination.

Selling life insurance is like loving a person. To fall in love is easy but to maintain a love relationship is difficult. All loves and romances begin with excitement and happiness. Everyday is a joyful day when you are in love. The sight and smell of love create feeling of hope and desire. However along the journey of love, there bound to have obstacles of life. As long as there are emotion and feeling in love, misunderstanding and distrust might appear. It takes a lot of understanding and wisdom to withhold the strength of love. Unless your love is strong with passion and determination, not many loves could last a life time.

Selling life insurance at the beginning is exciting too. The company paints you a rosy picture of your dreams. You could almost get the impossible which you never had dreamed off. They offer you the fantastic holidays around the world, prestigious clubs, luxurious cars, expensive homes, unlimited income to be earned and more incentives to excite the beginners. The smell of these sensational offers would make all young agents go crazy. Nothing in this world comes easy! All success goes along with your hardwork, determination, concentration and prepared to take all hardship. The most difficult task in this business is rejection. Sometimes you need to take 20 rejection of 'NO' before you could receive one 'YES'. Meaning... is like being slapped 20 times before one pretty girl accepts your date. There might be many agents selling life insurance, not many could actually be able to stay long enough to deliver what they had promised.

So! Its like love and romance, if you are one agent who is reading my blog, do you really have the strong love, passion and determination to maintain in this tough business. Otherwise, most likely you would not last a life time like me. Selling is easy but to maintain it is definitely not easy and that goes with love as well.

William Shakespeare - Three sentences for success....a) Know more than others. b) Work more than others. c) Expect less than others.