Friday, November 13, 2009

Offer sincere compliments.

Everyone likes to be appreciated, admired and complimented. Nobody likes to be criticised, condemned and ill-spoken directly. Especially those who are involved in marketing and selling should know.

Few days ago, i met one of my girlfriends buddy who is engaging in health food products. The minute she came over to our table, I greeted her politely with these few words, "Have not seen you for quite awhile, you look charming and sexy. With your beauty and fairness, all men would fall for you." She did not know how to appreciate my admiration but instead she replied, "I am not pretty lah! Your girlfriend here is more sexier." I shook my head!!! She should have said 'Thank You' rather than comparing with her friend.

Now her turn to speak, "Have not seen you for a few months, you have gone thinner. You look older this time with the grey hair shown by the side." I was holding my breath and was wondering whether she was telling the truth. In fact this morning over at my gym when i was doing my work out, i had weighted myself and realised i have put on some kgs in fact.

The next half an hour wasn't a pleasant conversation with her. She argued and criticised all the time. Came the home turn, when i think she finally wanted to introduce her health products, she tried by adopting a frightening approach on me. She looked straight on my face and said, "You have an unhealthy facial line below your ear. You look very haggard." That really blew me up! I stood up and said, "I really don't understand what your intention is but i don't intend to talk with you anymore. You had been condemning me since the beginning."

She had lost a potential client and a friend. According to her girlfriend, this is the way she had been marketing herself. I wonder how she could survive in this competitive world without the sweetness of words to offer.

Food for thought - "There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment" ~ Robert Brault


DengDeng said...


Some girls do not know how to appreciate men's admiration due to they lack of wisdom, self-confidence and self-esteem. This is the most 'ugly' woman/girl from my point of view.

Many people like to compare themselves with others. I like the teaching of OSHO on the comparison.

Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then you are, you are simply there. A small bush or a big high tree--it doesn't matter; you are yourself. You are needed. A grass leaf is needed as much as the biggest star. Without the grass leaf God will be less than he is. This sound of the cuckoo is needed as much as any Buddha; the world will be less, will be less rich if this cuckoo disappears. Just look around. All is needed, and everything fits together. It is an organic unity: nobody is higher and nobody is lower, nobody superior, nobody inferior. Everybody is incomparably unique.
Osho The Sun Rises in the Evening Chapter 4

Who ever told you that the bamboo is more beautiful than the oak, or the oak more valuable than the bamboo? Do you think the oak wishes it had a hollow trunk like this bamboo? Does the bamboo feel jealous of the oak because it is bigger and its leaves change color in the fall? The very idea of the two trees comparing themselves to each other seems ridiculous, but we humans seem to find this habit very hard to break. Let's face it, there is always going to be somebody who is more beautiful, more talented, stronger, more intelligent, or apparently happier than you are. And conversely, there will always be those who are less than you in all these ways. The way to find out who you are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling your own potential in the best way you know how.


Robert Foo said...

Hi Deng Deng...

Thank you so much with such meaningful wisdom written here. Can you allow me to post it for those who might miss your comment?

DengDeng said...

sure... no problem...~~ ;)

good things must sharing.... ;)