Divine humor

Forgiveness.

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject.

After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies.

About half held up their hands.

Not satisfied, he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question... This time he received a response of eighty percent.

Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen minutes and repeated his question.

With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one old gentleman in the rear.

Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Eighty-six."

Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to be 86 and not have an enemy in the world.

The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around.

"It's easy. I outlived all of them...."

How punctual are you?

Talking about punctuality, are you a punctual person! Well! How late is considered as late for an appointment made? To some, one minute is already considered as late, whereas five, ten or half an hour might not be late for you, as long as you arrive for the appointment. Right?

Not me! I am very particular in timing. I try to be earlier in all my meetings and dates. If i am late even for one second, i feel so guilty for the late arrival. No words or explanation could forgive the late coming coz it reflects on my commitment towards meeting those friends.

A punctual person has right attitude, and those who have right attitude are responsible people. I can't imagine those who are late but call to tell they are few minutes away and to arrive only one to two hours later. Upon reaching they are the least be bothered how others feel toward them, and at the same time they are not shameful and guilty of being late either. To them is, as long as we came, being late isn't the issue anymore. Be careful with such people because they are the most irresponsible human being on earth.

For the lovers... if the man is late, throw him away but if the lady is late, she is only trying to test the man's patience. Thanks God! I was never late on all my love dates.

Food for thought - "I could never think well of a man's intellectual or moral character, if he was habitually unfaithful to his appointments" ~ Nathaniel Emmons

I haven't found my soulmate yet!

Su is a very attractive lady who works as a special PA for one of my wealthy client in town. Over her desk she asked me, why she could not get an ideal man to get marry.

Su is still single, in her early thirties, sexy and a fun person. Though she is craving for love, that special soulmate hasn't appeared in sight yet. This was what i told the lonely friend there. She is too intelligence for most men her age. In measuring intelligence, lets assume a score of maximum of ten points, i have to rate this lady with a 7 points scoring. No joke! She speaks well, in many different languages, creative, smart, independence, high earner, full of enthusiasm and very focus in life.

I suggested two proposals for her. One to get a much younger man, with lesser IQ than her, say a score of 3.5 points. Having a lower esteemed man, would allow her to dictate and control her partner. As long as this man is around, she should feel secure in some way, with love and romance lead by her. Or to get a much older man who could easily be reaching 50 and above, and most likely be married as well. An older man who has the intelligence score of 9.9 points would definitely inspire her with wisdom of life. She won't be bored by a man of intelligence and wisdom. Otherwise if she continues seeking men of her age, no man would be capable to outwit her. This is the main reason why the past 10 years, Su still hasn't found her ideal love.

Before i left her office, i gave her another last option. If she failed the two proposals laid, please consider me as the last candidate in line for her to pick. She returned a big "YES!" to me.

Have you found your soulmate? - “Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person.” - Richard Bach quotes

Something seems a bit "off"

So sad...
There was a little quarrel between two love partners. They refused to give way to each other and were at loggerhead on confrontation. One demanded for a reason, while the other was angry but refused to explain the anger and frustration.

He called her many times but she didn't pick those calls. After awhile, he felt lonely and got sick. He had to borrow someone's else shoulder.

So when life gets you down, this can happen...

Angry and upset over at her place. Pride deters her to speak with her love either. She spoke to herself, when i had a chance to meet him again, i would squeeze and sit over him like the cat above.

Are you into some kind of weird tug of war? Yes! I am because someone close isn't talking to me and i hope that person who sees these pictures would smile again. Please don't be angry lah!

Something for all of us to learn - “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder quotes

Makes so much sense!

This is quite interesting......
(To women) Please take time to ponder.....
(To men) Just enjoy the story......

And specially posted for my little darling to read...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?'
She said, 'A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

'Which would you prefer?' She asked him. 'Beautiful during the day .... or at night?'
Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

Or,

Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this...) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT... please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below... OKAY?

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time..
Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now... what is the moral to this story?
. The moral is...
1) There is 'witch' in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is !
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly !

So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember
IT IS EITHER ' HER WAY ' OR IT IS ' NO WAY ' !!

Is true! I try to allow little darling 'HER WAY' or I would get 'NO WAY' from her too. Right?

Learn from our selling mistakes.

Selling Tips..

The Great Otto von Bismarck said "Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others."

Is true! To be successful in selling, one has to learn, especially at the beginning stage. Attend seminars and trainings, follow your manager's advices, mentor a great master, track your seniors, read as much as possible (Try this blog) and listen to your buddies.

Yes! Learning from others is effective but i considered it is only 10% contribution to our 100% success in selling. The 90% is still from ourselves! There is another saying from John Bradshaw, "It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers -- they help us to learn."

In making mistakes through of ourselves, we have to face rejections to be patience, we have to be confronted with hardship to understand tolerance, we have to gain pain to know what is caring and love, we have to be cheated to be more tactful and honest, we won't appreciate trust unless we are willing to be sincere, and we could be strong and have creditability only when we know our mistakes.

Many have failed in selling, especially selling life insurance because they wanted an easy way to excel in this challenging career by spoon feeding. Unless one is prepared to rough it out by making mistakes and learning from them, you might not be able stay too long in this business. It's only those who could still smile while suffering through making mistakes, would succeed in selling.

I am always inspired by Indira Gandhi: Motivational Selling Quotes "There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there."

Camel Joke

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.

During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

"Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... m-m-m.... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir."

The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

Note: Words which have double meanings... can be misinterpreted. Listen isn't enough but listen to understand.

Self Appraisal

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?"
Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free."
Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy : "No thanks,
Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.
Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is called "Self Appraisal"

The difference between dream and aim,

Dream requires Soundless sleep to see

Whereas Aim Requires Sleepless Efforts to Achieve..........

A late starter on sex.

If you think sex starts only when you are young, read this true story which might amuse and surprise your thinking.

Ah Kow and his wife are both in their late sixties. When they got marry forty six years ago, they were poor and could only afford a rented hut. Their room was small and the four walls were all made of soft wood. Although they had privacy inside this space, they spoke little, especially in the late night. Because their neighbour's rooms could hear the slightest whisper or movement from them. Their first night of honeymoon in this unforgettable room was quick and fast. No yelling or screaming on bed, for fear of over hearing by the outside.

We asked the elderly wife now, whether she knew what was good sex and love making. She said those days sex was merely to satisfy the husband, was the obligation and duty of a wife to give her body to her man. She did not understand what was love making, she didn't know what was orgasm, except to please the husband and be responsible to give birth to his babies.

By one year, there was a cry of baby in their home. The next ten years, the tiny room was crowded with another five children. All their children had to sleep on the wooden floor, and usually the youngest child would sleep together with the parents on the bed. Under such environment and condition, we could imagine making enjoyable sex was definitely not possible. Their satisfaction was short and quick. Please don't laugh! Is true my readers.

Time passed rapidly. By the time Ah Kow and wife arrived into their mid fifties, all their children had grown to be adult. Their elder son was doing well and shifted both their old folks to stay with them in their brick house in the city. At this stage of life, his wife had reached her menopause age when she thought "sex and love making" wasn't necessary anymore. She no longer served and obliged the man, and the man thought she was not interested in him either. Funny isn't it! Perhaps there was no proper communication in love & romance those day.

Came two years ago when something unexpected happened to this old couple. While they were sleeping one night in their classy home, the husband's hand accidentally touched the soft tender breast of the wife. Under a fantasy dream, the man fondled her blossom. The old lady had never experienced this crazy touch of her man, started to yearn and cry. He heard the "Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhhhh!!!" from the woman besides. He too got excited hearing the wild cries of sex. This is when they started to understand and practise effective sex and love play after marrying to each other for forty over years. This is when their real sex life begins. Mind you at late sixties!

Moral of the story: There is no age barrier on sex, as long as you understand life.

Something you might not know - "Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace" ~ Marianne Williamson, "A Woman's Worth"

You are important to me.

I was preparing to meet Andrew for a lunch, when he called to inform that he could not make it again. This is the second time within the same week that he failed to meet up with me. His excuse wasn't acceptable because he wanted to meet another prospective client who urgently needed to see him. I was upset and angry. Raising slightly my voice, i offered this Friday as a last alternative date. Otherwise i won't be seeing him for lunch in future.

Andrew is only in his mid thirties. By profession he is a contractor who rented one of my premises for his business. Though he works extremely hard, i don't see him doing well in his career. He has been holding my rental for a couple of months. His biggest downfall is his weak management of time.

A successful business man controls his time well and efficient. With good attitude and ethic, punctuality is almost prefect. Not Andrew who are always late in appointments or skipping and postponing meetings as promised. He might not even aware that each appointment he postponed, he made his clients or friends unimportant.

Lets look at my last two lunches with him. He wanted to see his new business prospects first, opting to cancel my appointments which were fixed earlier. Without him realising, i felt unwanted and not important to him. Luckily i am not his client, otherwise i might not want to deal business with him further. He had distrusted his creditability and integrity.

If he could come and meet me this Friday i will speak my mind for him. A successful person always attempt to make everyone important, no matter who the acquaintances are. If one could master the skill to let someone in front of you feel important, he or she would be the most likable and lovable person to everyone. I hope i am. Ha Ha Ha!!!

Food for thought - "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" ~ Author Unknown

Offer compliment smartly.

I have an elderly auntie whom nobody likes to befriend. Only one child out of four is staying with her and this son also seldom speaks with his mum. Reason, the minute she opens her mouth, all her words smell and are insulting.

One incident happened recently. She met my sister in law's boyfriend whom she hadn't seen for quite sometime. Upon seeing this gentleman, she said,"Mr Ho, long time haven't seen you, you look older now. Your head is almost bald and your hair is grey. You look very old la!"

Mr Ho was very upset and irritated by her rude remark, but couldn't scold this relative. Perhaps she thought her concern was a compliment to this friend, without realising she was hurting and insulting the belittle man.

Yes! It could happen to all of us too. When we are being introduced to new friends, we normally look at the strong points of those acquaintances. We tend to say good things and admiration, and avoid the defects. But the funny part of life is, as we gradually get to know those new friends, we overlook their good qualities and we see more of their weaknesses. We catch and locate their mistakes more often than highlight their strength.

This occurred to me as well. Many years ago when little darling had not fallen with me yet, she was only a casual friend then. Those days when we met, she offered sweet and nice words to me all the time. She spotted all my qualities from head to toe, giving those wonderful admiration and compliments which melted my heart. Nobody is prefect and i had my defects too but they were completely blind to her. Today little darling has forgotten to look at my strong edge, rather she is damn good to spot every single error i make whenever we are together. Even a tiny hole on my shirt could never miss her two eyes.

My caring advices to my little darling; please tune down my mistakes and preferable tell me indirectly my wrongs, as to correct my shortfalls. You could inspire and motivate me greater by relating more of my strength and qualities. The fact is, everybody likes to hear compliments and appreciations more than anything else. I know she is a very intelligent lady who is smart enough to understand this title.

A likable person knows - “Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone” - Marleen Arab Proverb quotes

Many men suffer from premature ejaculation woes.

By SYED AZHAR newsdesk@thestar.com.my

KOTA BARU: Many men aged 19 to 60 have confessed in a Universiti Sains Malaysia survey that they ejaculate even before having sexual intercourse with their partner.

“I have a recorded case of a married couple who never had a fulfilled intercourse for four years because the husband was unable to control his excitement and would often ejaculate before penetration,” said USM Men’s Health Clinic head Assoc Prof Shaiful Bahari Ismail who did the study on premature ejaculation.

“Some men hardly last a minute after intra-vaginal activity,” he said, adding that this caused distress and sexual boredom that might lead to divorce if the wife had a high sex drive.

According to his Premature Ejaculation Perception and Attitude study, about 29% of Malaysians aged between 19 and 60 suffer from some sort of premature ejaculation.

The percentage could be higher, considering many are unable to practise healthy and regular intercourse and also because they lead very stressful lives, he said in an interview here.

A World Health Organisation report said early ejaculation was the most common of all sexual difficulties among men and it was estimated that between 25% and 33% of men ejaculated “before they want to”.

Shaiful said that based on his studies, women who experienced problems of sexual fulfilment were more open to talk about the issue when interviewed without the presence of their husband or partner.

“This is in contrast to men who would rather be in a denial mode even in one-to-one interviews.
“When this denial is allowed to fester, it would lead to other problems like unnecessary stress.

“This could lead to psychological problems and, if not controlled, would eventually affect their manhood and self-esteem,” added Shaiful.

He said that premature ejaculation was becoming a threat to Malaysians and might be one of the causes of the increasing divorce rate.

He said Malaysian men felt that it was taboo to speak about the condition and preferred to “sweep the problem under the carpet”.

He added that married women also preferred to be silent because it could affect their husbands’ self-esteem.

Shaiful, a family medicine specialist, said there was no cure for premature ejaculation because it was “all in the mind”.

P/S. Not true, premature ejeculation could be solved. Can be treated by traditional penis massage, plus plenty of physical exercise on cardio and strength training.

Food for thought - "A man needs the sexual conquest to prove that he can still do it, that he can still get it up. It's like having a duel with himself. He has to prove it all the time. We don't have to prove it" - Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia

1910 FORD MODEL R.

THE YEAR IS 1910
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
************ ********* ***********
The year is 1910 One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:
************ ********* ************
The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower !
The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.
The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year ..
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
The Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis3. Diarrhea4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars ....
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada , was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school..
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,
Regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'
(Shocking? DUH! )
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help ....
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. ! (reported)

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself. From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!

You could read on my blog without searching these facts by yourself!
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND

New Bed for Men:

Can you sleep well every night? Not me! I have to toss and turn many many times to be able to reach the dreamworld. A beautiful associate recently sent me this new bed and i wish it could be true. According to her, somebody has finally made an orthopedic bed just for MEN.

Can be ordered in three firmness levels... "saline, silicone or natural"
in sizes C - DDDD ............ Anyone wanting less than a C should just sleep on the floor.

Available only at 'Butts, Boobs & Beyond'

Any buyers out there?

I am sure you like this too - "The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late" ~ Charles Caleb Colton

The Tailor and His Scissors.

A tailor was at work. He took a piece of cloth and with a pair of shining, costly, scissors, he cut the cloth into various bits.

Then he put the pair of scissors at his feet. Then he took a small needle and thread and started to sew the bits of cloth, into a fine shirt. When the spell of sewing was over, he stuck the needle on to his turban.

The tailor's son who was watching it asked him: "Father, the scissors are costly and look so beautiful. But you throw them down at your feet. This needle is worth almost nothing; you can get a dozen for an Anna. Yet, you place it carefully on your head itself. Is there any reason for this illogical behaviour?"

"Yes, my son. The scissors have their function, no doubt; but they only cut the cloth into bits. The needle, on the contrary, unites the bits and enhances the value of the cloth. Therefore, the needle to me is more precious and valuable. The value of a thing depends on its utility, son, not on its cost-price or appearance."

Similarly, there are two classes of people in the world-those who create dissensions and disharmony, who separate man from man; and those who bring about peace and harmony, who unite people.

The former are generally the rich people, powerful politicians and kings; the latter are Generally the poor devotees of God, the penniless wandering monks, and mendicants. The Lord makes use of both to carry on his function of providing the field for the evolution of individual souls.

He throws down on the dust the mighty kings and millionaires who create wars and disharmony; and He keeps the poor, pious devotee over His own head. In His eyes the scale of values is entirely different.

Food for thought - "Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little" - Buddha

Medicare in action.

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Do i know you?

As i was walking with a friend in a shopping mall, i happened to be greeted by many friends who were also making their rounds there. This friend was amazed with my popularity, he said "A lot of people know you!"

My question to my readers; What's the different between "A lot of people know you" over "You know a lot of people?" Sounds alike isn't it! Please take a bit of time to ponder over this question and you might notice the different.

I think when you know a lot of people, you need plenty of hard work and patience to build those friendship. With endless effort and sincerity rendered, these friends would know you forever. However there are some well known celebrities who are famous because of their profession, might be just lonely and frustrating people. The whole world knows who they are, but they do not have many closed friends whom they could trust.

Yes! A lot of people know me because i took much of a trouble to know them as well. On my blog i am writing to share what is inside my mind and hopefully i could reach those who would like to know me too. If you feel i do deserve to be your humble friend, please kindly write your name so that i could also remember you too. The two ways of knowing each other is better than one way. If you happen to be a lady, let me be your dear to understand you more and if you are a man, let's be brothers to support each other.

Conclusion: knowing me isn't enough, let me know you too please.

Food for thought - "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart" - Eleanor Roosevelt quotes

Women are Special..!!!

To all the guys who read this.....please read fully and understand..............
To all the girls who read this............ An excellent forward......please read fully..... and forward to the boys you know..........

This is a beautiful article:
The woman in your life...very well expressed...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family, name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

My philosphy of life starts from vapour.

Life is just like the creation of vapour in gas phase from the open sky. As it settle down, i lay as to form myself as the morning's dew sitting gently on the tree leaves on top of the mountain forest. The constant blow of wind, pushes me down to the tiny stream below where i meet more of my types, the misty dew of early lives. As i start to learn to swim along this icing cold stream, i ponder where my destiny might end.

From this small stream, i am channelled into a river which flows faster and stronger. Some of us are diverted to side distribution, the canals and lakes which serve different purposes of life. I am delighted myself because i could see so much as i gather my force as i drift along the bigger river. By the distance i pound over the rapid river, i reach the delta where the water is a little salty now. At the delta of the river mouth, i give the opportunities for people by the hundreds to live and survive. There are farmers and fishermen who make a living in this rich area of the delta. The little vapour gas of me, has developed into a larger dimension to serve the surrounding here.

Not just happy and contented over at The Delta, i push myself further to reach the open sea where i have to face the waves and the oceans. Some of them ask, why do i need to go out to the unknown towards the sea. Yes! I am courageous to go, is because out there in the sea is where i control the Seven Oceans of the world. This is where the power and greatness of earth mass is. 90% of our planet is water and without these Seven Oceans life on earth won't exist.

Reaching out into the open sea, and by the natural process, i am once again evaporated into the atmosphere. In theory; Water is transferred from the surface to the atmosphere through evaporation, the process by which water changes from a liquid to a gas. As likewise from a gas i could repeat my life cycle again to serve the world.

Food for thought - "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore" - Philosophy of Life by Andre Gide

True Love

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said,

'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,

'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have."

I hope you share this with someone you care about.
'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'

My son-in law and vibrator.

AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.

SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: 'WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?' THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: 'MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.'

THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR. TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING.

THE DAUGHTER SAID: 'DAD I'M THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.'

A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM. SHE ENTERED THAT AREA AND OBSERVED HER HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH, DOWNING A COLD BEER, AND STARING AT THE TV. THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY.

THE WIFE ASKED: 'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?'

THE HUSBAND REPLIED: 'I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH MY SON-IN-LAW.

Note: If you are only intelligent, you might not understand the above story. But if you are laughing now and could understand the joke instantly, i am sure you are the naughty one like me. All birds of the same feather flock together.

All desirable things in life.

One my my reader Renuka wrote on my comment two days ago. She said, "Hi Robert, i received a quote from my friend saying 'All desirable things in life are either illegal, fattening, banned, expensive..or married to someone else'. If you have any experience on this, can you write a blog on this?"

Hi my dear, sound interesting your question! I believe all of us one way or another have had experienced all these desirable things before. We ought to blame on Eve for eating the forbidden apple in the first place. If she had killed the snake instead and not eating the juicy apple, all of us might still be living in the Garden of Paradise where no illegal things could have existed. Then you need not have doubts over this question. Right?

On the other hand, as a man myself i have to partially blame Adam as well. He was given everything and yet he was lonesome. The instinct of the first man on earth had the feeling for another soul. In order to please and satisfy this creation, Eve was allowed to be his companion. And that was when all things broke loose, Adam & Eve had to fend for themselves in this place we called as our world.

As far as i am concerned, our world has to live by the two effects of "the good & the bad". The good could not survive without the existence of the bad or vice verse. Meaning, if there is no death, we would not have appreciated good life. If there is no sickness, you would not know what is good health. When nobody get sick, the doctors as playing the good role of life, would not have survived in their medical practices. The thieves play the role of the bad and the polices act the role of good. The smugglers are considered as the bad guys but they need the good guys of the lawyers to save their skin when they are caught. I can continue to relate more of the bad and the good roles of life but whether you like it or not, life has to go on and on. Without these effect of the two forces, the world would not move and life might be at a standstill.

The good and bad forces of life would forever be here but we have the choices to pick the roles. Or you have the choices to select the desirable things you like. When i was younger, i ate all the fatty or junk food but today i have to be selective in eating. A brand new BMW is attractive but i prefer a simple Honda which is much cheaper. I can pick an illegal Chinese sexy Doll to make love but i rather be faithful to my little darling. Life has got choices. Just that, are you wise enough to accept the good or the bad of life. Renuka, please tell me if i am wrong. Okay?

Wisdom man cannot be rich.

Mazuki has been my client since twenty years ago. He is still in his forties but has been getting wiser and clever by the years. I was glad he brought up this statement, "Man with Wisdom cannot be rich."

I had to agree with him totally, a man who has wisdom cannot be rich, but i added on, neither is he going to be poor. A wisdom person is one who always thinks of others first. He gives more than he receives. He is not selfish, not cunning, not sneaky and not shrew. But rather a person with a rich heart to share. I have not seen a wisdom man of the past who was rich and famous. The poorest man on earth are those who have spiritual wisdom. The monk and priest have nothing in possession.

On the hand, to be super rich, one needs to acquire the opposite characters of wisdom. The rich is intelligence with knowledge, smart to gain power and fame but lack the purity of wisdom. A rich and famous person when in sorrow or sadness, sometimes needs the enlightenment and guidance from a wisdom monk or priest. The few words of spiritual wisdom could release the pain of the rich. The rich might have the millions but he cannot understand the simplicity of life. The man who has wisdom might not have the wealth but he has the blessings and wishes from the entire world who knows him.

Now i know why i am not rich but thanks God i am not poor either. My Master said "What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others" - Confucius - Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC)

Saying i am a single mum causes big problem!

Rinnie is an attractive lady who owes a tutorial centre. She is facing some financial problems and might be closing her once well known educational centre. Students intake is dropping and the various classes income doesn't support the maintenance of this school. As she is my important client, i gave her my ears to listen to all her sorrow lately.

Using our tag line from Prudential, "Always Listening and Always Understanding", i could excess the actual problems hidden. Rinnie is a single mother with a young daughter of seven. Though she is 32 years old, she looks younger than her age because she is sexy and attractive. A self-made person, single handily she managed to build the school herself without support.

The problems started when she introduced herself as a single mother whenever her daughter was around her. She was truthful to reveal her real marital status as a divorcee with a child to support. She thought by not lying, it might be good for her. By presenting herself to be a single mother, she assumed it would attract sympathies and respect. Yes! Respect was there because she is a teacher. However the words of "single mum" attracted unnecessary attention and exposure. All males, between the age of 24 to 40 were all out to tackle and court this beautiful lady who isn't prepared to fall in love yet. During the last two years, there were countless gentlemen, some even younger than her were attempting to win the heart of Rinnie. Without she realising, those men wasted much of her pleasurable time and created a lot of misunderstanding and fuss along the way. To add salt over her wound, she told the unexpected problems to all she met within the school. The innocent young principle didn't know that no parent would like their children to be taught by a problematic teacher. Through words of mouth, the classes were getting lesser, simply because the parents were losing their respect and confidence on her. That's when the school tutorial income fell.

A friendly advice to my important friend. Never introduce yourself as a single mother when you don't intend to attract another Male's approaches. Single mother to man is.. she is available because the man had left her. I suggested to Rinnie, she should tell a bit of white lies. No harm to say, "i am married and my husband is still around." A married woman is seldom being approached intentional by another single man. The status of her being still married, should shut the thought of most dirty minded men. Next! Rinnie should not reveal her personal problems openly to everyone. Nobody likes to deal with an unsuccessful person, especially when you are a professional. I hope these suggestions could assist and correct the path way for her.

Food for thought - “Successful people aren't born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don't like to do. The successful people don't always like these things themselves; they just get on and do them.”

Young in heart & physical.

Something i learned from another wisdom friend today. He said there are three types of man as they grow a bit older in life. Read on to find out.

Most men would age with an old thought and a weakly heart. When they reach this stage of life, they lack personal drive, slow in action and defenceless. Most of the time, they might gang up with the same group, talking grand mother stories and have no new friends around. Gradually one after another they disappear from this world, leaving few to talk to themselves alone. Warning; to mix with them, you have to be tactful, patience and caring.

The second type is different. They claim to have a young heart, when they feel young and active. They dress with colour, speak boldly, mix freely and like to interact with younger people. Though they look cheerful to most outsiders, they are the most frustrated type of man in thinking. Because they have a young heart but an old body with an unusable little brother downwards. Heart has all the urge and desire to fall in love with women, but not capable to perform his manhood physically. This is the worst feeling and emotion for all men. Warning here; don't talk sex with them.

The third range is the rare species. Their heart is young as ever, words are sweet and full of enthusiasm in living. At the same time, the little brother is equally naughty, and full of vitality and strength. Usually when little brother has the power, the upper mind is always intelligence, smart and witty. They look younger than their actual biological age, simply because they have a happy heart full of love.

In order to be in the third range group, one has to live a balanced life in his early years. Be contented to oneself, be kind, be truthful, be sincere and be fair to the world he lives in. I am glad and lucky to be blessed to fall into this range at this stage of my life. My heart and little brother are both equally young in nature. Don't believe, see me in person please.

Food for thought - "The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity" ~ Mark Twain

Secret KL Survey 2010

Secret KL Survey 2010 is extracted from our local magazine, Time Out Kuala Lumpur.

Some of the interesting facts gathered from 41% male respondents and 59% is female online survey done. Please read on for some fun knowledge.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Most of them lost it between the ages of 17 and 19 while those of them who lost it in their twenties mainly took the plunge in the 21 - 23 age range.

Hey! Not bad for me, i broke mine when i was 16, and that was 47 years ago. Perhaps mine was the record.

How often do you have sex?
On average, a lot are getting it on a regular basis: 2 - 3 times a week.

That's not good 'man'! I had slowed down a lot but today i am still at 2 - 3 time a week. What happened to you KL-ities.

How often would you like to have sex?
This is where it gets interesting. The unanimous answer is Daily. Some of them even have the stamina to have it more often. They all have sex on the brains, which doesn't surprise us.

Wow! Me too! I think of sex almost everyday. No sex, no fun in life.

How many lovers have you had?

A vast majority of you have had partners that number in the single digits ranging from 5 to 9. A smattering of KL-ities have partners in the double digits range from 20 - 30 with a handful reaching the triple digits.

My view - Mistakes are our teachers, Including love mistakes. More lovers one had, he/ her makes a better lover later.

Monogamy is...
38% of them said it's a fact of life and similarly 39% agree that it enhances our lives. On the hand, 14% reiterate that it's a relic of a bygone era and 9% practise it on a Sunday only. Monogamy, on the whole, seems quite popular.

Sorry not me. I love Little darling and will not involve in Monogamy. Can't afford to hurt her because she has a glass heart only.

How soon after meeting someone is it acceptable to have sex?
A vast 49% said it's all right after three dates with 28% willing to escalate to the bedroom after the first day. Only 9% will take the plunge in the first five minutes and a conservative 14% will only consider it after marriage.

Fantastic! Five minutes to plunge into sex when i could not even close my sales selling life insurance in five minutes. These youngsters make good salesperson later in life i guess.

Well readers! There are more interesting questions asked and if you intend to read all of them, please buy this magazine lah.

Are u a hot-temper person?

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

Do you know the definition of anger? Anger is an emotion. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. [1]Some view anger as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of harm.[2] Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force.[3] The English term originally comes from the term anger of Old Norse language.[4] Anger can have many physical and mental consequences.

In life, we can get angry quite easily, especially the hot-tempered one. BUT the funny part of life is, we can never get angry after making love and having a good contented sex's play with a willing partner whom we love.

If you don't believe me, try to be angry tonite when you are making love with your partner. I am sure immediately after that interesting session, both would turn to be soft little kittens. Even if you are being slapped on the face, you might not even feel the pain and be angry over it. In case you are the dumb type, i suggest you should try to see whether i am telling the facts. To the hot-tempered one, my advice is to make more love which would control and change your behaviour. The Yin & Yang is balanced because you manage the sex life well. A good sex life is a happy life.

Do you know - “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes

Darling, Can I have a Tattoo ?

My girlfriend told me, Darling, I would like to have a tattoo.

I told her No, it will stain your blemish-free body... so you are not having one.

She asked me, Why not ? All my girlfriends have a tattoo !

I told her, It would spoil your beautiful body !

She pleaded with me, Darling, please, please, just a fish on the belly ?

And after many hours of discussion I gave in and decided to let her do.

She was after all, a feisty woman with her own freedom of choice ...

and I thought ...
a small fish ...
around the belly ...
is probably not so bad !

Look what she came home with....

Humor our clients.

A simple selling tip to share...

This could happen to any salesperson who is on the run. I am supposed to meet one of my client tomorrow. While thinking of him today, he sent me this text message, "Morning Robert. I will need to postpone our meeting for next 1 to 2 week. We have visitors and year end account closing. We can contact each other in 2 weeks time. Sorry!"

Well! What would you do? Would you be angry, rejected, feel bad or no feeling at all. Should you reply him in the first place? I think we must reply our client. Next! How do you reply him?. From my experience, most sales people would just say, Okay! or Stay in touch please! or I will call you again!

Let me show you how i replied this client. "Young man don't feel bad. The more busy you are, the happier i'm for you. Because, when you become rich, i will be able to sell you a Million Dollar Policy. Deal?"

Do you want to know whether he responded. Yes! I laughed while reading his final message to me. "Thanks Robert. You are always positive, great. One Million Policy in future; why not.. :)"

The next time when i see this client, i might have a chance to mention this million proposal. I had fun while making contact with all my clients by being creative in my selling approaches. Please try and it might work for you.

Bill Cosby said "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."

Advantages of living after 50!

This article was forwarded to me by a young man called Timothy. Someone had to remind him, so he is reminding me too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...he said. BUT i think Timothy had forgotten, things have changed. What he received was the old version of thought. Read the following and see the different. His is in black and mine is in red.

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
It depends! Female kidnappers are still very much interested in me.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
Most likely they are afraid, their ladies might be attracted to me.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
Hey Not true! I run all corners of the city everyday.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
Ayah! At 9 pm i am still painting the town red. At midnight i only write my blog.

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Yes! Is because they see me as a very knowledgeable man.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
In selling life insurance, we still have to learn. I need to score 30 learning points a year, in order to renew my yearly license with Bank Negara.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
My little darling keeps changing my clothing to the latest fashion all the time.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
At 4pm is my tea time with all my dears in town.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
Life would have no meaning without sex for me. I have 2 to 3 sessions per week. What about you?

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
I don't need pension plans because my career as a life insurance agent is a very highly paid profession till my last breath on Planet Earth. Only to those who is committed like RF.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Come and sit in my car and you would scare out of your bottom. How i wish our speed limit could reach 180!!!

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
Unless that is a beautiful sexy lady.

13. You sing along with elevator music.
Not only sing but i dance along with the tune too.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
How i wish i don't have to go too often to see my optician yearly.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
I only see friends in the hospital. Thanks God! No friend has ever seen me admitted to hospital before.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
I still have not acquired this ability yet coz i am a slow learner in this subject.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
I avoid seeing those old folks who have little drive and i interact more with young, intelligence and aggression friends only. Like Timothy.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
Unless you don't think and talk. My hobby is talking and my greatest interest is blogging.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
The one who is sending me this list is my most admirable friend, Timothy Loh.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Big and small are no different to me. As long as the sharing is sincere and thoughtful.

Specially for Timothy - "Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought" — Basho

Do u squeeze your toothpaste until the end?

This morning i was squeezing my toothpaste to the last drop, and i felt rejoice knowing well that i had made the best use of it. Would you do it like me?

I asked a few friends how they treat and use their toothpaste at home. Do you maximise the tube until the last part of it or change a new one as soon as the tube is near finishing? I am amazed each and everyone of us behave differently.

To think about myself whether i am the stingy one who can't afford to buy a good brand of toothpaste or whether i am a thrifty person is something to ponder about.

Those friends who are like my type who squeeze every drop of paste to the end, have these following similar characters and background.
1. We like to save & dislike wastage.
2. Is exciting to maximise the usage.
3. Is challenging to know we could do it.
4. We are more responsible.
5. We know what is hardship.
6. Our parents were not rich.
7. Smarter and more witty.

One of the lady who went back to ask her two daughters why they like squeezing all their toothpaste from the tubes, was surprised with this answer. Both daughters claimed they don't like squeezing those tubes but rather they were afraid that mother would scold them if they don't follow her instruction to save the usage.

My sister in law is a very simple woman who would discard the tube once it comes to the near end. She said why put so much trouble to squeeze and squeeze when you could have a new tube again.

I have three sons, only one follow my footstep and i am curious why the other two are not like me. Yes! They have different character for sure.

So! The next time when you use a friend's bathroom, look at his or her toothpaste and you might be able to guess their character too. What about yourself?

I am sure you know - “Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in!” - H. R. Haldeman quotes