Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Offer compliment smartly.

I have an elderly auntie whom nobody likes to befriend. Only one child out of four is staying with her and this son also seldom speaks with his mum. Reason, the minute she opens her mouth, all her words smell and are insulting.

One incident happened recently. She met my sister in law's boyfriend whom she hadn't seen for quite sometime. Upon seeing this gentleman, she said,"Mr Ho, long time haven't seen you, you look older now. Your head is almost bald and your hair is grey. You look very old la!"

Mr Ho was very upset and irritated by her rude remark, but couldn't scold this relative. Perhaps she thought her concern was a compliment to this friend, without realising she was hurting and insulting the belittle man.

Yes! It could happen to all of us too. When we are being introduced to new friends, we normally look at the strong points of those acquaintances. We tend to say good things and admiration, and avoid the defects. But the funny part of life is, as we gradually get to know those new friends, we overlook their good qualities and we see more of their weaknesses. We catch and locate their mistakes more often than highlight their strength.

This occurred to me as well. Many years ago when little darling had not fallen with me yet, she was only a casual friend then. Those days when we met, she offered sweet and nice words to me all the time. She spotted all my qualities from head to toe, giving those wonderful admiration and compliments which melted my heart. Nobody is prefect and i had my defects too but they were completely blind to her. Today little darling has forgotten to look at my strong edge, rather she is damn good to spot every single error i make whenever we are together. Even a tiny hole on my shirt could never miss her two eyes.

My caring advices to my little darling; please tune down my mistakes and preferable tell me indirectly my wrongs, as to correct my shortfalls. You could inspire and motivate me greater by relating more of my strength and qualities. The fact is, everybody likes to hear compliments and appreciations more than anything else. I know she is a very intelligent lady who is smart enough to understand this title.

A likable person knows - “Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone” - Marleen Arab Proverb quotes

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