Saturday, October 11, 2008

Learning more about sex.

My recent title..."When is the right age for sex?" drew a lot of attention. It was my highest hit score ever since I started blogging. Looks like readers love the subject SEX more than anything else. I had a handful of comments which added more interesting information. They were unbelievable facts and could be useful to society. Perhaps many could have missed reading them.

For instead, one wise reader said..."There is no correct age at which you are “supposed” to have sex. Everyone has to make a very personal decision about what is right for them. How does one decide when the time is right to have sex for the first time? Asking yourself the following questions is a good start and might help you determine how you really feel without the pressure from friends or that “special person”:

1. Do you have any moral, religious or cultural convictions that might make deciding to have sex the wrong decision for you? Maybe you want to wait until you are married?

2. How do you feel about the relationship with your partner that you are in at the moment?

3. What do you think might happen as a result of having sex? Do you really understand the potential consequences? The physical and emotional consequences?

4. How do you think you will feel about your partner and more importantly, about yourself?

5. What do you know about STDs and birth control?

6. What are each of you willing to do to prevent these situations?

7. Right now -- how do you feel about your partner? Do you trust, respect and love him or her? Are those feelings mutual?

8. Do you feel pressured to have sex? Is there pressure from your partner, friends or any other reason?

9. Do you feel that you and your partner can make a decision right now and does it feel comfortable to you?

10. Can you talk openly to your partner about your decision?

Another reader who wrote a short but yet powerful statement..."SEX, oh Sex... u are beautiful but painful". I think he/she is right.

If you read on their comments dated Tuesday o7 Oct, you would learn more about the facts of life. Indeed I am glad to those who had shared and contributed their knowledge and experiences on my blog. Thank you so much to these beautiful people who were not shy to talk about sex.

Is this a joke - "The Englishman can get along with sex quite perfectly so long as he can pretend that it isn't sex but something else." - James Agate


Anonymous said...

Sex can be painful or difficult the first time, as the entrance to the vagina is covered by a delicate membrane, called the hymen. The hymen may break the first time you make love, but sometimes it doesn't 'give' straight away and it may take a few tries to achieve success. Breaking of the hymen sometimes causes a momentary sharp pain and a little bleeding which is usually mild.

Penetration during sex can also be difficult because of spasm of the vaginal muscles. This usually occurs when you are nervous or afraid - either because you are not quite ready to make love, or because of worries about pain or pregnancy. If you are having reservations about having sex, listen to what your subconscious is telling you as you may not be ready for it yet.

Sex doesn't always go smoothly. Pain during sex is quite common and affects both men and women. It can be caused by a variety of things, such as an illness, infection, or a physical or psychological problem. Often the problem is easily treatable, but many people feel too embarrassed to go to their doctor for help.

Sex should be an enjoyable experience, and if it hurts, your body may be trying to tell you something is wrong, so don't ignore it.

Infections such as cystitis or thrush usually cause burning pain, vaginal soreness or itchiness, and lower abdominal pain.

Pain that is felt deep inside the pelvis during sex could be caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or endometriosis (when womb lining grows outside the womb). Bowel problems like severe constipation can also cause pain.

If you're feeling tired, anxious or stressed, it can be hard to feel aroused (turned on). If you're not aroused, the vagina will feel tight and dry, making penetration difficult and painful. Foreplay is very important in this situation - spending time kissing and cuddling first will help you to relax.

Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles at the entrance to the vagina shut tightly, sometimes preventing penetration altogether, or making it very painful. It usually has an emotional cause, brought on by fears or concerns about sex, perhaps because of a negative experience in the past.

For men, infections like thrush can cause soreness and itching, and some sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes, may make sex painful. If the foreskin is very tight, penetration can be painful as the foreskin is pushed back. Sometimes there can be small tears in the foreskin that can't be seen, but cause soreness and a sharp, stinging pain around the tear.

Pain in the testicles can sometimes be caused by getting sexually aroused but not ejaculating (coming). It can also be a sign of an infection.

Sex is likely to be uncomfortable if you're not relaxed and aroused. Make time for foreplay and try not to think of sex as the main goal - penetration will be painful if the vagina's not lubricated. You can also try using a lubricating product to help things along. Always choose a water-based brand, rather than something that's oil-based, such as massage oil or moisturiser. Oil-based products can damage condoms, making them less effective.

If you're still finding it difficult to have sex, there may be an emotional reason or anxiety that's causing problems. Speaking to a counsellor or sex therapist can help to deal with underlying worries - ask your GP or sexual health (GUM) clinic about a referral.

Common infections such as thrush and cystitis can be easily treated with over-the-counter remedies. Check with your GP or sexual health (GUM) clinic if you're not sure what's causing the problem - sometimes sore and itchy symptoms can be a sign of a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Avoid using perfumed shower gels and lotions on the genitals - use a mild, unperfumed soap instead and wear cotton underwear.

Pain deep inside the pelvis can be a sign of a more serious condition, such as endometriosis - it's important to see your GP for diagnosis and treatment.

Anonymous said...

The quality of your sex life is important at every age. One problem that can be hard to talk about is painful sex. Sex should never be painful. When it is, it indicates that something is wrong. In many cases, simple things such as a lack of natural lubrication in the vagina or an awkward position can be the cause. There are many physical and emotional factors that can cause painful intercourse.

You may feel pain at the opening of your vagina or in the vulva, which is the area around the vaginal opening. Even a gentle touch in this area may cause pain. The pain can be caused by:

* infection
* irritation from soaps, spermicides, or other chemicals
* a problem called vulvar dystrophy, which is a thinning or thickening of the skin of the vulva.

Pain during sex can be caused by vaginal dryness. Possible causes of vaginal dryness are:

* a lack of natural moisture resulting from not enough foreplay
* hormonal changes such as those that happen during breast-feeding or during or after menopause
* psychological factors that affect your level of sexual arousal.

Examples of other problems that can cause pain in the vaginal or vulvar area are:

* Bartholin's gland cyst, a swelling of a gland near the opening of the vagina
* scarring of tissues from a pelvic infection, childbirth, or vaginal or pelvic surgery
* injury to the vaginal area.

Sometimes the muscles at the opening of the vagina tighten because of spasms. The muscle tightening can make the vaginal opening smaller. It may even close the opening. This condition is called vaginismus. It causes pain and the penis may not be able to enter the vagina. Psychological factors such as a fear of intercourse or fear of being hurt may cause the vaginal muscles to tighten.

You may feel pain deep inside your vagina during sexual intercourse. This can be caused by problems such as:

* movements that are too forceful
* bladder that is too full
* infection of the bladder, vagina, or pelvis
* growths in the uterus called fibroids
* ovarian cysts (fluid-filled sacs in or on an ovary)
* endometriosis, an abnormal growth of uterine tissue outside the uterus
* prolapsed (fallen) uterus, meaning the uterus has moved from its normal position down into your vagina
* tipped uterus (the uterus is tipped backward and downward)
* scarring of tissues from a pelvic infection
* injury to the vagina from childbirth, rape, or sexual abuse.

The medical term for painful intercourse is dyspareunia.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Sex Expert..

Thank you so much for your detail information on sex. I am sure many who read would gain deeper the insight of sex experience from you.

Anonymous said...

There are lots of reasons why sex may become painful - even when the problem has been sorted out it can take a long time before sex becomes enjoyable again. You definitely need help from your doctor for this symptom - it's not something you can sort out on your own.

Before you see your doctor, try to be clear in your mind whether the pain occurs:

* when your partner attempts to put his penis into your vagina (superficial pain)
* when the erect penis is fully inserted and during thrusting (deep pain)
* in the hours after sex.

Causes of pain at the entrance of the vagina during sex

After childbirth, some women experience pain when they start having sex again. It is more likely after the first baby. Sometimes it is due to an episiotomy that hasn't healed properly. The pain almost always goes away after about 3 months.

A dry vagina is one of the most common reasons

Infections, such as thrush or herpes, make the vulva (lips round the opening of the vagina) sore. Vaginal discharge causes chaffing of the skin, which makes the problem worse.

Blocked Bartholin's glands. Bartholin's glands are just inside the opening of the vagina, one on each side. They help produce lubrication for sex. If the opening of a Bartholin's gland becomes blocked, it swells up into a cyst. Bacteria may enter the cyst, turning it into a painful abscess.

Skin irritants such as perfumed soaps, bubble baths, biological (which means that they contain enzymes) washing powders, 'intimate' deodorants and spermicides can all make the vulva sore.

When sex causes pain deep inside

Pelvic inflammatory disease is an infection of the Fallopian tubes (the tubes, one each side, that carry the egg from the ovaries to the uterus). These tubes lie close to the top of the vagina, so sex causes a deep pain.

Endometriosis is a peculiar condition, in which some of the tissue that normally lines the uterus (sometimes called the womb) lies outside the uterus, in the pelvic cavity. No one knows why it occurs, though it seems to be quite common. Many women have no symptoms from it, but if the tissue is lying behind the uterus it can cause painful sex, especially on deep thrusting. A sign of endometriosis is bad period pains - especially if they last throughout the period.

Pelvic pain syndrome. For two out of every three women with deep pain during sex, no cause can be found; you may have to accept that you have pelvic pain syndrome. This syndrome is not fully understood, but it is related to stress. One possible, but not proven, explanation is that, in some women, chronic stress alters the flow of blood in the veins of the pelvis, so that the pelvis becomes congested. If you are easily aroused during sex, but have difficulty reaching orgasm, the problem becomes worse because the pelvic congestion is not relieved. You may then experience a pain that persists after sex for some hours.

Lack of arousal. Intercourse will be uncomfortable if penetration occurs before you are aroused. This is partly because of lack of lubrication, but also because with sexual arousal the upper part of the vagina balloons open. This helps to lift the womb up and away from the thrusts of the penis. If penetration occurs too early, there may be a pain or discomfort felt deep in the middle of the pelvis with each thrust.

Other causes include irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and cystitis - the bladder and bowel both lie close to the vagina.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Health Advisor...

Your sharing on this subject is most appreciated. I had learned much from you. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

“Your Englishman, confronted by something abnormal will always pretend that it isn't there. If, however, you force him to look into it, he'll at once pretend that he sees the object not for what it is but for something that he would like it to be.” - James Agate

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous...

Thank you for spending time to add further infor to this article. Sex needs to be taught and be that more pleasure and joy could be gathered out of it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know very much, but what I do know I know better than anybody, and I don't want to argue about it. I know what I think about an actor or an actress, and am not interested in what anybody else thinks. - James Agate

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous...

Hi! Hi! I am glad you like James Agate's joke. Perhaps you are right too. Any way, thank you for coming in here.

Anonymous said...

Understanding, and action proceeding from understanding and guided by it, is one weapon against the world's bombardment, the one medicine, the one instrument by which liberty, health, and joy may be shaped . . . in the individual, and in the race. - James Agate

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous...

Thank you for sharing these great words from James Agate...

tundra said...

Dyspareunia (painful sex) is a very distressing problem, which may have dire effects on a relationship. Two types of dyspareunia relating to their site are recognised.

Superficial dyspareunia is pain around the entrance to the vagina.

Superficial dyspareunia may be due to vulval problems , vestibulitis or vaginal problems such as vaginitis (vaginal infections). Another possible cause is vaginismus where there is tension or spasm of the muscles around the vaginal entrance. The spasm may be such that the couple believe that there is an obstruction requiring surgical correction. Sometimes there is deeper pain and vaginismus is a protective mechanism. More frequently there is no disease but a functional problem due to an earlier sexual encounter, fear of pregnancy or inadequate arousal.

Endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease may produce deep dyspareunia. Local inflammation within the womb (endometritis) may be due to an intrauterine contraceptive device or infection after childbirth or a miscarriage. The womb is tender to touch. Ovarian cysts and ectopic pregnancy can present with pain at intercourse. When ovaries are conserved at hysterectomy , they may become stuck in adhesions near the vault of the vagina resulting in dyspareunia.

Deep dyspareunia may not necessarily be related to gynaecological problems. The urethra and bladder are close to the front wall of the vagina and the rectum, lower colon and small bowel are behind. Disease in these organs, including irritable bowel syndrome, may cause pain during intercourse. Bowel symptoms together with dyspareunia may alert the clinician to this diagnosis.

The majority of women presenting with deep dyspareunia and pelvic pain will have no detectable disease. During sexual arousal (foreplay) the inner two thirds of the vagina expands and the uterus, ovaries and Fallopian tubes are lifted up. If arousal is not complete deep penetration can cause pain.

How can painful sexual intercourse (dyspareunia) be treated?

Painful intercourse may result in apareunia (love-making has stopped or never commenced) and relationships may be put in jeopardy. Painful intercourse

And reduced libido are about the most sensitive of symptoms that a woman may experience and support and understanding are essential. If a psychological or marital problem is suspected an appropriate counsellor or psychiatrist may be required to provide support. The story, examination findings and appropriate investigations will indicate the underlying cause of the problem. When a specific cause is found appropriate treatment can be instituted.

Sometimes pelvic congestion may occur if there has been a high degree of arousal but no orgasm. Lubricants, such as KY jelly may help when natural lubrication is inadequate.

Local trauma (physical damage) either arising from childbirth or from injudicious sexual activity will usually heal with time. Sometimes healing tissue (granulation) may require cauterisation with a silver nitrate stick in the clinic (this is not painful). Infections such as a folliculitis (a boil), candida or trichomonas (vaginal infections) will respond to appropriate medication. Superficial dyspareunia may be the first sign of infection of the Bartholin's duct .

Frequently, there is a feeling that the vagina is too small. Gentle clinical examination should be able to distinguish whether there is a physical problem. When examination shows no physical problem, vaginal dilators (sometimes called trainers) are often successful. These come in six sizes. The smallest dilator (No.1) is gently introduced and the woman taught to remove it and re-introduce it for herself. She can then use it at home for tenor fifteen minutes twice daily. When she can use the smallest trainer without difficulty she can move up to the next size. Encouragement, reassurance and frequent review may be required initially. Occasionally surgical correction maybe indicated if the vaginal introitus is small or if the difficulties are not over come by the dilators. The operation most commonly employed is a Fenton's procedure. A small incision is introduced in the direction of the vagina at the introitus. The incision is closed horizontally to increase the vaginal diameter.

Anonymous said...

Posted strictly in jest.

I always thought I was a very good or one of the best salesman around, until........?

'Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women like to be a man's last romance'.

1960's: A lot of my friends meeting a pretty girl will get glued to her, same girlfriend till they marry years later.
An old family friend, a matured Eurasian gentleman, one of the biggest rascals this side of Suez Canal motivated and enlightened me at 15 years old, with three interesting commandments of his: "why make one girl happy when you can make many happy"? And, "the most dangerous sentence in the world is, 'I love you', use instead, 'like', and you won't get handcuffed, and to remember, girls from age 16 onwards start getting maternal instincts, their mothers start dreaming of cuddling, feeding grandchildren".

That advice stuck with me when I started working, as I began my adventures of sowing wild padi. And the word, 'love' only coming out from my lips was when playing badminton, "12 love, service over".

I never got stuck to one girl, my mind already brainwashed with, "girls at 16 start getting maternal instincts", imagine when they at 23 years of age...? 'Maternal' becomes, 'maternity'.
So I took every precaution and care my 'bachelor's degree' will remain intact, no dents, crushes, heart wounds thru all the romantic interludes, escapades of various levels of infatuations,....and the word 'love' only used in badminton games or as in, 'I love fishing', never aimed at the fairer sex.
I made myself happy, many girls happy, instead of one.
Just like when playing poker, 'know when to hold, when to fold'.

'Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat'.

Never the one to date the same girl regularly every weekend, or seeking problems by going steady, I alternated between several. But when coming across a 6 or a 7 on my beauty scale and with bodies to die for, I did break my rules, at the same time I learned life's lessons, the hard way, that girls (boys too) can have certain possessive attributes. Jealousy being one.
I think one too many young girls read Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs when young, 'mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all'?

When I was 19 I secretly went steady with two girls in KL, dating them on alternate weekends. Sharon, a sexy, voluptuous 18 year old lived in PJ. Carmen, a freckled face, vivacious, bodacious and bubbly, 17 years old, in Sentul.

It was a Saturday morning when I carried Carmen on my Norton Twin motorcycle wanting to spend the day with her sightseeing in Ipoh.

We left KL at 8am, she with long hair in tight jeans and t-shirt, on the way stopping at a Tanjong Malim restaurant well known for their dim sum.
The restaurant was crowded, as we made our way to a vacant table. While waiting for our dim sum to be brought to our table, I got the shock of my life when I suddenly felt icy cold water plus several cubes of ice falling on my head and into my shirt.
Jumping up like I had sat on burning coal,..I got another shock! Almost experiencing intensive cardiac arrest! It was Sharon! She was with her parents and had seen me holding Carmen's hand while sipping my iced coffee waiting for the dim sum. Being a 6 footer can have its disadvantages.

She had picked up someone's glass of iced water and poured over my head and stomping out with her parents. She next day of course never accepted that I was with my sister.
"Brother and sister DON'T HOLD HANDS"!!! Trrrrrrrrrr. She hung up.

Not only my Ipoh sightseeing trip got terminated, dim sum breakfast cancelled, I lost two girlfriends that day. Only consolation, I did not catch a cold.
A cold lesson learned, never go steady with two SYT's (sweet young things) same time, especially if one has a fiery temper.
I had learned about 'jealousy' and the saying, 'hell hath no fury like a woman....when angry"? No more going steady. Lesson learned.

But the above was young, dating days. As I matured, I learned how to escape detection as well when to make my, when sensing a small camp fire about to become a forest fire, my Ninjalogy honed to fine tune. And avoiding dating two or three girls alternately same town.
'Maternal instincts, love' not in my vocabulary. Same time attending many friend's weddings, many marrying childhood sweethearts. Met in high school.
It was, still is something beyond me, being with one girl, same woman from 16 till kicking the bucket at 92.
Not me kiddos! Nothing like variety being the spice of life. I was going for my Phd in womanlogy. And SYT's with stretch slacks and t-shirts now the fashion? WhooooHooo!

'Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few to make sure you like what you getting'.

Fast forward to late 70's:

I was on a business visit in Johore and had booked a room at Mercury Hotel, Segamat. The only hotel in Johore with a pool then. Parking my car at the car park, I recognised a Mercedes car belonging to a KL contractor friend and guessed he too staying overnight. I have on several occasions had dinner with him and his family in KL.

Mercury hotel has a Nite club with dance hostesses, and that night after dinner in town, I popped into the nite club sitting at the bar nursing a glass of Jack Daniels alone. It was very dim, fairly crowded, disco music deafening, disco coloured lights flashing all around us. Glancing around, I noticed my contractor friend, he a matured man about 50, with a young girl at a nearby table. Knowing him married with three grown up kids, I did not acknowledge him, but finished my drink and went to my room do some paperwork for next day's business appointment.

'Mistress...something between a mister and a mattress'.

Next morning, walking into the coffee house for breakfast, I heard my name being called. It was him, he was alone inviting me join his table. I of course teased him, "hey, saw you last night with a pretty young girl in the nightclub", winking at him.
Fortunately diplomacy being one of my virtues I did not add any other comments. He I guessed sensed my cheekiness and joked nonchalantly, "I slept with her last night", grinning like as if seeing a neighbour's wife forgetting to close the curtains when changing clothes.

I laughed knowing some of the hostesses do partake in certain extra mural activities with nite club customers. I answered, "hmmm, nice young girl too, I noticed". Again, I had abstained from making any naughty remarks. He laughed, "Lee, that young girl is my wife".
I was sipping my iced coffee when he said that resulting in my almost choking on my coffee, he slapping my back few times, laughing. Recovering, I exclaimed, "your WHAT"?
"My wife", he laughed. I looked at him up and down, there I was much younger than him, and he has a young wife, much younger than me.

"You mean you now have two wives"? He smacked my shoulder playfully, "my ex-secretary".
Me: "Mind I ask, your other wife knows"? He again laughed, "oh yes,...I married her about eight months ago, small Chinese ceremony, no invitations to anyone".

Just then his young wife came down joining us. She a very pretty, petite lady. He introduced her to me. She recognised me, I too having been to his office few times and congratulated her. I then changed subject with him. In my mind, 'two wives'...and I have problems with having two girlfriends same time avoiding any encounters of the forth kind.

'An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her'.

Two years later, in Butterworth, having secured a fairly large business deal, invited my main contractor involved for dinner, he a matured fellow, and the deal being a fairly large one, I felt generous, "If you like bring your whole family, we go have seafood dinner". He took it literally.

He arrived in tow with seven kids, and three women, all different ages. Youngest lady few years younger than me. Having met his matured wife before over breakfast, thought he had brought his sisters or in-laws. He certainly made me raised both eyebrows when he introduced other two ladies to me, his second and third wives. Holy Smoke! All three good lookers too. Youngest one had a body to die for too.

And not wanting to disgrace my upbringing I abstained from the obvious questions.

And? The three ladies behaved like sisters too, chatting and joking...I dared not enquire about the kids, all different ages belong to which wife?
My experience now? The score now is 3 wives! I forgot to ask him discreetly what diet he was on?
I realised now I had met a better salesman than me. I can sell practically anything. He sold himself to three women, and I could see, sense, there was no animosity between them.

And all three loving him, sharing him. That seafood dinner was one of the most interesting dinners I ever had,...seeing three wives with their husband having dinner with me. I noticed all three wives had almost identical jewelery on them. All three had Jade bangles, almost similar Seiko watches, and even the kids got along well among themselves.
I sure had interesting thoughts in my head few days.

I never did get the opportunity of enquiring how he does it? Keeping three wives happy.

I few years later told and joked with my wife what I had experienced. She laughed, but made a face like Clint Eastwood in 'Dirty Harry,'...and answered, "don't even think about it..."!
Oh well, I did try, ha ha. Just testing the waters. Must go back to college learn new sales techniques.

'A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man'.

Circa: 1980's, Johore. 'And the Gold medal goes to....'?
Finishing a successful business meeting awarding a major contract to a company I knew with a good reputation for completing turnkey projects on time, the CEO, a good friend of mine invited me for dinner, "Lee, kita cross over to Singapore malam esok, celebrate our new project"?

He in his middle 50's, a very successful businessman, devilishly good looking too with an easy going personality, and an infectious sense of humour.

I can talk a bird to come down from a tree. But he? He has that kind of charm, he can not only talk a bird to come down from a tree, but lay and egg, then go back up the tree. I like him.

"Boleh, name the place"?

"Eastcoast parkway, you know that seafood restaurant, dekat The Big Splash"?

"Ahh yes, one of my favourite restaurants, waitresses semua pakai sarongs,...see you there at 7".

"Ohh ya Lee, bawak your isteri, ya"?

"Sorry, isteri not here, I bring myself only".

7Pm, Singapore Eastcoast Parkway.

Walking into the restaurant, I looked for him. A young girl about 10 approached me saying, "selamat petang uncle Lee, meja kita tepi laut", and she led me to where her father was. He waved on seeing me.
I noticed there were two tables joined together and big group of women and about enough kids to start a football team. The beach not far waves splashing to shore, palm trees swaying in the breeze.

'If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all'.

I recognised his wife, a lovely matured lady about 45, greeting her, and thinking she had brought her sisters, or he, his sisters. He knowing punctuality being one of my virtues had already ordered a double Jack Daniels on the rocks for me. I thanking him sitting down, same time stealing discreet glances at the other three ladies. All real lookers too.

"Lee, you've not met wife". She about 35. I looked at him, at her and quickly stood up acknowledging her, same time giving him a raised eyebrow and smile. She was very pretty. I quite used to friends having two wives by now. She greeted me in Malay.

He then made me raise two eyebrows, "Lee, you have not met wife". Under any other circumstances, I would have uttered a loud, "WHAT"? But my good upbringing stayed with me.
I had already taken a big sip of my Jack Daniels, quickly standing up acknowledging her, shaking her hand, she smiling and saying in perfect Oxford English with a slight London accent, "Mr Lee, how do you do? It's a real pleasure meeting you, have been hearing so much about you".

I looked at him, he laughing loudly as I teased her, "hope all good ones, huh"?
"Oh yes, Mr Lee",...I interrupted her, "please call me 'Lee', Zaiton". She laughed, "okay...Lee, I will, not to worry, all good ones", I noticing she raising an eyebrow cheekily. She about 30. I smacked his shoulder.

He I think now enjoying himself seeing my surprised look, then said, "Lee, meet Aini,... my wife", pointing to a lady sitting next to Zaiton, whom I had stolen couple of discreet looks earlier.
To say I was shocked is putting it mildly. More a UFO had landed!
Again, not disgracing my parents or my upbringing, but would make Steven Spielberg consider me for a film screen test, I stood up again, 3rd time! And acknowledged her. She greeted me with a lovely, shy dimpled smile shaking my hand.

She I think about 26, was a real exotic beauty, on my beauty scale, easy an 8, maybe a 9, her beautiful figure resembling a guitar. As well, her low cut sarong blouse showed off her assets that made me take a bigger sip of my drink.

I then knew my salesmanship techniques, my Ninjalogy with women was nowhere three blocks of him. I felt humbled in the presence of a super salesman. In my books, he the ultimate salesman.

'Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over 30'.

He had 4 wives, bringing all four, and from that night onwards I started believing in UFO's, that it was the Chinese who discovered America. All four wives behaving like sisters, and chatting, giggling as they taking turns telling their respective kids to behave themselves, they too having fun with each other as well when the seafood platter arrived, peeling the shrimps and crabs for the youngest kids.

I can see all four loved him and he adored all four. I noticed he never showed any favouritism to any one.

But my curiosity got the better of me and looking at him teased, "minta ma'af my poor manners, but this my ill mannered curiosity, you no problems with names", nodding my head at the children.
His wives hearing me giggling, he laughing then pointing to his kids rattled off their names like a Sergeant in the army doing a roll call, "itu Arrifin,...that naughty fellow with short hair is Zaidi, itu Nora...", not missing or pausing, all accounted for, no errors. I shook his hand, both hands as his wives laughed.

That dinner was and is the most intoxicatingly, most pleasurable, exciting dinner I have ever experienced.
I was totally humbled by his achievements, and awed by his exceedingly, inescapable, outstanding good taste in women as all four on my beauty scale above a 5.
I must admit, I did envy him. 4 exceptionally gorgeous beauties, different ages.
I wonder whether he listens to that Connie Francis song, 'Never on Sunday'?

Much later on, wanting to tease my wife about that dinner, of how four women can love one man, she doing some sewing, I quickly thought otherwise noticing a pair of sharp scissors beside her.

A woman holding a pair of large, sharp scissors and saying, "go ahead, make my day", would certainly give me sleepless nights.

'What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. And panic is when both are pregnant'.

Posted strictly in jest.

Robert Foo said...

Hi a....

I know more than I should by now on sexual related problems. Your sharing have been very useful to me and the rest who read. Thank you for coming back again.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Lee...

We are of the same birds and feathers that flock together. Perhaps you are the elder brother and I am the younger one. Thank you for reminding me of the past. I am sure...I will be learning a lot from you.

Anonymous said...

Men need sex for orgasm.
Women need sex for love.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous....

I think is very subjective. Can be either way. I need orgasm and love too. Thanks for reading my blog...