Listening can help another frustrated person.

One of my ex staff requested me to contact a lady friend who was under depression and needed counselling. I spoke to her once on the phone and communicated several times by the text messages. From her verbal and written words, I could feel and sense that she was unhappy, upset and frustrated. Without delaying further, I invited her for a casual meet today.

Upon meeting her, I could see she was a lost person by the way she dressed and spoke. With my introduction and encouragement, she started to reveal herself without fear. She is an active business trader who runs several promotional gift stores where ever there are action. She complained that business is difficult due to supplies, shortage of manpower, good locations, and poor cash reserve. There were many set back during the past few years. Especially she was cheated by many due to untrustworthy friends and relatives. Even her own sister and brother in law whom she had trusted, refused to assist. While talking on this subject, emotionally she cried with tears. She has the beauty of a good heart but not many who work closed to her would appreciated such beauty. She had spend the best part of her life in this business but she still could not get what she wants. She had no family love and till today she has not found her lover yet. Neglected with love and attention, she has accumulated a huge amount of debt. Many times she had attempted to commit suicide to take the easy way out of life. It was a sad story.

I was listening and understanding her. She was lonely, lacked love and concern. Frustration led to depression which created illogical thinking in her working life. I told her to relax and always try to think the positive way of life. I encourage her to smile and be happy. Smiling can make her attractive and be pleasant in look. Smiling can create confident. Although we met only the first time, she was very comfortable with me. She felt much better after our talk and I assured her, I am only one call away if ever she needed help. We both left as good friends and the meeting was very meaningful to me too.

What Loretta Girzaitis wrote was true, "If someone listens, or stretch out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen."

Later of the night, this lady sent over a text message to me, "Thanks for your encouragement. I will remember all my life."

Start the morning with a cheerful note.

The best thing to start the day is to cheer someone first in the early morning. I am lucky to have friends who celebrate birthday everyday because each day of the calender is always filled with friend's birthdays. Not forgetting today my lovely friend, Suleiha who is celebrating her sweet birthday. Ever since I had known her for twenty five years, I had never failed to send her my self designed personal birthday card. Even making shame on her husband who at times might forget. Not me because they are too important a friend for me.

This morning before she got up from bed, I had prepared a special text message for her. It was written as, "Specially to this lady I admire so much...True beauty of a lady is seen with her heart where love & passion reside...My dear, Happy Birthday to you today. U do have the gifts of the above."....Robert.

Shortly as expected, my mobile phone was returned with this message from her, "Thank you so much handsome u make my day. I mean it." Equally I was delighted with her words. I replied her again, "I am so glad you like my wishes. More so to this attractive and intelligent lady who is reading my sms now." Finally she came back with, "U have a good day sweetheart."

I believe she was happy. Happiness is to see others happy because of ourselves. End result, I was engrossed to feel the pride and wonderfulness of the surrounding. I started with a happy mood and the day ended extremely well too. How I wish if everyone lives by this way of life, perhaps the world then will live more in peace and in harmony!

What Albert Einstein spoken was true, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Perseverance, Tolerance & Patience in selling.

Amanda is one young lady agent also my colleague, who used to contact me for advices and guidance on selling. Recently she sent me a text message, "Hi! Robert how are you? Have not been really chatting with you lately. Are you happy today? I am very happy because even though I lost a small case to another agent who gave discount. It is because I did my best and the husband apologised. The wife insisted to buy from this unprofessional agent. He was happy with my advices. Out of no choice, he had to oblige his wife's decision to deal with that agent and not me."

I felt great to receive her message for I knew she was following my guidance without desperation to sell with discount too. I replied her, "Hi! My dear, I am happy coz you are doing the right approach. Perseverance, tolerance and patience are the way. Read my blog and you learn more."

The next minute she responded, "Now I understand why you are a long time MDRT and always happy. :) Will read. Enjoy your evening."

I sincerely hope Amanda and all those who aspire in selling Life Insurance to practise Perseverance, Tolerance and Patience. These are the key factors to stay and maintain in a long term selling career.

I learned from a friend, Ariff who gave me his encouragement; "Perseverance is the growing quality and Patience is the passion of great hearts."

See the bright side of everything.

Most people always look at the sad part of life when on their day to day affairs. It happened even today. I was assisting another club member in our gym, when he was alone pressing his bench press. He was complaining the bench was uneven and the iron was dirty. I politely reminded him not to complain further, otherwise he would lose interest on the exercise. Since he was already here, might as well think of the benefits he gained. Everything has its good and try looking at the brighter view rather than locating the sad one. My few words changed his outlook and he regained his composure on the serious workout again.

On the way back to my office, I met another colleague whom I had not seen for quite sometimes. He greeted me, "How are you Robert?" Cheerfully I responded, "I am so happy and excited to meet you at this moment." His face was moody, "Not me! Is a horrible day! Everyone is rejecting me." For his sake I explained to him, "Whatever happened there must be a reason. Why don't you take today's rejections as a good learning lessons. Feel happy that someone out there were teaching and guiding you for tomorrow's success." That change his mood, "Humm! You are right. I will try to think that way. Thank you Robert."

Every situation or happening has its wonderful or sorrowful view. If we harp over the wrong part of it, most likely we will feel lousy and frustrated. On the hand, if we pick the ideal part of it, we definitely feel nice and excited. The choice is on us. Nonetheless most people have the negative mind to opt for bad than good. The strong minded will focus the bright side of everything.

William James said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is the man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind."

Understand the bad and keep the good.

Our world cannot be prefect because we have both good and bad in the making all the time. Without bad, good will never know they are good. If there isn't any sickness on earth, mankind will not appreciate good health. Meaning, we have to experience illnesses at times to understand what is good health. To stay healthy, we need the extra effort and energy, which in turn generate productivity for the world. Medical benefits are needed and jobs opportunity are created. If we were to look at it deeper, our mind goes beyond imagination.

If there is no bad guy, than we don't need rules and regulations to control our world. When law is not needed, the police will be out of job and no student is interested to be lawyer then. If that happened, many people will be out of job and it may lead to a lot of frustration later. Under such circumstances, it looks like without the bad guys, the good may find it difficult to live by itself. Is logical to live in a good way of life but without the living of the bad, the good will not know what is good again. What matter most is to know and to understand the different of bad and good in life and pick our choice to remain at good all the time. Believing in good of life is happier and more meaningful to society.

The late Tony P from the Philippines spoke to me once, "No one can go back and make a new beginning but anyone can start from now and make a happy ending."

A home needs a woman

I have a son working in Singapore. Although he has a good job, he was unhappy because he missed his wife and children. The understanding wife, took the sacrifice to resign her established career to join the husband there, taking along their three little kids. With both husband and wife now working, he asked his mother in law and retired auntie to come over to care for their young. As both these elder ladies also missed the children, they were too happy to join them as well.

Not too far away from my son home, I have another brother in law who had migrated to Singapore earlier. Recently his maid had resigned and the family had to share duties to maintain the house. Lately his father in law from the Philippines had a stroke and the daughter had to fly home to see the father. Without any woman in the house, the man was at lost. Immediately he called my wife or his sister to the rescue. Requesting my wife to go over to his home, together with my maid to help.

Men are considered as smart and capable. They hold higher position and can be earning much more than women. Sad to say, without woman in the home, all men will be at lost. My son without her wife around, he was unhappy and fell into depression. His kids, all boys without the grand mother and auntie around, they would feel sad and lonely. My brother in law at first without the maid, the whole house went upside down. Later when his wife left for her home, he realised a woman was so important for the house. Surprised me, non of them thought on male to their rescues. They never asked me or another brother or another male relatives to assist. Finally they knew women are important to them under such circumstances, but they had forgotten that this man who wrote this article also needs woman as much as they do. They took my wife but they left me with a young maid in the house. I wonder what happen if there is no woman on earth, would man be able to survive by themselves!

Elizabeth Cady Stanton was right; "Motherhood is the most important of all the professions - requiring more knowledge than any other departments in human affairs."

The power of woman.

Hairuddin was an old staff of mine, who left several years ago to venture into his tourism business. With the support from his family and especially his wife, he rose rapidly in his circle of contacts. Early this year, there was a down turn when he had conflict with his wife. He had fallen in love with another younger lady whom he had intention to get marry. As a Muslim, he is entitled to get marry again. But without the consent from his first wife, his new young girl friend got frustrated and instead left him for good. Later with further quarrel at home, his wife also divorced him. Without any woman, he was lonesome and sorrowful. He could not sleep and eat for months. His business was badly affected. One day while returning home, he met a nasty accident when he knocked and killed a motorcyclist. He too was badly injured with a fracture leg. The court fined him heavily and banned him from driving for two years. I knew about all these while calling him on phone two months ago. He was recouping in his parents home when he had nothing to do. His voice sounded dull, moody and uninteresting. There was no personal drive in him, when I felt he was like a lost person. Two weeks ago I called him again for the Hari Raya greeting. Surprisingly he sounded very cheerful to me on this occasion. A voice that I could feel with love and happiness. I asked him, "Din, are you in love again?" He replied, "Yes! Boss I found a new girl friend. She is besides me at the Port Dickson beach now. I am coming back for good. After the holiday, I will start by business again."

I believe his words. With nothing at the beginning but with the love of his wife, he built his setting gradually. He lost everything when he created anger with his wife. Without love, it would be difficult for him to move. He might have nothing at the moment, but with his new found love, I trust he will make it again. A woman can lift and spur a man to success but if you had a wrong woman, she can also drain and jeopardize a man to failure. Ladies are for man to love but we have to love them right. In fact, women are actually smarter than men. Whether we like it or not, this is the true facts of life again.

A naughty friend gave this interesting quote, "The greatest achievement for a man is to be able to conquer two women and make them fall in love madly with him passionately. One is a wife and the other is a girl friend. You can even be happier by never allowing these two women to meet. Then you are truly a wonderful happy father and a good lover." I wonder whether its true.

Harmony in thinking, saying & doing

Just awhile ago I was informed, a wonderful friend and relative, Tony P. from The Philippines had passed away. Few days back while playing his usual tennis, he had a stroke, went into coma and peacefully left this world. Although physically he no longer with us, his sweet memories will always be cherished by me, especially his sharing of wisdom and life.

During these past twenty years, I had seen many new births and deaths as well. The starting will always be joyful with the new born and ending with the sorrowful of death. During the journey between birth and death is the challenging path where life has to face the unknown and uncertainties. I had shared many a time the wonderful part of life with my friends and clients. Of course not forgetting the difficult and painful period when they were sicked and unwell. I had attended hundred of graduations and weddings and I had visited countless times at hospital to see my friends. Sicknesses like diabetic, high blood, heart diseases and cancers were common. They not only affected my older friends but the younger one too. Depression and stressfulness were usually heard also.

Thanks to the Almighty Universe, I am much older than most of my friends and clients by now, but today I am blessed with good health and mind. Perhaps not drinking and not smoking since young helps a lot. Living a simple life is good, when I don't have to compete and compare. I exercise regularly on cardiovascular to achieve stamina and on iron to strengthen my muscles. I believe happiness is by feeling and I always choose to be happy rather than to be sad. I think with wisdom but I feel like a young person. I can be as serious a person and at times I can be as playful like a child, when most older person may not dare to. I love sharing more than to receive which I believe can make a person more happier. Talking is my hobby and selling insurance allows me to talk. My role and duty is to stay healthy and to assist whoever I meet and know in the course of my life journey ahead. Thanks to The Almighty again for making me as a life insurance agent to reach and touch lives.

What Mahatma Gandhi said was true; "Happiness is when what you think, what you said and what you do are in harmony."

The more you share, the more you gain.

When I started to blog in March this year, few friends were wondering why I have do share my experiences to the world. I told them by sharing and giving, one would gain the feeling of happiness inwardly. You don't have to expect any return but the joy gratefully will come. In fact when I first started to write, I could not imagine that I could post so many articles and ideas in this blog. Almost every day, I wrote with something different and I had posted more than two hundred articles by now. One thing is confirmed, the more you share the more you gain. By sharing, our mind expands and it comes natural with more ideas. Those who have kept their thoughts being selfish in mind, may not realise this divine benefit.

Harcharan, a close buddy had reminded me before with this powerful phrase, "A candle does not lose its light by lighting another candle, so light up the life of those in darkness." Your words were true and it really works.

To be kind is more important than to be right.

A motorist was speeding recklessly at top speed. Drove past several red lights without the concern of the oncoming traffic. Further down the highway, a police outrider was around the corner. Immediately he switched on his police siren and pursuit this offending driver. It took awhile before the police officer managed to corner this car to a stop. The officer took his pistol and instructed the car driver to come out and to raise his two hands. The driver shouted aloud, "Please help! My wife is about to give birth. She is in extreme labour pain. I need to send her to the nearest hospital not too far away." True enough, the officer could see a pregnant woman at the back seat, groaning in pain. It was rightful for the officer to stop the speeding car, but upon seeing the painful woman, kindness of his heart told him that he had to assist as well. Instead of issuing a summon to the driver, he offered to out ride and clear all traffic for this gentleman. The woman managed to reach the hospital in time to deliver their first born child. Thanks to the understanding police officer who overruled all rules and regulation on the road.

Moral of the story; "To be kind is more important than to be right. Sometimes all a person needs is not a Brilliant Mind that speaks but a Patience Heart that listens."

The pride of staying longer in our business.

Simon called to enquire about his policies taken through me for the past 24 years. His younger daughter is planning to go for further study soon. He has to raise money for his child. Either he has to sell away one of his properties or apply funding from his various insurances. Upon verifying, I was able to confirm that there was sufficient cash for his needs from our side. Simon was delighted because he solved his financial needs without selling the house. I was equally excited and happy to see the expression of my client voice. Deep down in my heart, I had two types of feeling. A little sad to see how time had passed. The day when I insured his daughter's educational plan, she was only one year old. Today she is a grown up child, ready to excel further in life. I can't imagine how this twenty years had passed so rapidly. On the other hand, I am proud with pride to be able to stay long enough in this challenging business. I had sold them and I am still here to serve with honour. I had created hopes and dreams, and I have kept my promises to be around at all times. Perseverance, Tolerance and Integrity have kept me in this business. With these qualities of life, I believe walking another twenty years in this career is possible.

Quote from the Pravs World, "People spend a lifetime searching for happiness looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, additions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plaques them. The irony is that the only place they ever needed to search was within themselves."

Beauty alone without love isn't complete in life!

I have known a lady friend for some years. She is attractive, pretty and a smart female. Except she has no love in her eyes. She likes to dress well and loves to beautify herself whenever she meets others. She is a learner and willing to work hard. However with all these qualities, she finds excelling in her career as difficult. With my understanding, she was frank to reveal that she doesn't like to have sex with male. She sees sex as sinful and vulgar. She looks at sex as lust and temptation rather than as affection and love. Because of her negative thoughts toward sex, she is afraid to fall in love with man. Whenever any men approach her with a little intention or kindness, she cuts them off quickly. She looks adorable from the outside but has no love inside.

I believe she is confused, frustrated and stressful. She claimed that she dresses well to appease herself all the time and not for the purpose to show to others. But in fact, without her knowing, psychologically she has the intention to show her beauty to others as well. I believe everyone on earth likes to be appreciated and admired in look and mind. She could be frustrated to see many happy and loving couples but not herself. She might have experienced some or one unsuccessful relationship before, which made her afraid to fall in love again. My only advice is; mistakes are our teachers. They taught us to be better, including love mistakes. She is a single mother with two young children who need her attention and guidance. With a heavy role to play plus a challenging career, she is tired and stressful I believe. Can't blame her because she doesn't know where to source for energy and motivation!

She has forgotten the world is created with LOVE. Without the existence of Adam and Eve, to those who believe, love would never be around. Love has miracle. Love enhances strength and energy. If only this attractive and smart lady gives herself a chance for another deserving man to fall in love with her again, I strongly think she will be happier a person. Not all men are bad. Some are devoted lovers too. I am sure as she is also a learner, she should be able to sense and feel whether a truly loving man is around for her. Provided she has to allow that chance for herself. I hope and wish, this lady friend will meet that man of choice to enlighten her life again. With love, her life is definitely complete and meaningful.

Quote by Teilhard de Chardin, "Driven by the forces of love, the fragments of the world seek each other so that the world may come into being. Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is the deepest in themselves."

Are you speaking with your heart or mind?

Most of my clients took my advices when needed. I asked them, "Please tell me why you listen to my words?" They said, "Robert, not only you speak with your mind but you speak with your heart too." I believe is true! All of us speak with the mind all the time. Not many speak with the mind and the heart together. Mind can be creative and logical in sense. Is the heart that speaks with sincerity. Mind can be deceiving and corrupted but the heart speaks the truth. Although creative and logical words spoken with the mind can be convincing. It is even more powerful if sincerity of the heart is added. These words could be felt with emotion and feeling. The fact of life is that even you may know speaking with the heart is effective, you may still not speak with it. Because not many have sincerity in character.

David Caruso spoke, "It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head - it is the unique intersection of both."

My commitment in selling.

Many sales can be closed and concluded at the same times. Not life insurance. I had sold thousand of policies and many are still not concluded yet. They still need my personal attention and advices. Perhaps relating a case would explain the picture.

Kabeer has been a client cum best friend since I started selling life insurance. From a little plan he effected, today his entire family comprising eight of them are also my clients. I took care their medical and children education plans. All the children have grown and completed their education and are married with more children. With Kabeer trust and respect, I was introduced to two of his brother families, who later bought more life insurance from me. This is how business expanded just by knowing one friend.

There is living and there is death which is unavoidable. Early this year, Thahir one of the cousin brother of Kabeer, passed away unexpectedly with a heart attack. He was only 52, leaving a son still in college and a daughter of just 5. Thahir was a self made man. Single headed, from a small book store, he managed to turn the business into a supermarket. The life insurance proceed was kind to his immediate family. Although his only son, Ihsan was only 20 of age, he is capable to continue his study and to man his father business. As I had been a closed friend to his late father, now is my turn to guide and assist this young man in every way I can. I had given my assurance to Ihsan that I am always be with him, if he ever needs advice and support.

The other brother, Ali Khan has another uneventful year too. His wife was admitted for a heart attack too. Fortunately she was well treated and recovered. All the medical charges was paid through her insurance plus a critical cover was admitted for claim. Only this week I handed the claim cheque to the husband. The entire family was so delighted how life insurance works when you need them the most.

Out of these three families heads, Kabeer was the fittest. But last two weeks, I was informed that he was admitted for high blood pressure. He was under observation for three days. During that period, I visited him when I gave him my encouragement and assurance that everything was taken care. Although uncomfortable, I knew he had the piece of mind cause the life insurance are in good hand. I was glad he was discharged after he recovered.

I am happy to have sold many policies to these family members but I am even more proud to be there when they needed me. As long as I live, I promised to them I will never leave my responsibilities. All my sales will not be concluded because I am still here to guide and offer assistance in every way. I grow with them. I understand them. I offer my sincere advices and promises. I don't just sell but rather provide hope and encouragement. Along this journey, I had also broadened my knowledge and gain a little of wisdom of life. Thanks God! I am in the life insurance business.

Powerful quote; "Giving is more a dictate of the heart than a command of the brain." by Henry A. Russo.

Do u know the different between sex & making love?

I had a friendly chat with an elegant lady recently. Man and woman, the subject was brought up. She politely asked me, "Robert, do you know what is the different between having sex and making love?" With a bit of hesitation I replied, "They are more or less the same. Would be good, if you can enlighten me."

According to her, most men are corrupted in mind. Whenever they look at ladies, especially those they adore, their thoughts would be filled with sexual approaches. On the other hand, when ladies favour their men, they think more of making love. Making love is romance and preferable start off with something pleasant and relaxing. Perhaps over a candle lighted dinner with fine wine being served. May be added with some soft music and dance along with the tune. Both either chat or merely see each other eye to eye. With some affection, they hug and kiss to their emotion and feeling. The night might end just with a good night kiss or if the desire allows, sex is optional to the parties concern.

Love making is purer with a romantic thought in mind. Sex is vulgar and unrefined. An advice from this out spoken lady for the man. Approach ladies with tenderness, patience, care and plenty of love. Be a refine gentleman of perfection. Thank you my lady friend, I will be a better lover again.

Eddie Cantor spoke, "Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast-you miss the sense of where you are going and why." He was right, why just have sex when making love lasts longer.

Man always gives way to ladies.

Woman is luckier than man. My experience tells, man is always for ladies, but ladies might not necessary always for man. If a woman had a flat tyre, she would not find difficulties to request assistance from any man. Not for man, sorry he has to get it done himself. If a lady jumps queue on a road, everyone won't mind. Not a man again, cause everyone will finger point at him. If a man was to receive a strange sweet female voice on the phone, he accepts the call willingly. Not a male strange voice, his call might be rejected. If a male stranger knocks on your home, everyone pretends no one is in the house. Not a lovely lady, all men will rush out to say 'hi'. If a sexy doll approaches your table and ask for a drink from any men, they will be too happy to say 'Yes' without hesitation. Not a man, he will be thrown out. If a lady was to offer a smile to another man, his heart melts with joy. Not from a man, the lady runs away. If a woman accidentally crosses a man's pathway, the man apologies. Unlucky for the man if he accidentally crosses the lady's pathway cause she might snob at him.

For those who have girlfriends. When a girl calls her boy, "Sweethearrrrt! Nobody is in my house and I am afraid. Can you come over to my home now to accompany me?" How busy and late the night, the boy will say,"Yes! Yes! Yes!" for sure. If the boy calls, "Dearrrr! I am lonely now. My car is under repaired. Can you come over to my place now?" Her reply, "Sorry! I have plenty of homework. See you tomorrow."

Whether we like it or not, that is the way of life in our society. Man is always for woman. We need them as mother, lover and as wife. They bear the burden to conceive us for nine months and have to sacrifice their lives to give birth to us. They are very important to us.

Quote from Maurice Maeterlinck, "All mothers are rich when they love their children.There are no poor mothers, no ugly ones, no old ones. Their love is always the most beautiful of joys."

No sex is bad for health.

Lee was one handsome, fit and wise man of the mid sixty, who frequently works together with me at our gym club. He was working hard on the fit strider machine when I pondered him with some fun, "Young man, u love this strider a lot?" He responded, "Yes! this is the only machine that can pump my heart to a beat of 130 and more." I added, "Surely u have another machine at home, on the bed which can pump better. Isn't it?" The wise man with a young heart replied, "Definitely! Another form of exercise is sex which regulates our heart effectively."

Although he was still exercising on the fit strider, he continued to explain this interesting subject of hidden sex. According to him, those days there were lesser divorce cases because people made love more than any other entertainments. Families produced more children than the present generation. If one needed to see a psychiatrist, the first thing the Dr would ask, "How many times do you have sex a week?" If you had sex more than one time a week, you are perfectly a healthy person. However if you did not have sex at all, then you should be staying back to consult him. Lee was not shameful to relate, he enjoyed sex very much even at his age. He claimed that man is luckier because we are always ready to have sex any time, unless that man isn't healthy. Not ladies cause their sex interest depend on mood and feeling. Further more, women might loose interest sooner than expected, especially when they have given birth to children. When that happen, men suffer silently with sorrow and frustration. So sometimes you can't blame men as naughty and playful outside.

The above words and facts were derived from Lee, a man who understands the facts of life to live healthier with the satisfaction of a good sex living.

The meaning of happiness according to Epicurus, "Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are the cornerstones of happiness."

Do you want to be a Star Performer?

Last week I was invited to give a talk to my fellow colleagues of another life insurance company. One of the topic I shared was; The 30 attributes of a Star Performer.

There was a consensus done worldwide on 100 international corporations. Each company picked their top 5 Star performers, who gave their working habit and ethic to make them special and different. The following are the 30 attributes gathered from this international consensus.

1.Honesty 2. Competitive 3. Positive Attitude 4. Persistence 5. Patience

6. Hardworking 7. Integrity 8. Humility 9. Sense of Humour 10. Drive

11. Determination 12. Confidence 13. Responsible 14. Motivated 15. Pride

16.Empathy 17. Single-minded 18. Decisive 19. Belief 20. Enthusiasm

21. Common Sense 22. Detail Master 23. Dependable 24. Dedicated 25. Loyalty

26. Organised 27. Goal Oriented 28. Listener 29 Learner 30. Communicator.

Out of the 30 attributes outlined, 25 are purely 'Attitudes'. Four are 'Skills' that are 'Attitudes' related. It is only one is regarded as skill alone. Organised, Goal Oriented, Listener and learner are skill but one still has to have the right attitude to learn. Communicator is a skill that can be learned by itself. The bottom line tells, 'Attitude' is the main factor for a person to do well in anything.

Attitude cannot be learned but it can be cultivated. So if you are not doing well in your work or career, it is high time that you should assess yourself. Do you have the above attributes to make you the Star of your company?

Quote not to be forgotten; "The main reason a person achieves, keeps and performs well in a job is totally dependent on his attitude."

Shall I give u a hug?

A lady friend read my last article, "Coffee, tea or me?" She wrote to ask whether these are possible. Start the early morning with an aroma cup of thick coffee, which gives her the energy to last the entire day. At the end of her working day, relax herself with a cup of tea spiced with hot ginger to warm her up. Later in the night, before she adjourns to the dreamworld, 'Me' to be there to complete the day.

WoW! I didn't know coffee, tea and me are so important to her! I promised a hug will be given. "Coz a hug is a handshake from the heart."

A cup of tea or coffee?

Start the day with coffee and relax with a good cup of tea in the late afternoon. I have been drinking tea almost my entire life. When I was young, my father was running a Hainanese coffee shop. Besides studying, I had to help in our family shop business. I knew how to serve customers and good in making tea and coffee. I could be extremely young in age, but my serving of these coffee or tea were many times better than what you get at the moment.

Today all the catering outlets from the little stores right up to the 5 stars hotels, can never serve you an original typical coffee or tea of the past. Their presentation or external image look impressive and the setting might be comfortable, but you don't get the good cup of tea or coffee. One word, 'Love' is not added to make it tastes better.

In order to make a good cup of tea or coffee, the tea dust and coffee beans have to be the best of qualities. I prefer to take tea more for coffee. English tea sounds colonial but to the Asian, it is the mildest in taste. Chinese milk tea is acceptable but the best is still the Ceylonese tea specially served by the Indian. A presentable cup of tea is served with the right blending of matching colour. The water has to be boiling hot before the tea dust is mixed. Water boiled by charcoal tastes better than gas boiling and the hotness can last much longer. For convenient purposes, it is sad that nobody uses charcoal to boil water nowadays. Besides milk and sugar, Indian tea is added with some extra spices to bring out the aroma. To enjoy this good cup of tea, it should be served with a thick ceramic cup and not glass or plastic made.

You might have a tasty meal, but if the cup of tea or coffee is not properly made to serve, it affects your mood and thought. No coffee or tea drinkers can start the day well, if that hot drinks are not served in the morning. Later in the late afternoon, a cup of tea soothes your relaxation. Life can be challenging but the simplicity of living, like having a cup of tea or coffee can create satisfaction of our mind. It is so easy to be happy but life complicates to make us unhappy. So the next time you are not happy, try having a good cup of tea to make you feel differently.

A laughing quote, "Coffee, tea or me? Its there available for you."

Young man don't get marry too early in life, coz...

Wing Nam was only a baby when I first knew his dad. Today he is a twenty three years old university student who will be graduating next year. I had a chance to talk with him on the phone while waiting for his dad to return. Casually I asked him, "Do you have a girl friend now?" Without hesitation, he replied, "Yes! uncle. She is just 3 years younger than me." I went further, "Beside her, do you have any more extra girl friends?" He was puzzled, "Ah! How can?"

Jokingly I said, "Perhaps the extra girls can be your spare girl friends. In case, the present one leaves you, you still have another to standby for you." With surprise he said, "Would that be possible!"

Not to confuse him further, I explained, "Wing Nam, you are still very young at this age. You should not tight down with just one girl friend. At your age, it is advisable to mix and get to know many friends as possible. The ideal age for a man to get marry is after 30, when he is more mature. When you are at 30, you will have a chance to select a range of 10 years difference in age below, for seeking your ideal girl. At 23 now, sorry to say you have only 3 years different range, right until girl's age of 20. Just imagine, if you have a different of 10 years range, you have a wider selection. Logical to you?"

I continued, "If you get marry young, you would have an old looking wife later in life, because women aged faster than men. If you do take my advice and get marry late in life or to marry a girl who is younger than you by 10 years, you rest assure you will have a wife always young to you for the rest of your life."

I did not know whether Wing Nam took my words. It is a fact of life that women mature faster than men of the same age. Whether he takes my advices or not, it is fate that decide the future of a person. Moreover love is blind.

Mother Theresa said, "Life is an adventure, dare it!"

Is not expensive but you are earning less.

I was driving with a lady friend, along a rich neighbourhood when she gave this remark, "The houses and cars around here must be expensive." I replied, "No! My dear, they are not expensive. Just that you are earning less. If you could have work hard and smart, earning a couple of million every year, these houses and cars are reachable to you too."

Is a fact of life, if those who earn less, every thing is going to be expensive to them. On the hand, those who are rich, they feel most things are cheap. If we cross over to Singapore, we will assume everything is pricey and most likely we spend lesser. For the Singaporean, even those who might be low earner, they find things in Malaysia are cheap. The simple reason is, Sing Dollars are rated higher than our local RM. To be at what they are of today, their country has been working hard and smart. Their reserve is stronger and richer.

In order for the individual to feel most things as cheap, the solution is to work harder by being smarter as well. If our nation could work with the right attitude, similarly our country would be richer too. So! the next time when you can't afford to buy something, you are actually earning less and not that something is expensive. Work harder and be smarter!

Quote by Bertrand Russell, "The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy; I mean that if you are happy you will be good."

Live a balanced & rounded life

Is alarming to know there are high separation and divorce in families, when women turn to working life. I notice more on career ladies, especially those on sales. Before, women look forward to marry the right men to provide. Today, women are smarter and they have opportunities to compete with men in the corporate world. With their wits and fancies, ladies prefer to work and be independent rather than be dependable on men.

Is seldom to have a successful aggressive lady to do well in her career and yet have time to manage her home and to care the young and the old. Men are easier to manage their time. After all men need not have to produce baby and to face the regular monthly menstruation of female. To do well in work is marvellous but to be too aggressive at work and forget the home and your loved one is sad. Many a time, when ladies are given the chances to sell, they really work to the utmost and forget their priorities. They seek for fame and achievement beyond doubts. Twenty five years ago, our company top 10 sales producers were all male. Today all these ranking had been taken over by ladies. Is definitely a great achievement for women at the sacrifice of the families and the love for man.

To me is a scary vision of the present life. At the way we live, there will be more broken homes. Children have to live with single parent. Grand parents have to be sent to the old folk homes. Men have to live alone without love. Women lead the world and men follow.

Whatever it is, I still think the best way to live, whether is a man or a woman, is to live with a balanced and rounded life. At the end of our life journey, when we look back, we will not regret what we have done and completed. We may have the knowledge to seek a good career, but we also need to have the wisdom to understand the purpose of life here. After all we only have one time to live in this world. Live a balanced life!

The Million Dollars Round Table recommends to live a happy & successful life by the whole person concept; Career, Education, Community, Family, Health, Financial & Spiritual.

I will always walk beside you no matter what happen!

Do you notice? Successful working men have more time to think of women. Whereas successful career women seldom have time to think of us. Both could be busy with their work, but man tend to think of his loved mate more than his counter part. By nature when a man strikes rich, his first thought will be for his love. He feels happy and proud to share his success to the one he loves most. He will be even more happier to buy gifts for his mate, at that moment of his achievement. Sad to say not female! When a woman strikes rich, her first thought will be herself. She will pamper herself to her utmost, buying those tasteful gifts she has waited. Her best friend at that moment of time is the diamond. Perhaps only after fulfilling herself, the next thing in mind may be is her mate, provided she has one. Is not wrong of women to react this way. Because ladies were never given the opportunity to excel in career before. Those days, women had to depend on man to provide. Now that women are smarter, they prove that they can live independently without man. Sorry for the men! If we still lack behind, one day we might not have woman to be with us. Whether we like it or not, this is the true facts of life.

To my love I write,

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Just walk beside me and be my love when I hold your hand."

Young and old need each other.

I think God has created the world fairly between the young and the old. The young has the strength and drive, greater than the old. Whereas the old has gained more knowledge and wisdom than the young. I can't imagine, if the young has everything; strength, drive, knowledge and wisdom, then the old will not survive and not wanted. In view, the young lack knowledge and wisdom, they seek the old for guidance. Indirectly, we survive with the understanding of helping each other along the way.

Although I have lived with my biological age of 60, I felt this is the best age of my life. I have come this far, to gain this extra knowledge and a bit of wisdom which allow me to see life deeper. I appreciate life better in many ways but just that I have to borrow the strength and drive from the young. If I mix more with the older foes, I tend to think old like them. On the hand, spending time and knowing the young, they transfer their youthful energy to me. Today, I think with a wisdom mind and the heart feels like 38 turning 37 this year. I am at peak of my life.

Spoken by Ralph Waldo Emerson, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."