Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Mother- Father Job Description.


PARENT- Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

I like this advice - "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother" - Theodore M. Hesburgh

11 comments:

cendawan said...

Robert,
wahh, so fast already made another entry on ur blogs. Just now see u on Khalifah group sharing session, now u already post something new here..

Anyway, the teamwork sharing is really great. 30 Star Performence attitude will help us to improve ourself..Thanks again..hope will see u again in other sharing session.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Eddie,

You guys gave me hope and value which are turned into another form of energy...this is called enthusiasm.

Happiness is to see others happier and succeeding in lives. I am sure all of you would do well coz i saw your eyes with positive attitude.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please come again.

cendawan said...

u are welcome robert.
yes, i always visit ur blog to read ur wisdom of Life...

Thiep said...

First of all. Thanks very much for your useful post.

I just came across your blog and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here.

Please let me introduce you some info related to this post and I hope that it is useful for community.

Source: Production job description

Thanks again
Ngo

Robert Foo said...

Hi Thiep,

Thank you for coming by. I am sure those info you provided could be useful as well.

Anonymous said...

amazing stuff thanx :)

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous 27 Dec,

Thank you for reading my blog.

holy said...

good article about QA Job...very informative and beneficial for me..thx

Robert Foo said...

Hi Holy,

Thank you for reading my blog.

holy said...

nice article about QA Job...very informative and beneficial for me..thx

Anonymous said...

I have 7 kids they rage from 3 to 16 we here I hate you.almost every day.from the three yr old the 7 yr old ignores us.the two 9 ye holds think we know everything the 12 yr old is butting heads with her father about boys and I believe life in general huffing puffing rolling eyes the 13 yr old boy takes every oppertunity he has to instagate all the younger kids and the 16 yr old thinks we know absolutely. Nothing but wants a.car from us so when I read this post I had to laugh because it made my husband and I think are kids are not the only ones that act retarded and yes we love all 7 of.them and they still at the end of the.day give out free hugs and kisses except when they have friends over