Saturday, September 13, 2008

Are you spending enough time with your children?

I had not seen my grand children for many months. The last few days I was with them. I was locked in with them in their apartment. I talked like a child and acted like a child. They thought I am one of them. They address me as 'Kor Kor Yea Yea' in Chinese, which means 'Brother Grand Dad'. When I was young, I never had a chance to fool around with my children. I was very strict with all my sons and I believe they were equally afraid of me. I regretted not spending the quality time with them. Time passed so fast, now is the turn for my children to raise their children. I wonder they repeat the same mistakes I had made.

Little things could mean so much. Just like spending some time with Barry who is only four now. He was alone in his room, when I suggested to take him for a walk at a nearby park. Excitedly he took along his roller skate and both grand dad and grand son had a chance to fun around together. I held his tiny fingers with pride. I pushed to offer him strength while he skated happily. We talked and laughed. He listened to stories which the parents had not told. As I said earlier, these tiny gestures and fun time could be little things to most parents, they meant a lot to me now. Deep in my heart, I had missed the best part of my lives when my children were young but I did not know how to appreciate and spent those quality time with them then. Thanks God! Luckily I still have a young heart and mind to be with my grand children today. I hope my children would not fall into the same trap like me, when they are being carried away by their careers and the surrounding.

To all young parents - "Our children could only be young once. Make the best of your time with them when they are still young and innocent. The little things could be big things eventually in lives."


Alvin Foo said...

My dad was absolutely right about how we were brought up. The environment were strict and we had strict rules to adhere to. It was only my dad's way or the highway. Little was there any options and explanations given then but i m sure my dad had done all that with good intention and the loves for his kids. I dont blame my dad to these days of how he had managed us though i may not entirely agree with how he had put us through.

With hindsight, some of the strict actions were needed at that point of time and perhaps it had made a better person of me. Of course with good educations that my dad had given us and the exposure that we had gained over the years, I m sure we are armed with better ways to manage our kids but even then i cant guarantee that our kids will be better off.

While i know being strict and firm to my kids are needed, somehow i just melt when i m in front of my kids. They are so dear to me that i somehow cant find enough courage to be firmed and tough on them. I had left it to Debbie to do the nasty job most of the time. Though Debbie may not had been the perfect mom but she has done reasonably well all the years.

Parenting isnt easy and there is no right and wrong. Some may be hard of their kids, some may be overly soft on them (like myself), some may be carefree but most importantly, i think its all down to spending "quality time" with their kids and nothing could be more important than this aspect after all our kids are not going to be young forever. My dad used to say "run or swim with me now and not later for i maybe too old to be able to run or swim with you." Its the same principle with kids. Dont wait till they grow up, play with them now.

Dad, you didnt set a trap for us, you taught us well and given us good education and I m sure we are all better parents as a result of you and mom.

Robert Foo said...

Hi son...

Thank you. You touched my heart.