Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Words can heal & words can harm.

Selling life insurance is fun to me. Not only I get to know many clients, they later became closed friends for live. They almost tell me everything from financial to even their personal life. I had seen those as single and got marry eventually. Some married and later requested for divorce. While interacting with so many people, I learned a little about the facts of life here.

Those couples who could stay long enough to be happy are those who know how to say things right. They are the one who always used positive and encouraging words to their loved one. Not only during the day but in the late night as well. When I said during the day, it means not sleeping time. During the day, it is much easier to speak well beautifully to compliment each other. The fact is, when during the day everyone is clothed, there ought to be no shyness or shame. However on bed in the nite, when there is some form of intimacy, many tend to have some inferiority in themselves.

During the day, when a woman sees his husband or lover well dressed, she might say.."darling you look handsome this morning". That wonderful compliment would definitely make him delighted. Not on bed when the man is unclothed. She might sound to him, "Hi! you should put on some weight. Otherwise, how can you carry me physically with your size." Those are hurting statement which might create an inferior complex to the man. Or after a game of excitement when the man did not last long enough to appease the woman, out of dissatisfaction she might said, "Mmmmmm is a lousy one today dear." Again the man felt uncomfortable and he might even loose his sexual confidence. Sometime these little hiccups could jeopardise a good relationship.

An understanding couple should always apply good and meaningful words at all time. I picked up a few strong pointers from some successful lovers. Never degrade your partners while on bed. Be frank and truthful to each other. If you want your partner to improve his/her defects, give encouragement rather than by criticizing. These might work...."I love your strength darling. Please give me more. You are my strongman". Or "Today isn't a good day but I am sure you will do better tomorrow sweetheart because you are my hero". These are hidden words but are practical for all loving couples who wish to motivate each other. A good nite sleep can make a better tomorrow for everyone.

As Henri Nouwen said, “Words can bring consolation, comfort, encouragement, and hope. Words can take away fear, isolation, shame, and guilt. Words can reconcile, unite, forgive, and heal. Words can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude. Words, in short, can carry love on their wings. A word of love can be one of the greatest acts of love.”

No comments: