Indirect asking to see the inner mind.

Sock Ngee is getting marry in two weeks time. I feel extremely happy for her because I saw her grows since a baby 27 years ago. She is my good friend daughter whom I have treated more like my own, being that I don't have daughter myself. Today was the day when the bride and bridegroom were to meet, exchange of gifts and dowry to be paid to the bride parents. A Chinese ceremony and custom before the actual marriage.

I spoke to Sock Ngee on the phone, "My dear, are you sure you have picked the right man?" She smiled, "Yes! I am sure Robert." I continued,"How much is the dowry your parents are receiving from him." She said, "We agreed at ten thousand." My turned,"What! Only ten? Your parents had spend so much and effort on you. Surely you are worth more than that. At least he should give them a million. I still have a last son not married yet. I will offer you two million, if he isn't prepared to give a million. How?" She had a shock, "Mmmmmm! How can! One million is a lot of money. Moreover I don't think he has the cash. Not fair to him." I hesitate, "My dear, if you don't try, how would you know he can't." Showing aggression she responded, "He is not rich yet. He is poor and can't afford it now. He is only a worker and not a boss."

I know the poor girl was disturbed. Without further ado, I explained my intention for asking those questions. Of course no normal working man could afford to pay a dowry of a million. The normal dowry is within the ten thousand range only. I was just trying to test how she reacts by joking with her. Without her realising it, she was very protective over her coming husband. I threw her the challenge that she should forward that similar question to her darling. She could also take it as a joke. The ways he replies could determine his real character. If he gets angry over them, then he isn't a gentleman at all. On the other hand, if he could reply with a sense of humour, I believe he is a real understanding husband for my dear. This is the best and final time to see the mind of a man prior to his marriage. The young bride was delighted with my explanation. She accepted my challenge and promised to ask the man accordingly.

Moral of the story- "The indirect way of asking can see the true colour of an unknown mind."