Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sometimes a no is better than a yes.

Billie, one of our older colleague came to seek my financial assistance. I knew he was not doing well and had many family and personal problems. To lend him money is to loose him as a friend. It was not easy to explain to a desperate friend here.

During the many years of selling life insurance, I had on countless occasions lent and assisted many friends who borrowed from me. As an agent we tend to be very personal to most of our friends and clients. We practically know their financial needs and income. Once they are in financial trouble, the nearest person who could help usually would be the life insurance agents. As I had soft heart and ears, I seldom said 'no' to my friends those days. The saddest things was, very few would attempt to repay the friendly loan offered. To make thing worst, we no longer are friends now coz, either they are too shy and shameful to turn up to repay or they just refused to repay for the sake of taking advantage of the situation. I lost many good friends by lending money to them. Just today itself, while locating for a car park in town, I accidentally saw a friend who had borrowed five thousand from me a couple of years back. The minute he noticed me around, he turned his body to shy away from me. I was sad and felt hurt coz we were good friends at one time. Because of this small value cash, we had to distance ourselves now. In order not to make things difficult for this particular friend, I too had to assume I did not know him.

I related the above to Billie who took it positively. Instead I assured him, I would rather support him morally and physically. For the amount he needed, I advised him to approach the bank who might consider an employee personal loan for him. I hope sincerely Billie would still take me as a good friend.

Moral of the story - sometimes we have to learn to say no when a yes cannot be granted. If ever you want to lend money to a friend, make sure you don't expect to have them back. Otherwise you loose the cash plus a friend.

I think these are true facts of life - Give unconditionally and love unconditionally, our heart we not be hurt.

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