Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I fell in love with a wonderful married man.

Joycle is 48 and is still single. She has a good career and living a quiet life, until she fell in love with a married man who is older than her by 10 years. She loves him dearly but at times she isn't happy either. Happy because she got a man who is responsible, caring, intelligent and most of all, he loves her sincerely from bottom of his heart. Unhappy as he is still married. She feels the pain each time when he has to return home. As we are good friends, Joycle asked me, "Am I at wrong? Shall I leave him? Or what shall I do?"

Is a tricky and sensitive question? Any way I managed to give my personal view and I would like to share them with my readers without prejudice. I told Joycle these. The world was never created to be perfect in the first place, ever since Adam and Eve ate the forbidden apple. No nation is perfect either. There is no peace around as wars and fights are every where. No single company is perfect too. If you had the chance to see them inside, they have dirt and rubbish as well. No family can live without quarrel and arguments. No sole person in this world can live perfectly well.

To the many, Joycle should have met a single man. However it isn't easy for her to meet an ideal man at her present age. She should have married, when she was younger some said. However nobody could turn the clock around now. It was unfortunate she didn't meet her prince earlier in life, but it is by fate she met this man who truly loves her now. It is always easy for woman to get man but isn't easy to get the right man who loves the woman. I considered Joycle as lucky to have met this wonderful man.

I told her, it is important to live for herself, and not to live just for the sake of showing to others. Be couragous, love him with all you heart and soul. Love him with affection and care. Love him with tolerance and patience. Love him without selfishness but love him whole heartily with support. Love has no hate and ill thought of each other. Love him not as a wife, as it's rather late for both to be as husband and wife now. But rather to love him as a good friend to share the good and bad of life. Love him as a romantic lover to give him the love of life. Don't be bothered by the disturbed surrounding and environment. Love him until his surrounding; likes his friends, relatives, family and especially his wife respect and admire her greatness of a true lady. All these could be made possible, if only she believes love has the virtue energy and magic by itself. I was glad Joycle took my advices and encouragement, when most asked her to back out.

Meaningful quote from an Unknown Author; "Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."


Anonymous said...

I totally understand I was about your age when I started dating someone that is married (I didn't know that he was for several months)but by then I was in love with him. I was sure that he loved me so much ...but not enough to leave his wife. We're not seeing each other now after 14 years.
Fourteen years of my life are gone.
And here I set alone when I could have been with someone who wanted me to be first in their life.And wanted to share everything with me.
Remember with a married man your never first and we desere to be.
He quit even calling after I was laid off from my job along with 275others at the company. Now I'm about to loose my home, can't find another job and don't know where I'll go.
To top it all off I had to have a hip replacement or not walk.
I thought come hail or high water if something ever happened to me that nothing could stop him from being here. Well I was wrong!
This all doesn't fit in his fantasy world and I wasn't party of his real world.
Well this is not who I thought my southern Gentleman was ..... but I was always fooling myself ..because if he was truly a gentelmen he wouldn't do this to me or his wife.
Please don't waste your life like I have mine. Run while you have your youth. We have to realize that there is someone out there that deserve's us and want's a real life.

I hope this helps someone.
I'm trying now to heal my heart and and my hip.


Robert Foo said...

Hi TR,

Thank you for reading this title. Joyce is still with her love, unseparately but sometimes they did quarrel over jealousy. I believe she would be reading your comment and hope she would take your advices. Thanks once again.

Anonymous said...

Well, the world has change, for better or worst I don't know.
I'm a guy just being dumped 2 weeks ago by my girlfriend who is in love a guy with a wife after 10 years of relationship.

Everyone that is self proclaim educated will tell you to think about yourself. Well, you can go on.. Do whatever you want. You can create suffering for others or you can keep your self suffering. It's a free world after all. Don't care what's the cause or implication just do it.

To be honest, I don't think a married man would want to divorce his wife. Unless the wife knows about it or the story is the other way round where the wife has an affair and she will be calling her marriage.

Women are more determine to do something for love but not man. Man is just for the pleasure and fun.

For Women, it's excitement without themselve knowning it. Ehem.. maybe married man a great in bed.

There's 2 way out, talk to the wife... But most likely you won't because you like her and you yourself know that he will back out of you if this affair is discovered.

Why do I say this? Cause have just encounter the experience.

You can say I'm bias, but think about it. What if he loves another women later? Divorce? Well that's the trend.. Go ahead.

Maybe you think I'm bias since I just being dump. Well, I'm still suffering from insomnia thanks to the affair who knows I can find a better women after that or become a womanizer. Lives will move on. Don't care whether his wife will end her life... Your life will still move on.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this. I recently fell in love with a married man of 5 years. I honestly do not intend to fall for him or destroy another's relationship. But it all happened so naturally.

I know he genuinely loves me. How we stared into each other's eyes at dinner, how he would stroke my hands as he held it at the movies, surprised me at the office with flowers, etc.

But deep inside, I can never be the one for him. He wouldn't leave his wife for me. Who am I to compare with the memories they have built over the years?

I just told him I will be busy this week. But it is to give myself a chance to date again. Although, this is really hard to do. Really hard, especially when all I can see now is him.

Robert Foo said...

Hi Anonymous 26 June,

Every successful man has a woman behind but it never says... Every successful man has a wife. So! Be the woman to him my dear.