False image of the young

Twenty five years ago I asked an old friend this question, "Chong, when you are truly rich and successful one day, what type of brand new Mercedes will you be buying." He replied, "If that day could happen, I won't be buying any new Mercedes but just any simple second hand car will do." I was surprised and could not understand his meaning at that time. I asked again, "Why? Please enlighten me?" Chong was patience and went further, "If I had made it to be successful, when I don't have to prove to any one else further, why should I need to have an expensive car then. It is now that I am not there yet, when I still need others to support me, I have to show to look successful. Perhaps I need the new car now."

Unfortunately at that time, I was still relatively young and could not accept his logic. However as I grew to be wiser, I fully agree with Chong's words and advices. Today I can see many young entrepreneurs, self employed personnel or salesperson who are driving expensive cars, I believe they are not really successful yet. Psychological they want others to think that they are, when they are not. They lack knowledge and the understanding of life. To replace their personal confident, they dress to look impressive externally. In fact this is a false image which they don't realise. Perhaps another younger mind could be taken but for an experience person, he should be able to see the truth.

A good expensive car is ideal but a mind with knowledge and wisdom is even more power. Chong's words were right, when you are truly successful and understand life, the external isn't important any more. Our sights are deceiving from the expensive surrounding but the mind and the heart are not.

I think is true,"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are art of life."

Bringing up a child.

Grace has been my client, since she started working as a young clerk 15 years ago. She was brought up by a firm and strong up bringing to make her a capable and independent woman. Not only she is efficient to assist her husband business, she still has time to take care of her son. According to her, most children are neglected by the present busy parents of today. Not Grace, cause she wants to make sure that her son of five, to be properly cared and groomed for the future.

Everyday without fail, she makes it a point to send her son to the nearby kinder garden. The time spend while fetching the boy, allows her to talk and understand with him. At times she might be busy in her office, she won't allow the son to be picked up by anyone except her. The way she explained, relates that she certainly enjoyed every moment with her son. I felt so guilty that I didn't do it when I was given those opportunity 30 years ago. However, Grace encouraged me that I should take my grand children as a next alternatives. Grace, I will try and thank you for reminding.

Although Grace is still relatively a young mother, she knows how to teach and guide the boy. She does not allow the present environment to suppress his child growing. Rather to let her boy idle unnecessary to play with Lego or Games Boy at home, she toughened her child to the natural surrounding. She claimed as a girl, she could climb trees and swim often. Whenever possible, she now sent her son to Jadak Baik for children camping. Or just going to their relative villages, to experience the climbing of trees, catching spiders and wandering into mother's nature. She always reminded her boy not to listen and trust strangers, when his family isn't around him. In case if he was lost in any shopping malls, he should be brave and seek help from the rightful authorities. At all times, the boy can remember his parents names and telephone numbers. In order to be convinced, Grace had tested her smart young son on such situations, when the mum and dad pretended to be out of sight from him. They were proud to know her boy responded and reacted well without mistakes. These are the effort and results of proper mothering.

Grave, I am so happy to have listened to your stories. I am sure your family would be well taken care, as long as you are the mother and wife to them. Soon you will be having another child as you are now pregnant, I wish you good luck and be always happy in whatever you intend to do.

Meaningful quote; "To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance." spoken by Siddhartha Gautama

Dogs lock with their bitches after ejaculation.

Dog is man's best friend, faithful and loyal. I add to them, all male dogs are caring to their bitches. Whenever they have sexual contacts, they lock themselves very closely to each other. Even after the males ejaculation, they are still tied and locked into the intimate position. Not like man, who immediately after ejaculation with their sexual partners, they usually leave the females. From a recent survey I read on man sexual behaviour, most men did not bother to caress or hold to their lovers after sex. Most likely, they stood up to smoke, had some drinks, walked around the room, took bath or rushed to go back to their wives. Few would be caring or passionate enough to hold on to their lovers even after their exciting ejaculation. Looks like dogs are better understanding lovers than us.

Perhaps dogs have natural instinct to appreciate, whenever they are treated nice. Not like us again who seldom appreciate what are given. Most of us are selfish or unless there are incentives to be offered, then we would take the effort to do it. Sad to say, although dogs are only animal with a much lower level of intelligent, they have better and stronger empathy of mind than man. We should be as faithful, loyal and good sexual mates like them.

Spoken by H. Jackson Brown, "Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more."

Cat's pleasurable pain

Are you aware that when cats mate, they yell in screaming pain? Many could be thinking that they are having a furious fight. The loud crying in the form of 'MeooooW!.... MeoooW!.... MeooooooW!' could be heard. In fact, this is the joyful pain of cat's mating. Many don't even know that the penis of male cat has torn facing backward. Imagine when they have sexual contact, the female suffers in extreme pain and yet she enjoys having it. The male cat gets even more excited hearing the heavy meooow meooow. Perhaps in life, we need pain to appreciate the pleasure in living. So the next time when we face any pains, don't complain but cry ourselves out. The sounding of a joyful cry can create and excite someone near. No pain no gain.

Spoken by Leslie Caron, "In order to have great happiness, you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know you're happy?"

Do u prefer one or more loves?

There is a saying, "For every successful man, there is a lady behind." The question is, what type of lady that can help man to be successful. From my experiences in life, most successful and powerful men, have different women to assist their goals and success in their lives journey.

Lets not go far and not quote name. In our land, Malaysia we have many self made billionaires who turned from rag to riches. There was a poor man from a little town who came to the city 30 years ago to seek for fortune. He started working as a salesman and later went into a small scale business. As he gathered strength and connected to the right parties, he became powerful and weathy. Today he has several public companies under his arm. He is well respected and hold a title of a Tan Sri in front of his name.

This successful man, has three ladies behind him. His first lady is his wife whom he married before he became rich. He considered this wife as his traditional spouse who gave him his legitimate sons. He only returned to this wife's home during festival and important functions.

The second wife's house is his permanent resident where he goes back to sleep every night without fail. However he treats this lady more like a best friend who always advises and offers encouragement. In fact, the second wife is the smartest of the three ladies. She is a thinker, adviser and motivator to the man.

The third wife is a lover who knows how to charm and tickle the stressful husband. Whenever Tan Sri is lonely or sexually excited, his personal driver drives him to this romantic wife during the afternoon hideout. He might be an arrogant and hot temper business person, but each time when he visits his sexy third wife's home, she could turn him blissfully and contented in manner.

Perhaps the saying, "For every successful man, there is a lady" might not be practical after all to every man. Cause the one lady could not shoulder such heavy tasks as to be a perfect wife, friend and lover to an aggressive and ambitious man. For those men who are satisfied to have one woman who can play the role of the three parts, I think they are considered as very lucky and blessed in all ways. I wish they should love her more then.

Spoken by Bernard Meltzer,"Success is getting and achieving what you want. Happiness is wanting and being content what you get."

Not just a wife but a best friend & lover too.

Alvin and Fionne are one couple I admire so much. They started as friends and later became best friends. From best friends they turned lovers. One day, Alvin proposed to marry Fionne who accepted without hesitation. Today, the husband and wife team is happily married with the man as successful in business and the wife is so loving as a full time housewife. I have known them for more than 35years since attended their wedding also at the same time. Knowing and understanding their beautiful relationship, allows me to write some meaningful facts of life here.

Most women who got marry after many years, tend to forget their roles as partner to their males. They remain as wives to be responsible to the families. They cook, wash and take care of household chores. They care and raise their children. Some even have to look after their parent-in-laws as their own parents. Fionne is not only a good house wife but she remains as a best friend and also a lover to Alvin. As a best friend to him, she listens with admiration all the spoken words. When Alvin is down at times, Fionne would be there to console or even offer encouragement. They can both talk endlessly without loosing interest, cause one is a talker and the other is a good listener. Not forgetting they are still considered as best friends. The beautiful part of them is, they behave as lovers as well. Fionne has not forgotten her role as a lover who always romances with Alvin. They hold hands whenever they are out. She dates Alvin as her boy friend. The hugging and kissing are a daily affair, which most friends would envy about. She would address him as darling and in turn he would call her as my dear. Alvin is certainly a contented man, because not only he has a responsible and caring wife, he also has a faithful and a best friend cum a romantic lover to always stands beside him. No wonder he can be so successful in life. The super energy he gains from this lady, can move him to conquer even the toughest territories on earth.

Equally most men who had married for a long time, tend to forget their roles with their female partners too. As husbands, they work hard and be providers to their families. Almost all household chores are given to the wives or perhaps maids are there to assist. Alvin is a good husband but he has not forgotten he is also the best friend to Fionne. Ever since he has known her, endlessly he gives his unconditional assistance and advices to her. His stories and sharing excites her. His knowledge and wisdom amuses the listening lady. His sincere love remains. He still courts her like a lover. His warm and abundant love, tickles her to the utmost. Until she surrenders whole heartily without regret to this man.

The morale of this story; For a man to do well in life, he needs a woman who can play the role of a wife, a friend and a lover. For a lady to be cheerful in life, she needs also a man who can be husband, friend and lover too. The combination of spouse, friend and lover relationship can sail the lives journey forever happily and successfully.

A funny quote,"Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man but behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man."

We look better when in love.

Love has its miracle magic. We have to see to believe. Man who is in love has better enthusiasm in life than another man who hasn't. The lady who loves him, energizes his entire self. Beyond his imagination, his performance and spirit work wander. Everyday is a marvellous day to him. The ticklish thought of her love moves him further. He smiles every moment of his day. His eyes would be bright and his look is too willing to comprehend with everyone he encounters.

The woman who is in love, is equally charming and attractive. Her face always looks sweeter and her skin is smoother and shining. Her eyes are not dull but rather full of energy. She is more sexier and more tempting in personality. She has more drive in life and her character is more natural. Those who meet up with her, could feel her friendliness and warm. She walks tall with elegant. Her firmer bosoms offer her the feminine confident that all eyes would envy.

In Chinese we have the Ying & Yang when the man meets the woman. The combination of these two energies create a powerful strength which can benefit the couple who is truly in love. By the Ying itself or the Yang alone, they are weaker and less active in lives. If you see a man who is not willing to strive in life or a woman who hasn't the sexual desire in appearance, most likely they have no intimate love in them.

Meaning of ABCDEFG, "A boy can do everything for girl." The other opposite meaning of GFEDCBA is, "Girls forgot everything done & catches new boy again."

Talking is my hobby.

I am sure everyone has hobbies, cause hobbies make us happy. Some like gardening, travelling, reading or even playing golf. Of all the various hobbies, I have found 'talking' as my best hobby in life. I don't just talk for the sake of talking but I talk with passion and excitement. Through the many years of talking, I have developed the true art of talking as a hobby. Not like other hobbies or interests, which require tools or funding, talking is free. Just that you need to have a strong desire to talk to someones who are prepared to listen. In order to capture and arouse the interest of listeners, a good talker has the skill to excite and humour his friends. I can make them laugh with joy or move them with emotion. I can talk spiritual to those who are religiously inclined or talk about the cheekiness for those who are naughty in behaviour. Every individual has different character, a good talker knows his listeners interest and liking.

Besides talking to one or few people, I had spoken to the thousand on stage. The more I continue with this interesting hobby, the more I gather extra knowledge and ideas. Talking can be considered as a hobby, if one is prepared to share and contribute willingly. Through my course of work, I had offered myself to those who would invite me to talk and share my experiences in life. I love doing it because I would be very happy when I could see my sharing benefits those who listen. My belief in life, "Happiness is to see others happy because of ourselves." Why wait for happiness to come, when I could reach and touch others to get their happiness.

Trust me, my talk can make you laugh or cry. You would never regret hearing my wonderful sharing, cause all the words are specially spoken from the heart. My hobby would never be possible, if there are no listeners. I open to my readers who would be brave enough to invite me to a sharing talk at your places. I can be contacted at robertfootenwah@gmail.com.

Spoken by Norman MacEwan,"Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Do u know why he isn't buying?

From my selling experience, I learnt that most people don't buy, not because they don't like buying but rather they could not afford to buy. Everything that is all sale has certain values and purposes which might be attractive to our sight or useful to ourselves. Nevertheless when the values exceeded our financial means, the mind would spontaneously deter the desire to buy. Most of the time, when people don't buy, they seldom like to reveal the truth. Especially not telling that they don't have money or cannot afford to purchase. Rather they would be telling other untruthful reasons. Examples; colour is not suitable, size is small, quality, comparing, let decide later or refer to my family first. Meaning, they can be telling plenty of reasons but not the one real reason, "I have no money!"

I believe our self esteem and personal pride lead us to react by this pattern of thought. Most people do not like others to know that they are poor or financially weak. They dress richly from the outside but poor in their purse. Don't laugh here, because it might also be applicable to you as well. The next time around when you go for your window shopping, see whether you would tell the truth yourself to the sale person when you don't buy.

However a good salesperson can detect this false response, through the prospect's facial expression, tone velocity and words veracity. Instead of loosing those prospects permanently, an experience salesperson helps to overcome their problems by suggesting next alternatives. Knowing the exact reason would be better than knowing the wrong reasons. If you are a salesperson who can reach this level of understanding with your prospects, selling would be much easier and happier.

Conclusion; "don't just takes the words from the mouth, listen and understand his thoughts too."

Love takes the worst and the best.

There was a day my son came home after a badminton game, when we noticed he was wet with sweat all over his body. His body odour smelled heavily and we were complaining. Not his girl friend who had waited for his return. Instead she still hugged him passionately plus a tight kiss was given. Straight away, I knew this girl really loved my son whole heartily. When you love someone truthfully, you accept the good and the bad as well. The good part of him, she would adore and appreciate. Others might not be happy with his bad points but the one who loves him, could overlook the weaknesses. His odour might be unacceptable but to her, she could not even smell the different. Love has the magic. I am pretty sure, this lady would love this man for the worst and for the best till death.

So! If you want to know whether your mates love you truthfully, don't just let him or her to smell the best of your cologne and perfume but let your natural body odour to decide. You would be surprised that the true colour surfaces eventually.

Spoken by Arthur Rubinstein,"Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don't set any condition." I think including love too.

Is your mate telling the truth?

Not all verbal replies are truthful. A 'Yes!' might not be a real yes or a 'No!' could be a yes. If you were to take a bit of time to experience the psychological way of life, you be amazed that most people don't tell the truth.

Ask your mate, "Do you love me?" The reply can be a yes. Is that yes meant to be a no or not sure or love you madly. If you want to know the real answer to it, don't just take the word but be attentive to listen deeper to the pitch, veracity and tone of the reply.

Meaning; if the reply of the yes is shallow, dull and softly spoken, I am sorry your mate does not love you. Rather to say a no to hurt you, a reluctant yes could still be a consolation. The second level of this Yes, is the middle tone kind. Not dull but neither has the energy either. It tells that your mate isn't sure but at least you do have a bit of opportunity to go further. The third level is a affirmative yes which spoken loud, distinctive, clear and full of enthusiasm. You rest assure, your mate is crazy with you. This is another simple facts of life.

So if you do want to test your lovers or spouses whether they sincerely love you, why not check it yourself now. Listen to their pitch, veracity and tone. Feel and sense their expression of words. Good luck to all of you who read my blog.

Quote of the day,"We may recover from slip of the foot but a slip of the tongue leaves a deep imprint."

Negative & positive have their effects.

When Alan started his factory years back, he had to work alone till the late night before he could go home. One day the watchman, Muthu informed his boss that he saw two ghosts almost every night. They were standing in front of their factory. Their bodies were in white and their heads could not been seen. Alan is a brave man who doesn't believe such existence, insisted to see for himself as well. For two nights at about mid night, he was standing together with Muthu at the front of their factory to witness the ghostly present. Out of frustration, there was nothing happening, except the quietness of the early morning could be felt. Alan was furious towards his watchman. He warned him not to spread unnecessary stories or disturbing words.

Nonetheless, the negative thoughts and words were to great to be controlled. Soon the entire work force of mainly the foreign workers were aware of this fearful present. With a simple mind, they tend to believe, although they had not seen any ghost. It became so critical when all the workers refused to work for the night shifts. Of course, Alan, the boss was very upset but the boycott of refusal to work was difficult to overrule. Finally he had to approach his watchman for a solution to overcome this problem. Muthu together with his friends, they build a tokong or a datuk house besides his sentry room, with a strong belief that it could provide protection to those who work inside this factory. Surprisingly with another so called positive energy created from this tokong, the confident level of the work force returned. They were not afraid to work in the late night shift again.

Moral of this true story; Negative force turns fear and worrisome. Positive energy reflexes confident and braveness. If our words are negatively spoken, most simple minded person could be easily influenced to act and behave wrongly. Whereas if spoken positively, any person would react well and good.

My Belief,"If you look for good, you'll find good. If you look for bad, you'll find bad. In life, you always find what you look for. Only thing that matters is...what you choose to see."

Wrong attitude in work.

The Malaysian attitude of life and at work are alarming. We claimed the slogan of 'Malaysian Boleh!' but most of the time are the reverse way. We tend to take the easy way out of every thing we do. Just recently I called the main office of a prestigious international motor car company for some assistance, regarding my car that I had bought from them. The operator connected me to a young man who so called worked as a support staff. I explained my problem which he could not understand. Instead of taking some initiatives to enquire from his colleagues or his superiors, this man told me the person who in charge wasn't around. He asked for my number and promised to return my call later of the day. Three days had passed and I still have not received any call from this company. It was easy to drop me off but he didn't realise he had caused a very bad image and reputation on his employer.

This is nothing again because it happened in almost all companies that provide customer's support. The next worrisome is those who have the brains and calibre. Instead of putting all their energies into their careers or work, they are finding the next alternatives to make quick money without working physically. I have some friends who are professionals as doctor and engineer are now trading in future market at home. They had lost interest in working. They claimed that the return of income from their jobs were too little to justify their effort. With their new found venture trading in the comfort of their home, they are making much better money.

Even those who are non professionals are also being influenced to take a step further. Look at the amount of direct selling companies which have mushroomed in town. You practically have all types of products, ranging from health food to cyper fund investment. Every distributor or agent is promised the glamour of living and unlimited income. Just bring in a few friends and your future would be secured. As their minds are so gullible, they are prepared to leave a secured paid job for this challenge. It was only quite recently, the Securities Commission had blocked various unlicensed internet sites on cyper fund dealing. I can't imagine how many thousand investors had lost and how many witty agents had made in such unpractical way of working.

The moral of the story, there is no easy way of life if we don't put in our effort. For our nation to grow and be full developed, all of us have to work toward it with the right attitude. We need the young and the experience to work hand in hand.

Interesting Quote from Martin Luther King Jr.,"Life's most urgent question; what are you doing for others?"

Do the things you like and you would do it well.

Mahjong is a most favorite game for the typical Chinese. My home all the ladies love playing mahjong as a past time but not me. As I think it is a waste of time cracking our mind over a handful of plastic tiles for entertainment and light gambling between relatives.

The last three days, we had two ladies relative visited our home. One was the mother of 86 years, who looked weak and soft spoken. She seemed dull and lonely. Came the night, when the mahjong table was set, all the ladies were excited. The first invited player was this old lady who never failed to stop playing. They started the game at nine in the evening. The next morning when I got up, I was told all of them together with the old one ended the session until the morning at six. Not only they were playing one night, the next evening they started the session again. From their playing I could see and observe, they were really happy and laughing whenever they strike a good game. What really amused me was, they never complained of tire or sleepy. Instead they were at peak energy with full of enthusiasm in their look. Even the old lady who was supposed to be weak when she first came, was smiling with laughter and joy.

The moral of the above event is; when you do things you love, you would never be tired. Search your own interest in life and similarly you would enjoy doing things you like too. I love blogging and writing all the facts of life that I had encountered. To the many, they think that it is impossible to write every day with new ideas. But to the one like me who have the interest and love to share, ideas would just naturally flow with my thought whenever I blog at this site. My next hobby is talking when others would be playing golf or doing something. I love talking so much and that is why I could be selling for the past 40years. Selling needs talking and when you don't like to talk, selling would be tough. The bottom line is, do the things you like and love, and you would do them well. Simple as that!

Spoken by George Bernanos,"To be able to find joy in another joy, that is the secret of happiness."

Penny wise pound foolish

In our lives, as long as we are living, we have to pay many household bills. These are the following expenses we have to shoulder on the month to month basis;

1. Rental or house loan instalment

2. Utilities bills

3. Groceries

4. Quit rent and Assessment bill

5. Car instalment

6. Petrol and car maintenance

7. Income tax advances

8. Children education

9. Parents care

10. Life insurance premium.

Whether we like them or not, if you are a responsible person, you definitely have to pay. If you don't believe, try not to pay your rental or your house instalments for more than 3 months. Subsequently you would be instructed to leave your house immediately. You could have paid your car very promptly for many months, but the minute you skip three months, your car would be repossessed instantly. Same to the quit rent and assessment for the government, you have to pay on time when they are due. No mercy from the institutions where your children are studying either. They need you to pay in advance as long as your children are with them.

Just imagine what happen, if something when wrong, like you are critically sick or permanently disabled or death occurred. All the above bills from one to nine, you still have to continue paying.

Non of the people you have deal with, would be so kind to allow you to waive all the bills away.

However there is only one bill that can waive all future payments, if these unkind eventualities happened. This is the life insurance premium which immediately ceases. Alternatively it replaces and helps to continue to pay all your existing bills without hindrance. This is a wonderful bill but yet most people are still scared to consider. Are we, "Penny wise Pound foolish."

Never be shameful of what you don't have!

I had a chance to meet up with a busy client, Alan last Saturday. Alan is only 43 and he is a very successful manufacturer and exporter of office furniture. Although his main office is in Kuala Lumpur, he has network distribution all over the world. I have known him for more than 20years. About 25 years ago, he started only as a young salesman selling furniture by day and manning a pasar malam store in the night. Later with some borrowing, he started selling home furniture in an unused old warehouse. From retailing he ventured in manufacturing. Today he has factories in Malaysia and China. With his feat of achievement, he remains humble and not shameful to admit that he barely finished his form 3 education.

During our interesting conversation, he related his past and difficult time at the beginning of his life as husband and in business. Before he got marry to his wife then, she was prepared to work along with this man. During the day she worked with someone and in the evening she helped to man his pasar malam store. Instead of dating in park or movie, they had their early romance in work places only. At the beginning of their courtship, Alan's parents were not agreeable to his girl friend. Without his parents consent, he married her through the civil marriage by law. Later when his retail business was expanding, the lady requested him to marry her with a proper Chinese Customary wedding. He was debating with her not to waste any extra expenses coz after all she was already his legal wife then. However as typical Chinese woman, she insisted as getting marry is once in a life time, this customary wedding had to proceed. During the arrangement, she proposed that a borrowed or rented Mercedes bride's car was to be used. As Alan was a man of principle, he raised his voice loud, "Do you marry me or you want to marry a branded car on such a day. I have only an old secondhand Toyota LE and I would be driving it as my bride's car to fetch you on that day!" Although his wife wasn't happy at that moment, he explained, "Why should we need to show others the Mercedes when that car doesn't belong to us? I would still be proud of my Toyota coz it belongs to me. I would only drive a Mercedes when one day I truly could own one."

Yes! He was right! Today, Alan drives his whole family with his brand new Mercedes to work and to school for their children. There might be many who got marry with rented or borrowed Mercedes for status purposes, but at the end of their lives, they might still not able to do well in life to sit and own one for themselves. From Alan, I have learned, "Be proud and have confident of what you are. Never be shameful of what you don't have. Always stick to your own principle in life."

Thank you Alan, for sharing that part of your lives to us. I am proud to have been your friend.

Love is blind

Believe it, "Love is blind." The most incompatible couples got marry recently. The first is Bao Xishun, 56, a 2.36m herdsman listed by Guinness World records as the tallest living man married to his bride, Xia Shujuan, 29, of 1.68m. In term of age and height different, they have to live with it. Bao must be a sweet talker to convince her bride. The second is a British grandma, Jane Felix-Browne, aged 51 married one of the sons of al-Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden. Her husband is 27 years old Omar bin Laden. She must be a brave white lady to marry a fearful name of Laden who can be her son instead.

What matter most is these wedded couples love each other. No barrier of age, race, nationality, religion and height can deter their differences. As long as there are true loves, miracle would happen. I wish them happiness and love be with them forever.

Love Quote, "Love is not finding the right person. But creating the right relationship. It's not how much love we have in the beginning. But how much love we build until the end."

Are our youths spoiled and pampered?

Most Malaysian, especially the younger generation is lazy. They drive more than they walk. They prefer the air con than the warm of the outside. They hardly sweat and exercise. They eat more junk food than home cooked food. They have lousy manner and irresponsible. They want easy job with high salaries but with rotten qualifications and little experiences. With these attitudes and characters, how could we be able to compete with our neighbouring countries.

Look at the Chinese in China where they are prepared to work the peak and pay the least, and yet they don't complain. Their population is at 1.2 billion and if they had only 1% to be super smart and intelligent, they could have almost exceeded our population of only 26million. Not forgetting the Vietnamese is equally enterprising and willing to work hard. At this rate our youngsters are moving, I think one day, they have to be working for the Chinese or the Vietnamese rather than the foreigners be here working for us.

What I am writing is true facts of life coz I have two sons who are currently working in Shanghai and one in Hong Kong. Although many years back when they had graduated from London, they returned home to Malaysia to work. Sad to say, environment and circumstances have changed, when they feel that the opportunity is greater over in China now, where they have to seek their future there. Nonetheless by working in a different country, my both sons have changed tremendously their attitude and character. Today they ride on buses and trains more than they drive. Although they still have little time to exercise but they walk more than ever in their lives. By the constant walking and sweating, they have reduced at least 15 lbs each within the past 6months of their stay there. They have learned to be independence and responsible in their lives. They cook themselves more than eating outside. They learned to be thrifty rather than a spender. I know lives over there isn't easy when they have to face hardship and uncertainties. No parents would love to see their children suffer in any way. However with the thought that they are going to learn and understand life better, the suffering and hardship are worth living by.

Can't totally blame our young because we as parents are the causes of their wrongs. If we could have be more firm and serious with their up bringing, they would not have been these spoiled and pampered. These are the causes and effects of life. Unless we the parents admit our wrongs first, the youth would not have a chance to improve and correct themselves. With a saying, "Forgive and forget. Lets start a new again."

You don't like but actually you like.

There was an old friend whom I had not seen for many years. Through my secretary emails, I got his email address and started to communicate with him. I put him under my group listing and sent all forwarded mails to him, the good and the naughty one as well. I forgotten he was quite a religious old man. Yesterday my secretary spoke to me, "Boss your friend was so surprised that you had send him so many naughty mails. He was reading them in the office and he thought it might not be good for him." I replied. "Oh! gosh! I forgotten. Was he angry?" Smilingly she said, "No! In fact, the whole office are reading them as well now. They find that your mails are even more interesting than their normal uninteresting good mails. He wants you to send more of these stuffs."

Life is very funny! Most of the time, people would pretend to be good in behaviour. They talk with seriousness and spiritually inclined. The minute you utter a word of bad, all eyes would be on you. However deep down their souls, they would also like to feel the naughtiness of themselves at times. Just that, most people are not brave to show their inner feeling.

I had spoken many occasions as platform speaker. Non of my sessions and sharing would be interesting, if naughtiness of words and humour of sex were not added. The guy would have fallen asleep but the one word of SEX is spoken aloud, his soul and mind would instantly be drawn back.

I have a perfect personality of a gentleman who shows kindness and care. Nonetheless without the naughtiness and humour of my words, I would not be able to market my true self. Depicting goodness isn't enough because good by itself reflexes seriousness and firmness which might not be too comfortable to those who interact with me. By adding the naughtiness which everybody actually likes, softens the firmness of my approaches. It sounds absurd and unpleasant but these are again the facts of life one have to experience to believe.

"I believe it to be perfectly possible for an individual to adopt the way of life of the future - without having to wait for others to do so." Spoken by Mahatma Gandhi

I provide peace of mind with life insurance.

During a short discussion with some fellow younger insurance agents, few interesting questions were thrown to me. How come I don't get tired after selling for these long a period? Where do I get my energy and enthusiasm to continue? What are the reasons that clients remain so faithful to you?

I told them the different of myself and them is, they sell insurance as a product, whereas I don't sell insurance but provide peace of mind instead. As a product, they have to debate on pricing, competitiveness, benefit features, company profiles and services. If their premium are too expensive, their prospects would not be interested in the plans. If the returns are not competitive, then they lose to another competitor. Prospects would compare their plan benefits and insist on their back up services. On top of it, prospects may even ask for a discount from them after all the hard work.

On the hand, I don't sell insurance but rather preach a religion of lives and love. Every individual thinks and behaves differently. They have dreams and desires to fulfill. Some could be sad not knowing what to expect in life. Or some could be very ambitious but not knowing the right direction to pursuit their purposes. They have the old to care and the young to love. They could see the present but they could not visualize the future. They have the knowledge but not the full understanding of life. They don't need a sale person but rather a friend who could enlighten them with wisdom of thoughts. I provide the solution with a peace of mind with life insurance to them. Their hopes and my promises, kept me going with energy. My inspiration and encouragement, not only kept them as just clients, but rather as true friends. My selling isn't a job but is more like a hobby which I have fun and excitement. That is the different of me!

Selling life insurance is the understanding of LIFE. Is a pity that most insurance agents do not see it that way. They would rather sell by a number game. Meaning, the more prospects you see, the chances would be better for them. Unless they could change to understand more about lives and living, selling insurance is definitely a very competitive career.

My belief, "Be the change: At the end of each day, take a few minutes to be silent and grateful to get the peace of mind."

Man always like women

I believe male temptation on sex is greater than female. Over a friendly discussion , these questions were brought out. If two elderly women of 70 years of age were to share a single room with a young man of 20, all parties would sleep well without distraction for the night. Comparing to two elderly men of 70 years to share a single room with a young lady of 20, they would feel uncomfortable and be disturbed over the same night.

I asked a lady friend, "How come the young man could sleep so well with the old ladies?" Lady replied, "The old aunties could be trusted." I responded, "Why not the young girl with the old uncles?" She smiled and said, "Old uncles could not be trusted. They still have the desire for sex."

To the man, we would always need to have woman till death. To the woman, with or without man, they could still live by themselves. More so when they are a little older. The funny of life, the world always has more female than male. Otherwise, there would not be enough of women for man. Accept it or not, these are all facts of life we have to live with.

A little joke from afar. "75 years old man got married to a 15 years girl. On their first night both were crying. Why?? Coz she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything."

Yes or No can be harmful.

If friends were to borrow money from you, would you lend to them? I have been pondering whether it should be a yes or a no!

During the course of my work, I had been asked by many to render some financial assistance. I had lent money to friends from as little of RM100 to as many of thousand ringgits. Regret to say, they seldom came back to repay but instead I lost them as friends permanently. Is always good to help and assist but I learned to help by lending, it causes more harm than good.

Most of the time when those who came to relate their problems are mainly financial problem. Even they had solved their problems later, they took for granted that this friendly loan need not be repaid. Or those who could not solved their constraint, would also be too shy to come back to explain. At the end, all these friends disappeared to be no friend. Finally, for those whom I didn't lend in the first place, would also turn to be no friend as well.

This was what happened recently to me. A good friend, a so called as brother went missing for 20 years. I had lent some money to him 20 years ago for starting his business venture. For some reasons unknown to me, he disappeared and not to be heard, until I met him recently over a mutual friend's funeral. We were so happy to meet then, when he claimed that he could still remember my support. His children are already married but he no longer work or in business. He cried to tell me that he isn't healthy because he had just done a bypass recently. Listening his sorrow, I didn't utter a word of repayment to him but kept consoling his spirit.

Surprisingly a week later, he called again to ask for another favour. Requesting me to lend money to him for all his medical expenses. I didn't say a word but was patience to listen. Almost every day, he would text me to remind me that he was desperate for assistance from me. I was angry and annoyed with his approach but I was afraid to hurt his emotion because of his ill health.

Finally with gut felt feeling, I made up my mind by sending a text message to him. It was worded,"Brother, I felt so sorrowful with your present condition. I believe everyone has problem as long as we live. Some would like to reveal. Some do not. Even myself have problems. The only help I can render to you is my moral support and my prayer for you. I am sorry." Subsequently there was no further contact from him. I wonder whether he still treat me as friend.

I really would not know whether I had done the right or wrong. The facts of life are sometimes complicated and confusing. To say yes, you would lose a friend and to say no, you would also lose another friend. Perhaps I open to my readers who may offer some favourable comments.

A funny quote, "The more you know, the more you know that you do not know."

Selling turns stressful if don't enjoy it.

Recently I spoke to a lady insurance agent who seemed down and beaten by her work. I asked her, "My dear, why are you so unhappy with your work?" She replied, "I am tired to pretend to be happy while working. I have to give a false smile to all my prospects and clients. I have to behave loving and caring to them and that's not me in nature."

I am so sadden by her explanation. In actual fact, selling insurance requires patience, understanding, warm, tolerance and plenty of love with care and concern. This lady was falsely brought into this career by promise of glamour and potential to earn high income. At the beginning of her career she was taught to use her feminine charm and attraction to sell. Many male prospects would easily fall for her prey. She was trained to sell by pressurising and seducing with who ever she met. She was motivated by challenges and incentives which were useful when she was a rookie agent. However after working for two years, she realised that the above way of approaches were unprofessional when most clients would no longer buy. Subsequently she tried to adopt the friendly way by smiling and caring which was never her character. Instead of enjoying her work as fun, her new unnatural personality turned stressful to her mind. As her sale was dropping and lesser prospects were willing to see her, she developed anxiety and frustration in her now.

Nonetheless I really felt pity for her. I believe most agents are usually trapped by this process of recruitment, training and selling for the benefit of those witty and unscrupulous managers who think of short term gain only. Selling insurance is not meant for everyone. It is only for those who have the true heart to care for the benefits and interest of our clients. In any career, if you do really understand and like your work, your work would never be a chore but rather it would be a joy. Including selling insurance because we are here to serve and not to be served.

My belief,"Happiness is doing the things you like and be honest about it."

Are we losing virginity earlier?

I was reading these information when I had some doubts. Quoted in the recent news, people in Asian countries lose their virginity at a much older age than those in the West, according to a worldwide study of sexual behaviour and contraceptive use.

On average, age for first having sex was 19.25, according to the study "The Global Face of Sex", compiled by Durex Network, the social marketing arm of SSL International, which manufactures Durex condoms.

Malaysians were the oldest to lost their virginity at 23.0 years old, followed by Indians (22.9), Singaporeans (22.8), Chinese (22.1), Thais (20.5), Hong Kongers (20.2), Nigerians (19.7) and Japanese (19.4).

Austrians were the first to lose their virginity at 17.3 years old, followed by Brazilians (17.4), Germans (17.6), New Zealanders (17.8), Australians (17.9) and Americans (18.0).

But despite waiting longer, Malaysians came top among those who said they were the most ready for sex (41.5%), followed by the Dutch, Greeks, Americans and Australians.

My personal doubts are; Are the Malaysian ourselves truthful or be brave to admit? Had they selected the right candidates for such sensitive survey?

Were they aware that we have young teenagers, as young as 14, still in their junior secondary schools, already playing a game of sex. Among the boys, they wound take challenges to bet who would be the winner of the month. The winner would be the one who could have sex with the most number of sex partners. To them, their games are fun, entertainment, ego and rewards. I wonder, whether Durex Network had included these young winners in their international survey. If not, perhaps they had deprived our Malaysians as being the actual true winner then.

My observation, "In words we say we don't like sex but in heart we love sex so much!"

Daughters are better than sons.

Most Asian love sons more than daughters. Perhaps things have changed now. Most sons of today are playful, irresponsible and not as caring as daughters.

I had a Ceylonese friend who was so proud to have four sons at the beginning. Ceylonese are very particular with sons because when they get marry, boys would be receiving dowries from the brides. More so, if the sons are of higher status and are qualified professionals, they do receive much higher dowries and gifts. My friends sons are all doctors and when they got married, all were handsomely rewarded with gifts beyond our guesses. How I wish to be born as them!

A couple of years ago, my friend passed away. Before he left, I visited him at the hospital where I could see the only person who accompanied him then was his dear wife. Sorrowfully with a dying words the old man said, "How I wish my four sons are not sons but daughters. I would be much a happier man now."

Later from the wife, I got to know that at this moment of time, the dying father needed was love and caring. The sons had the thought for their father but they did not have the time to care for him. Their work and career had taken too much away their time to be with the father. They could send him to the best hospital and medical care but what the father wanted was the touch and words from them which they had overlooked.

Man is man! They can have the self esteem and courage to face the challenges of the world but they do not have the soft touched and care like a woman. The sons could be successful in career but to a dying father, what matter most to him at the last breath of lives was to see and feel the physical moment with their children. Could not blame him for changing his mind as to say, "How I wish to have four daughters instead of four sons."

If you have sons and no daughter, please be aware that circumstances have changed. Today daughters are more acceptable and loving than sons. If is not too late, perhaps you better try to make one now.

Agnes Repplier quote, "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."

070707 sounds like OHeavenOHeavenOHeaven!

At the stroke of twelve mid night later of today, the date would turn 070707 or the 7th July 2007. On this 070707, I believe it is a very significant day to remember. The number SEVEN has always been related to HEAVEN in figurative term and memory. 070707 can be written as 'OHeavenOHeavenOHeaven which sounded very spiritual and holy. It is a heavenly day of luck, peace and love. Those who meet for business, would get fruitful result. Those who have misunderstanding and are prepared to meet tomorrow, would be forgiven and be better friends. Those who seek love, the man and woman who meet would be more loving and caring to each other.

Although I try to do things right on my day to day life, reaching and touching lives during these many years, perhaps I would have unintentionally hurt or offended some one without even realising and knowing. I know nobody in this world could be prefect, including myself. I take this opportunity of this meaningful day 070707, the almighty OHeavenOHeavenOHeaven, to ask for forgiveness from those I might have hurt or offended. I like to say, "I am really sorry! Please forgive me in whatever I had done wrong."

Because, "To err is humane and to forgive is divine."

Mother's food draws the attention.

Time has really changed when I remembered all girls had to learn how to cook and take care of household chores. My two sisters were taught to learn the simple tasks at home before they even went to school. There were no maid then but my mother together with my sisters helped to take care of the home. At times when our mum was away, she rest assured that both daughters would be capable to cook for the entire family. Although my sisters didn't complete a full basic education, both of them were married to be good housewives.

With the giving of equal rights between girls and boys, today women are much educated than before. I believe they are much smarter and worked harder, most women are also given better opportunity to excel in the working world. However the saddest things are, they are the least knowledgeable in household management. The higher their academical qualifications or employment status, the weaker their knowledge in home affair. It won't be surprised that the basic chores, like cooking and washing are difficult for them. I have three daughter-in-laws who are all professionals in their own careers, beautiful and intelligent but they do not know how to cook a decent meal. Can't blame them because their parents had never taught them to cook when they were children. They were told to concentrate on their studies and the rest of the household work would be taken care by the mothers.

My wife might not be working like her daughter-in-laws who earn well in the working world, but she draws a lot of attention and admiration because she is a super cook. Wherever her sons and their wives are, they would never forget her, as her mother's food is incomparable to any food available outside. I might be the master of the house, but today I can't draw such attention like her. She knows the taste and food of her entire family. She cooks with love and devotion. She cooks for the satisfaction to those she knows and she loves. She is proud just to be a housewife and the mother for her family. She is the housewife of the past, when many of today's women would find difficult to follow. Perhaps it would come a day when true mother's food is no longer available.

My belief,"The present and future are important but don't forget the past."

Buy insurance from a competence agent.

Most of the time when those who have intention to buy life insurance, they prefer to compare products, prices and companies rather than identifying a good professional agent to deal with.

My 40 years of selling, would tell you comparing products and prices are the worst decision to be made. The minute any salesperson knows you are comparing rather than allowing him to recommend, he would be smart enough to tailor a program to counter his competitors. In do so, the plan may not suit you but rather for the purpose to compete. All sale agents would certainly want to secure sale but by honestly planning according to the prospects needs, his plan may look expensive and unattractive. In order to be impressive, unethically agents would create plans to compete. They would cut corner and add unnecessary features which may not benefit the clients in the long run. After all, how many consumers really understand and be truly knowledgeable in life insurance. So! At the end wrong plans are purchased without being noticed.

My friendly advises are to deal with professional agents. Check to see whether the agents are operating full time or part time. Evaluate and assess his seriousness, commitment, competence, responsibility and character. Once you can identify his true personality and are comfortable with him, I recommend that you should allow him to plan according to your needs and affordability. By doing so, you rest assure the agent would do a better job as he knows your trust and confidence are given to him.

I strongly believe the above dealings are applicable in all types of buying, purchases or even services. Pick the person you like to deal with and allow him to assist you sincerely. Don't ever let him knows that you are there to compare, for the loser would still be you. This is another true facts of life, which you thought you are smart but in fact you are not.

To those who sell for a living,"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Earn To sell with good faith and trust.

During one of my recent insurance review with a client, I proposed a new plan to him. As I was about to explain the program, he said, "Robert, tell me, is this the most ideal and needed plan for me at the moment. If it's a yes, which can serve me and my family, you don't need to explain. Because I trust, you would know what are required by us and we have good faith on you that you would do it sincerely."

I was so touched with his statement when I replied, "Thank you for that trust given. Don't you even want to understand how the benefits and program work?" He smiled and said, "My responsibility is to pay the premium and you are to be responsible to our needs and protection. Please don't let me understand the technical part. With your years of experience, we believe you are the expert on your profession."

With those words and appreciation, I was indeed over-joyed and felt honour to serve with pride.

Is nice, if you were to be accepted as a true professional in your own trade. You could be able to serve the best of your own knowledge and ability to your clients. You give the best of what are available without the thought of comparing and competing with your competitors. The final result, the most suitable and ideal plan with the right premium could be offered. Good faith and trust are developed within the relationship of agent and clients.

"Good faith and trust are not easily given but we have to earn for them."

Add love to our work

Whatever we do, if we do it with love, we rest assure we could do it well. Even making a cup of tea or coffee. I will never have a better cup of tea than the one make by my wife or our maid coz it is always added with some potion of love. Meaning, the tea is prepared with extra effort and attention which I will never get from the outside.

Sometimes I being asked, "How could I be able to sell for so long in this career, when most would have dropped out?" I replied, "I am not smart but I have my true heart to offer my clients that matters." I continued, "Prudential, my company offers its products but I added them with love and passion to make them irresistible to buy from me. Without love, our products would be the least saleable."

In any job or business, if we could applied the same principle, our work would be easier to manage. However the sad thing in life, is most people want the easiest and fastest ways to achieve success. Putting the effort and attention are not enough but working whole heartily with love makes the huge different.

This quote on happiness by Francoise de Motteville; "The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure."

Punishments In Hell

Joke provided by a young friend...

Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment.
First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire.
The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blondie.
The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room.
The devil walks into the room taps the blondie on the shoulder and says "okay, you can stop now. You've been relieved".

Moral of this joke; "Don't judge a book by its cover."