Monday, July 28, 2008

My girlfriend is pregnant.

In the course of my work, I encountered this situation lately. Hong is a young college student who is only 18. His parents are my clients but just that a couple of years back, his dad divorced his mum for another woman. Although Hong stays with his mother, she comes home late because she too has to work. The father would come back once in awhile to see his son. Hong was happy until recently when he called to seek my advice. He is in love with another college mate for quite sometimes. Unexpectedly his girl friend is pregnant for three months. They are very worried, tense and do not know what to do. Both families are unaware of this relationship. They claimed their parents would be angry and upset, if they were to be told. Currently both have very little saving to solve the unexpected. As Hong has known me since baby, he felt that I am the one person who could advise and assist. He rather wants me to know than to inform his fearful dad.

Mmmmmm!!! It is not an easy task for me. I thought as a life insurance agent, I need to sell only insurance but today I have to act as parent to these lost children. They might have made a mistake but the mistake could not have happened if the parents took time to educate their children. After all, who can control temptation? Even adults like us can't at times. What more for the young and innocent like Hong and his girl friend. I am still scratching my head, what to tell them!!!

Shall I suggest to them to abort the unexpected, when nobody would know of it at the moment. Of course there is a certain element of risk involved if they choose this option. Or shall I inform both their families who might not understand them. Or shall I encourage both to get marry at this tender age when they should be studying. Or shall I stay quiet and do nothing, when they have so much confidence in me. Perhaps you readers can help.

Shall I follow this proverb spoken by Bill Watterson; "Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems."


Anonymous said...

Dear Robert,

My advice for Hong & his girlfren is to get married.

Although it's not a rightful time to do so at this age but I'm sure if their loves are strong enough, they'll be able to face any obstacles in life!

Let the parents know about it and get them to support Hong in terms of moral and financial wise.

Since this child has chosen Hong to be his father, so it's time for him to complete his duty like his parent had done to him 18 yrs ago, right?


Robert Foo said...

Hi Wild Castus...

Thank you for contributing such helpful advices. U don't seem to be so wild as your name. U have a caring and understanding heart as well. May God blesses you as strong and lasting as a Castus. See you more often here.

j. oiseau said...

I disagree with Wild Cactus about the troubled couple getting married.


Keeping Hong and his girlfriend's baby will certainly anger both sides of their family. Once the baby is born, however, they will come to a realization that they can't remain furious. They will eventually melt and open up their hearts to their adorable grandchild. Keeping the baby has a downfall--Hong's girlfriend might have to discontinue her education if there are no better circumstances. She also has to face people who will judge her at some point, for not everyone is understanding and open-minded.

I personally think getting an abortion is the best choice. There is no guarantee that Hong and his girlfriend will get married in the future. In fact, it is extremely rare for college lovebirds to continue on dating and caring for each other for a long time. Marriage is not just a mere decision that one can make and betray the next day. I can assure you that Hong and his girlfriend--not to be pessimistic (but rather being realistic)--will go their separate ways sometime after in the future. Abortion is a risky procedure. At worst, Hong's girlfriend might not be able to get pregnant again. But every decision we make have risks and I believe that she should get an abortion for her own good. She will feel very guilty about it, but I am sure she will move onto better things.

Robert Foo said...

Hi J. Oisean,

Thank you for your interest on this page. I think, your suggest is more realistic. In fact, life itself as plenty of complication. May be there is no right or no wrong...letting our mind play is the best way to solve the problems.
Thanks once again.

Anonymous said...

Hi Young Man!
Hong's problem is a social problem.
Most parents gave material needs to their children and had forgotten the following:-

1) To love their children with an
open heart - meaning you can
communicate openly and guide
them accordingly.

2) Sex Education at home-level is
important and the message is
"Prevention Is Better Than
Cure" - by highlighting the
current social problems.

3) Time management - try to spend
some time to show your love &
care towards your children.

4) Let them make decisions but
advise and guide them at all
times by giving examples.

There is a popular Chinese saying,
"Every family has a Sutra which is very difficult to recite". This is
due to our karmic cause and condition.

Well, a happy family is created by showing understanding & respect, and also contributions & sacrifices made by every member of the family.

Then the saying will be "Every family has a Sutra which is easy &
happy to recite".

Be Happy & Be Wise !!

Young Kat