Are we violent, senseless and heartless?

Be careful when you are driving in town because there are many road bullies who are violent and dangerous. I didn't believe until last year when I was hit by one who refused to admit his wrong. He was a young driver and together with his friend, he attacked me and also tried to threaten me with aggression. I had to rush to the Police before he caused me any harm.

I think the Malaysian are getting out of hand without consideration to others and behaving ruthlessly. Read the recent news, where it was reported how a woman was tailed by armed group after involving in an accident in Puchong. Her car rear and front windscreens were later smashed. Later when the son came to rescue his mother, they were surrounded by a group of men with parangs and iron rods. Separately son and mother drove to lodge a police report. Unfortunately along the way, out of panic the mother met another serious accident. The son immediately took her to the nearest private hospital. Spoken by the son, "However the hospital demanded RM10,000 for my mother's operation but I only had RM250 with me. They make us wait an hour before transferring her to Hospital Kuala Lumpur." Because of the long delay, this woman died three hours after she was admitted to HKL.

This meaningless tragedy showed how senseless and heartless we are, although we claimed that Malaysian are always friendly and sincere in thought. Our youths are violent and ruthless, and our so called professionals who are supposed to be noble in their practices are only out to make money more than considering to save lives first.

"It is good for a person to earn money for his needs. It is the hunger for wealth that is bad." This proverb depicts the moral of the incident.

Selling and tackling girls are similar in nature.

Most sales persons know how to present their products but not many know how to close a sale effectively. The fact is, prospects may listen or pretend to listen, but no prospect would be directly admitting, "I want to buy." By admitting those few words are like losing their pride for being sold. A professional salesperson knows how to detect buying signals from their interested prospects. Prospects would never admit they want to buy, even they have intention to purchase. A good salesperson can subtly assist buyers to purchase without buyers realising that they are being sold.

The above closing selling skill is like a man courting a woman. Woman is the prospect who has interest over a handsome man but she would never admit she likes him. If the man is an experience person, he would be able to sense the interest from the sweetness and attraction spoken by her. Love signals could be seen from her eyes and facial expression. Just like the prospective buyer who would never admit, "I want to buy", similarly the woman would never darn to tell him, "I like you." The courageous gentleman has to approach her with a sensational touch that she could not resist. If that magical moment could be created, the rest would be easy for both parties to agree upon. Tackling woman and selling are quite similar in nature.

Spoken by Pearl S. Buck, "The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it."

We chase for new sales but forgotten the old sales.

In any selling, new sales are always recognised more than the old sales. I had been selling for 40 years and I strongly believe, the old sales are equally important than the new one.

Look at the life insurance industry of today, those who do well on the current year is most recognised and talk about by their companies. Their names would be flashed all over the newspapers. An agent can be new in the career, but if he can bring in a substantial amount of new business today, he would be the hero immediately for his company. Comparing to those who have been in the business for twenty years and above, the new overrules the seniors.

As far as I am concerned, I measure my own achievement by the respect I gained from my existing clients of 25 years I built. I promised my clients that I would be there to serve whenever they need me most. These many years, I had make countless death, terminal sickness, disability and medical claims from the minor to the major one. I had never failed to honour all these claims. Each time when a client passed away, I would be the one who stood tall at the funeral because at the end, I was the one who could offer financial help to the deceased family. Whenever my clients fell severely sick, I would be the first visitor to be at their beds to give my moral support and assistance. Many had also lived to benefit the maturing of those endowment plans taken twenty years ago. They could have spoken twenty years was a long time and the money was not worth to receive when matured. Surprisingly today, they regretted for taking too little twenty years ago. When I brought them these maturing cheques, they were almost crying in tears. They just could not believe how time flies. For those kids who had grown, the educational funds were a wonderful present for their studies.

Equally I am happy and proud with my clients who have all these years entrusted me their faith and confidence. With perseverance, patience, determination, courage, knowledge and wisdom, I still remain to be here to serve rather than to be served. In fact, I have out lived many of my clients. Most of the older one have already retired, when I am still around to encourage them to live on. Those little children whom I played with, when they were in school, are now taking my advices as my current new clients. I have kept my promise to remain as their life insurance agent as long as I live.

Currently I have one death claim still pending, another lady client is suffering with parkinson's disease whom I have to claim on her critical cover, a housewife had a severe heart attack and is under treatment in a local hospital at the moment, another housewife had a motor accident this morning and she is being hospitalised too, and an educational plan of 18 years would be maturing early next month when I have to forward the payment cheque to the deserving child. I don't know whether the above tasks are considered as achievement, but for sure in my heart I know these clients need my attention more than those who need to buy new policies from me. Thanks God, although I work silently within myself, I am not disturbed or distracted by chasing for new sales.

Sad to say, what I had written is not important to my company. As I mentioned earlier, new sales are more important than the old one. For each new sale, there is always a cheer but for each claim make, nobody would be bother to hear. If you bring in a million policy, there would be a big hoohaa but if your client cash out his maturing policy twenty years later, no agent would be there. You may sell a new medical plan of today, but whether the agent who sells can still be around when the client is admitted. Can't blame the agencies because they can only see the present, when the past are never highlighted by their companies. New sales are important but if you don't appreciate the old one, how could agents be serious in keeping and servicing the old cases.

May be this proverb is correct, "New broom always sweep well." That is why you seldom see senior veteran agents who could stay long enough to sell and be committed in the career. Without the past, there would be no present and without the present, there would no brighter future. All three seasons have to work hand in hand for the betterment of our industry.

"Every body is attracted by beauty and quality of the present. It is a rare quality to help the ugly and unqualified of the past."

Walking down the memory lane

Last Saturday morning while having my early breakfast in a mamak shop, I met a friend there. I was with one of my grand son and he was accompanying his young son for his tennis games. What surprised me most, was he had the time to be with his son. He holds an important position as a CEO of an international corporation in town. It was never easy to meet up with him because of his always heavy schedules and work. I am glad he found time to be with his son especially this tender age, when the child needs the father attention and support.

When I saw them, I remember this story which I like to share. There was an old retired man who wanted to go fishing on a weekend with his working son. He asked his son, "Can we go fishing this coming week, just you and dad?" The son smiled and replied, "Sorry! Dad. This weekend, I have to work as well. Here are two hundred ringgits for you dad. Please enjoy yourself." Later when the son left, the old man cried and pondered over those few words. He recalled the past and regretted for not spending enough time with his son when he was still schooling. He remembered, there was a day when his little child asked, "Dad, this weekend, we are having a sport event at our school. I would be participating in some games and I want you to be there. Ok?" The busy father who was still working then, replied,"Son, I am sorry, I can't be there because I need to work this weekend also. Here are twenty ringgits for you to enjoy with your friends."

When the father was working, he had no time for the children who at that time wanted the father's present. He did not know building a relationship, required understanding, effort, sacrifices, patience and love. By the time he realised it, the child had grown to be an adult who had his own world and mindset. Most parents fall into this trap,when career and work could be the main causes of society problems. While writing this article, I myself felt the pain and regret in my heart and mind for not spending enough valuable time with my children and the woman I love when I was much younger. Today they are successful in their own way and are living in another part of the world. When they were young, I took time for granted too and had not appreciated that valuable moment. I was carried away with my career and I only love them in silent without expressing it out to them. I hope my children and the woman I love would be able to read this blog where I like to say, "Sons and my dear, I really love you so much. I should have given all of you more valuable time. Sorry for not doing the right thing then."

I should have known this thirty years ago, "It does not cost a penny to speak lovely, true and sweet words." I hope it isn't too late if I apply them now.....

An unmarried man could be a problem!

Are you aware? If a woman is not married, it isn't a problem but if a man who is at 40 and not married yet, it could be a problem? In life insurance term, if a man who is of 40 years and above, proposing a plan and declaring as still single, most likely he would be subjected to extra underwriting questions. He would be asked whether he is bio sexual or gay and might be requested for further blood tests. Sometimes I felt bad for asking such sensitive questions to these prospective clients who were males and live single.

In justification on the underwriting, I think they presume that if a man isn't married at middle or late age, they might have moral or physical problem. Surprisingly not on female, who can be a spinster and yet can effect any covers at any time.

By virtue of this aspect, it confirmed that man really can't live without woman but woman can live without man. Meaning, if you are an eligible and healthy man, you should be married or otherwise. For those middle aged single men, if you intend to propose life insurance, I suggest you better seriously consider to seek a life partner first before you consider a life insurance program. Life partner provides you love and contentment, and life insurance assures you promises and security. These both life partner and life insurance go hand in hand to enhance a more completed lives for man.

"The greatest achievement for a man is to be able to conquer a woman and make her fall in love madly with him passionately."

Killer's charm of innocent sweet lady.

There are many types of women I had encountered. Some are sincere and loving but some are not. The one that puzzle me most, are those with dual characters. They are sincere and loving at times but sometimes they are not. This is the most dangerous type of lady because you won't know when they would swing their moods.

These types of woman are mainly those who had left their husbands. They are strong and independence in character. If you check with them, they would not be shy to tell that they had divorced their husbands and not the husbands that left them. They love money, frame and glory more than anything else in life. Man is not important in their personal lives. They seek for self gratification only.

With lonesome and stressful career, they escape to seek for temporary spiritual shelter. They attend religious learning and guidance which are not effective to them. At times they think holy but the hearts are devil driven because greed is too strong in them. Those who do not know them well would think that they are kind and spiritual incline.

However when they are out in the corporate world, they work like super dynamic ladies. They are cunning, shrewd and irresponsible in their professions, especially those who take up selling and marketing. They use their feminine charm and beauty to secure result. They use their sympathetic image as single parents to gain support and businesses. With their strong determination, they are not bother to follow ethical practices and rules. One word, they have no principle in life but heartless.

With their single status plus their sexy and attractive looks, they enjoy having fun with men who happened to come along their ways. They could seduce men to buy their products or to build a short term relationship. One day they are loving and the next they can turn arrogance. Whether on job or relationship, they would never be serious. Within their religious circles, they talked holiness and love but out in the earthly world, they behaved devil to a certain degree.

I am still asking myself; what are they? who are they? are they angel or devil? are they dangerous to our peaceful world? are they causing harm to the innocents? what are they seeking? are they sick?

This world certainly has a lot of mysteries to learn and to explore. So, when the next round you meet an innocent sweet lady, don't take her so easily but add cautiousness and be careful in your dealing with her. For she can cause more harm than good.

Life Insurance is a promise to deliver.

Is selling life insurance easy or difficult? Yes at the beginning but no if you are not serious in the business. Most rookie agents who started this career are money driven. They could do well in the first year, because they have many friends to support them at the beginning.

Selling life insurance is offering a promise to deliver. A promise that in the event of the future, if the client dies, disable or sick, the agent would be around to handle all the necessary claims for his client. Sad to say, not many rookie or even agents are competence in claim procedures. There are many types of claim, either the minor or major, all claims have to be submitted according to strict requirements.

All new agents are recruited and trained by the sales agency forces. Most of the trainings are related to sales and marketing, when income, incentives and recognition are over emphasized to motivate the agents to sell. Not many agents have the chance to experience a death claim. Meaning, you might be selling many policies but not many clients would die too soon for you to gain the experience in making a claim. So, many a time when an inexperience agent who encountered a bad claim, he would find difficulties to overcome the problems. Not forgetting the sales department works differently from the claims section. The sales want more sales but the claims control sales, unless the sales were brought in right.

I have worked 25 years to understand the important of claims. It is only when a final claim is paid would I consider a sale has concluded. So whenever I submit a case, I always informed my clients that their estates and insurance requirements are of prime concern to me. Their programme should be reviewed from time to time. If their estates are not in proper order at their retirement or premature death, then I have failed to live up to the faith and confidence they have placed in me. This is my personal promise. This year alone, I had submitted three death claims with speedy approval, not counting the numerous medical claims too.

My recommendation to agents who want to excel in this career; before you sell, please take some time to approach and learn from the claims underwriting first. They don't teach you to sell but they convince you to be serious in this business. You learn from the last part of the business to become more professional. It might sound silly but it works.

"Happiness is not in having or being - it is in the doing." This definition of happiness by Lillian Watson.

Selling is like acting.

Selling is like acting. Good movie actors and actresses could take any roles to amuse and entertain their fans. They can make you laugh and cry with emotion, depending on their stories. They can be so natural in their acting that their fans can be carried away with their shows.

Selling needs emotion and feeling. At times when you relate happy moment, can you add laughter and humour on your expression. Or perhaps you are telling a sad story, can you have tears in your eyes and words to reflex the sorrowful part of it. Certain time you want excitement to be felt, can you create the moment of anxiety and interest. Your products need love and concern, can you act to show you are sincere and kind hearted. You want to depict your success and reliability, can you act by emotion and expression without saying them in words. Yes! If you are an actor, the above character and action can be acted to perfection accordingly.

If you can't act, I suggest the next time you see a movie or a TV show, take some seriousness in observing how movie stars act and dramatise in all their scenes. They talk with perfect natural facial expression. They can laugh and cry with feeling. Given time, you not only can sell but you can act as well like them.

My belief; "If you can act in your daily life, you can definitely be able to sell anything under the sun."

The truthful & untruthful worlds.

I believe most of us are living in two different worlds at one time. When we are out, we live in the untruthful world but when we are back home, we are truly ourselves. Shall we tell the truth or shall we not!

You might be unhappy at times but when you see somebody important, you behave as you are happy. Is it good for yourself? May be not because you have to exert yourself and pretend to be pleasant when you are not. Without realising, you develop tension and become more stressful. So, by the time you return home you become a wild animal to the family and that's where you become your true self. I had seen ladies who were sweet and charming while working outside, but actually they are fierce tigresses at home. Don't ever judge a book by its cover.

You are being approached by an aggressive salesperson, who has presented his product well. You know the benefits are good but you can't afford to buy. Instead of telling the truth, you prefer to lie by saying the product is not good. I am sure all you readers must had done these many times before. Right? One thing for sure , I always offer positive compliments to those I meet, be they the truth or not. I like saying, "You look wonderful" or "You are sweet". Whether they are feeling wonderful, sweet or not, the power of those words could create magic in them. You may consider those as white lies, which we have to live with in our world of truthfulness and untruthfulness at the same times.

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." This happiness quote by Thich Nhat Hanh

Unethical practice of selling

Life insurance selling is a professional career. Those who profess as insurance agents have to be committed, responsible, honest, has integrity and principle, ethical, has a caring heart, fair dealing with clients and principle representing, and prepared to work hard.

With these many years of selling life insurance, I had encountered many who were considered as black sheep to our industry. They had never honoured the above rules and policies for selling professionally. They sold for the sake of self interest and to make profit instantly without the consideration of their clients and companies. I felt disgusted with their unethical practice and behaviour.

I take this opportunity to relate one typical case for illustration. There was an agent who looked presentable and spiritually incline at the beginning. He sold an insurance plan to Mr X two years ago. Agent was not doing well in his business. Mr X was not healthy then. Out of desperation, he sold Mr X a policy without declaring his actual medical history. Two years later, Mr X was confirmed to have diagnosed with advance stage of cancer. He is currently under heavy medical treatment but agent advised him not to claim his sickness benefit. Because both of them had not disclosed this fact of health on submission of proposal to the insurer previously. The agent has to wait for a death claim. It sounded cruel for waiting a client to die before a claim is payable. Meaning, claiming the sickness benefit now might create suspicious and perhaps claim might be denied later.

I considered the above arrangement has intention to cheat, which isn't fair to the client and the insurer. The agent's dishonesty and unethical way of advices, had not helped the client's needs, except for earning commission and incentives for himself. He had unnecessary created fear and uncertainty over his case plus putting his client under pressure.

Although his client is very sick and dying, agent did not show the slightest care and concern over his client's health. I wondered where all his faith and spiritual belief has gone. Surprisingly agent also has little experience and knowledge on claim procedures. Would he be able to help client family's claim when he passes away later! Such agent around is really a disgrace for our industry. He should be reported and thrown out from our circle.

Of course not all insurance agents are like him, who is out to make money for himself only. Hopefully with better and more stringent rules enforced, there should be lesser unprofessional agents being recruited into our respectful industry. A friendly advice for our consumers who intend to purchase insurance products; please deal with agents who are serious and professional in their trade.

My strongest belief in life; "If I am honest in all my dealings. I can never experience fear."

Don't sell when you are stressful.

Many sales are lost when you are not at the right frame of mind while selling. There is a saying,"Success leads to success." Nobody likes to deal with a failure or a sorrowful salesperson. Never bring your personal problems onto your selling.

Recently I had a chance to accompany one of my associates to present one of her financial products. Before meeting our prospect, she was telling me about her recent family, personal and career problems. She was under tremendous amount of stress and pressure, but she refused to cancel this important appointment.

When the time for her to explain and to illustrate her plans, she was not calm and her words were jittery. During the presentation, the prospect was asking for some uncertain questions. Instead of offering a logical and confident explanation, she turned arrogance with a rejected tune of voice. For a moment, the prospect was taken aback and that was when I came in to rescue her with my explanation. The prospect was happy with my reply and she continued to close the case quite easily after that.

Perhaps she wasn't even aware she was at wrong because stressfulness could blind one's thought. She was lucky that I was around to observe and to understand the finer point of closing a deal but not all the time she would be this fortunate.

Conclusion; when you are stressful, worry, unhappy or having some kind of problem within yourself, please avoid selling until you have a peace of clearer mind. Never bring your personal problems onto your work, especially meeting an important person. These are true facts of selling.

All the wits & fancies of woman.

There are many things that puzzle me between man and woman. Like for instances; when woman cries, man feels sympathy for them. However when man cries, he is considered as weak.

When ladies stare at man, man would be over joyed. Be careful man, if you stare at ladies, you would be called as a maniac.

When girls smile at boys, this is manner and politeness but when boys smile at girls, this is rudeness.

If a lady has a tyre puncture while on the road, there would be many helping hands for her. Sorry for man, you have to do it yourself.

Ladies who wear bikinis at sea front, all eyes are on them with admiration. Man can go naked, nobody would be interested, as they do look ugly.

A sweet young female voice on telephone can arouse a male listener's attention. A male voice has to add confident and clarity before your listener can accept you. Otherwise, you are treated as a nuisance.

If a lady twinkles her eyes to a man, his heart would melt with excitement. Sorry for the man! Don't wink or blink your eyes to a lady, for you might get a slap instead for nothing.

A woman who invites a man to bed, both would be satisfied and happy. Be careful man! When you have sex with woman, you could be charged for rape.

For woman to get men is always so easy, but for man to get woman is tough. One consolation to man; No doubt, it is easy for a woman to get many men but it is never easy for a woman to get the right man to love her. Woman can always out smart man in many ways. They might have all the wits and fancies to take advantage on man, but finally they still have to seek that particular man to love her right. Thanks God! You have treated us fairly in that sense.

Specially for ladies; "Love in not finding the right person. But creating the right relationship. It is not how much love we have in the beginning. But how much love we build until the end."

Your eyes can show you are in love!

I met one of my young lady client who looked so happy through her eyes. Without hesitation I asked Steph, "Are you in love at the moment?" In a shy manner she replied, "How do you know Robert."

With my experiences, heart is the place where love resides. Unfortunately we can't see the heart from the outside. However there is a pathway from the heart that links to our eyes. So when a person is happy and especially in love, that person's eyes would grow with love.

In order to sense and learn this type of love grow in lover's eyes, I suggest you dine in a romantic restaurant where all lovers patronize. Those places are flowered with roses and are lit with candles. Don't just eat but look around you to see the eyes of those lovers who are dinning as well. Observe their facial expression and movement. You definitely can see the different of how sweet and romantic they are. A reminder, please don't miss to look at their eyes. They have the grow of true love.

Steph, you have the eyes of love and I too have them, but just that you are not experience enough to observe mine.

For those who are in love; "Pure love is the basis of eternal relationship."

Learn from our past.

Most people live in the present and forgotten the past and neither border to think of the future. The present looks good and comfortable when the past was difficult and suffering. Why think of the future when it isn't there yet.

If this is the mind-set of our younger generation, the nation could be in danger of future progress. Today we are comfortable in life when most things are available to every one. Not 50 years ago, when our country was poor and undeveloped then. Getting into school was not easy or getting a simple job was difficult. There was hunger and begging was common. The average life span was shorter due to the environmental and standard of living. Comparing the today is so much different. School is free for all, unless one intends to attend in a private one. Unemployment is to the minimum, unless one is choosy to get a job. No one died of hunger here and we have not seen a beggar for a long time. Our average life has gone up tremendously due to improvement of living.

Our present younger generation is a pampered and a spoiled one. Perhaps they had heard but they had never seen the suffering of the past. The grand parents or even the parents might have experienced the hard time before. Now that life is much easier, the parents have forgotten the past. They love their children and would wish to give the best and comfort to them. Without realising and understanding the facts of life, unintentionally parents give their love to their children wrongly. They give more than they should. Their children are over protected in every sense. They refuse to let the young to suffer like them before.

End results; their children lack self independence, are lazy, demanding, carefree, not responsible and soft in character. These are the common characteristic personality of our today's youth and it is alarming. They have developed a wrong attitude in life and we the parents are to be blamed.

How can our growing nation be turned into a fully developed country, when our present youth are not even willing to excel and to stride harder. Without their strength and enthusiasm, the future might not turn so bright after all.

Moral of the story; "No past, there would be no present. No present, there is no future."

Man is just toy for woman.

As man. we always find difficult to understand woman. More so on their feeling and desire.

In my life, I came across a woman who at the beginning looked simple and innocent. She had feminine charm which would be easy to make man fall for her. Came a gentleman who was attracted by her, they both fell in love rapidly. At the start, she wanted all his attention which he willingly gave. In order to prove, he was truly in love with her, almost everyday he sent love messages or poem of romance to her without fail. Not a single night would he fail again to call her to speak on phone before sleeping. They met most of the time, when Saturday was a lover's outing day and Sunday was another lover's night for dinner. She loved to travel and he was too happy to take her wherever she wanted. This was the pre romance period.

Two years later things changed. The man was even more serious than at the beginning. He loved her, missed her and needed her. When this happened, she complained that every night call was a nuisance. He was like wasting her time, when she should be doing her homework at home. Comparing to last time, no call from him, she would not be able to sleep. The love messages and poem were hardly read even though they were sent. Saturday and Sunday were too tight a time now because there were more other important events to meet. Don't mention the words travel and holiday, as everyday is a working day for her. This was the pro romance period.

I really pity all men because to satisfy and understand women isn't easy at all. To women, I think they take men as their toys. To play with them as and when they like. If they are in the mood, the toys are important to them then. Otherwise, they can just throw away the old toys and they can always buy new one again.

Really can't blame them, as women are getting smarter and richer. For the men, I beg you guys to work harder and smarter too. If we are not going to be better than them, we would always be their toys. Mark my words, for this is the true facts of life. Look around yourself. See how many successful ladies you know, would know how to cook, wash, care for the young and the old and be good lovers for the men. They prefer to earn well outside than to sacrifice more for their families. Perhaps they might even not prepared to have babies.

For the men, please awake yourself. For the women, be sincere and be fair. If the first man, Adam didn't requested for a companion, all females would not be in existence today. We need each other to move forward in life. You can't be living alone and neither can the men.

Definition of happiness by Judi Singleton; "Happiness is when your mind is thinking through your heart."... Specially for women.

Thanks Deen for your comment on attitudes

Deen, thanks again for your sincere comments on my title, "Right Attitude." If only our Malaysian would adopt the right attitude in life, we should be more progressive than our neighbours.

You are totally right, skill could be taught and be developed but not attitude. Perhaps one can cultivate right attitude slowly from others. I can't be quoting of others wrong attitude but right around my circles of work, I could see many who are not working right. I have a very closed associate who at one time took me as a mentor. This person is willing to work and learn from me. I had taught this person almost everything, in term of ideas and selling skill but sad to say this person is still not doing well at all.

This person is intelligent and has personality but lacking in right attitude. Mind isn't positive, swing from time to time. Persistence is extremely weak. Work hard but no integrity. Determination and confidence level are low. Not focus and lousy organising. Non decisive and doesn't believe in products. Slow to learn and weak in common sense. Loyalty is there but not dedicated because complain more than ever. All these attributes to wrong attitude.

The person has the knowledge but wisdom of understanding in life is rather weak. The wrong attitude of the mind, effected the person's success. If only this person could listen, things would definitely be better.

Star performer always has right attitude.

A consensus was done worldwide to find out what are the attributes to make a star performer of a company. They picked the best 100 established international corporations and interviewed their best 5 star performers of each . They finally gathered 30 common attributes that made them special from the rest.

The 30 attributes of star performer:

1. Honesty 2. Competitive 3. Positive attitude 4. Persistence 5. Patience

6. Hardworking 7. Integrity 8. Humility 9. Sense of humour

10. Drive 11. Determination 12. Confidence 13. Responsible 14. Motivated

15. Communicator 16. Organised 17. Listener 18. Pride 19. Empathy

20. Single-minded 21. Decisive 22. Belief 23. Goal Oriented 24. Learner

25. Enthusiasm 26. Common Sense 27. Detail Master 28. Dependable

29. Dedicated 30. Loyalty

Please note; 25 are purely 'Attitudes.'

4 are 'Skill' that are 'Attitudes' related.

1 is regarded as a skill alone.

Conclusion; if you truly want to be a star performer in your company but lack the above attributes, then most likely you would fail to be one. Unless you change. "The main reason a person achieves, keeps and performs well in a job is totally dependent on his attitude and not only on one's skill alone."

Three Golden Rules In Selling

A lot of sales are not concluded because most salesperson make mistakes without realising themselves. They are excited to complete the transaction immediately without knowing when, where and how to close a proper sale. I take this opportunity to share my three golden rules before I conduct a sale.

1. Know your prospect first.

Relax and take a bit of time to talk and introduce yourself. If you are truly a good and interesting salesperson, you should be able to market yourself to your prospect. This is not the time to sell your product. Don't even utter one word of it. Most sales are rejected because the product is mentioned too early. During this period, you should be able to sense whether you are comfortable with him. Keep asking yourself at the same time, whether prospect is comfortable with you as well. If he doesn't respect and like you, he would not be comfortable with you at all. How could you be able to sell your product, when he doesn't like your present.

2. Is the time right?

If you think, you had made him like you, perhaps you could proceed to sell. However, before doing so, ask yourself and him, whether both have the time to discuss further. In case, you don't have time because your next appointment is due soon, don't waste your time to talk about your product now. Or your prospect might be having his next meeting soon, it would be better to come again for another convenient time. Never rush against time.

3. Is the location right?

The above two rules are fulfilled but the location isn't ideal for discussion, is also another set-back. To sell, you new a quiet and cosy environment to think and ponder about doubts and solutions. If the place isn't right for serious discussion, then don't kill the sale but rather postpone to another date and place.

The above three golden rules look simple enough but yet many salesperson always tend to over look these requirements. So my fellow colleagues, remember these golden rules and you should do better in future selling.

Be focus on your selling

Is sad to see a lot of my fellow colleagues, finding difficulties to stay longer in our business. At the beginning of their insurance career, things were extremely exciting when they saw glamour and income. In order for them to see immediate results, the fastest and easiest ways were to approach people closed to them, relatives and friends. When these new agents who brought in the rapid new sales, everybody was happy, from the managers to the company. For their achievement, they were well recognised and rewarded.

You could see the excitement slowly decreasing, when they found that there were no more 'easy sales', after selling from the third year onward. All their closed contacts were being approached and they had no more excuses to ask their friends to buy again from them. When they started, they were treated like heroes and stars, because they were producing marvellously as rookies. Three years later, they could almost lose all their enthusiasm and hope in this career. Those who still insisted to continue, became beggar salesperson. Their selling were more like begging rather than to sell on clients' or prospects' needs. They sold out of desperation.

The main cause of their defeat was; they were never trained to sell in the first place but they started more like being an order takers. They started with those easy sales from their closed contacts and when they ventured into the natural and unknown market, they were totally at lost. Was like a pet dog being thrown to hunt in the wild. These pet dogs would never survive in the jungle unless they were trained to be hunter.

To make things even worst, most agents are encouraged to sell various products. From life insurances to general insurances. Including will writing and talking on investment, selling unit trust. Let alone life insurance is a long term learning, when one has to be committed. How could they within these short period of two to three years, to be able to learn all the about products with competence and confidence. Without focus, failure would be too soon to happen.

My only advices to my fellow young colleagues. Learn the hard way by selling to strangers or try extensive cold calls at the start of your career. By doing so, you would understand human behaviour and manner better and faster. Pick your one product that you like most and make sure you learn the hundred percent of it. Focus on what you want and create the dreams for yourself on this life long career. If you are serious, I am sure you would be successful in whatever you endeavour.

A friendly advice; "Do not allow anything to be an obstacle, see everything as a stepping stone to victory."

Grand mum can't make baby but grand dad can!

A little child was curious about growing and aging of lives. He asked his grand dad, "How come when we are old, some can still make babies when some can't?"

The grand dad was surprised and unsure of what he meant, asked, "What do you mean boy?"

The boy continued, "All grand mums can't make babies but many grand dads still can!"

Grand dad was shocked and amazed with his grand child curiosity about sex and lives. He had to offer a reasonable explanation and yet not so deep to confuse the little boy. Softly he whispered, "Well! All grand mums have no time to make baby because they spend a lot of time with God. Whereas most grand dads are still naughty and spend lesser time with God. They have more time to make babies outside of the home!"

Moral of the story is; sometimes in life we have to add joke and humour with wisdom to make it more interesting.

Older man still needs women

My statement is correct; "Man can't live without woman but woman can live without man."

The latest hot news in town, "retiree of 97, proposes to widow he hasn't met before." This man from Raub, Pahang who cannot hear very well and has lost almost all his teeth and hair, but he believes he still has the lovin' feeling. Retiree Yong Chai Keng feels that he can provide happiness to a 38-year-old widow he has never met before. In fact, Yong had proposed to at least two widows and another woman in the past four months, and all his proposals were turned down.

Most people were surprised and felt disgusted by the old man silly action and approaches. On the other hand, I considered him to be brave and honest to his needs. Imagine if Adam, the first man on earth could not live without woman, what makes all existing men at the moment can live without. Not many men are brave like Yong who darn to show his desire and interest. The world accepts the young but the old are treated differently. Old should retire and should not be naughty. Old should be quiet and should not have sex. Old should be holy and should not be admiring the opposite sex. How could the old be able to live on when he doesn't feel young. Most older foes are living in a hidden world with their silent sorrow. The fact is, whether how young or how old a man is, he still needs a woman around.

Yong would not have lived up this ripe age, if he had not got wives or female partners to fulfill his contentment. His look is strong and healthy. Many of his age would have been gone or having no desire to live. He is not afraid of what the world sees in him. He doesn't want to live in sorrow but rather pursuit his dreams and fancies. He has the knowledge and the wisdom of what are best for him to live on and not like the rest who just live with hypocrisy.

These are the facts of life unwritten and unspoken; "Looks like when a person is aging, his value also decreases. The fact is, it takes time to learn and only when you are old, perhaps you might gain some wisdom of life. But again, when you are there, your value is no longer needed."

Premenstrual Syndrome can damage loves

Love is sweet but sometimes it could be a misery when confronted with society problems, hidden and unknown. Let me relate one typical life story to reveal how frightening love could be.

Sharon and Ricky were intimate lovers for two and half years. He was a gentleman in nature and she was a loving lady too. The first year was a beautiful romantic year for both when they did what all lovers would do. Ricky would never miss one day to tell her, "Darling I love you." She would always be supported with a reply,"Dear I would love you for ever too." Their love was true, exciting and looked unbreakable.

However it was sad after the second years, when their love feeling went down turn. Both seemed to be quarrelling and arguing most of the time. She became not so romantic towards him. He was frustrated and sad to see her mood changed. Both just don't understand why this unpleasantness could happen to them. In fact deep down in their hearts, they still love each others. Moreover there was no third parties involved in this relationship to cause their differences.

The Sharon and Ricky's story could happen every where and to any couples. Most don't even know why they broke off. Perhaps they assumed that they are not compatible to each other.

Being selling for these many years, I had learned that life has many unnoticeable lives problems which many live without knowing or realising themselves. Let me explain here. Woman is created differently in term of physical and chemistry. Woman has to experience monthly menstrual when man is lucky enough not to have it. Many women could be suffering from a sickness called 'Premenstrual Syndrome' (PMS) without knowing themselves.

What is this stupid PMS then? PMS is a collection of physical, psychological and emotion systems that many women experience during the first or second week before a menstrual period. During this period there are cyclic changes in female sex hormones. Emotional symptoms could be experience with; fatigue, mood swings, irritability. depression, hostility, crying spells. difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, increasing appetite and changes in libido (sex desire). All females from age 19 onwards could be suffering with PMS, either mild or hyper in level.

Sharon was a hyper sufferer of PMS, when she and her lover didn't realise it. She was getting tired and stressful most of the time. Her mood swing from time to time and became irritable. She was sad for no reason. She was unfriendly and lost her affection over her man. She could not concentrate even in her career and forgetful in her daily chores. She almost lost her desire to make love. All this while, Ricky was not aware she was suffering in PMS. He was thinking that she had lost interest in him. He confronted her with extra pressure and anger which led to more misunderstanding between the both. She was frustrated because he could not understand the poor girl. Both their hearts were broken hearted with pain. This trauma is caused by PMS and not the true feeling of the loving lady.

Sometimes I wonder why women have to go through this torture. Is it a punishment by GOD? For Eve was the one who ate the forbidden apple first. Or is it for men to understand women better? Life has many mysteries. I believe one has to pursuit knowledge and wisdom to understand life better. If only Ricky could have learned to understand that there is a sickness called PMS, he could be more understanding to his love. Instead of being angry and confronting her with pressure, he should be more caring and offer extra assurance to her. Love never fails.

I hope my above information could be useful to lovers, especially to the men. Understand her and love her. I would myself, if given another chance.

To those who are in love; "Game of love. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you fine a new love, you view the past as a teacher. Love will always find a way. Will always win."

Don't lose your wisdom?

A child was walking along the park with his mother. Accidentally he dripped, fell and had a minor cut on his leg. The mother was furious for a moment, shouted at him,"Why are you so careless?" The boy cried aloud when he realised he was also bleeding slightly. Immediately the mother tried to help by touching him but he cried even louder as thought the pain was unbearable.

There were many people around but not one bother to assist the mother and her child. At a distance, there was an older man who was aware what was happening. He took a bottle of drinking water and a first aid box from his car. Subsequently he approached the mother and said, "Can I help?" Both mother and son were astonished, when she replied with a smile, meaning yes. Holding one hand with the bottle of water and the other hand with the medicine, he politely spoke to the scary child, "Boy! are you alright. You should be brave. Your cut is a very minor one. Uncle here should be able to help you."

With just the few words spoken, the man could wash and clean the boy's wound and applied what was necessary. He was a total stranger and yet the boy accepted him without a cry. Not the mother. Don't you think it was strange?

The moral of this story; the mother had the knowledge but without the understanding of facts of life. Whereas that man also had knowledge but he understood the inner wisdom of life. Knowledge is good but without the wisdom of your inner self, one could create anger and frustration. The mother wanted to help her child but she started with anger and applying the wrongful words. On the other hand, the man assisted with blissfulness and concern. His words were more assuring and kind. This is another good example of "love never fails."

"Contentment and bliss go hand in hand. These qualities create great fascination for you among others."

Apply Love in our selling

Many fellow colleagues used to ask me, "Sir, how do you manage to sell life insurance for such a long period of time." Spontaneously I replied, "I don't sell insurance but I am preaching the religion of love."

Perhaps these young people might not understand that short simple reply. Let me offer a little wisdom to my words here. Basically life insurance is a product of love and the understanding of life itself. The journey of life is related to birth, living, suffering and death. During this living path, we face many obstacles to survive. Non of us can escape this journey. Either you could live with loves or to live with hatreds.

The word love sounds simple enough but is not that simple as we thought. Love has feeling and emotion. Love is beautiful if you know how to use it. Love is giving and sharing. Love has no jealousy. Love has no ill thought. Love always has affection to care and to concern. Love has forgiveness. Love has no greed. Love has no pride. Love can inspire and motivate. Love has the willing desire to move. Love has kindness and humbleness. Love has patience and tolerance. Love depicts peace rather than violence. Love has no envy and not boastful. Love isn't proud or rude. Love has no self seeking. Love will not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrong. Love doesn't delight in evil but rather rejoices with the truth. Love always hope and always perseveres.

Love never fails. To prove my points, lets look at history to learn and to believe. Buddha was preaching 'simplicity and contentment', today three thousand years later, his great name is still known. Jesus was preaching 'love' two thousand five hundred years ago, today the world still remember him. Prophet Mohammad was preaching 'peace' one thousand four hundred years back, one third of the world today are his followers. Mahatma Ghani was preaching 'non violence'. With his humbleness India got their independence. Mother Theresa's kindness melts the heart of all. All of them were preaching LOVE and they are forever to be remembered.

I am not a scholar, neither am I an academician. I am just a simple person but with a warm sincere heart to preach my faith in love. I strongly believe, love would never fail, if I applied it on my course in selling Life Insurance.

How I wish if only our Life Insurance Industry could put more 'love' into our selling, rather than just trying to meet our target sales. Perhaps then, there would be more agents who could last a longer journey in their selling. "Love is forever and greed is temporary."

My belief,"It is good to earn money for his needs. It is the hunger for wealth that is bad."

Thank you Deen

Deen, thank you for your meaningful comments on my recent title, "Birthday is our sweetest day of the year." Yes! We are friends for already 17 years and this friendship is going to last until the end of The Universe. Not only by fate we met but it was almost a miracle. Just imagine the chances of knowing each other out of the billion people in this world. We really have to treasure this relationship.

I believe there must be a purpose for friends to know each other. However the sad things are, people don't seem to respect and to cherish friendship sincerely. Most people live with a mask to interact with each other. Their surfaces look nice but the hearts are insincere. The worst would be those who treat you like shit when you give them your heart. There are also those who take more than they should be giving. Any way the world has many types of people and not all could be living the same manner and style. As long as we use our mind and heart to treat our friends, sincerity and kindness would definitely be shown. Like you too.

A beautiful proverb for you; "Don't write your name on sand, waves will wash it away. Don't write your name in sky, wind may blow it away. Write your name in the hearts of people you come in touch with. That's where it will stay."

Hidden rules on fame and sex

In my experience of 40 years selling, I learned the unwritten and hidden rules, regarding human behaviour and characteristics of those who are successful and powerful.

For a successful man, most likely he loves women and sex. The strong sexual urge is linked to his personal drive. Meaning, the stronger his urge, his drive is even greater. Without his sexual desire, most likely he would not reach the peak in his success or power. In order to satisfy his sexual needs, he has to earn well to appease his one or more women. The stronger his desires, the more he does well in his personal success.

I think for woman could be a little different. Successful ladies love luxurious life styles. Diamonds would be their best friends for replacing man. Exclusive cars could be better than sex. They prefer to live by themselves rather than to be in love with man.

I can't imagine how our world has evolved since the creation of Adam & Eve, when woman was there to love and satisfy man. Today successful women could live without man. And successful men are getting more difficult to look for deserving women, who are willing to satisfy their unwritten and hidden needs and fancies.

There is a French proverb: "To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?"

This is not-so-happy thought by Brigitte Bardot.

Selling is like sex!

A younger salesman asked a successful older salesperson, "Sir! Although you are much older than me, more clients like to deal with you and not me. Can you tell me what are your secrets of your success?"

The older colleagues replied, "Selling is like sex. The older you are, the more skillful you would be!" The young man was not sure, "Sir could you enlighten me further."

He was disturbed, "Aiyah! Why are you such a stoop! At your age, your sex plays can be strong and active but you lack skill and experiences to last the distance, and to satisfy your deserving partner. However when you are much older, you would definitely acquire better skill and know how to perform fantastically well on bed. Selling is the same. The longer you work, the more you refine yourself."

Morale of it: " Selling & sex, both need to have the experiences & the magical touch."

Purchasing Condoms

Today I am not going to share wisdom but rather share a little laughter to make a beautiful Sunday for my readers. This joke could have read by some but is still a good one to giggle in your heart.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Birthday is our sweetest day of the year

The happiest day of the year is most likely our Birthday. One can forget any day of the year but we seldom forget our own birthday. That is one day that has so much of sweetness and meaning to oneself.

I have developed an interest of remembering friends' birthday since 35 years ago. I was lucky to have worked in a trading company, which was the main distributor for 'Hallmark Cards.' Hallmark is the best available greeting cards in the world. Their slogan, "The Card That Cares, When U Want To Sent The Very Best." The American spend millions to create the best design with the most meaningful wording before each card is marketed to the rest of the world. My job was to pick and systemically ordered stocks from The State. I had the opportunity to read and admire the flowering words and meaning of those beautiful cards. Words are powerful. They could create a sense of joy, pride and happiness. If is written negatively, it creates a sense of sorrowfulness and sadness too.

The only card that I love sending is birthday card and not festival or seasonal cards. I believe seasonal cards are too commercialised, which have little meaning to the recipients. All seasonal cards look quite similar with simple words and design. In fact those who received them, read and throw them away later, without even bordering to appreciate the cards. It is a real waste of money!

I designed my cards and had them printed. I picked the right words and meaning. Pink is for the ladies and light yellow is for the gentlemen. Every year, my friends, including children and sometimes grand parents, received different cards from me. My wordings depict their background and personality. I always tried to send cards that had meaning to them. The cards must inspire and encourage them. Like I said, words are powerful.

I was so surprised, I have friends who kept and treasured my cards for years. One lady doctor whom I have known for 25 years, has 25 different birthday cards, all kept in her personal drawer. I had unintentionally created jealousy within husband and wife for receiving my cards, because they had forgotten their birthdays themselves. However, I know they still love to receive cards from me. The best birthday card isn't the one that you buy over the counter or the one you got it printed, but the one written on a piece of plain paper written with our sincere heart.

This was one birthday note, written to one of my friend's daughter many years ago;
My dear Sin Yin,
Happy birthday to you today. Time passes so fast and here I am again. You were telling me last year was a bad one, bcos you didn't do well in your study. Now you are in Std 6. You have to work even more harder for this coming year end exam . Please try and do well. Do you know, your dad & mum always have high hope on you. Dad works very hard as well. He told me, he works for the sake of you. He wants to give you the best education. He wants to fulfill your dreams. They really love you a lot my dear. I know you would do well bcoz you are smart to me.
Signed..Uncle Robert.

I never knew that simple birthday note was so inspiring to this little girl then. Although her family was poor, Sin Yin managed to complete her accountancy degree and working successfully today to support their parents. She still keeps my note and proud to show it to most of her friends. See! Words could inspire.

Most people think that sending birthday cards are just routine work. If you were to send for the sake of sending, you would not do it for long. On the hand, if you did it out of joy and satisfaction, you would do it for life. Sincerity and kindness could be felt. I love sending birthday cards because at least once a year, my heart could reach each and every of my friends. Be they, the young or the old one.

I can't be doing big things like these people. My Boss, the CEO of Prudential has to lead a number One insurance company. Like my friend, Dr Hanjeet medical researcher cum doctor who saves lives. Like my friend, Hizam a financial consultant who handles millions of fund. My son, Alvin who works in Shanghai who manages a Chinese Corporation of few hundred employees. My friend, Abdul Rahim, an Engineering Consultant who provides advices to the industries. Sathurutheen, my friend, an IT engineer who represented a reputable IT company.

All you guys and many not mentioned, could do great things whom I admire and respect. As for me, I could only do small little things. Like touching and reaching to people I know. Sincerely I try to make them happy. At the same times, applying the facts of life to encourage them to go for an extra mile to succeed in life.

My total belief; "The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be because of you!

Ethics and Attitude for successful selling

"Shoddy work could be the tip of iceberg," said Tan Sri Ramon Navarathnam. The recent collapse at three new government buildings is symptomatic of the state of deterioration in standards, quality, productivity and efficiency in our country. There's too much concern to make quick buck and too little attention given to professionalism.

These news are frightening and could be bad for our developing nation. Everyone of us has intention to make quick bucks, including my profession. Most life insurance agents who came into this career, have the desire to succeed by the fastest ways. Their attitude is wrong because nothing is easy in the making, unless you are prepared to work hard and to learn at the same times. When they first came into this profession, money was the main drive to work. Many could have been carried away with the initial glamour and recognition. Without passion and understanding, they later realised it was difficult to continue. Most dropped out from the second years onwards or could be struggling. Sometimes greed leads to unprofessional practises in their selling, which could tarnish our industry. All insurance companies are professional in their undertaking but is only the unprofessional and unethical agents who professed wrongly in our industry.

Perhaps relating a true story would explain a clearer picture. Three years ago, one rookie agent who was at his mid-twenty then, joined our industry. He was excited with this new career. He was promised a bright future plus quick and easy bucks. The glamour and incentives were too tempting for him to resist. He resigned from his bank executive job to become an insurance agent. After knowing him, it was very thoughtful of him to text message me with these meaningful words, "The Beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be..because of you." I was so inspired by his understanding of life, thinking that this young man could be the future bright star for his company. However, three years later on one public holiday, I accidentally met him in one coffee shop. He told me he no longer works as full time but rather as part-time in selling life insurance now. He claimed the first year was a fruitful and a productive year for him, but gradually he found selling insurance was extremely difficult. He had forgotten the "Beauty of Life" which he had sent to me. He had lost the warmness and passion of knowing people. During these three short years, he was influenced with glamour rather than sacrifices. Instead of being encouraged to offer 'care and concern' to his clients, he was persuaded to bring back more sales. Instead of preaching 'love and understanding', he was motivated by recognition and incentives. Perhaps, greed was the root of his failure, when I thought he could be The True Star for his company.

When I came home, I managed to retrieve his old text message. Pondering what I should do, I sent him this message; "Young man, I would like to return this proverb to you. I think you need it more than me now. I had benefited abundantly from it. Thank you for sending such meaningful words 3 years ago. I returned herewith...'The Beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be because of you."

Tan Sri Ramon was right, shoddy work would never stay. In order to be professional, we need to have the right ethics and attitude in all our doing. More so for our growing and developing country, Malaysia.

Are you proud to be a salesperson?

I have been selling life insurance for the past 25 years. During this period, I had seen countless of agents recruited into this industry but most failed to last and stayed permanently. Life insurance is a noble product which is accepted but should be sold in the proper manner by our agents. Hopefully by adding some advices on my blog, my fellow colleagues can have a better chance to survive in this profession.

Insurance agent is basically a salesperson. Most people are not proud to be addressed as a salesman. Once you have that negative thought, you would find difficulties to sell and approach people. Many prefer to name themselves as Financial Advisor or Consultant, but they would never introduce themselves as an insurance salesman or saleslady. I think they considered salesperson as the lowest profession of all careers. Not me! I tell the whole world that I am only a salesman selling life insurance. For I am proud to be one. The 40 years of selling, rewarded me with respect from my clients. Not once, did my clients degraded me but rather they are so proud that I am an insurance salesman.

The biggest mistake of our agents is; "they are very well verse in knowledge pertaining to insurances but they are the least knowledgeable in selling themselves." If you are knowledgeable in the insurance product, I would term you as an insurance personnel. Those from the management, like the CEO to the lowest office executives are all considered as insurance personnel too. They are equally knowledgeable in insurances but just that they don't sell like an agent.

The first duty of an agent is not to sell his product but rather to know, how to sell himself to others. Selling to friends and relatives are not considered as selling. They buy merely to help you. Those easy sales are transacted more like orders taking and not true needs.

A professional sale person has a skill, who can market himself to everyone he encounter. The minute he meets a new prospect, he can create excitement, humour and a sense of confidence. He reflects a charismatic charm towards his new approach who automatically likes his confident personality. Within a shortest time, he can build trust and liking, when the new friend shall feel the sincerity in him. Once he can reach this level, the prospect would be too eager to listen further. This is what I called, "Do you know how to sell and market yourself before you sell your company's products?"

Is easy to be an insurance agent but isn't easy to be an insurance salesperson. If you are interested to be an effective sale person, please don't hesitate to write to me. I would be too happy to further highlight this subject.

American sees Malaysia as Paradise

In the course of my work selling life insurance, I was introduced to an American who has been residing in Malaysia for 28 years. He was then 24 years young, met one of our local pretty Muslim girl of 18 and got married at the first sight. They have three children all grown up. For some reasons unknown to me, he divorced his wife eleven years ago.

I met him through his elder daughter who had intention to purchase insurance for his dad. As I was trying to understand him, I was surprised he has no intention what so ever to return home to America. Although he has been staying here for this long, he was not granted a PR status or a Malaysian citizenship. In fact, he had not returned home for the past seventeen years. Currently he still holds a social immigration passport, which needs him to leave the country every three months. For his convenient, he crosses over to Singapore and re-enter to Malaysia again. He has a simple American Restaurant plus playing Rock music in Malacca.

What really impressed me was, he never complained any inconvenient staying in Malaysia. He loves our country, our environment, our people of the various races and cultures, our great varieties of food, our green landscape and our friendly nation. He could speak some Hokkien and Bahasa was marvellous. He behaves just like a true Malaysian.

Comparing him to many of us who complained and criticised, I felt so shameful of myself. Many young Malaysians who always have these remarks; There are discrimination, opportunities are scarce, education system is rather weak, inefficiency of our country bureaucracy and more.

Would like to relate one example. Mr X is one of my good friend who drives a brand new Mercedes and staying in a fairly up market location in KL. Although he was brought up by a poor family who runs a hawker store, X managed to complete his studies with a diploma. He started as a computer salesman but today he owns an IT company. Married with three lovely children. I considered him to be successful. However when I last met him, he told me that he is preparing to migrate to Canada with his entire family. He expressed his dissatisfaction of being a Malaysian and he wanted to give himself a chance to try from abroad.

I am sure you guys would have heard alot of these similar stories. One thing that really doubts me; "why are you not happy when you are doing even better than you parents in the first place!" Their parents were illiterates but yet they could support them to what they are of today. Whereas today. they are educated and smart, they claimed there are no opportunity for them now.

My beliefs in life are correct; "If one only sees with eyes and mind, perhaps one would be blind. If one could see together with one's heart, eyes and mind, the world would be more beautifully seen."

My friend, The American has no luxury in life, yet he doesn't complain, contented and found Malaysia as a land of paradise. What a funny contrast, he wants to be here but most of us what to be there. Perhaps the other side of the pasture is always greener.

This famous happiness quote by Bette Davis could be the answer for all our dissatisfaction and frustration in life; "You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation."

Thai Massage

Quite recently I received a text message from a childhood friend. It was written more like a joke; "Good News! Massage parlour at Old Klang Road where we used to patronize 35 years ago has reopened. But the Bad News! The old lady masseurs are still around lah."

Yes! I had been massaging for the past 35 years and I still love it. Those days, the Old Klang Road would be the most popular location for massage. The parlours would be identified by the dime lighted red lanterns at the front. One would not miss them because they would be spread all over this road. Each parlour would be flocked by dozen of local Chinese women who so called themselves as masseurs. In fact, they hardly knew how to massage comparing to our present standard of professional massaging. They were there to 'cari makan' only and we were too innocent to know what was right or wrong in the first place. Those days the charges was dirt cheap, between RM8 to RM10 per session for one hour.

I had travelled to most part of the world and I am proud to claim that I had almost tried all types of massage. From all Asian to European and to American. Take my words, forget the European and the American. There are some massages that start from your head and end at the legs or some from the legs and end over the head. I think the later is better, because legs are more tiring than the rest of the body. We walk more than the rest of our body parts. Although the Asian is better than the rest of the world, I have to give credit to the Thai as the champion of massage. Thai masseurs are specially trained and they are awarded with their Ministry of Certificate to confirm their competence. They are very successful in this service mainly because they work with passion and dedication. They are proud to be a masseur and they make sure they give the best to their customers.

Massage is an art which has been in existence for centuries. Those old days, massage was meant for the Kings or for the war-lords. They believed it could improve on blood circulation and I agree with them. Today you don't have to be a king to have a good massage. You don't even need to fly over to Thailand to have one because Thai Massage is available all over our land now.

In case you have not tried once, please take some of my following tips before you try. Try to avoid the young pretty masseurs. They are not experience yet. Pretty one always does lousy job because they thought they are always in demand. After all you are not there to khawin them, so pick the older masseurs who have more experiences. Don't judge their face look but rather their hands. The broader their hands and arms, the more they are good at their massaging. Good masseurs should have worked more than 5 years in the trade. A good massage should have some degree of mild pain on your body. Without this mild pleasurable pain, then this is not massaging at all. If you happened to enjoy a good massage, remember to give the deserving lady a tip. You be surprised, your next trip would be even more sensational than the first.

If any of my readers do not know where to have a good massage, please write to me and I would take you to the right place. Of course! It has to be under your account.