Purity, love & peace

"Where there is no love, there cannot be peace. Where there is no purity, there cannot be love."

This is a short proverb relating to life but it has so much meaning, which could be helpful to many who are at lost in their day to day living. It is most applicable to my fellow colleagues who many a time came personally to seek my assistance and advice. I would try my level best to write in words and let it open to the world to read.

The first sentence of the proverb could be understood as; you would be a disturbed person when you are not happy in life. When you are not a happy person, you would lack love in your self. Only person who has a loving heart could see the world beautifully. When the world you see is beautiful, you could manage your life well. The people you associate with, would like you because you are different in personality. Your family and your loved one would live in harmony with you. You should enjoy your work and success could be achieved. However, when you have no love and not happy at the same time, your mind would not live in peace or whatever you do could seem unpleasant to yourself and to others. The reason is, your mind is being disturbed.

The second sentence is, "Where there is no purity, there cannot be love." Purity of the mind comprises of many feelings. Do you have hatreds, anger, greed, jealousy, temptation, cheat, dishonesty or ill-thoughts in your mind? If you have all these negatives in your mind, you would never have purity in thinking. Once you have no purity, your heart would have no love.

Purity of mind is a blessing. Not all people would have it. Perhaps there are those who might have started with purity in lives but due to environment and circumstances, they would also be affected or losing their purity in thought. Especially due to working condition when one doesn't know how to manage time.

Let me relate one typical case. Miss A is a single parent who has two children and a mother to support. Her previous occupation was a full time secretary when she was happy, devoted, spiritual inclined, purity in thinking, calm and had plenty of love to offer. Couple of years back, she was recruited to the selling world. Currently she is representing two different companies selling two different products. When she first started these careers, she was doing well because she had some friends to support her sales. However without her realising, handling two different companies and selling two different products are no joke. At the beginning it was easy because she need not service her clients but today her client's expectation is much higher. There are new rules and regulation enforced by the authorities, when she has to spend time to learn. Within her companies and agencies, it is compulsory that she has to attend all meetings and trainings. She has to meet monthly and yearly targets. She has to spend time with her growing children, fetching them to schools and tuition plus extra curriculum. Community services on Sunday as well.

Today she is an exhausted lady who is not doing well in both companies she works. Her charming spirit no longer shows. She is desperate to close cases by using any means. She is an arrogance and hot temper person now. Without her realising, she has multiple personalities, depending on when and where she is. She can be an angel to the one who gives her the sales but she can also be a devil at times. It is terrible to see her change so drastically. She has lost her purity of mind and true love of the heart has diminished. When love is not with her, her mind is always being disturbed. The peace is not in her. What a sad story to relate!

Whether it is a true story or not, it is up to my readers to believe. Any way, this is true facts of life that we have to be aware. I repeat; "Where there is no love, there cannot be peace. Where there is no purity, there cannot be love."

Birds have true love in them

I am fascinated by birds of their matching love. In any art or painting depicting birds, they are always painted by a pair. They would be flying together with love and faithfulness which man could not understand. Although man being smarter, they lack true love against birds.

If is true that God created the world with all kind of animals, birds, insects, man and others; why are we as smarter, yet could not be purer than birds. I could only self answer myself, as Adam and Eve both ate the forbidden apple, when the birds did not. Both them were throw out of Eden of Paradise but not the obedience birds. I think, birds are still staying in Paradise where innocent and emotion do not exist in them. They lead a care free lives without sin unlike human being.

As man, I had encountered endless love stories, with man and woman declaring their love between themselves. The woman could write to her lover, "I am more than willing to hold your hand in hard times, calm you in distress times. Offer my love and help you even when your pride may keep you from asking for it....muurscch!" It could sound affirmative with sweetness but from my experiences, emotion and circumstances could change the original intention of these love words later.

Imagine if I were a male bird, when I declared my love to my female,"Darling, I would love you for the better or for the worst, until end of the Universe!"...birds would honour every single word they said till death. Nothing could separate them. No emotion or under any circumstances could affect their true love. They are faithful by instinct and are very attached to each other. This is love of birds. How I wish, if only man could live like birds, then our world would have love and peace all round.

"Where there is no love, there cannot be peace. Where there is no purity, there cannot be love."

Tongue can excite

Mobile phone is a must in our day to day lives. Text messages are sent for purposes of communication and for amusement too. One message I received from the Philippine; "The Eyes are the organs of seeing. The ears are the organs of hearing. The nose is the the organ of smelling. The tongue is the organ of tasting the other organ."

In comparison to one Malaysian message, I received three years ago, which might be still on circulation; "The strongest muscle is a man's Tongue. It can raise woman's legs with just one lick. The lightest muscle is a man's Penis. It can be raised by a woman's Tongue."

Many would have received them too. Perhaps you might say now, "Ayah! I had seen them before. These are old stuffs lah!" The fact is, "Can you differentiate them?"

My insight to their words. The Philippine is more refine and gentle in personality. The Malaysian is rough and unpolished. Both are creative but the Malaysian is more courageous than the Philippine. Both have interest over sex but the Philippine is more romantic than us. We would be wild and aggressive on bed whereas they would be gentle and soft.

Funny isn't it! Words define your thoughts and character. There is a saying, "A picture is better than a thousand words." However when you have no picture, then words are still important in our lives.

Mobile phone is a nuisance!

Reading my son's blog, mobchina.blogspot.com on his recent, "2.7 billion mobile subscribers worldwide for 2006" is interesting. 2.7 billion representing 41.4% of human race is unbelievable.

I bought my first Atur's car phone, way back in 1985 costing RM13000. I was the first few in my company as an agent using car phone. It was a real prestige and status conscious of owning one those days. If ever you talked on the phone while driving, all eyes would be on you. Remarks like,"Wow! Car phone!" or "See! That guy is driving with a car phone."

Things changed today. The super successful or one with power, need not carry any mobile phone because they have PA or bodyguard to carry for them. Is only those who have not make it to that position need to carry one. Person like me or you, who are reading my blog now.

I think the usage of mobile phone could relate the personality and achievement of a person. For those youngsters who are not working yet, carrying the phone and not using them are already a pride. Deep down in their heart, they are happy and proud to hold a phone. They want the whole world to know that they have one. Without them realising, they are telling the adults that I am still a kid.

For those who are working and still struggling in life, carrying the phone is a must. Each time the phone rings or when a text message is sounded, they would get excited. They are not the least be disturbed by any calls or messages. More calls and messages are their survival in business or career.

On the hand, those who are living in the fast lane, find that the mobile phones are a nuisance. They need to carry one because they have to be very mobile. There are too many people who need to communicate with them. How they wish, when they could talk less on phone or without using them.

Likewise I mentioned earlier, if you are truly the successful one, your PA would carry one for you. Instead of being disturbed, your PA screen the in-calls for you first. So! The next time, you want to act successful, don't try to show your expensive phone but rather don't use any phone, then you are term as the successful one.

My wife had never carry any mobile phone before. Sad to say, lately she had been succumbed to carry one because for the sake of reaching her grand children is greater. I thought she was one powerful lady but not true either!

The IT & Communication have really changed the landscape of our world.

Exercising prolong sexual pleasure - final

No sportsmen could contest in any tournament, if they are not trained to be fit and well. Whether you are playing badminton or golf or a marathon runner, you need to train on stamina and strength endurance. Running the distance is a must to built stamina. Working out in the gym is to improve your strength.

The world asked, "What is the definition of exercising?" The International Sport Council responded: "Minimum 20 minutes of strenuous body movement of any kind. When the heart has to beat to a certain intensity rate, resulting into deep breathing and perspiring."

If this is the definition, the world asked an interesting question, "Is sexual intercourse considered as a form of exercising? There are many who could work on the bed by hours non stop. Their action and movement are like aerobic style. They have hard breathing and perspired energetically like a sportsmen. Their heart rate is definitely high."

Conclusion from the sport council, "Well! If both parties concerned, could work within our definition as specified, certainly this type of sexual intercourse is exercising."

Good news! My readers! The next round you are on bed, you know you are also exercising your heart and body. Of course, provided you could work within this specification. However can you be able to prolong your sex, if you do not have your stamina and strength. In order for you to last and perform, there is no short-cut on marathon sexual exercise. Training is the secret!

All marathon runners are discipline before they run the actual race. Are you? They trained to be fit and strong to last the distance. They know how to control their stamina for the two and half hours race. They reserved their strength till the last home turn before they burst their last breath to win. They have the experience as well. If you intend to run the marathon sexual race on bed, then you too have to train to be fit and strong first. Is it logical!

Dr Bob Delmonteque, currently 85 years young. His book Lifelong Fitness on his last chapter written, "One of the most exciting developments I've discovered in the research on hormones and aging is that you've got the ability to build your confidence and improve your love life through physical conditioning. Whether you're 40 and suffer from low self-esteem, or 60 and suffering from physical changes associated with aging, you don't have to be deprived of sexual enjoyment. Working out can lead to better cardiovascular response and better blood flow. Furthermore, sex requires a certain amount of stamina and muscle movement. Doesn't it make sense, then a physically fit person is guaranteed better sexual encounters and greater sexual enjoyment? "


Buy his book and you would see his posture yourself. Believe me, he has a lot of lady admirers and still can make baby, if he wants to even at this golden age.

Last tip for those who are keen on bed room exercise. Before you start the game on the bed, ten minutes of warming up is vital important. All marathon runners have to warm up first before they start the actual run. Otherwise they might not make the distance. So ladies and gentlemen, if you intend to have a long marathon, the trick is have your warming up first.

I hope the information works for you, especially the one who is reading my blog now. Try!

Exercising prolong sexual pleasure

I was never a sportsman before, until I turned 44 when I became serious in regular exercising. It was not easy at the beginning because stupid mind kept telling myself to delay, even I knew exercising was good for health. After going through these 16 years, I think I could share some advices and tips to my readers.

From books and friendly information gathered: there are three stages of awareness before one could reach a level of full commitment in regular exercising without distraction.

At stage one; you know exercising is important but some how or rather, the drive and interest isn't there to push you. Only at times for some good reasons, you might do some workout, run or play some form of games or sports with friends. The urgency won't be there. You might even consider exercising as a waste of time.

At stage two; you have developed a better habit to exercise. May be with some influence and encouragement from others. At times you could be serious working out long hours. However the danger is, sometimes certain excuses would lay you off. Once that happened, it is difficult to come back again.

At stage three; the regular exercise benefits your health for certain. You are convinced that exercising is part of living. Just like you need food to survive, and regular exercising keeps you strong and healthy. You are committed for life. From now onwards, you don't need persuasion and encouragement any more. You would feel guilty, if you do not exercise. Once you reach this stage of awareness, there would be no turning back. It is at this stage that one should try to reach for perfection.

It took me almost one year to reach stage three to exercise regularly. On three times a week, I won't fail to go to my gym in the club. I would run to strengthen my cardio-vascular and pump iron to build my muscle. Running improves stamina but is advisable to know the right way to run. Measure your heartbeats when you run. The younger you are, the higher your heartbeat should be when you are running. You can buy a heartbeat's wrist watch to time your run. You have to run at least 20 minutes for the heart to beat at the appropriate intensity to gain the optimum result. You might be walking or slow run for hours but not having the right intensity of heartbeat, your heart would not be properly regulated. If you are a normal healthy person, you would not feel dizzy while running fast or stopping immediately after a long run. Is good to check your recovery time on your heart after each run. If your heartbeats could return to normal after a rest of 3 minutes, you would be term as normal healthy person. I am sure your stamina would be good. Walking three floors up with a brief case isn't difficult for you then.

Strength exercise is equally important. This could be done by using iron workout in the gym. You can exercise according to your needs and physical weakness. The purpose is to build strength on to your physical parts. As we age, our body mass and muscle would soften. Strength exercise prolong and maintain the mass within us. Basically these are the two types of exercise for our body; heart exercise for stamina and strength for the body muscle.

My regular exercises had helped me tremendously in living and working. Many would wonder where I gained my strength and enthusiasm. It is the exercise that vitalize and energize my personality. I feel my present physical is much better than when I was younger. Wisdom mind of 60 and energetic body of a 37. What else should I ask for in life coz 'health is wealth.'
Long term exercising could improve and prolong sexual pleasure; The main aim in life for any normal person. Want to find out more on this interesting subject, please blog onto my next preview again. I assure you, you have a lot to gain and to laugh as well.

Just listen to your heart

This blog title is a reply for a special lady whom I admire. Annie is a very committed management staff with our company, who conducts training for our agencies. She asked whether I listened from my heart for inspiration to write.

Yes! My dear, not only I listen from my heart, but I also see with my eyes, and utilize my mind to think. Most people depend on their mind to work. Mind alone could be corrupted and eyes could deceive at times. Heart is pure. The combination of the mind, eyes and heart would be more profound.

Most younger people start with their eyes to seek for a better career. Normally they are carried away by the glamour they see. They look at all the attractive possessions others have; like expensive cars, luxurious home and classic holidays. Later they use their mind to create their own dreams to satisfy their desire. Mind alone could be dangerous because it corrupts. They could do things beyond imagination.

If the younger generation could understand to apply and listen with their hearts, their eyes and mind would reflect with a purer thought. Their character and behaviour would be more sincere and caring in nature. The logic is; the heart is the place where love resides. My belief, "The happy and loving heart of a person sees the world more beautifully." And when you have sincerity and concern, kindness would be shown. "Kindness is a language, when the blind can sees and the deaf can hears."

I wish all my fellow agents not only work with their eyes and mind but listen with their heart too. If you are, I am sure your life journey would be a pleasant one. Best of luck to Annie and her branch.

The real competitors against life insurances

Many a time, I was approached by my fellow young life insurance agents with these questions; "How do we encounter other insurance companies?" or "How to beat the other agents or plans?" or "How to be better than all other competitors?"

I was surprised they asked these questions. The life insurance industry is always remained as one product sold by various insurance companies. Just that different companies market this one product in various styles and approaches. We should not be competitors within ourselves. Our real competitors are from other industries, who make consumers to spend rather than to make them save. When a prospect claims he has no money left or he is financially tight, I would take it that other industry players are working faster than ours. People need to earn but equally they need to spend to make the world market moves. Let see, how other industries sell and market their products.

Look at the motor trade for instance. They spend so much on their advertisement plus incentives to tempt all working people. How to resist the branding of the BMW or the Mercedes! All level of workers would have dreams to purchase such classical cars. Even you might not have made it now, you would still be influenced to buy a brand new Poton for instance. I only drive an old Honda but many of my fellow colleagues are already doubting me. Luckily I still have my wife and girl friends who are still proud to sit in this old junk with me.

What about the expensive new houses available to the taste of those young working couples. They would squeeze their hard earned salaries, borrowed on long term, scarified decent food to meggie mee, just to live in style. When their friends come over to their luxurious home, they pretended to be rich and successful. In fact, they are living in misery, because their accounts are always tight in budget.

Look at the way Malaysian travel abroad. You would be shocked to know the percentage of our tourists against the Japanese going abroad. The Japanese has less than 5% over their population as oversea tourists. Whereas we are at more than 30%. We spend more, when we earn less against the Japanese, who earn more and spend lesser. Frightening!

I can go on to tell you more but the above information are good enough for us to realize the different. Fellow colleagues, our real competitors are not the various insurance companies you are looking at. It is those who sell cars, houses, holidays, etc are our real competitors. So the next round, you meet a prospect who has been approached by another fellow industry colleague, please encourage him to buy from that agent who come first. Unless prospect is not satisfied with him or the company he represented.

Move on to another prospects who might need your help. If we are slow, perhaps the real competitors would easily be able to sell their products faster than us. Their products are tangible and could be seen. Ours are intangible which could only be visualized. We sell hopes, inspiration and promises of the future. We are asking them to save rather than encouraging them to spend. Saving and spending are two different things. Ours are more noble in kind.

In life, there are more people who would ask you to spend than to save. I could only think of two types of person who would sincerely advise you to save on a long term basis. The first would be our parents who would never fail to encourage their children to save for the future. Next would be a committed life insurance agent who replaces the parent's role.

To be a sincere and committed life insurance agent, lets us follow the words from Napoleon Hill:

"It has always been my belief that a man should do his best, regardless of how much he receives for his services, or the number of people he may be servicing or the class of people served."

Secrets of longevity

There is a saying, listen to the wise old man and you won't be wrong. Quite sometimes back, I met a local 75 years old Chinese man who is strong, healthy and still working. He could be taken as 60 only. I asked him what was his secrets of good health. In Cantonese he replied, "Never control your inner three 'Yan' of ourselves."

According to him, every human being has three 'Yans'. I term them as calls of nature or the three urges of fluid secretion from our body. They are urinating, passing motion and sexual need.

He explained, when we need to urinate, don't hold back. Holding back all the times for too long, would be bad on our urinating function. Especially on a busy working day. They develop stones in our gall bladders and renal system. Urine is toxic secretion.

Similarly when we need to pass motion, do it immediately if possible. Long term delay could cause constipation and inflammation of our colons. Stools are bowel waste which have to be discharged regularly.

Logically it is understood that the above calls of nature have to be accepted by virtue of medically proven. What surprised me is the last call of nature on sexual need, as he claimed is even more important.

According to him, whenever we have the urge or desire for sex, it relates that our bodies are actually healthy. The desire has to be energized. When man and woman have sex together, he ejaculates and she gets an orgasm. Both would secrete sperm and fluid at the same times. If sex is done, we gain contentment and satisfaction but if we hold it back, frustration and tension would be replaced.

We need food and water to live and to survive. Eating and drinking are in-flow energy. There is an Universal Law; 'what goes in has to come out! & what goes out has to come back!' Urinating and passing motion are out-flow energy. If we continue to eat and consume without discharging our waste, our body would be toxic and turn to be unhealthy in life. Indirectly it is against the law of nature or the law of universe.

At the same time while we are living in this world, we face a lot of hardship and obstacles. These are term to be in-flow energy of stress and tension. To release these unseen stress and tension, we need sex to distress ourselves. Sex is considered as out-flow energy. It keeps your bodies harmonize and at peace.

Believe them or not, are up to you! The fact is, we have a living legend of 75, who is still working and proud to show around his girl friend of 50 at age. An achievement for Malaysian standard.

His final advices, "Sex, hugging, touching, rubbing, kissing are good. They stimulate our bodies to produce its natural hormones which are needed for good health and longevity."

Conclusion; don't hold back your urges. Piss as much as possible! Shit wherever you want! Screw when you have the desire! You could live a longer and healthier lives. Applicable to male and female.

Lembu pun mau!

In case, some readers who might have missed reading this gila news from the Star;

Headline - "Elderly man's advances on young cow end badly."

Phnom Penh: An unsuccessful sexual advance by an elderly Cambodian man on an unwilling young heiler ended when the bovine fought back, kicking him to death, reported by police.

Khmer-language daily Kampuchea Thmey quoted authorities as saying that Ta Sam, 67 of Svay Rieng province had been divorced for just 10 days when his urges apparently overcame him in the middle of the night with tragic consequences.

Sounds of scuffle caused the man's grandson to investigate, whereupon he found Ta Sam's naked body lying under the family's frightened cow, with injuries to his head and genital area consistent with being kicked by the beast.

Police concluded he died in a rape attempt gone wrong. Ta Sam had been divorced twice, with both wives citing his insatiable desires as the cause.

It said police did not expect to take any action against the cow, as she appeared to have been acting in self-defence.

WoW!! I can't believe reading them. What an insane man!

Moral of the news: Man always needs woman. Perhaps until the day we died or unless those are not healthy in lives might not need woman. Love more of our wives or girl friends coz they are very important to our lives. Otherwise we might turn to animals or seek the unwilling cow like the above.

A little proverb given by my naughty son: "The greatest achievement for a man is to be able to conquer two women and make them fall in love madly with him passionately. One is a wife and the other is a girl friend. You can even be happier by never allowing these two women to meet. Then you are truly a wonderful happy father and a good lover."

Ta Sam should have read this proverb and he might still be alive! Instead he died with a silent death of frustration.

Secret admirer makes my day!

Finally, there are more readers who had the courage to reveal and to comment on my recent title; "Pre & Post Love Relationship". One of my secret admirers, beautifully expressed her or his thoughts. I had a strong feeling by reading your words, you are a charming sweet lady. Thanks for your comments my dear. You really make my day!

You started with these meaningful words, "Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and end with a tear." Most of us fall into that way of lives. Hoping that there are better lovers to come. From my experience, the better lover is no other than yourself first. In the first place, ask yourself whether you truly understand the word 'LOVE.' If you assume that you depend on fate or luck to get the right person, then you have a 50 to 50 percent chances of reaching that love. However, if you understand the facts of life and truly a loving person in nature, I think you would definitely get the man of your choice.

Believe this phrase spoken widely; "Is easy for woman to get men, but is not easy to get the man you love." Don't let your eyes to blind you, neither let your mind to deceive your false emotion. Ask your man why he loves you. If he could not explain what is true love, then sorry to say, that is not the man who really loves you.

Love has its magic and miracle. If you do have your right man; love him truly, love him with excitement, love him for the better and for the worst together. I am sure you would be happy for the rest of your lives. Wish you best of luck with your love.

I am a good naughty man

The other day, I received a text message, "How you manage to keep yourself young?"

I replied in short, "Young is naughty and old has forgotten to be naughty. Luckily I still remember how to be naughty!" I wonder whether that young person understood.

The funny part of life; "Is excusable to be naughty when you are young, but not when you are old." But the fact is, if you had forgotten to be naughty when you are old, how could you be getting younger. Right?

Most older person don't like to be old. They might pretend to be happy in some way. Deep down in their heart, believe me, they are sad. Especially the female who would spend a fortune to look younger and prettier. A lot would claim that they feel young at heart. Saying is easy but translating your words into action is difficult.

To feel young, action has to be applied. That's where courage and braveness come to play. My first naughtiness is; dare to say that I am actually young in heart and mind. I hate to look at my IC age of 60 but my gut felt heart age last years was 38 and this year is turning 37 only. I had beaten my elder son's age in term of my current heart age of 37. Don't believe me, you could ask him. Any one could blog onto his site at: mobchina.blogspot.com to confirm with him.

I go to the gym three times a week. Run and pump iron, whereas the retirees only have slow walk. My physical is much better than those at 40 and above. All the female members love to befriend me. What the young male can do, I think most likely I could do better.

Most of my peers and the older friends whom I called them as uncle, are too serious in life. They use to stare and disturb girls when they were young. Not now when they want to be respectful in old age. Not me definitely! To me as I always profess, "Man needs woman all the time", I love to have the accompany of pretty ladies around.

Ladies are the wonder created by God. If you know how to reach them, they would energize man with a feeling of happiness. I can't imagine if the world is created with only man and no woman. Their friendship and liking make me feel young. Naughtiness is part of life from man to make female likes man. One better word to use: do you have the 'Charisma' of a man that woman likes? Perhaps add another word, "Good Naughty Man".

A good naughty man would have fun but at the same time has the heart of others as well. Goodness comes in the form of offering encouragement and advises. I have the mind of a wise old person but a body of a young naughty man. My way of life might not be the same for every person but I truly hope my sharing could benefit those that think it works.

Quote by Dr Ellen Kenner:

Happiness is not merely a life lived by accumulating moments of pleasure. On the contrary, happiness is a long lasting enduring enjoyment of life, it is being in love with living. It is your reward for achieving a good character and personal rational values in life. Some important values are a productive career, romance, friendship and hobbies.

Comments from Debbie on Love

I am glad that I had one brave lady, who commented on my recent article, "Pre & Post Love Relationship." Thanks Debbie for your interest and support.

There were many friends who emailed to me, regarding this subject. I rather wish they would forward their thoughts onto the comment for others to read as well. I think most Malaysian are shy to reveal their sharing.

I might not be an expert to advise matters on love, but from my personal experiences in life, I would like to offer some sharing to Debbie and others to ponder.

In life, one could gather knowledge and wisdom only when one is much older. Most of the time when we were young; "We thought we know, but we actually don't know. It is only, when we know that we don't know, then we would know that we really don't know".

How I wish, I could start life all over again with the wisdom of my present to live a new young self. I am trying very hard. As I had worded on my profile section, "I was 38, turning 37 this year". My children would agree that I am a better person in love now.

Some of the wisdom given to me not when I was at 20 but rather at 40. Have you been told, "Married not to a person you love. Rather married to a person you can't live without" or "An ideal couple would be one that listens and the other talks". Further more, when we were young, we hardly understood the real meaning of love. We were blinded by our eyes and feeling. The knowledge was never written to guide us, neither did our parents tell us, what love is all about. Did they relate to you that: "Love is patience and is kind. Doesn't envy. It does not boast and is not proud. It is not rude without self seeking. Is not easily angered. Keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres". They did not express all these to us because they were not sure either.

I am sure, if we truly understand the beauty of love, we would always be able to over come all obstacles of our love journey. To upkeep the enthusiasm and intense passion during or after courtship depend on your understanding of life. There are many who refuse to change but those who are, would definitely be seeking the magic of love ever after.

A poem specially written to Debbie: "Game Of Love"

In the game of love - It doesn't really matter who won or who lost.

When you think of your last love,

You may view it as a failure.

But when you found a new love,

You view the past as a teacher.

Love will always find a way.

Will always win.

Losing sex drive

What a coincidence! Today I posted an article as 'Pre & Post Love Relationship', relating the after effect of having a relationship, Star Nation's headline was, 'We're losing that loving feeling.'

The news were written; Although most Malaysian agree that sex is important, fewer than two in five (38%) of them are satisfied with their sex lives. According to the latest Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey 2007/2008 report, loss of romance and sexual prowess are key factors for the lack of sexual satisfaction. SSL Healthcare Malaysian general manager Voong King Yee said; "Many Malaysian have lost interest and romance, which explains why they are not fully enjoying their sex lives Sex plays a fundamental role in our physical and emotional well-being. Thus, it is important that we protect and nurture our sexual health as well as that of our partner's." He added that 64% of Malaysian would like more intimacy and better communication with their partner. Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi pointed out that people could also improve their sex lives and sexual satisfaction by spending more time with their partners, distressing and introducing more romance into their sex lives.

"The Ability to talk things out with your partner can lead to an emotional relationship filled with love and respect, which can then lead to ultimate sexual pleasure."

With these news and information, my personal observation regarding the different of pre and post love relationship is true and logical. Pre love period is full of romance, whereas post love has sorrow and misunderstanding. Hopefully, we the Malaysian could improve to be better lovers. Make love not war!

"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow" for the couples who are in love. This happy thought is a Swedish proverb.

Pre & Post Love Relationship

Love is a very important part of our life. Many friends encouraged me to blog this subject and let it be opened for deeper discussion. Perhaps from sharing and learning, we can be better lovers. I sincerely hope, my words and ideas would not be in any ways offending any readers. Please take it with a laugh, haha! or hihi! Agree?

In the first instance, do we actually know the meaning of LOVE? I am doubtful myself too! In The Oxford Dictionary, it is written as fondness, warm affection; sexual passion; sweet-heart or object beloved. I could spell and express all the meaning of it from the wisdom world; Love is patience, is kind, doesn't envy, it does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres. Are we sure, Love would not fail?

Many a time, when a man and a woman have interest and feeling for each other, they would bound to have love and affection. In order for the man to win his woman, he has to give the best of himself. He can go for miles to meet her. He can buy countless roses to attract her. He can wait with patience until the sun sets and yet he won't grumble. He is kind to offer all assistance to make life easier for her. His voice is humble and would not raise to scare her in any way. He is a gentleman who would honour his words. Under any bad circumstances, he would not get upset but smiles all through. There would never be any wrong of her in his mind. He would try romantically to win her, until she say, "Yes! Darling I love you." Would you agree, this part of affection as the 'Pre-love' period, when everything is perfect or fits well into the definition of love as specified as from the above?

Similarly, the woman who has feeling over her man, the 'Pre-love' period would be too good to be true. She would show her charm and feminine to the best of herself, whenever she sees him. After all, is woman attraction that tickles the mind of man. Her voice is sweet and tender. Her attention towards him is focus. She is a good listener and she shows all keen interest to learn from him. She does not mind to spend hours and yet time is like too short to be together. She would be too proud to stand tall with him. She wants her hands to be held firmly. Hugging and kissing would be the next. She wants a lot of attention from him. She doesn't mind to be disturbed, day or night, week day or weekend. She likes to be teased and cuddled. Is this LOVE!

Things changed when "I LOVE YOU" is finally declared by both couples. I would term this period as 'Post-Love' from now onwards. Now that the woman is his lover, would he still be as loving as Pre-Love stage. Look around ourselves. Ask around to verify from couples you know. Ask the husbands or wives. Or even ask yourself, if you are already married or having a lover. Are we a better lover during the pre-love or post-love period?

Now that both claimed to be truly in love when the forbidden apple had been eaten, what happened now. During this post period, did the man still gave the best of himself to her. Did he run the extra miles for her now like before? Did he forgets to send her a rose? Was he still having the patience to wait or he just disappeared for no reason given. Did he raise his voice when he was upset with her? Did he complain and criticise, until she cried like a baby and he still not bothered? Was his romance as wild as before? He had forgotten the meaning of love?

What happened to the ladies on post-love period! Did she take the effort to look as charming for him?Did she speak with the same sweet and tender voice to tickle her man? Had she given the same attention and focus? Did she remain as good listener or "Aiyah! don't talk so much lah. I need to get up early." Would she like to be hugged and kissed more. Or she said, "Stop it! I am tired!" Is this love my readers?

Is very obvious to notice the different of the Pre & Post Love stage of couples. At pre stage, love was expressive and spiced with romance and excitement, but at post stage, it was totally the different. I am still pondering why are we behaving such an opposite manner. If we spend time in any doing, we can improve our doing with experience. Meaning; if we work long enough with a job, we would be better on it. Surprisingly not on falling in love. Before we fell in love, we were better lover by instinct but when we became real lover, we lost our instinct to be a true lover.

Some said, the causes is due to taking for granted from each other. Or perhaps there are more forbidden apples still available in this world. I am not sure either but if my interested readers could offer some comments, we might see a way to correct our weaknesses toward the complication of love relationship.

There is a short proverb I won't forget; "You think you know, but you do not know. For when you know that you do not know, you would know that you actually do not know!"

Would appreciate, if comments could be given for further expansion on this subject.

Abdul Rahim's comments

Thank you Abdul Rahim. Your comments on my recent title, "Blind But With Determination" is very well written regarding Donation. I hope all my readers would take a little extra of their time, to blog onto that meaningful words of wisdom, contributed by this wonderful friend. I am glad we shared. Thanks again.

seeing & feeling offer happiness

This short story was related to me when I was a child of five. It helps me to understand the simple way of life.

Once upon a time, there were two families staying next to each others. One was rich and the other was poor. The one who was rich but his family was rather thin. Surprisingly, the other one who was poor, his family was stronger and healthier.

One day, the rich asked the poor, "What do you eat at home to be stronger than us?" The poor replied, "Sir, we are poor people. We can't afford to eat like you. Everyday we could only have porridge and ikan bilis for lunch and dinner."

The rich was astonished, "We eat meat, vegetables and rices and yet all of us are much thinner. Where had we gone wrong, my friend?"

The poor continue, "Sir, each time your family have meals, we would be ready to have ours at the same time. Because your aroma and smell of those tasty, cooked food from your side, gave us appetite to eat more."

The rich was shocked with anger, "What! You stole my aroma of the essence from my cooked meals. Now I know, why we are not growing because you stole the best part of our food. I am going to sue you for stealing."

At the court, the entire story was explained to the listening judge. The Judge passed a judgement, "Yes, poor I found you to be guilty for stealing. I fine you for RM1000 which you have to pay now."

The poor was sad, "My Lord! I don't see the logic and I don't have these kind of money to pay."

Incidentally the Judge stood up and handed over RM1000 cash to the poor. He instructed the poor to count the money one by one. He had to say it aloud to make sure the exact of 1000 was counted correctly. When the cash was fully counted, the Judge took his cash back. "Well! you both can go back not. The case is fully settled for good."

The rich was confused. He thought, the Judge was so kind to pay the fine on behalf of the poor."So what happened now." The Judge explained, "The poor smells your aroma food. He compensated by counting the 1000 ringgit. You heard his count isn't it?"

The moral of this childhood story; "A beautiful world could be seen with a happy heart." Possession alone can't make a person happy. A right mental thought, a positive look in life and a feeling of acceptance are all facts of life to make us happier.

God wants us to win with pains

Specially to a wonderful friend, Abdul Rahim whom I have known for 15 years. I had found a meaningful poem, which might be useful to you.

"Winning horse doesn't know why it runs in race.

It runs because of beats and pains.

Life is a race, God is your rider.

So if you are in pain, think God wants you to win."

Life has its up and down. More so, if you are a good man but face with a lot of obstacles in your present life journey. Especially towards the later part of our lives. We face next challenges and we have to accept changes as well. Friends we thought were sincere, played us out. Business that supposed to come our way, was taken away by unethical practises. Accounts to be credited to us were delayed for no reason. Our loved one, fell sick and we needed to pay the medical bills. All expenses rose up but income fell. I know these hardships are terrible for us to face.

If you could read another few more times of the above poem, I assure you, your belief and faith would change to be stronger. The pains that we are shouldering are God given. He knows you are a good man. He just wants to test your final journey, whether you could accept and overcome those pains. Don't forget here is not heaven. In order to qualify ourselves for that destination, can we take the pains of life.

We have the knowledge and wisdom, I believe we could make the best of what we have and be the final winner at the end of this journey. May God bless you but take the pains whole heartedly!

Richness comes with stupidity

Which is the best way to save? To most people, they prefer to save in the bank which is considered to be safe and convenient.

Not for Ahmad, who saved his life saving in his own home, a wooden hut. Ahmad was a boatman residing in Batu Pahat where a river flows through. 40 years ago, there was no bridge built yet. The locals had to depend on boats or sampans to ferry across this river. Ahmad earned his livelihood by boating his sampan. Per crossing was only 10 cents per head.

30 years ago, the Malay Mail newspaper advertised in their headline; "Sampan man died with RM30,000 cash found in his hut." Ahmad was unmarried, he had ferried people across this river for 40 years. Each day with what ever collection left over in coins or notes, he would slip this cash into a big clay pot sunken to the ground in his wooden hut. He had no saving account what so ever with any bank or perhaps he did not trust any bank for a reason. Because he did not left any next of kin at death, the religion authority was instructed upon to clear his belongings. While they were at his wooden home, they were surprised by accident, found this huge amount of cash in the hidden pot. Not forgetting RM30,000 was a lot of money those days.

The joke was; if Ahmad would have kept his money in the bank plus interest, he might not have this much of saving compared to saving in his hidden pot. The logic is; can you save in the bank and not taking it out to spend for the next many years. With today's convenient of the ATM, practically one could withdraw cash at any time and at any place in town. The hidden pot offered no yearly interest to Ahmad, but he could only deposit and he could not withdraw. Because of the inconvenient of taking money from this big pot sunken under the ground, allowed him to save more and more gradually.

We would have laughed at him for his stupidity and innocent but he could also have laughed at us for being smarter but yet being poor. I had been telling this amazing story to many younger people. However we don't need to be like Ahmad to save by such a traditional and uncertain way. Neither should we be influenced by the temptation of the convenient to save in the bank. Today, we have the insurance products, where your saving is like hidden in the sunken pot. You save according to your mode and pattern. You plan in advance for the future and not to withdraw as and when you like. Your sincere and committed agents would help and monitor your progress. When you are doing well, your agents would encourage you to save more. If for some reasons, you do need to cash out your saving, your agents provide the ears to listen and offer alternative solution. Not forgetting again, by saving through insurance, it creates another estate over your investment. Perhaps, Ahmad was not so lucky then. Because nobody at that time had told him, Insurance was still the better option to save in the long run.

If you are a wage earner and want a sure way to save for the future, my recommendation is to seek a reliable life insurance agent, who would create a suitable plan for you.

"Happiness is a positive cash flow."

Answer to Christ Tiew's comment.

I am glad readers are adding comments onto my blog. If you read without participating, you would not remember what you had read. However, if you read and offer opinion, most likely you would understand your reading. The understanding would be stored in your inner third stage memory of your brain. I have a girl friend who had attending endless seminars, talks, sermons, training and reading stuffs, but she didn't apply her inner stage of mind to store whatever she had learnt. Today, I don't think she had actually learnt any thing that is worth to be used and to progress in her working world. She had forgotten what she had read or learnt.

One of my readers, Christ Tiew commented on my recent subject, 'Tipping reflects your personality'. He asked,"These days many establishments charge 10%. Is this tip shared amongst the staffs, just like tips or taken by the management."

Your answer: our normal 10% tips on the bills are collected by the management and to be shared among all working staffs in their entire establishment. The seniors would earn a higher points than the waiters who serve us on the table. Meaning, the take home tips for the managers would be greater than the guys who actually serve us.

If you think, the waiter attending to you is good, friendly and efficient, tip him personally and thanks him for the good services given. Or you can even write the extra tips on signing your credit cards, but you have to instruct the cashier that these extra are to be given to the specify waiter. I can assure you, your token of appreciation would be greatly accepted with thought. You offer hope, encouragement plus inspiration to these young waiters. The next round when you do come back to their place to dine or to drink, you would be treated like a special VIP. Christ, can you see the logic. You and me, need encouragement in life to push ourselves to go further. What about them?

Thanks again Christ Tiew for your comments. Happy reading.

In life:"You rub my shoulder, I rub your shoulder too."

Tasty Meal Joke

One of a joke extracted from my younger son's file. Sometimes younger people have more interesting stuffs than a growing up person like his dad here.

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen.The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man.""I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"

Moral of the joke; "Don't monkey with another monkey!"

Ruthless Malaysian Drivers.

By nature Malaysian is considered as friendly. All our various races live in harmony to the envy of the world. However when we drive on the road, we turn 'animal' with instinct to attack and to be ruthless.

I really don't understand why we behave such rude manner. Even myself, when I was younger I reacted rudely too when I drove. Today with some understanding of life, I have softened a lot but still not perfect yet lah. Have to confess here! May be bad habit is difficult to change. Don't forget, I am only at 38 and turning 37 soon. Still have the vigorous heart in mind.

I have a girl friend who is nice and spiritually a inclined person. When she is on the wheel, she would also lose her commotion without realising it herself. She would yell, point finger, attack and throw all four letters words to release her tension. At that moment, it was sad that she lost all her feminine charm as a lady. I hope, she won't be reading this. Hihi!

I have another similar example. My previous ex driver was innocently a young man. I employed him for his religious trust and honest behaviour. Shameful to relate, he was the same too. In fact, he could change his entire personality from soft to arrogant, when he was on the wheel. He was a good driver who followed rules and regulations. However, when another driver cut into his path, he would easily get agitated. Instead of giving way, he would resist and attack. The boss here also could not calm him down. No joke! This style of driving is dangerous, which causes the many motor accidents in our country. That is why our PM is having a big headache whenever our Malaysian goes 'balik kampong.' Pity the old man!

Incidentally I have an old classmate who had a stroke. He is still unmarried and had been a great judo expert cum instructor since school days. With his judo philosophically training and teaching, he should be a calmer and more of a controllable person. According to his girlfriend, he was like a crazy or a mad driver when he drove. He had this stroke while driving for he had been driving with stress for more than 40 years. What a pity! I wander whether he could still love his young girl friend now. Gentleman out there, be careful the way you drive. Othewise you might not see your girl friend too.

I had travelled to many Asian populated cities where their traffics are even much higher than us. Surprisingly, their motorists are more pleasant and well manner compare to us. They understand the language of good driving. Their attitude is right. They have things that we don't have. They know how to be patience and know how to relax when on wheel.

Regret to say, we Malaysian has dual types of personality. Friendly when not driving but when driving we are no longer friendly. High time Malaysian has to learn and to understand these two simple words; "Patience & Relax" Betul tak?

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Little money could be valuable

Money isn't money until you see and touch it yourself. This is one true story I would like to share with my readers.

20 years ago, I sold an endowment plan to a lady house keeper. She was 36 years old then, married with only one son. I remembered, when I was explaining the option and benefits of that plan at that time, the husband was not friendly and kept his distance from me. Those days, most life insurance plans were simple to cater to the undemanding consumers. The plan was for a cover of only RM20,000 with a yearly premium of RM1100 and maturing in the year 2007 April.

The lady was a simple person who was too happy to sign up for this plan. However the husband was very sceptical. He complained the premium was too high, the cover was too low and the 20 years was crazy, for it is too long the period to wait. She might not even be there to enjoy the cash at age 56. What more at that time on maturing, the money would be too small due to inflation. He commented as thought he was like an expert in economic.

Luckily the wife was positive and she knew what she wanted, signed our proposal later without the husband aware of it. During these 20 years, we developed a very cordial relationship. From client, we turned to be good and understanding friends.

Yesterday, exactly 20 years, without fail I took her full maturing payment to her home. She could not believe her eyes. The amount was written Ringgit Malaysia Forty Thousand Two Hundred only under her name. She is alive and I had promised that I would deliver no matter what happen! Her tears could be seen with emotion. She could not believe that time had passed by so rapidly.

I asked her, "Madam Tee, why are you crying?" You know what! She replied, "I should have taken your advise then. I regretted for taking less."

My conviction, no person in this world could say I don't need little money. When you are rich, you are blessed to have more, but when you are poor, the little money could be valuable as well.

"Even with a small bank account, the one who is contented finds himself with great wealth too."

Tipping reflects your personality

I did not know tipping could reflect one's character, until I had a chat with a hotel pub and restaurant supervisor. Richard has been working in the catering services for 30 years, understands what is tipping.

Tipping is to show an appreciation for services render. Most Malaysian are lousy tippers. They insist on best services but reluctant to tip or have no manner to tip. Internationally in most developed country, it is recommended to tip by a range of 5% to 15% whenever you are being served. Even if a waiter might not have given good services, it is still a manner to tip by the minimum. The minimum tip is to hint to the waiter, he isn't good at his job. If you offer a much higher tipping, you are appreciating his good services.

Most Malaysian are stingy and not generous in tipping. They could spend a lot on food & drinks, letting the restaurant owners make but try to avoid tipping. Not knowing the poor waiters depend on these extra tips because their basis salary are always very little.

According to Richard, there are many character and behaviour of a customer. Those who have very little thoughts for others, would not offer tip. They could be great pretender in life, claiming that they are generous or kind hearted, but the minute they tip by the bills, it would definitely reveal his true identity. When one does not have heart for others, he would be 'taking' more than 'giving.' He would only give, when he knows there is a gain by giving. Meaning, when he is surrounded with important friends or perhaps with his girlfriends; he would pretend to be generous by tipping lavishly. But his heart would have pain. This is another facts of life, "Give with joy or you would feel the pain."

Those who have heart for others are totally different. They appreciate any services render, especially if services are sincerely offered efficiently. They tip with appreciation and kindness, that could be felt. Believe me; "Kindness is a language, the blind can see and the deaf can hear." What more by waiters who are there to serve and to depend solely from tipping, certainly could understand a sincere or non sincere tipper.

To those who read this article, please be aware from now onward; have a heart for the waiters. Tip the correct way, for your manner and character would be shown and reflected.

You don't tip, you are a stingy and a miser. You tip too much, your heart has pain and you would grumble. Tip with sincere appreciation would be the best policy. Whatever the tipping style, only you would know the truth of yourself.

"True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." If you could understand this phrase, one would be too glad to tip for the sake of showing appreciation to the deserving one.

Why Mr Singh is stronger?

Are you aware that Punjabi is the most minority race in Malaysia. I think they are less than 1% of the population. And yet they stand tall because with their sharp pointed turban and thick beard, any one Singh could be seen from afar. Funny isn't it?

Do you have many closed or best Punjabi friends? Even if you have, there would not be many of them for you to know. However I am proud to say, I do have many Singh and Kaur as my brothers and sisters. I have more than 50 Punjabi friends and some of them are considered my best buddies.

Their race might be small in number but they are a special class above the rest of us. Have you seen any Punjabi beggar who begs? Not me! Have you heard or seen any Punjabi who is so poor to ask for charity? Never! Because they are very united within themselves. Any Singh who wears a turban and sees another turban Singh would greet each other from a distance. Even though they might not know each other in person. This is the manner and culture for all Singhs.

Most Punjabi of today are professionals or doing their own business or corporate figures. I considered them to be successful. Most of my Punjabi friends are doctors, scientists, engineers, architects, lawyers, nurses or self employed. These are the third generation Punjabi of Malaysia.

For what they are today, I think they have to be thankful to their grand fathers who first step foot in this country, which was Malaya then. Those who arrived from India at that time, brought nothing with them but just their bare hands and legs to work. The other races came as well but non could work harder and sacrificed more than the Big Singh.

Most people could work one or two jobs a time. Right? Not the first generation Singh in Malaya because they almost had four different jobs or income a time. Believe me!

The father Singh would be working during the day with a company, drawing a fixed salary. Meanwhile, his family would be rearing cows to produce milk everyday. They supplied fresh cow's milk right to your home at a reasonable price. In the night, when all would be going home to spend time with the family, the father Singh would be reporting to the Chartered Bank for night duty. Can you guys remember the advertisement, "Singh, the friendly jaga from Chartered bank?" They slept on bed made with rope when we slept on bed made with cotton.
One more before I forget. The family also had a private unlicensed money lending business.

So the sacrifices and hard work from father Singh and family, gave them an edge to earn the amount of income, when most other races were not prepared to do. The Singh also had foresight for their growing children. They made sure the children were given the best for education. Those days, most would be contented with a Senior Cambridge certificate or GCE level qualification to pursuit for employment. Not the Singh, because they could afford to send their children abroad for university courses which most could not dream of.

Today the Punjabi has gone far and progressed well in life. They are no longer termed as jaga. They don't have to supply milk to your home. They don't sleep on rope bed by the shop corridor. Instead of lending money, they give charity to the needed one. Small in number but successful in size. The next time you meet a Singh or a Kaur, please rub shoulder with them and you would be learning something great that your parents might have missed out. Just like me having to learn and inspire by these friends; Peritam, Sidhu, Manjit, Harcharan, Jeswant, Jagdish, Dhaliwal, Hanjeet, Nirmal, Dharamvir, Gurdip, Karamjeet, Joginder, Ranjit and others.

Thank you my brothers Singh and my Sisters Kaur, who had one way or another thought me to live right in life; "Life is largely a matter of expectation. If you want to succeed, you must expect to succeed. So if you begin with some wild expectations, you'll succeed beyond your wildest expectation. When you expect things to happen, strangely enough, they do happen. Expectation energizes your goals and give them momentum. When you believe something good can happen, it will happen. The dreams you believe it comes to be. Your life responds to your outlook."

My hobby selling life insurance

I have been selling life insurance since 1982. It could be my destiny that I am blessed to take up this career for I love to reach and touch lives.

Most of my fellow colleagues failed in this business mainly because they sold for the sake of selling. They had never understood the objectives of being a true life insurance agent.

Of course, all of us started the career with the intention of earning good money to fulfill our needs and dreams. At the beginning, all of us had to work extremely hard, to learn, to re-learn and to unlearn. The sacrifices and the effort we had to put out were beyond imagination. There would be no day and night, no weekend off and no public holiday and even no time for family at times.

We cannot be selling like the above way of life for too long. You would get tired at the end of it. The ideal way is to live by a well balanced or rounded life. Have time with families, have time with societies, have time with yourself and also have time with God as well.

To master the art of selling, we need to acquire knowledge and selling skills. These take time and effort again. Many could have learned the trick of the trade but yet get bored along the way. Reason, they had been selling or working too long in the business and got tired out of it.

There is a saying, "work is a chore whereas a hobby is fun." Another that said, "All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy." So unless you know how to convert your work as a hobby, you would not be able to stay long in this career.

I have been fortunate with my career because I do enjoy myself with it. I love to talk as talking is my interest. I love talking to the young and old or to the poor and the rich. My talk and sharing are sincere and full of enthusiasm. All my listeners enjoyed my talks and sharing. I was actually having fun and not work as many thought I was.

I love to reach and to meet people and to share my knowledge and wisdom of life. Most people don't because most people are selfish. They thought by sharing, they are going to lose more by giving. They only give when they know they are going to gain. Is a very sad thing in life to think that way. They are not aware that,"The more you give, the more you should be receiving".

I hope my words would change those, who are reading these contents.

I could stay in this business for this long, when most would have called it a day; is because I love selling so much that it had never in my mind that I wanted to quit. Unless my company, Prudential do not need me any more or if I am called upon by God to be with him. I sell with compassion and joy. I sell with fun and laughter. I sell with hope and inspiration. I am having a marvellous time which I could go on endlessly. Selling insurance is really a hobby and interest to me. Please don't ask me to quit!

Words spoken by Mother Theresa; "We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." You are right, Mother, I am not a scholar, neither am I a great statesman. But I have true love like you and I strongly believe I can do small things to save more lives.

I sincerely hope my words could enlighten many of my fellow colleagues to understand the concept of selling life insurance and be successful in this career.

Indian mamak versus Chinese coffeeshop

Any one of us would notice that Indian Mamak are available almost every corner of The Klang Valley. Every township, every block of building and every Jalan, one would not miss Mamak shops for makan. They have Curry Fish Head or Banana Leaf, all branded in varieties.

Out of my 7 lunches per week, I would be having 5 at mamak. Not that I am crazy with mamak but the fact is our Chinese Coffee shop is getting out of place.

The Chinese do not serve the original Chinese hawker food like they used to cook 20 years ago. Most of the one in P.J. are actually own by Chinese but food is served by non Chinese, like Indonesian or Myanmar. What a shame! Chinese and not Chinese. (OCBC..orang china bukan china!)

I think, Chinese has dollar sign on their face. Imagine when food is served, you have to pay first. Where else, you eat first and pay later when you are in the mamak. The Chinese don't trust their customers but mamak do. Mamak knows and understands," one can't be cheating for filling one's stomach."

You can eat what ever you like and pay over the counter later, just by your words. I salute mamak for the trust given to their customers.

Any food order with plain water, mamak do not charge the water because it's too cheap to be charged. However, if is in the Chinese shop, plain water could be charged from 30cents to 60cents. They have got no heart for their customers. They just want to make money in every corner.

After a meal in the mamak shop, you can have a free tissue to wipe your mouth or hand. Ah! No way in the Chiness shop, they hope you don't carry any tissue cos this is another opportunity for them to sell a packet of tissue for another 40 cents before you leave.

Even before you leave, think twice before you intend to wash or to looloo at their toilets. Most ladies would not use their toilets because they really stink and smell. I wander whether they have time to wash and clean them. All ladies go to the wash rooms over at the mamak place for they rest assured, they are in tip top conditon all the time. They have special cleaners to clean and wash every hourly. I have even seen few mamak wash rooms of the 5stars standard. You really impress me!

Food wise is tasty, specially cooked by the Indian, imported from their motherland. Price is reasonable compare to the Chinese. However the original taste of the Chinese food had disappeared. They can take the non Chinese for a ride but definately not me and many of my friends. Non of my girlfriends would like me to date them in this class of chinese shops, except the old aunties who have no choices.

Sad for the Chinese because Chinese coffeeshops would be getting lesser by the days. Mark my words! Not the mamak. They were hardly seen 20 years ago but today, they stand tall to show that they are progressing.

Morale of the story; "People hate to change. If change can be for the betterment. Why not change!"

The Chinese loves to profit without accepting changes and they are finding it difficult to survive at the moment. The mamak accepts changes with willingness and they are advancing rapidly.

I wrote this article specially for my friend, Sheikh Jameel who invited me to a very presentable mamak restaurant in Sentul, where this topic was discussed with laughter. Thank you for the marvellous lunch, Jameel.

Blind but with determination

We don't need to go afar to hear or to see what true determination is. Our local news talked about this recent title on our people; "Nothing is going to stop this man from getting a job".

Partially blind Che Yatim Yahya travelled from his home in Kuala Lumpur just to try his luck at finding a job in Penang.

Che Yatim, 32, his blind wife, Rohazanah Ismail, 32, and partially blind one-year daughter, Amy Nadhirah Syazwani, boarded a bus at Puduraya on Tuesday night and arrived in Penang at 5am on Wednesday.

They returned to Kuala Lumpur after Che Yatim applied for various positions during the Career Day for the Disabled held at St Nicholas Home in Penang on Wednesday.

Che Yatim said he did not mind travelling that far to secure a stable job to support his family.

"I do not want to be a begger. As long as I am able to work, I will."

"I worked in a factory in Penang for eight years until I was forced to take up a voluntary separation scheme offer four years ago."

He said since then, he had been doing odd jobs. Despite being totally blind, his wife makes kuih and sells snacks on the street and at market.

"I need a stable job, my older children, Amy, is partially blind," he said.

Che Yatim said he came to Penang with hopes after learning about the Career day programme through the Blind Based in Brickfields, Kuala Lumpur.

This is a true spirit of a Malaysian, who is blind but spoken with a powerful statement, "I do not want to be a begger. As long as I am able to work." Yes! Malaysian Boleh!

Never give up:

"Everytime we fall in life, we give up. We give up our dreams, give up ourselves.

Waves are inspiring, not because they rise and fall, they never fail to rise again.

To win, you need to try, try till you will."

Younger wife & older husband

Yesterday I had a chance to talk to a young client of only 26 years old. His father is also my current client. I knew him when he was still schooling. Today he is working and we can talk like friend without barrier. We are comfortable with each other. I gained his youthfulness and respect and he learned my wisdom. Just address him as Chan.

I could see Chan's eyes were full of love and joy. I asked him, "Are you in love?" He told me he has found a new girl friend of the same age. They are very happy, except that they have little time to meet because Chan has to work long and at odd hours of the day.

A lot of youngsters at this age fall in love quite easily because they have emotion and feeling too. For a young man like him to have girl friend is alright but for him to fall in love and soon to get marry is definately too early. On the hand, for a girl of this age to fall in love and soon to get marry is perfect which is my personal opinion.

In nature, most girls develop faster and mature earlier than boys of similar age group. Look around yourself and you would see the different. I told Chan, "good for you to have found a girl friend but have you seen enough of many girls to know she is the best."

Our eyes are very deceiving, we always look and judge by the external rather than the inner of oneself. I quoted this meaningful phrases, "The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows." This article was posted also in March recently.

"Marry to a person who loves to listen to you, and marry to the person who loves to talk to you". If you believe these words, you would never fail in your marriage life. "Husband loves to talk and wife loves to listen." This type of interesting relationship would last a life time.

Marry to the woman who is much much younger than you. Don't be afraid to look for a partner who is 10 years younger or more. For the man would always see the woman as young. Just imagine when he is 60, his wife is only 50. She is still pretty and young to him. The vast different of age would also allow the man to be smarter and more understanding in the long run.

Chan, you need to have many girl friends at this age. Work harder now and build yourself a good career and be successful by 30. Consider a good wife who is a caring one and if possible she has to be much younger than you.

Chan was very engrossed to this conversation, a facts of life very seldom spoken in the home or among friends. I was supposed to explain my products but instead I spoke on the hidden facts of life to enlighten him, I hope.

For what I had done I was happy coz; "Happiness is to know that my life has meaning and purpose, and that every day my life touches others in a positive way - whether to make them laugh or learn or both at once!"