Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Pre & Post Love Relationship

Love is a very important part of our life. Many friends encouraged me to blog this subject and let it be opened for deeper discussion. Perhaps from sharing and learning, we can be better lovers. I sincerely hope, my words and ideas would not be in any ways offending any readers. Please take it with a laugh, haha! or hihi! Agree?

In the first instance, do we actually know the meaning of LOVE? I am doubtful myself too! In The Oxford Dictionary, it is written as fondness, warm affection; sexual passion; sweet-heart or object beloved. I could spell and express all the meaning of it from the wisdom world; Love is patience, is kind, doesn't envy, it does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres. Are we sure, Love would not fail?

Many a time, when a man and a woman have interest and feeling for each other, they would bound to have love and affection. In order for the man to win his woman, he has to give the best of himself. He can go for miles to meet her. He can buy countless roses to attract her. He can wait with patience until the sun sets and yet he won't grumble. He is kind to offer all assistance to make life easier for her. His voice is humble and would not raise to scare her in any way. He is a gentleman who would honour his words. Under any bad circumstances, he would not get upset but smiles all through. There would never be any wrong of her in his mind. He would try romantically to win her, until she say, "Yes! Darling I love you." Would you agree, this part of affection as the 'Pre-love' period, when everything is perfect or fits well into the definition of love as specified as from the above?

Similarly, the woman who has feeling over her man, the 'Pre-love' period would be too good to be true. She would show her charm and feminine to the best of herself, whenever she sees him. After all, is woman attraction that tickles the mind of man. Her voice is sweet and tender. Her attention towards him is focus. She is a good listener and she shows all keen interest to learn from him. She does not mind to spend hours and yet time is like too short to be together. She would be too proud to stand tall with him. She wants her hands to be held firmly. Hugging and kissing would be the next. She wants a lot of attention from him. She doesn't mind to be disturbed, day or night, week day or weekend. She likes to be teased and cuddled. Is this LOVE!

Things changed when "I LOVE YOU" is finally declared by both couples. I would term this period as 'Post-Love' from now onwards. Now that the woman is his lover, would he still be as loving as Pre-Love stage. Look around ourselves. Ask around to verify from couples you know. Ask the husbands or wives. Or even ask yourself, if you are already married or having a lover. Are we a better lover during the pre-love or post-love period?

Now that both claimed to be truly in love when the forbidden apple had been eaten, what happened now. During this post period, did the man still gave the best of himself to her. Did he run the extra miles for her now like before? Did he forgets to send her a rose? Was he still having the patience to wait or he just disappeared for no reason given. Did he raise his voice when he was upset with her? Did he complain and criticise, until she cried like a baby and he still not bothered? Was his romance as wild as before? He had forgotten the meaning of love?

What happened to the ladies on post-love period! Did she take the effort to look as charming for him?Did she speak with the same sweet and tender voice to tickle her man? Had she given the same attention and focus? Did she remain as good listener or "Aiyah! don't talk so much lah. I need to get up early." Would she like to be hugged and kissed more. Or she said, "Stop it! I am tired!" Is this love my readers?

Is very obvious to notice the different of the Pre & Post Love stage of couples. At pre stage, love was expressive and spiced with romance and excitement, but at post stage, it was totally the different. I am still pondering why are we behaving such an opposite manner. If we spend time in any doing, we can improve our doing with experience. Meaning; if we work long enough with a job, we would be better on it. Surprisingly not on falling in love. Before we fell in love, we were better lover by instinct but when we became real lover, we lost our instinct to be a true lover.

Some said, the causes is due to taking for granted from each other. Or perhaps there are more forbidden apples still available in this world. I am not sure either but if my interested readers could offer some comments, we might see a way to correct our weaknesses toward the complication of love relationship.

There is a short proverb I won't forget; "You think you know, but you do not know. For when you know that you do not know, you would know that you actually do not know!"

Would appreciate, if comments could be given for further expansion on this subject.


Debbie Wong said...

How do one upkeep the enthusiasm and intense passion during courtship? Or may be we are talking about an issue that is quite impossible to obtain due to human nature instead of looking at it as our weakness?

Anonymous said...

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and end with a tear? In life, i believed many people have suffered and disappointed in the game of love. If love is not a game why are there so many players and surely there must be one who cheats... Sometimes not just because of taking things for granted but along the way he or she will find someone who are more charming, intelligent, understanding, greater sex appeal and etc... there it goes! Because there is no spouse or lover who are perfect! Human just wanna keep looking or hunting for the best lover or partner. Sometimes i just wonder why a relationship can be so fragile when so much efforts had put in during courtship and during times when they are together as one? Faithfulness happens when you thanking God for what you already have, treasuring and appreciating what has been given to you by your love one. There is no remedy to love but to love more. And to gain more wisdom of life, just read hahaha...

Anonymous said...

The problem as I see it young people become able to feel love much too soon, or before they can learn how to love. The goal should not be to cause someone to fall in love, which is the usual goal, but to develop a love that will never die.

Robert Foo said...

reply to anonymous...

It is always easy spoken to develop a love that will never die. The only way perhaps is to understand the wisdom of life.